


The Metamorphosis Of Apathy Part I

by Trikkster



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Autoerotic Asphyxiation, M/M, Other, Out Of Character Rick, Rope Bondage, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sensation Play, Strangulation, explicit sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2018-10-29 23:19:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 86,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10864203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trikkster/pseuds/Trikkster
Summary: "I will cut pieces off of Daryl, and put 'em on your doorstep. Or better yet. . . I will bring him to you and have you  do it for me." What if Negan wouldn't have had to take Daryl all the way to Alexandria if he needed to have Rick do it for him? What if all he had to do was bring him right down the hall? What if instead of forcing Rick to produce for him after threatening to kill him, Negan merely eliminated the threat of Rick having time to rally and rebel with his friends? An Alternate Storyline that starts right after Negan starts to break Rick, this follows a tale in which Negan takes Rick back to the Sanctuary and Rick is forced to comply with the sadist's wishes or suffer the consequences. But can Rick take Negan down from the inside out? And if he can, will he still be the same man coming out on the other side? Due to the different situation, there will be obvious OOC on Rick's part, but most of the rest of the storyline of Season 7 remains the same. More dubcon than noncon, but the warning is there for those who might disagree with the dubcon rating. Master/Slave relationship is included, as well as Character Death. Reviews are encouraged, Flamers are not. Hope you enjoy!





	1. Prologue

“Even extreme grief may ultimately vent  
itself in violence--but more generally takes the form of apathy” -Joseph Conrad Heart of Darkness Part 2 Page 8  
Prologue  
Rick walked down the pale hallway, bloodshot eyes focused on the knobless door at the other end. With every step he took the weight of what he was about to do seemed to bear down on him more and the black cane in his right hand shook. As he walked through the beams of light given off by the windows looking in on the unfinished hallway from the outside world, his head throbbed in its swollen state from the hammering he’d taken from his enemy just days before. Even without looking at a mirror, he knew that it was grotesque in its swollen, wounded state. But those injuries were nothing compared to the injuries that had happened to him over the course of the past two years.  
Upon reaching the door, he felt his heartbeat speed up and he sucked in a deep breath that strained his battered chest, attempting to calm himself down. “You can just walk away Dad. You don’t have to see him. We can keep him alive if you want, or we can kill him. It’s up to you. But you don’t have to be here for either one,” Carl whispered. Rick turned around to stare at his son, ignoring the twinge in his twisted leg as he twisted around to face the younger man. The war with the Saviors had molded Carl as the teen he’d been ripped from had turned into the man that now stood before him, and the changes that Rick continued to notice floored him.  
Carl had now reached Rick’s own height, his steel blue eye piercing into Rick’s own as it looked into his soul. Although Carl’s words had attempted to be comforting, Rick knew that eye would turn quickly to disappointment if it saw what now lay at his core. Carl frowned at Rick, the long haired man’s back straight and braced, the muscles that now defined his lean figure tight beneath the plaid short sleeve shirt he wore open over his ripped and stained white wife beater. Rick recognized the jeans his son wore as one of his old pairs, Carl having grown into them as he’d taken on his new role in the Alexandrian community. From what Rick could see his son had acquired a new bride in the process, given the dinged up ring that was now wrapped around his offspring’s left hand ring finger. It drove home just how much he had missed of his son’s life and made him realize just what he’d lost while he’d been away.  
“No Carl,” Rick said, trying to keep any shakiness out of his voice, “I appreciate the offer, but I have to do this. I have to face him.” It would be hard to explain why he needed to see the monster beyond the door, and he hoped that Carl wouldn’t ask him why. To be honest, he didn’t fully know the answer. But something was wrong and something in him was telling him that doing this would help him in some way. Carl frowned, his blue eye seeking his father’s own for further clarification as to why this was so important to Rick. Seeing none, his son sighed, lowering his head and taking his hat off with one hand whilst the other ran through his hair, pushing through the thick brown locks he’d inherited from his mother, “Alright Dad. Do what you have to do. Just know I’ll be out here for you if you need me.” Rick nodded, forcing a smile across his face, “Thanks son. I appreciate it.” Carl nodded, offering a pseudo smile to his father and resting his right hand on the gun holster on his right hip, “Just remember I’m right here if you need me.” Rick nodded in understanding and turned to gaze at the old, chipped surface of the basement door.  
The thought of opening it and facing the monster on the other side threatened to paralyze Rick, but he forced his arm forward and pushed the door open. Swinging inward the barrier opened with a loud creak, revealing the wrought iron bars of the cage that took up half of the room beyond. Rick breathed hard as his heartbeat reached new heights and he walked slowly into the room. Michonne and Maggie stood beside the cage, their backs straight as the first held a Katanna and the other an assault rifle. Rick glanced at each of them in turn, seeing the same look he’d seen in every other Alexandrian’s eyes-even in Carl’s- since he’d first woken up. It was a look of pity and betrayal all in one, and he didn’t blame any of them for giving it to him.  
Sure, they all knew he’d done everything with the goal of taking the enemy down and saving everyone, but the things he’d done to accomplish his task had taken him far too close to the darkness for anyone’s liking or comfort, even his own. So, while everyone voiced forgiveness, the distance they physically and emotionally maintained revealed the betrayal they had felt and couldn’t deny-none of them were that good of a liar. It made Rick wonder just what he’d won in the end. The family that he had longed for or a community where he felt like a stranger in a crowd?   
“Well would ya look at that. I’ve fucking got a goddamn visitor. Sorry I couldn’t have something to fucking drink or eat waiting for ya, but you know, in a shitty cell. . . kinda limits your goddamn options,” Negan remarked, and Rick’s blue eyes darted to the man leaning against the opposite wall, that cheshire grin still firmly in place even with the cloth of the sling holding his dislocated right arm wrapped around his thick neck, some sloppily dressed bullet wounds littering his body, and discolored bruises making his face a prism of yellow, purple, and black. Even sitting in the cell before him, the man had a presence that commanded attention like no one else had in Rick’s lifetime. It chilled Rick to know just how powerful the man still seemed to be after all that had happened.   
He’d lost- Rick had taken out his weapon of choice and helped Alexandria bring his cult of followers to their knees- yet his mere voice still had a pull on Rick that made him straighten his back and lock eyes with the other man’s own. And as his obsidian eyes rested on Rick, the smug look they portrayed let Rick know that the ruthless man behind the bars knew just how he still affected the former Sheriff. “Why don’t you motherfuckers leave us alone. Rick and I need a little time for a heart to heart,” the sitting man drawled, the laziness in his voice representing the irony he’d always held. He was in a situation where he was probably in constant pain and death waited just around the corner, and yet he was talking as if he and Rick were in a living room about to have a chat over some beers.   
Maggie and Michonne looked like they were about to say something and object to what Negan was suggesting. But before they could say that they were staying no matter what, Rick spoke up in a shaky, hoarse voice even as his eyes were still trapped within Negan’s own, wishing he could at least fake the confidence he knew he didn’t have in him, “It’s ok, he’s right. I need to talk to him. Alone.” He glanced at Michonne who frowned at him, jaw set firm. Her eyes no longer held the warmth like they had before, and even though he knew the reason why and understood it, that fact cut deeper than her sword ever could. “Come on Michonne, Maggie,” Carl said behind him, “No one’s going to try anything, and if they do we’ll be right outside.” Rick bristled at his son’s words. The way Carl spoke, Rick belonged in the cell right beside Negan. Maybe he did. That thought settled like a brick in Rick’s gut. Did he want to be alone with Negan so badly, did the idea of being away from the others and their judgmental eyes seem like such a breath of fresh air, because he belonged in the cage with the killer?   
Michonne and Maggie sucked in deep breaths, glancing at Carl, Rick, and the monster in the cage. He swore that those eyes held more contempt for him than the former Savior Leader as they walked past him and out of the cage. He was told that he would have 10 minutes, and the door was shut behind him. He closed his eyes for a moment, and sighed as he felt his body relax. He wished that wasn’t the response his body had, but how could he deny it? The tension he’d felt in that moment had threatened to crush any resolve he had left.  
“So what the fuck was so important for you to come visit me about, Ricky boy?” Negan slurred, tilting his head to the side and smirking at Rick, his good arm coming around to lace its hard fingers in with those of his limp one’s hand. Rick grit his teeth, opening his crystal blue eyes and taking steps forward to where he was only inches from the bars, his cane tapping against the floor as he drew closer to the cage and the emissary of darkness waiting on the other side of it. Looking into Negan’s smiling, waiting face, finally having the upper hand with the monster he’d come to fear so much, he had so many words bubbling up inside of him, but none seemed to make it to his lips. After so much torture, so much pain, a part of him wanted to wrench the cage open and finish what he’d started just days before and end the dark haired man smirking back at him.   
But as he gazed at Negan, he knew that that would never happen. As fast as the thought of killing Negan had entered his mind, it seemed as though his natural response was to discard it. A part of him even wondered if he’d be able to do it. There was something about Negan that made him feel like while he could hit him and take him down, there was no way anyone could ever end him for good. The other man seemed like a driving force of nature, so much more than a mortal man.  
He sucked in a deep breath, being on the other side of the bars and still feeling like he was the one trapped, not Negan. Negan chuckled, smirking at him, “What, don’t have anything to fucking say to me? Well that’s a fucking shame, because I gotta tell ya, after all that goddamn excitement the other day it’ll be pretty fucking boring if we just sit here staring at each other. . .I know! How about you boast about how you fooled me and won against me?” Rick blinked, “I. . . just wanted to make sure you were locked in for good.” Negan chuckled and shook his head, rising up to saunter towards the bars, exuding confidence in spite of his obvious limp, “You fucking shit. The way you have lied to me for so long, that attempt seemed weak at best.”  
Rick gulped hard, taking a step away and stumbling as he accidentally moved onto his injured leg. At that point Negan was at the bars, and chuckling, his firm hand shot through them and grabbed the front of Rick’s black wife beater, yanking Rick hard against the bars, though not enough for them to ring, “Let me fucking help ya before you fall on your goddamn ass. Then I’ll tell ya why that fucking lie just shows me what a goddamn failure I lost to.” Sucking in a deep breath, Rick felt tears of gratitude spring to his eyes. While Negan terrified him, this seemed so much more normal to him than the way the others behaved around him. It was like a breath of fresh air, it was something he’d grown used to. And he hated himself for being so thankful for it. Or at least, he should have hated himself.  
Negan sneered at him, his hot breath hitting Rick in the face, “Ya see, even if I thought that you were telling the truth about why you fucking came here, I’d still think you don’t know what the goddamn fuck you’re doing. What you should be doing is boast about your victory over me, you little shit, not ‘make sure’ I’m ‘locked in for good’,” he spat at Rick’s feet, dark eyes boring into Rick’s, “I mean I might have fucked your brains out bitch, but don’t you have enough goddamn sense to know how to fucking act when you’ve won? I mean, aren’t I the one who ended up in a cage in the end? Doesn’t the fact that you were smart enough to blind me with good fucks and acts of violence as you tore down and took over my inner network just stroke your fucking ego? That should be what you’re fucking saying to me. Not the lame attempt you just fucking put up.”  
Rick breathed hard, gritting his teeth and locking his jaw as Negan continued, the smirk on the man’s face growing by the minute, “I mean, After all the planning and manipulation, aren’t you happy you finally won? Aren’t you proud of what you’ve fucking done? What the fuck do you goddamn feel Ricky? Tell me that.” Rick gulped, his glassy blue eyes revealing the realization Negan was forcing him to face. It was something that somehow he’d always known, but had forced himself to deny for the greater good.   
“Nothing, I . . .feel nothing,” Rick whispered hoarsely, the cane shaking violently in his trembling hand, “I don’t feel bad for what I did to beat you, all the people I killed. I don’t feel proud that I finally won. I don’t feel anything.” His shoulders sagged as he gazed into those pitiless black eyes, “I’m NOT anything.” he whispered the words leaving him empty like a hollow shell. His hand jerked, the cane clattering to the floor before he fell to his knees, Negan’s hand still gripping the hem of his black tank, stretching the material, gazing at the ground, feeling lost, confused, and empty. All his life he had been something. He’d always felt something as a result of being asked to play a role. But now, he felt nothing. There was no role for him to take on. It seemed like no one wanted him for anything any more. He was merely a faceless entity, floating in time and space, with no purpose and no one who needed him.   
In fact, they all acted like they wanted to avoid him. Even Judith. Hell, she acted like she didn’t even know who he was. Who was he anyway? He was nothing, and therefore he felt nothing. Negan’s grin stretched wider across his face, and the chuckle began to rumble in his chest and up his throat, before he tilted his head back, eyes closed as his laugh began to rise up out of him and flood the cell. Finally Rick was faced with the reality he’d subconsciously known since he’d awoken but had never faced head on: he may have taken Negan down, but he hadn’t won. Not by a long shot. Ever since the bastard had waltzed into his life, he’d been fighting a losing battle.


	2. Things Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we are back to two years prior to the Prologue of this tale! Rick has just nearly cut off his son's arm the day after he came up against the force that is Negan for the first time and Negan has rocked his foundation of support by taking a crucial part of Rick's group from him: Daryl. But Negan isn't through yet, and things don't go nearly as smoothly for Rick as they did in the traditional show story line. In this chapter Rick learns that he has little to no chance of fighting back in the future, because Negan decides to SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to formally thank GettinGrimey for the wonderful comment left on the Prologue, along with all the Kudos received from other readers as well. Your support encourages me, and makes me strive to live up to any expectations you might have of me. I will ATTEMPT to make each chapter update not too far from the previous one, I assure you all, and will do my very best to proofread each one to the point where they are a pleasure and joy to read. Without further ado, I do hope you enjoy this chapter just as much if not more than the last.  
> Also, any lines from the show that are used here, I do not own. Just the part of this plot that is original I own, but I seek to make no profit. *thumbs up* and that's my disclaimer.

“Maybe not today! Maybe not tomorrow! I will cut pieces off of. . . hell’s his name?” Negan looked to one of his men and Rick followed the obsidian gaze, recognizing the man Negan now referred to as the one who had been such a loudmouth before out on the road. He sucked in a deep breath-a vain attempt to calm himself down-his nerves now frayed in ways they had never been before. With all that had happened since the Savior Leader and Lucille had first come out of the RV and started their fun punishing the group, Rick’s mind, spirit and body had been thoroughly exhausted. Sweat covered his trembling body, and he thought about shoving his blood soaked jacket off. But he couldn’t move. In fact he couldn’t do anything. For the first time in a long time, Rick Grimes had no idea what to do next.  
He could no longer think straight, his thoughts having become a jumbled mess that left him in a state of paralysis both mentally and physically. His state of confusion was only worsened by the loss of Daryl, his right hand man. Even though they had had their moments apart, ultimately Daryl had always been there to support him and fight for him when it really mattered. Suddenly a bang from the van Daryl’d been shoved in grabbed the attention of him and the others, and Rick jerked his head around as Negan whistled appreciatively to the sounds of a struggle as the Archer, loyal to the end, tried to continue to fight and get back to Rick and the group. Once the banging and thumping had ceased, Rick sighed, hanging his head. Just like that small act of rebellion, their entire situation was hopeless.  
Rick shuddered, gazing into the dirt beneath him, tears building in his eyes. Not once since Glenn had saved him in Atlanta had he felt so lost. At the thought of Glenn, he glanced at the corpse that had been his living and breathing friend just the day before. The father of Maggie’s unborn child now lay in the dirt, his head like hamburger meat with pieces of bone poking through the slop that had been his brain. His eyes shifted to Maggie and his heart clenched as she, still in clear physical distress from the ailment that had gotten them all out on the road in the first place, continued to sob silently, breathing heavily and bending over, consumed in the sea of emotional and physical pain she found herself in. It caused him to remember the pain he’d felt at Lori’s loss, and he could only imagine that hers was only intensified by the fact that she had just watched the sadist they were to now produce for bash her husband’s head in himself. Just that quickly, Glenn had been ripped from their group. He swallowed the sob that threatened to emit from his throat, unable to stop the crystalline rivers that streaked down his face and through the blood and grit caked there as he shuddered.  
So much had changed in such a short time. Carol had left, Morgan had gone after her, Glenn and Abraham had been killed, and now Daryl was gone, most likely to be tortured slowly at wherever Negan called home. The thought of Daryl held down while Negan had his way cutting apart the Archer gripped Rick with fear for the other man’s fate. Shutting his eyes, Rick bowed his head further as he realized all too well that today might have been the last time he’d see the Archer alive. It made him wish that they’d never woken up that morning, hell, it made him wish they’d never even attacked the Hilltop outpost. It made him wish he’d never heard the goddamn name Hilltop.  
“Better yet, I’ll just bring him to you and let you do it for me,” Negan’s voice came back into Rick’s senses as the black haired man leaned closer to the brunette, rolling Lucille around so that the larger end of her was underneath Rick’s chin, forcing him to look up and into the pitiless eyes of the sadist. The man’s eyes were two black pits of malice that seemed to swallow Rick in their gaze, threatening to drown him with the psychological and physical pain the bloodlust within them promised to create.  
Rick let out a shuddering breath as the man’s words chilled him to the bone. Negan turned to his son and muttered for Carl to get back in line. Carl didn’t make a move to get back in line other than moving to kneel and enter into a wordless stare down with the Savior Leader. “I said back in line, young man,” Negan growled out, and the rest of Rick’s group tensed, hearing the cruel intent lacing the man’s words. Rick gulped, eyes locking onto his son, the thought of him getting hurt terrifying to him. Glancing at his father, at first Carl looked like he was about to protest, but Rick quickly shook his head, lips shaking along with the rest of his body as he gazed at his son, “Just get back in line Carl. Do as he says,” the man whispered.  
Carl’s steel blue eyes bore into Rick’s own and Rick saw the battle raging within his son. He understood that battle all too well, and knew he was the reason it was there. Carl had for the longest time been taught that fighting was their best chance for ultimate survival, and Rick had been his primary teacher. Rick had always fought to get ahead in the dystopia they had found themselves in and up until now he’d come out the other side relatively unscathed. To Carl, that had meant that fighting would lead to victory and survival. But this situation was different, that much was clear, and he hoped that Carl would realize what Negan had forced Rick to face as the truth: fighting against this opponent wouldn’t work.  
Negan had too much muscle and resources for Alexandria to be able to wear the Saviors down and take them out, meaning that however hard they hit them, the man whose dark eyes now bore into Rick would only strike back even harder, taking out more of the people they loved until he’d torn the group up into nothing but a bunch of broken people.  
Carl frowned at his father for a moment longer, then nodded stiffly, “Sure dad.” As the one eyed teen crawled back to be a part of the main lineup, Rick turned from his son after giving him a grateful, shaky smile to look up at Negan. Negan smirked, “Smart move Papa Bear. Keeping your Cub in line. I woulda hated to splatter his brains all over your fucking miserable face. Now, where was I? Oh yes, if you or your goddamn group try to rebel against me, I won’t simply cut off pieces of Daryl. I will have you fucking cut pieces off of the asshole for me. After all, you’re both going to the same goddamn place, and I think . . .” He jerked his wrist at that, forcing the tip of the bat against Rick’s chin more so that the barbs cut into him, digging into his skin and making ruby streams flow slowly out of the skin there. Negan’s dark eyes watched as the rivers moved over and into the barbs and grooves of his beloved bat, his gaze lingering on them as he licked his lips and spoke his next words, “I think that it will have SO much more of an impact if you have to do it. It might help keep you in line with what I have planned for you,” lowering Lucille, Negan cocked his head to the side, a Cheshire like grin spreading across his face, teeth flashing as his obsidian eyes refocused on Rick, prodding Rick in the chest with the end of the bat, “Don’t you agree?”  
Rick’s mouth fell open, disbelief flooding him as he stared at Negan and processed what the Leader was saying. The man had to be kidding. It would have been hard enough for Alexandria to provide for Negan-much less stand up to the man- with him there, but without him? Now they had no chance at all of doing the latter of those things-hell, they barely would be able to do the first. Looking at the other man’s smug face, he realized that that was just the point of the Leader’s decision.  
Negan shot up before Rick had a chance to say anything to try to convince him otherwise and tossed the axe towards the RV, the weapon sliding in the dirt once it landed. Rick’s eyes watched it move away from him, and not for the first time he wished he could have taken the man out with it before in the RV. His arm moving down, the Savior Leader grabbed the back of Rick’s jacket, his calloused fingers wrapping around the fur collar firmly as he yanked Rick backwards, making the other man grunt and wince as his ankle was twisted and he was tossed onto his ass in the dirt, yelping as his back slammed into the earth and he had the wind knocked out of him as Negan let go. “NO! YOU CAN’T TAKE HIM!” A thud caught Rick’s attention and he jerked his head around to see a bloody knot forming where the butt of the Savior’s gun had hit his son in response to his outburst.  
“CARL!” he shouted, trying to lunge closer to his boy lying motionless on the ground, but Negan only grunted and slammed Lucille into Rick’s middle, making Rick cry out as he was slammed back into the dirt. A harsh boot caught Rick in his side and he yelled, eyes shut tight as he rolled on his side and curled up on himself instinctively before Negan’s hand was grabbing his collar again as the man yanked him around to face the earth beneath him, Rick gasping as he was forced to catch himself on his hands and knees and stare into the dirt with shaky blue eyes, turned completely away from his son. “Stay down and shut up for a moment. Kid should be fine, and we’ll load you on up with Daryl-boy soon enough,” Negan remarked as if dealing with an impatient child. Sucking in a deep breath, Rick shut his eyes tight, curling his fingers in the dirt into fists, waiting for the man’s next move.  
“NO! YOU WON’T TAKE HIM!” Michonne snapped suddenly, her resolve slipping, and Rick jerked his head up, tensing. Negan’s bat clocked him across the head, as if to keep him from moving. Rick cried out before collapsing in the dirt, hearing his group scuffling about and shouting around him, trying to rush to their leader’s aid. Rick panted against the rough earth, unable to resist his urge to figure out just how much damage had been done as he with shaking fingers reached back with his right hand to tenderly touch his now bleeding head. He let out a shuddering breath upon realizing as the pain slowly ebbed away that while he would have a huge knot at the base of his head soon, his skull was still intact. He panted, eyes wide as he breathed hard through his nose- bloodied by his impact with the dirt beneath him- and heard Negan address the others.  
“NO! No one moves! From now on, anything, and I mean ANYTHING you do against me, results in punishment for your FEARLESS LEADER! In fact, I saw three of you fuckers try to get up. Not to mention all five of you shouted, and cutie with the dreadlocks? Yeah, I’m talking to you sweetheart,” even with his face in the earth Rick could hear the man’s cheeky grin, “You actually managed TWO STEPS TOWARDS HIM! Tell me, is there something special about you? Has he stuck lil Rick Jr in your chocolate pussy yet?”  
He heard Negan chuckle, clearly having Michonne’s expression as confirmation for the suspicion, “Well, let’s just say if you want Rick Jr to stick around for much longer you BEST stay in line. But, as for right now. . . ” The last words came out as a growl, moments before the firm toe of a steel boot was placed in the small of Rick’s back, and he shuddered beneath Negan’s weight as the man pressed a portion of it down upon him. He closed his eyes tightly, not even turning his head, not wanting to see the Cheshire grin crossing the man’s face as the Leader continued, “It’s time to decide Rick’s punishment for that little skit ya’ll just put on for us. I know what you’re thinking. That this time should be a fucking warning. But you all SUCK at those! So I’m just going to make sure you motherfuckers know that I mean what I goddamn fucking say! So. . .That’s 10 swings from Lucille for each person who got up, each who shouted, and for each step you took, Hot Chocolate. Now Rick. . .”  
The steel toe dug deeper into Rick’s back, and Rick groaned at the explosions it created along his spine, “I hope for your sake that your back can take this. Hell, I won’t even put my full weight into it, because I would just hate for it to break before you do.Still, this is going to. Hurt. Like. A. Bitch! I’d brace myself if I were you.” Rick felt a bit of weight lift off of him even as the foot stayed in place, and knew Negan was leaning back and preparing for the first hit. In spite of Negan telling him to brace himself and in spite of Rick knowing that would be the best thing for him to do, he couldn’t calm himself down, everything was happening too fast, his breathing coming in short quick gasps as the thought of his punishment weighed down on him. That hit to the back of his head let him know enough: even without Negan’s full weight behind her Lucille could make his world explode with pain. That thought terrified him. Finally he started to still himself, gritting his teeth together as he clenched his jaws.  
When the Leader above him seemed to think Rick was ready for the first strike the hit finally came. With the force of a sledgehammer, Lucille came down between his shoulder blades and Rick arched himself, gritting his teeth to keep from yelling in pain, breathing hard through his nose and staring straight ahead into the ground. “1. . .” Negan breathed out in a soft voice. His jaw radiating pain from how tightly he’d been clenching it, he opened it to pant as he tried to mentally prepare for the next hit. It had been the tip of Lucille that time, focusing all of Negan’s force into one spot. It had hurt like a bitch, but he thought, maybe, he could handle a few direct hits like th. . .  
“AAAAAH!” Rick roared, head tossed back as the second hit was more of a batter’s swing across the middle of his back. The difference between that hit and the last, along with the fact that the pain of the first hit hadn’t fully ebbed away before it had come, caught him by surprise, wrenching the cry from his throat. “That’s what I love to hear, 2!” Negan laughed.  
The next two hits were much of hte same and in rapid succession, the bat going across the brunette’s entire backside one side to the other and back again, causing pain to explode across it and for Rick to jerk with each hit and start to wonder if his ribs or spine would break in spite of Negan claiming that that was not the intention. Still with each hit he made an effort to only hiss and not cry out as he had on the second hit. On the fifth strike, he heard a crack and gasped, pain flooding him before he leaned forward slightly heaving out heavy breaths as Lucille cracked a rib and bruised his lung.  
He didn’t think the bone broke fully, but the pain was enough to make his eyes water and to cause fresh snot come rolling down his face as a low rattling moan rolled out of his throat and he lowered his forehead slowly to the ground. “Ooooh, someone struck gold, now didn’t she?” Negan hissed, sneering down at the fallen man, “Must hurt like a bitch, huh Rick?” Rick breathed hard and buried his face deeper in the dirt, groaning as the pain, though ebbing away, still lingered within him.  
“Well, I hate to break it to ya, but thanks to these motherfuckers here you call your friends, you got five more to go, and Lucille’s really enjoying playing with you. But I am going to help ya out a bit here. . .” He stepped away, moving his foot off of RIck only to kick him in his bruised side. Rick cried out as he rolled over and his injured back landed on the ground, gazing with teary, pain filled crystal eyes at the sky, a beautiful picture that stood in sharp contrast above him when compared to the horror occurring where he lay. A shadow shifted above him, and he darted his fearful eyes to the Leader that now moved to stand over him, his boots firmly planted on either side of Rick’s hips, “I figure she won’t mind playing with your fucking front if I make the hits a bit harder. . . what do you think?” the man cocked his head to the side as if waiting for an answer.  
None came as Rick groaned at the sadist’s words and closed his eyes, about to suck in a deep breath and brace himself for what was to come, knowing that there was nothing he could say that would alter the course of upcoming events. . . he heard the wind singing before the bat made contact. It was another sledgehammer hit, straight into the middle of his chest, knocking any breath he had hoped to have right out of him before Lucille was dragging down his shirt, ripping it open and causing fresh blood to stream from him, his body jerking up towards Negan as he cried out at the pain. He panted, flopping back down with eyes shut as tears rolled down his cheeks and he lay in the dirt, the pain rolling over him in waves that threatened to drown him and send him into a void of unconsciousness. For once, he welcomed the idea. Anything to get away from where he was. . .  
Only a second passed before Lucille was singing through the air again and right into his stomach, and Rick lurched forward at the swing. Jerking up almost into a sitting position as she dragged away from him again, her barbs tearing at his abdomen, he panted, head tucked in, eyes squinting and catching sight of the blood seeping from his wounds. The pain filled man choked out weak sobs at the pain flooding through him, praying for it to drown him. His prayers went unanswered, and he resorted to instead try to tell himself that there were only three more hits to go. It did little to console him as Negan stood waiting and he lowered his shaking body back down onto the dirt, gazing at the sky that blurred as tears pooled in his crystal blue eyes.  
“Heh, good joke Lucille,” Negan slurred after a moment’s pause, making Rick’s eyes dart to the man hovering over him before the Savior was shouting out, “Let’s see what ol’ Ricky boy had for BREAKFAST!” Rick hissed as the other Saviors laughed around him, his stomach instinctively tensing before the bat slammed into Rick again, harder this time, and Rick grit his teeth feeling his gut lurch more, his back jerking at the hit, the former Sheriff not having the energy to rise up off of the ground. All of it had been leached from him with the swing of the wooden instrument of torture that was dragging away from him once more.  
“Ahhh, nothing yet? Well, perseverance should have its fucking reward. . . sooner or later” Negan chuckled, and the second hit came even harder, sending the bile up his throat and into his mouth. Rick lurched to the side to avoid hurling on himself, arms wrapping around his midsection, dry heaving into the dirt between sobs, eyes closed tight, the vile liquid leaving a sour taste on his tongue. “And there we fucking go!” Negan chuckled, and began to twist his wrist, twirling Lucille about at the end of it like a windmill, surrounding his victim like a predator with its prey, “Now, I promised your bitch over there that I wouldn’t take lil Rick Jr just yet. . .” Rick groaned, eyes opening to stare across at Michonne, his teeth gritted as he swam in the pain surrounding him. In spite of the pain he felt, he didn’t want her to feel responsible, and he hoped he conveyed that somehow.  
“But let’s make this last hit count for something goddamn memorable!” Negan shouted, wrenching Rick’s attention back to him and Lucille as the man jumped slightly before swinging Lucille down. Rick screamed, eyes open wide and head tossed back as the bat slammed into the crotch of his pants, his dick exploding in pain that made him see stars right before he blacked out.  
As he was dragged out of the darkness by the pulling words the man above him was saying, Rick began to pant into the dirt with the quick rapid breaths of a scared, injured animal. His body, which had already been flooded with pain, now had it all seem to culminate at the epicenter that was his crotch. Logic told him the hit shouldn’t have broken anything, mostly because there were no bones there to break, but damn it all if it didn’t hurt the worse. Curling up he tried to steady his breathing.  
“Anything else ya’ll do, results in something similar,” Negan was saying loudly above him, “I mean hell, even if you don’t like me, think of poor Rick! Unless of course you don’t give a shit about him,” he chuckled and Rick grit his teeth as Lucille’s blood covered barbs moved down to his face, one eye opening and gazing up at Negan who smirked down at the pain and suffering he saw in the other man’s crystalline depths, long scratch marks forming in his bat’s wake across Rick’s cheek. “Then Lucille and I will have some real fun with you, you little shit. . .But for now, I suggest you shut up so I can load you up.”  
Rick shook all over as he stared up at Negan, eyes pleading for mercy before he opened his trembling lips, even that movement causing pain to spike through him. Even as he spoke he knew the request would be foolish, and yet he needed to try to attempt to save himself. He knew that what he currently felt was merely a taste of what waited for him wherever Negan’s destination was, and that thought horrified him. “P-please, I could get you more stuff, if I stayed. I was supposed to produce . . . that’s what you said. How can I produce for you if I’m not here?” Negan’s face contorted in anger and he pushed Lucille down into Rick’s face.  
Rick grunted, eyes squint shut as tears leaked out from them and Lucille dug into his cheekbone, splinters embedding in his skin as his bone creaked in pain. As dots popped before his eyelids, he choked out a whimper. Negan growled, “I said Shut Up Rick. Or do I need to hit you one more time for you to get that message? But to answer your question. . .” he knelt down and grabbed Rick’s chin, jerking the man around as he moved Lucille away to just hover over near Rick’s face as he was forced to stare at the monster above him, “You will produce for me and I’ll fucking decide how. Whether it’s entertainment, whether it’s items, hell whether it’s just some goddamn stress relief or batting practice, you will produce for me. But it won’t be with your fucking pussy-ass group. See I know that even though you have made some dumbass decisions, you’re smart Rick. Sure it would take some time, but given the chance you would rise against me with these motherfuckers. Hell, you already said you’re gonna goddamn fucking kill me. So I’m taking you with me, just like you said I could. Consider it a security measure. And just to make sure you don’t try anything fucking stupid where we’re going. . .Remember Carl?” Negan leaned down and breathed on Rick’s ear as he whispered to him, his sweaty musk flooding Rick’s senses. Rick knew that from there on, the smell alone would be enough to make him sick because of all the dark things that had come into his already dangerous life with it.  
“The rule for your pals here applies to you and him. If you irritate me or vex me to the point where I deem your actions punishment worthy, you will get punished. But if I so choose Carl will get punished too and trust me, by the time I’m done with him, you’ll wish you never stepped out of line. He would too, but you know, he’d be dead.” The words chilled Rick to the bone, and he glanced at his still unconscious son lying sprawled on the ground. “So when I say Shut Up, what are you gonna fucking do Ricky?” Negan slurred, pulling away and locking his gaze with Rick’s own, the threat lurking in his eyes daring Rick to say anything other than what the Leader wanted. Rick gulped, licking his split lips and ignoring the copper taste that lingered on them, “I’ll shut up.” Negan smiled and nodded, “Now there we fucking go.” Standing up quickly, he grabbed the collar of Rick’s shirt, and Rick almost heaved again as he was hoisted up and forced to stagger into a standing position, attempting to stand on his swollen ankle and nearly falling over.  
“Now!” Negan shouted to the others as he began to back Rick up quickly towards the van holding Daryl. Rick grunted, and as he almost fell backwards due to the force of the man before him he grabbed onto the Leader’s arm, praying that the man didn’t punish him later for that action. He wouldn’t have grabbed Negan at all if he wasn’t so desperate for some form of physical support. Luckily, Negan didn’t seem to notice or care as he addressed the group. “I know this will be goddamn tough, hell before all you motherfuckers start producing I would SUGGEST you pick a new leader! After all, Rick here will be having to fill a new fucking position. One that I hope he fills a bit better than the last candidate.” The doors to the van opened behind Rick and with a shove from the monster before him he was tossed in, slamming on his cracked rib on the metal van floor and wheezing as the doors were shut with Negan snarling at the monsters behind him, “Bind him and gag him,” before Rick was shut into the dim light of the van, his mind trying to catch up once more with what was going on.  
That was for naught as two pairs of hands instantly were on him, one pair shoving a piece of smelly, dirty cloth between his jaws and tying it behind his bleeding head as the the other quickly wrapped coarse rope around his wrists and ankles before both pairs slammed him against the side of the van. Rick flung his head back, yelling around the gag before his head slumped to be hanging forward. Slowly he lifted his head up to stare at the surprised, bound and gagged Daryl sitting across from him. He had been longing for his friend’s presence just moments prior, but in no way had he longed for it to be like this. Daryl had taken a nasty blow to the head in his struggles before, a side of his forehead split open from the butt of a gun, and yet the Archer was more horrified by Rick’s appearance than he was worried about his own circumstances. “Rick?” he tried to say around his gag. Suddenly the butt of the gun came flying out of nowhere and slammed into Daryl’s stomach, making the other man lurch forward and lean over the butt, groaning at the hit. Turning their heads, the two stared at the two Saviors who had bound them up. Both men had bald heads and various tattoos, wearing dark hoodies and pants and holding rifles as they knelt behind the two seats that made up the barrier between them and the front of the van.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you all think? Are we excited for more? Disgusted by something that happened? Excited and disgusted and worried? Please don't hate me for leaving you on a cliffhanger of a scene, I assure you the next chapter will be up soon! Three words: CAR RIDE TIME! But seriously, please let me know what you all think, I welcome any constructive criticism and compliments!


	3. One Uncool Car Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A car ride to the Sanctuary. Simple, rather uneventful. Maybe some radio playing, chit chatting, napping? But a car ride with Saviors? Rick and Daryl could never have understood how uncool that shit is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As some of you might have noticed, I added a few extra warnings to this fanfic. Those are not meant to deter anyone from reading this story, they are, as their category name would suggest, warnings. I never like reading anything that I think is going to go one way then takes a sharp u-turn and goes the complete opposite, and I don't expect you to like it either. I want to appreciate anyone and everyone who has read this fic so far, who has left kudos on this fic so far, and who has left wonderful comments on this fic so far. It is because of that appreciation that I want to make everything clear and straight: this fic is not going to get better until it gets a lot worse. Is Rick going to live? Yes, he is. We know that from the Prologue, which happens after all of the events of this fic take place. Is it going to have physical torture in it? You better believe it. This is Brutal Negan, a man who wants to take everything and either kill or break down others to meet his own ends. Is this fic going to have sexual abuse in it? Yes, that is the way I see it going. Is this fic solely about the sexual and physical abuse? No, it is more based on the psychological effects that the mind can have as it attempts to adapt to the abuse. Is this fic going to have a happy, loving ending, or is it simply going to end? It is simply going to end. Because not all stories are going to have happy endings-although I love the ones that do. Some are going to be about the darkness of humanity, and those are the kind that I seek to write. I like to try to push the limits of the human psyche, to portray it in an artful way as I push the limits of myself as a writer. Now, again I am not saying this to offend or deter, but I just want to make sure that no one reads this fic and gets upset by it. That being said, I appreciate and love all of the support guys! I have taken this chapter and made it as eventful a car ride as I can! Enjoy!

One of the men looked at both prisoners with cold blue eyes, “Here’s how this is gonna go,” he muttered, taking out a dirty yellow note pad and slapping it on the floor of the van while his accomplice pulled out a black sharpie, his dark eyes watching the two of them as he popped off the cap of the marker and quickly scrawled two words at the top of the sheet. He was the next to speak, “For every movement or sound you make, Dee and I are going to make a tick mark on this sheet here. Every tick mark is going to contribute to a sort of punishment orchestrated by the big boss man out there. Understood? You pricks are allowed to move to answer our questions, by the way.” Rick breathed hard through his nose and nodded slowly, Daryl doing the same. It was ridiculous, the task set before them, but they were in no place to explain how performing it would be impossible.   
Dee smirked, “Good, you guys aren’t quite as dumb as you look.” “But they are dumb,” Dark Eyes chuckled. “So fucking stupid,” Dee snickered back. Rick closed his eyes, the pain radiating through his body seeming to agree with him. Every part of him seemed to scream at him that he had been an idiot to get himself and his group in this situation.  
After a few moments there was a bang on the side of the van right behind Rick making him jerk, tensing as intuition told him just who and what the cause of it was. The man who Negan had looked to before for Daryl’s name slid into the front seat, looking over his shoulder and smiling at the two bound men, “Everyone comfy? Good!” With that he turned back around and there was a pause before the van jerked to life and Rick grunted, catching himself on his hands to avoid falling on his side as the van began to bump along, leaving the rest of their group behind. The sounds of the sharpie against the paper met Rick’s ears and he groaned, closing his eyes and bracing before twisting around and slamming his wounded back against the metal wall behind him in an attempt to keep himself still as Daryl grunted and attempted to stay upright too. Thinking his current position might work for the ride, Rick allowed himself to relax for a moment, right before another bump tossed him onto his side, his bound hands flying out to slam palm first into the van floor to keep his head away from it.  
Gazing at his tied up hands pressed against the van floor, Rick wheezed out around the gag as his injured rib moaned from being slammed against the side of the vehicle along with the rest of him. “You can stay like that if you want,” Dark Eyes chuckled, “We’ll have to add another tick mark for that wheezing shit though.” Rick just sighed, closing his eyes as the van rocked back and forth, the sound of the sharpie like a funeral knell for him. His body tensed just at the thought of the punishment those flippantly placed ticks would lead to.  
For what felt like an eternity they kept moving like that, the Savior up front humming  
along to some song playing on the van’s disc player while the two Saviors in the back of the van watched Rick and Daryl attempt to stay still. Roughly a half hour into the trip Dee pulled out an old battered box of Menthols, taking one out and offering another to his comrade. Together the two men had filled the back of the van with their smoke, making the prisoners’ eyes water and making them choke on the material tied in their mouths as the smoke entered their noses and strangled their lungs. Any time they did so, another tick mark would be put down, specifically by Dee as he would take the marker form Dark Eyes, the blue eyed man smirking as he did so. It made the former Sheriff wonder if the idea behind the cigarettes had been to make them earn more tick marks. But as the two Saviors continued through the box and the man up front let down a window as he drove, all the brunette could do was stare at the van floor, hoping that they ran out of the things soon and try to refrain from coughing as much as possible.   
Occasionally Rick would glance at Daryl through the smoky atmosphere filling the van. Each time he did so, he found the Archer gazing right back at him, having taken on a similar body position as Rick after he had fallen a few times as they’d hit bumps on the road. Even though he continued to make the effort-he couldn’t just not look at Daryl during the ride-each time their eyes connected, it filled Rick with more guilt. Even if he could try to tell himself a million times that they had attacked Negan’s men to help Hilltop, the inescapable truth was that it had ultimately been his decision for Alexandria to go on the offensive and alert the dark king that was Negan of their presence. While at the time they thought they were slaying a beast, now it was clear to Rick that going forth and attacking the Savior outpost was like attacking the Grecian Hydra but with a small variation: when he cut off the head that had harassed Hilltop, instead of getting two more heads, it was a very big, very dangerous head that had come at him. And that head attacked viciously and from what Rick could tell it would attack again and again and again.   
After over an hour of driving he heard a heavy sigh from Dee and glanced at the two Saviors set to watch them. They had been talking quietly to themselves between drags and passing back and forth a rusty metal flask Dark Eyes had pulled out from his pocket. Dee seemed irritated:apparently they had run out of cigarettes. The dark gaze he cast Rick and Daryl as he spoke those words reaffirmed what Rick had assumed: he was more irritated that he couldn’t torture them with the tick mark causing white sticks than he was about not being able to smoke. That fact only reaffirmed to Rick that he wanted to stay as far from that man as possible.  
Dark Eyes chuckled and reached behind himself to pull out a yellowed white binder filled with sheets of tattered paper, “Calm down ya bastard. We still got this,” he held up the flask and shook it, the liquid inside sloshing around, “And this. And they got enough tick marks from your weak ass idea of torture.” Dee smirked, putting out the last of the cigarettes on the van floor, adding the butte to the pile of little white stubs that he’d made beside him, “Weak huh?” “You and your idea to make them hack up a lung? Sorry man, but that doesn’t hold a goddamn candle to Negan in the pain department,” Dark Eyes chuckled, opening up the binder, “But enough of that, let’s get started back on this shit. Where’d we leave off, number 28? Might as well spend this fucking ride working on the next one.” At that the man up front tilted his head back, “Hey you fucks. Don’t you damn forget Negan gave you a job to-”   
“Oh don’t fucking worry about it!” Dee chuckled, revealing busted and chipped teeth as he shot Rick a cruel grin, “Ol’ Pops over there’s so beat to hell he won’t try anything and Robin Hood over here. . .” he nodded at Daryl, whose teeth instantly gritted around the gag as the man continued, glowering at the man and clearly not liking his idea of a nickname, “Or ex-Robin Hood, since Dwight took his crossbow. Anyway, this guy ain’t gonna try anything, cuz if he does. . .” He held up his handgun, twisted it around, and put the butt of it in Rick’s direction, “The old man gets a few more blows to roll his head around with, since we can’t feed ‘im any bullets. . .” he finished with a look of pure disappointment on his face, like a kid that had had his Christmas present taken from him.   
“Fine, they just better not get out of hand. Otherwise Negan’s gonna rain hell down on you motherfu-” the man up front began. “Hell Simon, they’re already fucking tied up,” Dark Eyes muttered, rolling his eyes and shifting the notebook into his lap as Dee put the gun away, “Maybe you’re just worried we’ll win the crossword before you.” “You know I don’t do that shit,” Simon muttered, then lifted something to his mouth. Rick thought it was a sandwich of some kind as the man munched on it. “Only cuz you can’t keep up,” Dark Eyes chuckled as Dee pulled out a plastic bag of chips and ripping the bag open shoved a handful of them into his mouth. As Dee began munching on the chips, Rick’s stomach seemed to seize up and he groaned, hanging his head and hoping it would keep quiet. The last thing he needed was for it to start growling and possible earn him more tick marks. “Shut the fuck up Dum,” Simon snapped, the man’s jab getting to him a little.  
As Dum shrugged off Simon’s comment, Dee began to read what was on the paper, “Alright, 1 down, 5 letters. . . Stately home.” “Manor,” Dum remarked, scrawling into the book as he grabbed a handful of chips for himself. At that Rick and Daryl glanced at each other, each sharing the same look of disbelief. Here they were, captives of a cult of killers, and two of said killers were doing a crossword puzzle? What the hell was that?  
For another hour he and Daryl sat watching the two guys have arguments and discussions as they attempted the word puzzle. “So number 10 across, 7 letters. Justice. . .” Dee murmured. As the two men pondered amongst themselves what the word could be, Rick sucked in a deep breath, letting it out in a groan as his dick hardened and burned at the same time. The brunette bowed his head, glancing at his crotch, knowing fully well just what was causing it to be that way. But how the hell was he supposed to let the men know? Or was he not supposed to let them know? Was he supposed to just go on the van floor? Was that one of Negan’s ways to get to him? It was as he pondered this that he noticed Daryl shifting his thighs across from him and realized his friend had to do the same thing he did.  
Dee was the first to notice Daryl’s movements, “What the hell-?” “I told you to watch them,” Simon called back. “We fucking are!” Dum snapped, “Damn it, Robin Hood here is shifting around like he’s got ants in his goddamn pants. Either that or he has to take a- damn man, you gotta take a fucking piss?!” Daryl breathed hard and held his head down in a form of ashamed affirmation. Dee smirked and leaned forward, sliding his hand down to Daryl’s crotch, squeezing and making the Archer growl in his throat before shooting Dee a look that-if looks could kill-should have made the thug a dead man. “Yeah, you’re probably ready to burst like a fucking water balloon aren’t you? Well go ahead man, take your goddamn piss. See how many fucking tick marks that shit’ll make!” the Savior taunted, glee filling his words. “Fuck no,” Simon called back, “If those two pricks are going to piss it’s gonna be outside this goddamn van.”  
Dee rolled his eyes, sliding his hand away from Daryl as he sat back against the front seat, “Damn Simon, don’t be such a pussy. They could clean it up afterwards.” “No way, gotta make a run to Hilltop right after this shit. Negan’s orders. And I am not going with piss sloshing around in my van. I’ll let the others know we need to stop. Does old man back there need to go too?” At that Dum looked at Rick who nodded slightly, pressing his thighs together and praying that the man’s hands stayed clear of his own crotch. Dum appeared to be the less sadistic of the two men sitting with them, but he was also a Savior who had just watched Rick’s friends get their heads bashed in and Rick get beaten. That was enough reason not to trust the man. Luckily the man didn’t make a move towards him, and Rick was grateful for that.  
“Yeah man, I think this prick’s gotta go too,” Dum called to the front. Simon nodded, spoke on some sort of radio, and in no time Rick and Daryl were feeling the van slow to a stop. Rick wished he didn’t feel so relieved by that fact. Sure he would finally get to piss, but everything had been some form of twisted with the Saviors and Negan before, and it was sure to be that way this time. He grunted, jolting slightly as the van stopped, and waited in silence as he prepared as best he could for whatever might come next.  
The van doors swung open, flooding the dark van with light that made Daryl and Rick shut their eyes against the sudden invasion. Dee and Dum as one got up, and grabbing the two guys’ shoulders, pulled/pushed Rick and Daryl out of the van, forcing them to stand in the blinding sunlight surrounding them. Daryl merely grunted beside him but Rick couldn’t hold back the moan as his aching, sore, injured muscles and bones were forced to move out of the position they’d held for so long. Gazing at the ground for a moment, shifting his weight off of his hurt ankle, he sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm himself in preparation for whatever might happen next. Once a few breaths had come and gone in that vain attempt and he had felt some joints pop in ways they shouldn’t, the man lifted his head and saw the pine trees surrounding them on the old dirt road. A few walkers could be seen far off in the trees, but those were far from the immediate threat who was imposing on his situation.   
Most of the other Saviors were still in their vehicles, but-of course-one man stood before them, his boots planted firmly in the dirt, the head of Lucille pressed into the earth as he leaned forward on her, gripping her handle tightly. Just the sight of her made his body ache even more. Diverting his eyes from her, he focused on Negan, waiting on the man to address them and hoping that he could get through this with little pain.   
Negan smirked at both of them, “Told ya you’d be pissin’ your pants soon enough, now didn’t I?” Walking forward, he twirled Lucille at the end of his arm, her swiping dangerously close to both Rick and Daryl’s crotches, making both men instinctively arch their hips a little away from her and the man wielding her, “But you assholes just couldn’t wait until we got to our destination, you just had to go RIGHT GODDAMN NOW!” he shouted the last, leaning towards Rick so that he got more of the impact of the shout. It caused his already sore head to ring as he winced and closed his eyes.   
Lucille was suddenly up near Rick’s cheek, and he shut his eyes tighter, tears leaking out as her barbs lightly grazed his face, his breathing becoming quicker at her presence. Chancing a pleading glance at Negan, hoping that the man wouldn’t do worse than that, he saw the satisfied smirk on the Savior leader’s face that showed just how much Negan was enjoying this. “Well,” Negan purred, tilting his head to the side, “I guess when ya gotta fucking go, ya gotta fucking go, now don’t ya?” Turning, whipping Lucille away, he walked a few steps away from Rick and Daryl, tossing a hand up and waving it flippantly at Dee and Dum, “Guys, drop their pants. They’ve already been kept waiting.”   
Rick jerked his head down, staring as two firm hands grabbed at his pants’ belt from behind, quickly undoing it, his button, and his zipper before gripping the hems of his pants along with his boxers and jerking them down to his ankles. Feeling his face go red with embarrassment at effectively being pantsed in front of so many of the enemy, he looked over and saw the same thing happening to Daryl, who grunted and tried to elbow Dee away.   
“Hey!” Negan shouted. Rick shot his head around and stared at the Savior leader as he swung Lucille around to point at Daryl, “Man’s trying to help you the fuck out. Now you accept that and move on, or Lucille here is going to have some more fun with Rick, and by the looks of things. . .” he turned to Rick, smirked, and shook his head, “Ol’ Papa Bear can’t take much more right now.” Rick shuddered around the gag, a tremor running through him at Negan’s words. He didn’t want Negan to be right, not after all that had happened. But he was. Rick couldn’t take much more of Lucille, he knew that much. He prayed Daryl would comply, at least for the moment. For both of their sakes.  
“Ok, so, which one of you sorry shits is going to start us off huh?” Negan chuckled, “Rick?” he swung Lucille around and brushed her just slightly along Rick’s aching member. Rick whimpered, eyes squinted, the action irritating the puncture wounds still along his dick and balls from the hit before. “Tell me, is your dick naturally that fucking big or is Rick Jr just a bit too hurt by my girl here? I shoulda warned you, she plays pretty goddamn rough,” Negan rumbled from low in his throat, leaning closer to the former Sheriff, malice playing with mischief in his obsidian eyes. Rick merely shuddered in response, bowing his head and hoping Negan didn’t really expect a response. Negan took a step back, smirking, and turned to Daryl, “Or will it be Daryl? Mr. Arrows? Cuz I gotta tell ya’ll, one of you motherfuckers has gotta start us off so that we can get on with it and be done with this piss party and get back on the fucking road. So who’s it gonna fucking be?” Daryl growled from low in his throat, eyes narrowed as he glowered at Negan.   
Negan frowned hard back at the Archer, “Now I did warn you about not fucking behaving, but it seems that that hasn’t quite sunk in yet. Maybe an example of what I mean is what you goddamn need. . .You see, if you fucking piss me off. . .” Rick sucked in a deep breath, eyes widening, and was barely able to brace himself before Lucille came fast and hard, slamming into his crotch. His crystal eyes shut tight as he screamed around the gag, staggering back and crying out as he stepped on his hurt ankle, falling to his knees with the bat’s barbs scratching and ripping at his dick, piss surging forth over his thighs and onto her upon impact. Daryl shouted around his gag and lunged but Dee and Dum held him back as Negan let himself be tugged closer to the ground so that Lucille remained in Rick’s crotch area. “I warned ya, Daryl. You can’t say I didn’t warn ya,” Negan tsked, frowning at the man, “Now look what you made me do to poor Rick. And Lucille here, now she’s got piss all over her pretty surface. Aw well, at least we finally fucking got started. . .” pulling Lucille away and causing Rick to moan as the action made her tear at his skin more, the man wiped her across Rick’s face, making him groan. As her barbs scraped him and piss entered the wounds making them burn, tears formed at the corners of Rick’s eyes and he bowed his head, heaving an exhausted sigh.“Way to go Rick. At least someone is trying to make this fucking work.” Rick glanced up at Negan, seeing the man giving him a cold smirk from where he stood up over the former Sheriff, and lowered his tear filled blue eyes back to the ground, breathing out a weak sob around the soaked gag.   
Chuckling at the man, Negan turned to Daryl, “Now, unless you want me to hit RIck a few more times, you’re gonna grab your little arrow in your hands and aim for the goddamn ground. Understand?” Daryl glanced down at Rick, apology in his eyes as he gazed at his pain filled leader and nodded. This was Glenn all over again, yet somehow worse as Negan drew out Rick’s torture. Sighing, he gripped his dick and in no time his yellow stream pattered against the earth at his feet. “There we go,” Negan slurred, smirking into Daryl’s face, “Wasn’t that hard, now was it?” Turning to Dee and Dum he smirked, “What are ya waitin’ for. Pull Arrow-Boy’s pants up and get Papa Bear off the ground. We got more ground to cover, and I DO plan on getting home by nightfall.”  
As Dee yanked up Daryl’s pants, Rick was quickly hauled to his own feet, moaning as he was forced to stand on his twisted ankle and piss ran down his legs from his thighs. Hanging his head he watched as Dum pulled up his pants, just before a gloved hand tilted his chin up and Negan’s face flooded his vision, that Cheshire grin still in place. Rick tensed under the hand, fear flooding his eyes as he gazed into Negan’s obsidian depths. “For your sake I hope we have no more fucking interruptions before we get where we’re going. You look sorry as shit,” the Leader murmured, before patting Rick hard on his cheek and turning, waltzed away. Rick didn’t know what he had been expecting, but he sighed, slumped forward and allowed himself to be guided back into the van, relief flooding him that he hadn’t gotten it.   
Rick felt his body tense up as they stopped yet again after he heard Simon talking on a walkie talkie to someone who he thought was Negan.He had to stop himself from falling forward with the force of the brakes and heard another two ticks being put down, hearing Daryl fall and slam into the van floor. Considering that he had been able to catch himself on his hands, he figured he should feel lucky, but the pain he’d been immersed in kept any feelings like that at bay. Glancing over, he saw his friend get up with blood streaming from a new cut across his forehead, his entire face beginning to swell.   
He turned to the men as Dum moved closer, pulling a water bottle from behind him. “Don’t try anything,” the man hissed, eyes locking with Rick’s own, “I’m gonna take that gag out and give you some water. That is ALL that is about to happen. Nod if you understand.” Rick nodded quickly, the thought of even hot water comforting to him, and had the gag slid out from between his teeth. He breathed out, happy to get the rough material out of his strained jaws. Sucking in the stale air of the van, happy for even that to be filling his lungs, he had a moment of relief only to have the top of the bottle pushed against his teeth, Dum firmly holding true to his word that that was ALL that would happen. Latching his lips on it, he tried his best to take long, slow sips so that what he was drinking wouldn’t come right back up. Something told him the men wouldn’t take his gag out again, no matter how nasty he made it. Hell, they’d probably laugh at him as he wretched around the material. Glancing at Daryl who was receiving similar treatment, he knew the other was doing the same as he was.  
Once the water was gone, the men pulled the bottles away and slid the gags back in and Rick glanced at the front window of the van, seeing buildings. Were they at their destination? He didn’t think they’d be giving the two of them water in the van if they were. . . So why had they stopped at some town? Dee, who looked confused himself, asked Simon why they had stopped. Simon laughed, saying that Negan had to make a quick “grocery run”. Rick sighed, slumping forward. Whatever that meant, he felt like it wouldn’t bode well for him. After a few minutes of waiting the van pulled away from its spot without warning and Rick groaned as he shifted yet again. Two more ticks.  
The hot van floor’s ridges rubbed up and down against Rick’s temple as he slowly awoke. He didn’t know how long he’d been asleep, or even when he fell asleep, but some movement out of the ordinary had awoken him, he knew that. Looking up from his spot on the floor, he saw Daryl up and on his knees, and figured the other man had felt it wise to risk moving to see where he was. To him that meant one thing: they had finally arrived. As he struggled to get back up into a seated position, wincing at the itchy stickiness that had formed between his skin and his pants where he’d pissed on himself, Rick saw the two men make even more tick marks on the sheet, which to the brunette’s chagrin was quite full. Had they counted the movements he’d made while he was asleep too? Could he not catch a break even for those?  
Turning his head, getting on his knees, he went to straighten his back, sucking in a deep breath as he did so, various parts of his spine popping and screaming in pain. Sleeping on the hard van floor had decidedly NOT done wonders for the hits he’d taken from Lucille. Turning his head, he looked out the van windows as best he could and was just barely able to see a tall chain link fence with a huge gate ahead of them, numerous police barricades and spikes with walkers either chained to them or tossed upon them surrounding them. The sky was a mixture of gray and purple as night had begun to fall upon the area, and behind the gate was a huge warehouse. As he watched, the gate was opening for some of Negan’s trucks to go through. He felt his entire body tense up, knowing all too well before Simon said it that the rest of his painful existence lay beyond that fence, “That’s right ya pricks, we’re here. Welcome to the rest of your motherfucking lives. . .”  
With that, hands grabbed both Daryl and Rick before Dee and Dum slammed them down on the van floor. Rick cried out around the gag, eyes shut tight as the rib that had broken before dug into his lung, almost puncturing it and his nose snapped like a twig. Dum flung the burlap sack over his head, leaving him gagged and in the smelly bag. “Sorry kiddos, you won’t have those shits off until you get to your new digs,” Simon laughed.   
After a few moments of being held down as the van maneuvered into the compound, Rick heard the lock of the doors turning just before he was shoved near them, the ridges of the van slamming across his front and making him moan in pain as another pair of hands, seemingly out of nowhere, grabbed him as Dum took out a knife and sliced through the rope at his ankles, freeing them so that he could attempt to walk on his healthy one and the one that had been twisted. From what he could hear, Daryl was getting the same treatment, moments before the two were hoisted out of the van.  
As he was forced to stand in the chilly evening air he tilted his head down, trying to ignore the blood streaming from his now broken nose over his lips and teeth and down his chin to drip onto the earth beneath him. “Here you are sir,” he heard Dee walk past them before the rustling of papers met his ears. “Damn, wiggle worms aren’t they!” Negan laughed from just a few feet in front of them before footfalls were heard as the sadistic man stalked closer. From what Rick could hear he couldn’t tell who they were coming for, but he had a sickening feeling it would be for him.  
“Damn Rick, do ya ever learn,” Negan tsked. Rick didn’t even hear the wind singing before Lucille made contact. Rick cried out behind the gag as the strike came to his head, hard enough to make his head spin as Lucille pulled away from him, her barbs tugging at the bag. Reeling from the blow, he staggered to the side, unluckily onto his bad foot. Moaning, trying hard to remain standing he breathed hard around the gag, shaking and hoping the assault was over just before the next hit came, Lucille slamming behind his good foot’s knee, her barbed wire tearing into his pants and ripping them open just before drawing blood from the sensitive skin underneath.   
Rick stumbled forward with the strike’s force, his knees buckling before he was in the dirt, the stones there cutting into his pants and skin. He hung his head, breathing hard as he felt Negan leaning over him, blood seeping from the fresh wounds on the side of his head as even more streamed from his nose. “You know, after all that’s fucking happened, Idda thought you wouldn’t have enough goddamn energy to earn so many marks, Rick. I figured that not moving would be a good fucking recovery time for you. But if you don’t want to rest, hell who am I to fucking stop you? After all, Lucille is just having the fucking time of her life drinking from you, making you goddamn bleed.”   
Rick gave a shuddering breath behind the gag, his head still radiating with pain, and shifted his weight slightly as he knelt in the dirt, expecting one more hit at least. Instead the presence he felt above him pulled away, shouting, “DWIGHT! Take Daryl to the Hole! He’ll pay for his tick marks later. Simon, take some men and go to Hilltop. Dee, Dum, grab Rick and follow me. It’s time to get him acquainted with his new job.” Moments later, two firm hands grabbed Rick by his armpits, hoisting the man up as he grunted from the treatment and heard the scuffling Daryl gave at being taken away from him before he was led away. Moving forward with them, he felt his heart sink even lower. What the hell was in store for him now?   
The men walked behind Negan, the group moving in silence as they made their way to their new destination, moving far from the fence to the point where the sounds of walkers gave way to the sounds of crickets and cicadas. As Rick’s mind lingered on the transition, Negan began to whistle from up in front, a joyful tune that Rick felt was far too inappropriate for his situation, yet perhaps perfect for the other man’s own. What caused injury to Rick only caused joy for Negan, that much had become clear, and there was nothing he felt he could do about it. He sighed and hung his head, trying to force himself to just keep moving forward, his legs working mechanically as he made his way up wooden steps and onto some hollow sounding planks. “Welcome home,” Negan suddenly hissed and Rick jumped as the bag was jerked off and tossed aside, his face flooding with that of Negan, illuminated in the orange glow of buzzing electric porch lantern lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you guys think? No flamers, please, but constructive comments and critiques are welcome! Next chapter should be posted soon!


	4. Shutting That Shit Down!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Rick has finally made it to Negan's house. What does this mean? It means it's time for him to learn just what his new role in life is, and just what the consequences are for misbehaving in that role. It's all made very clear and simple: Misbehave enough, and Negan will SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sure that due to my Author's Note in the past chapter I have without a doubt lost some readers. But I regret nothing regarding that warning (after all I would never want anyone to feel deceived into reading something they aren't going to enjoy) and to all of you who wish to continue to read my fanfic, I am happy that you are continuing with me as I post chapters! That's the kind of thing that just. . . tickles my tities, to paraphrase Negan. So, with this chapter, we are due in for a very violent introduction into what Rick's life might be like. Warning: dismemberment mentioning, nudity, and a whole lot of Lucilling. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Negan smirked at him and Rick’s eyes moved around as he took in the porch of the Victorian. The wood of the house was painted a clean white color whilst the shutters and trim were a deep hunter green. The large door of the house was hunter green as well, inlaid with an oval stained glass display of some beautiful flowers with a Lucille going up the center of the picture. From the two massive double windows of the porch hung gorgeous white window boxes holding plants that were flourishing well.  
From what he could tell the place was incredibly well kept, with even some white rocking chairs and a large wooden swing completing the idyllic environment. All that was missing was the dog on the front porch steps and the kids playing out front in the yard and it could have been the set for any happy country scene in a movie. Through the window to his left he saw a lounge like room with many attractive women in black dresses and lingerie moving about and talking within. Some were drinking and most were sitting around on the plush furniture of the room as if they were bored. As if a zombie apocalypse wasn’t going on outside their walls. The whole home seemed to scream an irony that even Michonne’s descriptions of Woodbury didn’t match. He didn’t know if it was that this place felt more be comfortable than Woodbury or if Negan was so much more violent than the Governor that caused the greater sense of contrast.  
As Rick watched the women a gloved hand gripped his chin and his head was turned so that once again he faced Negan head on. He diverted his eyes to his boots, not wanting to meet the man’s smug gaze.“Dammit, ya’ll fucking broke his nose too? This is just not your goddamn day is it Rick?” Negan murmured. Rick heaved a deep sigh around the gag, thinking that that was one of the biggest understatements he’d ever heard. “It was an accident,” Dee said defensively, “Can’t help it if the prick’s not tough.” Negan made a humming sound, twirling Lucille about slowly at the end of his arm and Rick’s eyes darted over to watch as the bat swung, hoping that he’d get a few more moments of reprieve before getting acquainted with her again.  
Negan smiled, clearly enjoying the look of apprehension the brunette was giving his weapon as he murmured, “Yes, I guess you are right about that. Let Dr. Carson know that he’ll be seeing a new patient tomorrow.”  
Rick’s eyes moved back to Negan’s as the man continued to smile at him, confusion filling his crystal depths at Negan’s words. Dr. Carson? But he was at Hilltop, why would Negan take Rick there if he just got him here? Shouldn’t he have just stayed in the van with Simon? Go to Hilltop with him? Negan chuckled, perceiving his confusion as surprise regarding him offering that Rick go see a doctor, “Hell, I’m not a total fucking monster Rick. Besides, I can’t fucking keep beating up on you if you’re fucking dead. . . Well I could, but it wouldn’t be much goddamn fun.” Tightening his grip before releasing Rick’s chin, the man then turned and pressed the doorbell button set to the right of the door, “And I do love beating you, you sorry shit.” Rick hung his head, gazing at his torn shirt that clung to his bloody, scratched and bruised chest and stomach. His dick still hurt like hell from the two hits it had taken and he was 99.9% certain Lucille had taken some of the outer skin from it on that second hit. The aches in his back, ribs, and knees along with all of that were proof enough to support Negan’s claim. If he didn’t get help soon, he WOULDN’T be alive for much longer. He just hoped that that help came sooner than the next hit from Lucille, but he doubted it would.  
At that moment the door was opened and Rick glanced up over Negan’s shoulder to see a gorgeous brunette with long hair swung to the side open the door for Negan, her dark eyes glancing at Rick before focusing on the Savior Leader. “Hi, Sherry, miss me?” Negan drawled and with Lucille in hand held his arms open expectantly to the woman who nodded, albeit stiffly, and walked into his embrace, wrapping her long slender arms around his back as he hugged her whilst being careful to keep Lucille away from her smooth skin. Rick blinked as a look of what appeared to be disdain flickered in her eyes with Negan’s own eyes not on hers-her chin resting over the killer’s shoulder as she hugged him- before she closed them and turning gave the Leader a kiss on the neck. As she pulled away, she was about to speak when Negan chuckled, “Fuck, sweetheart. I think we can do a bit goddamn better than that shit.”  
Gripping her neck in his bare hand, he pulled her to him and locked lips with her. Making a grunting noise, the woman closed her eyes tightly and returned the deep kiss as Negan rubbed her cheekbone with his rough thumb. Rick supposed that to most the way she was closing her eyes so firmly as she kissed him would portray passion. But given the look that had passed over her eyes before, Rick would guess that she was enduring the kiss more than she was enjoying it. Trying to please the man before her in spite of her anger. Finally pulling away Negan grinned and looked over his shoulder at Rick, “Hard to find a good bitch these days. Luckily I have quite a few gorgeous ones in there. Big titties and tight asses, and all are here by their fucking choice, of course. . .” he turned and smirked at the brunette who he still had his hand on, “Ain’t that right doll?”  
Licking her lips, she nodded, “Of course, Negan.” He chuckled and patted her cheek, and she glanced at Rick, nodding in his direction, “We didn’t know you’d be bringing anyone back with you. . . is he your new pe-” “Shhh!” Negan suddenly remarked with a chuckle, putting his thumb on her lips, “Yeah you’re fucking right, but Ricky boy here doesn’t know what the hell is going on yet. And I kind of want it to be a goddamn surprise til he REALLY finds out. Like a . . .” Negan turned his head and gave the bound man a malicious smile, his eyes almost going fully dark with his evil intent, most of the light leaving them, “Birthday present.”  
Sherry pulled away from Negan’s grip and Rick saw some sort of pity in her eyes as she looked at him briefly before turning her cold gaze to Negan, “You’re an asshole.” Negan, still looking at Rick, smirked, “I KNOW!” He turned to Sherry, “And you fucking love me anyway. So how fucked up does that make YOU? I mean, other than how fucked up I already goddamn make ya,” he laughed at that, bucking his hips towards her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer, pressing his own crotch against the crotch area of her dress. Putting a hand on his chest to steady herself, Sherry frowned at Negan, tilting her head, “Very, I guess,” she remarked in a resigned tone.  
Negan chuckled, “Don’t act so down about it doll, that’s the reason you and all those other girls in there are living life so goddamn well. Now you tell them that I will catch up with them later, but I really need to get Rick here up to his new room before he falls down. Man’s taken some hell of a couple of hits today. It might take a while, but once I get him acquainted with what is expected of him, I’ll be back to take care of you all.” Sherry nodded, “Of course.”  
Casting one last look that said nothing but “I’m Sorry” to Rick, she gave Negan one more kiss on the cheek, hands gripping his shoulders. Chuckling, the man pulled her closer, turning his head and kissing her on her cheek as well, his hand sliding down slightly and grabbing her ass firmly through her dress. Rolling her eyes and turning on her heel, the woman walked firmly back into the house and to the living room where Rick saw her through the window speaking with the other girls, Negan slapping her hard and loud on the rump as she went, making her jump slightly. Some acted excited at the aspect of their Leaders’ return, but Rick couldn’t help but notice that some acted as if they couldn’t care less.  
“Damn that hot fucking bitch. Tanya is the best for a good blow, but Sherry is the best pussy I have EVER stuck my dick in,” Negan chuckled, “Now, come on,” the last two words were in a demanding growl as Negan turned and grabbed Rick by the arm before he jerked the man into the house. Rick grunted against the gag, slamming into the cream colored wall of the main hallway as he stumbled across the threshold, breathing hard through his nose as he tried to stay upright, Negan’s grip an iron clasp around his upper arm.  
The man gave him a moment to steady himself then marched further in, Dee and Dum following behind them. Rick panted against the cloth, struggling to keep up with the man, the rooms about him passing in blurs. He barely had time to take anything in, his eyes focusing on the burgundy carpet beneath him and his feet as they struggled across it. Twice his feet couldn’t keep up with Negan and they were dragged as he nearly fell on his face as the man made his way to an oak stairway that moved off to the right side from the main hall as the carpet continued on in its path to the back of the home.  
“Come on now, upsy daisy,” Negan remarked, jerking Rick’s arm as the man continued his quick pace up the staircase. Rick grunted around the gag, eyes watering at the pain in his injured ankle as he was forced to walk on it as he made his way up the stairs, both ankles banging on the lips of the stairs as he went and causing new pain to radiate through his shins. Once upstairs, Rick and Negan made their way down yet another hallway, heading straight for two large oak doors that, if Rick was keeping up with the geography of the house accurately, would lead to a room overlooking the front of the structure.  
Rick gulped, knowing that what Negan had wanted to be the surprise lay beyond those doors. Shutting his eyes tight and gritting his teeth around the gag he sucked in a deep breath through his broken nose as Negan paused before the door, letting go of Rick’s arm.  
As Rick opened eyes, Negan’s face was inches from his own, smiling at him like the cat who was about to pounce on the mouse, “Here’s your mother fucking surprise Birthday Boy. Now, I’m gonna leave that gag in your fucking mouth to start out with. Don’t want you freaking out on me until the preliminary speech has taken place. Don’t you fucking worry though, it’ll come out soon enough. Now, are we goddamn ready to see what’s behind Door number fucking 1?” Rick breathed hard and bowed his head, unable to bring himself to nod and hoping that that action of submission would be enough for Negan. He was exhausted, hungry, and filled with apprehension at what would come next. Right now he just hoped that Negan would get it over with. After all, there was no way to avoid what was coming. Why draw it out?  
“Well, ready or not, here we fucking go,” Negan chuckled, then turned and flung the two doors inward, “Hello Benny boy!” He marched straight through, swinging his arms out in a way of presenting the room beyond the doors, “We’re baaaack!” With a shove from behind, Rick stumbled in after him, coming to his knees on the red carpet, his hands flung out before him to stop him from falling flat on his face. “Have I fucking told you that I just love seeing you like that?” Negan remarked from above in a tone that from anyone else would have been endearing but with him just seemed more cold and sadistic. Rick merely gazed at the floor, hearing the men close the doors behind him before a large muscular hand was moving through his hair, stroking his scalp before Negan dug his fingers in deep, scraping against Rick’s skin and making the brunette wince. Chuckling before jerking his head back and painfully bending his prisoner’s neck, Negan gazed down at Rick with confident, malicious dark eyes, “Well take a goddamn look around Ricky. You won’t be seeing much outside this fucking room for a LONG time. Hell, you might NEVER see anything outside of this room again. So you might as fucking well get goddamn acquainted with it.” Rick grunted and blinked a few times to get the wetness in his eyes away before gazing about him, surprise flooding his crystalline depths once more at what he saw. He’d expected a dungeon or a torture room of sorts, and that was certainly not what he now saw.  
In the center of the room was a huge ornate dark oak desk, clawed feet carved into the ends of the legs and a wide front with an ornate “N” engraved in the center spread across its front. To his left was a smaller table, far less ornate than the desk and with piles of folders and papers strewn about upon it and two heavy wooden chairs set beside it. Above that was a detailed map of the area tacked to the wall, numerous colored lines and notes having been written upon it. The lines formed many different shapes with letters and lists tacked on top of them but three shapes stood out. There was one small place with a huge red “H” on it and a list tacked to the front of it, another slightly larger area with a huge blue “K” on it with a smaller list, and finally a large area circled in green with a huge green “A” on it. No list was tacked to it, and Rick knew all too well what that location and the H one were. He sighed, knowing that all the areas represented communities under Negan’s control.  
Rick glanced at a calendar posted beside the map, a large blank sheet of paper with perfectly drawn squares going across it with numerous dates scrawled within them. It was surprising he was able to make any numbers out, given the amount of notes on it. But he supposed that if Negan controlled so many groups, he would in fact need to have a lot of pick up dates and events scheduled and written there. He just hadn’t pegged the guy as a number puncher, so the calendar and map both were a bit of a surprise for him. Behind the large desk was a massive balcony with two french doors that led out into the night. To the right of the desk was a roaring fireplace, the fire caged in safely by a screen so that its flames merely illuminated the oriental rug laid out before the hearth, set between two puffy black arm chairs and a small oak table.  
Above the fireplace were two hooks set into the wall that were currently empty. In the corner of the room closest to the door on that side, Rick saw a picture of a beautiful woman, hanging on the wall right beside a wet bar and fridge. To the corner at his left Rick saw a large dark oak chest with a lock on the front pressed against the wall. While his stomach churned at what might be inside, he was stunned by the ornateness and elegance of the room as a whole. Once again, just like the rest of the home, it was a sharp contrast to the situation at hand, the chandelier dangling from the center of the ceiling, a rose metal masterpiece of leaves and vines with all of its bulbs shining bright finishing off the ironic ensemble.  
“Fucking nice, isn’t it?” Negan said in a guttural growl, releasing Rick’s hair and patting Rick’s shoulder firmly before he walked over to the wet bar, tucking Lucille under his arm and pouring himself a glass of whiskey. Tilting the glass, leaning his head back as he guzzled it down, he turned and smirked at Rick, smacking his lips and chuckling at the bewildered look on Rick’s face, “You weren’t fucking expecting this shit, were you? You’re fucking lucky, you know that? Goddamn special. My wives don’t even get to come in here unless in extremely special circumstances. You are about get to fucking be here all the time.” He turned and smiled at the room before them, reveling in the fact that he knew just how magnificent it appeared to be, “Course, you haven’t even seen the best fuckingpart yet. . . Goddamn shame.”  
He held Lucille up lazily, and pointed at Dee and Dum, “You two, bring Ricky over here. Drag him if he can’t walk. . . in fact, fucking drag him anyway. I LIKE seeing him on his goddamn knees.” Like clockwork two hands were under Rick’s arms and he grunted as he was forced to shuffle on his knees to keep up as the men dragged him over to Negan’s feet. As he was dropped before the Leader, he saw Lucille twirl before his face before pointing back towards Negan’s desk as the sadist slurred in a husky, deep voice, “Take a look at your new fucking home, Papa Bear.” Rick followed Lucille to where she was pointing, feeling a lump grow in his throat as he did so that doubled with what he saw between the desk and the double doors behind it before said lump dropped into his stomach. His heartbeat quickened as he sat there, eyes widening in fear.  
In a large wrought iron cage resembling a dog kennel with bars that were set INTO the floor, was an extremely pale man. The man was staring at him from where he had been lying on the dirty mattress behind the bars of the cage, his dark green eyes wide with surprise. They were dull eyes, not that much different from the corpses that Rick had had to examine from time to time at the morgue. Lifeless. “Now don’t you be goddamn rude, Benny Boy,” Negan growled out, and Rick glanced up to see a smirk on the man’s face, “Sit straight fucking up for Rick.” The man in the cage grunted, lowering his head, his long, unkempt brown hair falling over his face as he slowly moved his body to do as instructed. At first Rick thought the slow movements were due to malnutrition, but then Rick thought more about what he was seeing and decided that wasn’t the reason, or at least not the only one.  
The kid was underweight but not skeletal. Rather, Rick felt his slow movements were largely due to injury. Most of the man’s skin was scar tissue atop scar tissue, no doubt the handiwork of Lucille. Numerous odd shaped bulges were also all over his body, as if bones hadn’t been set right once they’d been broken. His face was full of scars and had a nose that looked like it had been broken three times at least. But perhaps the greatest drawback of all, Rick realized with a sickening lump in his stomach, was that the kid had no hands, merely knobs at the ends of his thin arms. Around his neck, pulled tight to the point where it looked like it was embedded in his skin, was a small silver chain. The end of the chain dangled from the man, but looking at the man’s crotch as he surveyed him, Rick sucked in a deep breath and clenched his own sticky thighs beneath his pants as he looked at the lack of anything dangling there on the man. Apparently “Benny Boy” had lost one of the things that had signified him as a boy in the first place.  
“Hell, don’t be goddamn rude, say hello Benny boy!” Negan laughed, sauntering away from Rick and up to the cage. The man in the cage merely continued to stare at Rick in surprise for a few moments, as if processing that the former Sheriff was staring, with eyes bloodshot and nose broken, right back at him, wishing that being gelded wasn’t the introduction Negan had been so excited about. Lucille slammed hard against the bars, making “Benny” jump and focus on Negan as Negan leaned down and growled, “I said don’t be fucking rude! I would think after all this goddamn time you would have gotten that fact through your fucking shithead of a skull! God knows I’ve beat you hard enough-to hell and back again- for SOME sense to get stuck the fuck up in there! Hell, I even took your fucking stick from you to take your goddamn attitude down a fucking notch! When I said to say hello, that wasn’t a fucking order so much as another goddamn lesson in fucking manners! Now, do you need Lucille to drive the point of that motherfucking lesson home, or can you figure out what to say your goddamn self?!”  
The smaller man-who had jerked back at the rattling bars-turned to Rick, and opened his mouth. . . before a spark ignited in his eyes and turning he spat at Negan’s boot, some fluid actually meeting its mark, “Dck oo o dn, fff e s eeer, no wha appn oo e.” As Negan growled and moved towards the narrow side of the cage that appeared to have a kennel door styled gate built into it, Rick breathed hard around the gag as the man in the kennel continued to glare at Negan, barring yellow and black teeth at the sadist. Rick wondered if the “black teeth” were teeth at all or if they were merely gaps in his mouth, souvenirs of Negan’s rage. He worried about what would happen next to the man though, because even though he couldn’t understand what the man had said, he understood all too well when the man was talking that there was one good reason for the impaired speech: the majority of the man’s tongue had been removed.  
Rick gritted his teeth, his entire body tensing as Negan, clearly knowing the man hadn’t spoken a simply stunted “Hello” to Rick, wrenched open the door. Grabbing the slender chain in his hand the Leader yanked the younger man out, sprawling him on the floor before slamming his boot down onto the middle of the man’s back and putting the end of Lucille against the back of his head. “You goddamn mothefucking little shit,” he growled before turning to Rick, rage in his dark eyes.  
Rick pressed himself against the wall his breaths coming in short, quick gasps, his heart slamming repeatedly against his injured rib cage, wanting to put as much space between him and the Savior Leader as possible. He had been hurt and sobbing before, but what he was watching now was horrifying. He wanted nothing more than to get up and run as far from Negan and as far from what was left of “Benny” as possible. Negan suddenly calmed down and that Cheshire grin returned to his face as blood began to trickle from beneath the younger man’s long brown hair as he twisted and turned Lucille into the back of the now grunting naked man’s head, “You know why I had the carpet in this house become fucking red Rick? So that the goddamn blood doesn’t fucking stain it too much. And when you’re dealing with morons like this motherfucker, there’s going to be a LOT of fucking blood.” Rick let out a shaky breath, trembling all over. Dee- or was it Dum- walked forward and put a firm hand on his shoulder, as if expecting Rick to bolt. “That won’t be necessary, Dum. Rick here knows the fucking consequences of trying to fight me. Don’t you Rick?” Negan locked eyes on Rick who nodded quickly.  
As much as he was terrified of what he was sure would be a less than inspiring “introduction” to his new job, he knew that Carl being in the position of the man on the floor would terrify him more. He had no choice, no matter how mortified he was, other than to stay just where he was and let Negan do what he was going to do to him and to Benny. Negan nodded, a satisfied, low hum rolling out from the back of his throat, “Yeah, you fucking know. So, Rick, I guess it’s time for a proper introduction to the hell your life is about to fucking be. I’ll start by pointing out the obvious. This man isn’t one of my right hand men, or any sort of worker for me, or any of the other people under me for that matter. You see, he’s been demoted, just like you will be, down to a simple little motherfucking term. A goddamn term that has been used for years! ‘Pet’. Just like every other person who thought they could be balls enough to be an alpha dog against me and try to motherfucking piss all over my goddamn territory. It’s ok though, you all don’t fucking realize what you’re doing and I goddamn understand that. I also understand that you all have fucking survived for so long AND led goddamn groups, and I think that’s just fanfuckingtastic, so I also cut you a goddamn break: I don’t fucking kill you. But you best believe I fucking train you, whipping your asses into shape. You see Rick, aside from creating a fucking awesome group, I have honed my skills at taking alpha dogs like yourself, and turning them into my little bitches. Granted, some of you do need more fucking training than others. Take Benny Boy here. . .”  
He chuckled, and swung Lucille around and slamming the side of her into the man’s head with a loud CRACK! Rick jumped slightly as the man grunted and fell still on the ground, having no doubt been knocked out upon impact. Negan stepped off of him and made his way to Rick, slowly as if approaching a wounded animal that might strike out at any moment. Rick most certainly was the first part of that description, but decidedly not the second. He tensed even further against the wall, eyes focusing on Negan’s own cold yet joyful ones as the man drew nearer, Lucille a windmill at the man’s side. For once Rick wasn’t watching her though. Rather his blue eyes were trapped within Negan’s own.  
He’d never seen eyes like that-such a mix of opposing emotions-not even in the worst criminals he’d ever come into contact with. They paralyzed him even more than the sight of the sprawled man across the room from them, even more than the thought that he may very well be that man one day. It was a mixture of anger and happiness, passion and calculation, that he saw in those eyes. All swirling together to form black pits that promised to destroy all that he was.  
“I don’t fucking ask for much,” Negan slurred, a smirk coming across his face that assured Rick that he most certainly did as he twirled Lucille around at the end of his gloved wrist, “But when you give me a goddamn blowjob, I don’t expect you to try to take my dick the fuck off with your goddamn dirty teeth. Which, as you can probably guess, is what Benny tried to fucking do one day. But Lucille here, she might think sometimes that she should be the only goddamn thing I swing at shitheads, but she knows just how much my lil Negan means to me personally and she fucking respects the hell out of that. So she wanted Benny to fucking pay for hurting my goddamn cock. And do you want to know just how she made him do that?” With that he swung Lucille around and slammed the bat, just below the barbed wire, into his open palm and knelt down before Rick, cold eyes bearing into the brunette man as if they were about to go straight to his soul, “We had his motherfucking hands laid across my beautiful fucking desk there, and Lucille came down on those little shits until they were so broken and splintered and ripped apart that that sorry ass piece of shit goddamn BEGGED for me to cut them the fuck off. After that, all he could do was use his mouth to get me off without my dick being up his ass. With mouthguards, of course. Pretty goddamn ironic. Tell me, Rick, will we ever have to fucking do that to your pretty little hands?” He shot his hand out and grabbed Rick’s wrists, jerking them out and away from the man and holding them firmly in the air betwixt the two of them, “Will we have to teach you that fucking lesson too?” he mused, rubbing Rick’s skin beneath his calloused thumb.  
As Rick alternated from staring at his hands and at Negan, the Savior Leader began to rub the barbed wire of the bat up and down against them and Rick felt his eyes bead up as the barbed wire rubbed against his skin, scratching it and pulling some of the skin this way and that, causing blood to slowly trickle from his fingers and onto the floor “Will I have to let Lucille fucking teach you how to do a proper goddamn blowjob?” Negan remarked calmly, blinking at Rick.  
Rick locked eyes on him and shook his head “no”. Negan smiled, “Good. See Rick, I think that you will be an extremely better Pet than Benny ever was. And you know fucking why? Goddamn motivation. You see, you have been the leader of your old group for a fucking long time. And THAT. . .” He moved Lucille up and under Rick’s chin, tilting the man’s head up higher, her barbs cutting into the skin there once again, “Is why you already know about being responsible for others, and THAT will make you a fast learner because THAT means you have a lot more to goddamn lose if you fucking misbehave. You see, Benny belonged to this community we were dealing with a year ago. When they finally decided they wanted to motherfucking rebel against us, which was in and of itself an idiotic move, Benny stepped up as their motherfucking leader to try get them to fucking win a fight one day when we were going to pick up supplies. He was the son of the goddamn leader or something. Anyway he soon learned that that was a BIG mistake. We defeated them, and I stated that as long as he agreed to some new fucking peacekeeping terms, I wouldn’t kill his motherfucking family. Well, Benny wasn’t too bright, as you can damn well imagine, and had quite the fucking mouth on him, even as I killed every single member of his family, and all the other men. After all, I didn’t know how fucking many of them would be dumbass leaders like him, if given the chance. So you see, even when Benny had something to lose the fucker didn’t know how to handle the responsibility, and when he came here with nothing to lose. . .”  
Negan shook his head, ticking his tongue, eyes closed, “Let’s just say I enjoy my dogs to have spirit as much as the next owner, but some dogs just DO NOT LEARN. Nothing but trouble, that boy. One day, I finally had enough of that tone of his and I did the thing most pet owners would when they are tired of the way their fucking dog barks. I took that ability away. Of course, most would have the vocal chords manipulated, but we can’t afford to do that shit here. . .” he laughed a little and smirked at Rick, eyes flickering dangerously, “So I just took out the bastard’s tongue. Then I had someone grill it up and grind it down into his next meal. I must say it has been rather entertaining hearing him try to insult me after that, but even that can get rather boring. And taking out his little dick didn’t help his fucking attitude at all. So, while I have had fun with Benny, he has outlived his goddamn usefulness and long fucking story short, I think I’m ready to move on to a new Pet. One that might not be quite as much trouble as him, because this one I think understands all too well the severity of the consequences his actions can cause. . . Now isn’t that right, Ricky?” Reaching up, the man jerked the gag out with his finger tips and Rick shot his head down, gasping in breaths of fresh air, his body heaving with each intake, savoring the air as it came flooding in. Negan let him have the freedom for a moment but then that firm hand was on Rick’s chin, jerking his head up and Rick paused in his deep breaths, staring at the Leader. “I said, isn’t that right, Ricky?” Negan hissed, eyes narrowing slightly, daring Rick to say no or not answer him.  
Rick gulped hard, licking his dry, cracked lips, “Y-y-yes, yes. I understand.” Negan leaned closer so that his hot breath was on Rick’s face, “Yes what?” Rick choked out a weak sob, Negan’s nails digging into the marks Lucille had already made on his chin, forcing more blood out of the wounds, “Yes sir.” Negan smiled at him, “Good boy. See, you’re already learning! Now, most of your job’s tasks will be introduced to you gradually, but tonight Lucille and I are just going to have a bit of fun with ya. Not beating you any more, hell knows you don’t look like you could take much more of that,” Negan chuckled, “But before any of that, it’s time to put my old dog down, wouldn’t you say? Hell, can’t let you both share the same goddamn kennel.” Rick felt tears start to seep down his cheeks. He didn’t want to see someone else get killed, not after Glenn and Abraham, but he knew all too well that he was going to be at Negan’s mercy for the foreseeable future, and he’d be damned if he didn’t want to keep the man happy because of that. He certainly didn’t want him to be angry. . . the mutilations Negan had talked about so flippantly were by far enough to convince him of that.  
“Y-yes sir,” Rick whispered hoarsely. Negan smirked at him, “Good!” Getting up, slapping his knees as he did so, the Leader walked back over to the body lying on the floor, “Now, Rick, I normally don’t give goddamn treats to my pets, certainly not in the beginning, but I know how rough these past two days have been for you, so I’ll go ahead and give you one. It’s a goddamn choice, and one that you can make all on your fucking own!” He turned and grinned as he hovered over Benny, pointing Lucille at Rick who blinked back, wondering what the hell the choice could be about. Negan smiled, “You can either be blindfolded as I kill this goddamn prick, able to hear but not having to see me bludgeon his sorry ass to death, or you can watch it. Every goddamn bit of it. Choice is yours. . .” Negan smiled and tilted his head as he held out his hands, Lucille lazily held in the right one, “But I do need an answer now. Got a lot of other shit to attend to. Even after I’m fucking done with you.”  
Rick grit his teeth as Dee and Dum moved forward to force “Benny” to his feet. He knew what the easy path would be: listening blindly. But he also knew that Negan would probably, being the sadist he was, enjoy him watching more. And right now keeping Negan happy was his best bet at staying alive, no matter how it hurt to give in to the thug. He sucked in a deep breath as Benny, was forced to his feet and nodded, “I’ll watch.” Negan grinned at him, the smile stretching from one ear to the other, “Well HOT DIGGITY DOG! Been a fucking while since someone I offered that goddamn choice to had the balls to decide that one. You can bet this sorry fuck never would have,” the man chuckled, and his eyes lit with a playful fire as he smiled at Rick, “Fuck Rick, I think I’m really going to enjoy you here. And not just because this keeps your goddamn group in line, but because I have a feeling you will be a whole hell of a lot of fun to goddamn play with. Enough goddamn talk though. Here we go!” Gripping Lucille in both hands, he twisted his body around and Rick braced himself, forcing his eyes to watch as the bat slammed hard into the man’s side, far harder than Negan had been hitting him. The man roared in pain as his side seemed to shatter beneath the blow, the hit certainly waking him up out of his dazed state.  
Rick jumped as each strike came at the man, Dee and Dum staying out of Negan’s way as much as possible as they tried to keep the naked man before them standing as a target. As the man was pushed between the two men as a way of keeping them out of Lucille’s strike zone and of keeping him upright, Negan struck him everywhere, breaking legs, ribs, and the rest of the man’s arms as strangled cries could be heard from the former “Pet”, only to be rivaled by the sound of bones snapping beneath Lucille’s merciless blows. She sounded like thunder as she went about her business and blood was flung throughout the room, splattering the cream colored walls, splattering Negan, splattering the men, and even splattering Rick himself even from so far away. Through it all, Lucille just kept flying through the air, pieces of skin trailing behind her from time to time as Negan worked his way around the man, laughing darkly as he beat him to death.  
As the Leader slammed Lucille so hard against the man’s head his neck cracked and his skull was flung to the side in a way that made Rick’s own neck and head ache, the man went limp and began to fall. “LEAVE HIM!” Negan ordered, holding Dee who had reached forward to grab the kid,back with Lucille pressing against the other Savior’s stomach, leaving “Benny” to fall to the floor in a crumpled heap. Whilst there, the kid began to curl in on himself instinctively. No matter how much he hated Negan, Rick knew the kid was in torturous pain and would do anything to make the pain stop. It wasn’t enough-Rick knew that nothing would be enough to make it stop at that point- as Lucille came slamming down in a sledgehammer hit right on top of the man’s side, eliciting a sharp cry from his throat as Negan continued his assault. But Rick didn’t look away. He couldn’t.  
Any time Negan had his back to him, Dee and Dum had their eyes on him, ready to tell their boss if Rick ever diverted his own eyes from the scene before him. It was their monitoring alone that assured him that looking away would only cause pain for him. So he continued to watch as blood was flung this way and that as the victim’s cries filled the air and each bone broke and pieces of skin were torn savagely away. Until finally those cries stopped and the blows slowed, and no bone on Benny’s body moved. Rick let out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding as Negan stopped, leaning forward and pressing Lucille’s thicker end into the red carpet as he heaved a final satisfied sigh that came out more in a growl, blood streaming down the bat in rivers as the Leader leaned over his now dead prisoner, resting on his beloved weapon for support, head bowed. “Take him the fuck away to the warehouse. Get him fitted into the goddamn fence before he fucking wakes up. I’ve fucking got this shit here,” the man breathed out.  
Rick gulped, knowing just who Negan was going to deal with next, realizing for the first time in minutes the wetness streaking down his cheeks, making pale rivers in the blood crusted there. He watched as Dee and Dum picked up the body and hurriedly carried what was left of Benny out of the room. Groaning, Negan turned and Rick saw the red splattered all over the Savior Leader as he walked firmly to the armchair closest to him, the one that was facing Rick, and sat down, putting his boots up on top of the small table before the fire and draping Lucille across his lap, gazing at the fire for a moment before turning to Rick and smirking, “Damn, even when I had my goddamn back turned, I felt your fucking eyes on us. You have NO idea how much that fucking got to me.” Lifting up one hand, he made a beckoning sign, and Rick gulped hard as Negan continued, shivering in a cold sweat that had started with the first strike Lucille had dealt out to Benny, “Now come here. One Pet’s gone to help with my fucking security so it’s fucking goddamn time to break the new one in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you all think? Brutal? Exciting? Good? Bad? Looking to get the next chapter posted within the next few days! Comments are encouraged, I really do want to know what you all think!


	5. Right In The Old Pocket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to be a catcher. It was thrust upon me.-Mickey Cochrane
> 
> Rick has now been inducted into being Negan's new Pet. Out with the old and in with the new, as they say. Time to breathe, relax and curl up by the fire with his new Master right? WRONG. The preview to Rick's new role in Negan's twisted society is over, now it's time to start a little something I have come to call. . . CATCHING TRYOUTS. The real trials of this tale are about to begin for Rick Grimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello wonderful amazing readers. For those of you who have stuck with me, welcome back! I was overwhelmed with happiness at the comments that were passed my way with the release of the last chapter. It touched my heart, warmed my soul, and encouraged me to push forward with this chapter! I cannot use enough words to express the thankfulness I feel towards every single one of my commenters. For those of you who are just now starting to read my wonderfully dark and brutal fanfic, I certainly hope you have enjoyed this alternate tale thus far. 
> 
> I do apologize for the fact that this entry has come so long after the release of the last chapter, given the quicker pace previously set. But, as coming back from vacation and being thrust right back into a full time job can always do (not to mention a boyfriend's Metal Battle of the Bands in which his/our band won- HELL YEAH TOMBSTONE BLUE!), life quickly went form having plenty of time to write and proofread to a hectic time in which all writing and proofreading must be done before or after work (and when my lover is not working on his own tale on his laptop and I get to steal it away given the fact that my own laptop is older than a Velociraptor but not nearly as fast . . . or smart). -clears throat- but enough excuses about lack of time to work on this chapter, let's move on to the real reason why this chapter has taken a little longer to post: its content.  
> I promised you dub con (which to some may seem non con) and here it is. Yes, you heard me right. This is the first sexual abuse chapter of this lovely tale, but certainly not the last. It has been fun and also exhausting to write, and in my hopes that it will be a chapter worthy of your reading, it has also taken a lot more proofreading in order for me to be 100% completely happy with it. Fair warning: it does involve anal insertion and of course full male nudity.  
> I also would like to thank everyone for the comments regarding the spacing between paragraphs and the length of the paragraphs. I agree, sometimes when there appears to be no spaces between long paragraphs, even a delightful story can appear as a wall one must scale to get to the wonderful feeling the words can portray, and I hope to have made that wall appear a little less difficult by keeping most paragraphs rather short here and adding extra spacing between them.  
> But enough of me jabbering on. You're not here to read reasons why it took so long to post this chapter, how your critiques have helped me immensely, or any of this stuff! On with the chapter!

Rick grit his teeth and stood up, staggering as he did so and leaning on the wall behind him for support. Slowly he began to limp towards the armchair until he stood before Negan. Every muscle he had was shaking as his heart hammered against his rib cage, flooding his ears with its rapid beat. Tears pricked at his eyes threatening to fall as Negan smiled calmly, a lazy look in his obsidian eyes that flickered with mischief in the fire’s glow. 

Rick let out a weak sob of desperation as Negan turned to his side, gripping something outside of Rick’s sight. While he feared what Negan was about to do standing there waiting for the inevitable seemed far worse to the brunette. As he stood there millions of scenarios, each one more terrifying than the one before, ran through his panicked mind. He began to shake so much the tears that had been in his eyes quickly ran down blood splattered cheeks, falling onto his jacket, sliding down the leather and out of sight.

Negan chuckled as he pulled out his hunting knife, “So goddamn excited you’re about to fucking cry Ricky baby? Sorry to fucking keep you waiting, had no idea you were so goddamn ready to get started.” His dark eyes and Rick’s crystal blues watched as the fire flickered red across the steel surface of the knife before he lunged forward, grabbing Rick’s wrists. Rick sucked in a sharp breath and was about to jerk away from the man but before he could so much as move his arms Negan sliced clean through the ropes binding them. “Calm down ya prick,” the man growled out, smirking up at him, “Just decided I’d free ‘em so you could goddamn use ‘em. Now, I want your fucking clothes off. I ain’t a goddamn hollywood queen and my bitches don’t wear fucking outfits. In other fucking words, strip your shit.”

Rick closed his eyes and bowed his head, letting out a shuddering breath and gazing at the floor as he opened them. As he gazed at his boots, he knew he needed to do what he was being told, but this was Negan and even though he had resigned himself to doing whatever the man wanted undressing would leave him naked and vulnerable. 

“Hell, come on now,” Negan chuckled, reaching forward and gripping the front of Rick’s pants, jerking on the hem and making Rick stumble forward as it unsettled him, “I’ve already seen the goddamn embarassing half ya fucking puss. And I gotta fucking tell ya, while I am enjoying this I can’t spend all goddamn night messing around with ya. Got some fucking ladies waiting on me downstairs. So I’m not trying to rush ya, but I want those goddamn clothes off. RIGHT THE HELL NOW.” he shouted the last, making the chandelier tremble above and making Rick wince at the threat lacing his tone.

Once the sounds of the trembling metal had quieted down, Rick grit his teeth, reaching up and gripping the hems of his brown leather jacket before slowly sliding it off and dropping it with a heavy thump onto the floor. Reaching down to the hem of his shirt he gulped, pursing his lips as he gripped the material firmly and began to pull it off, hissing as the pieces of cloth that had shredded and melded with his wounds ripped away part of his skin in passing. 

Pulling it quickly over his head once it was away from his torso, he tossed the bloody tattered cloth onto the floor and then went for his pants. He grit his teeth and bit his lip, gnawing on it slightly before letting out a sigh and undoing his belt and button. Mentally counting to three, he gripped the hem and jerked them and his boxers down. Tugging his boots off and staggering as he did so, his swollen ankle making taking its boot off all the more difficult, Rick grunted, trying his hardest not to lose his balance. After pulling and tugging at it he finally popped the boot off before gathering it, the other boot, the pants, and the underwear, balling them up and tossing them to the side to accompany the remains of his shirt. Once he was fully nude, the former Sheriff slowly straightened, his back screaming in protest at all of the movement he’d just engaged in, and looked at Negan with blurry eyes, even more humiliated than he had been at any time in the past 48 hours.

Negan let a slow smirk slide over his face, “See, now was that really so goddamn difficult? And look at how fucking handsome you are, all beat to hell and with all that goddamn blood on ya. Couldn’t have fucking seen it with all that shit on you and hell, it makes Lucille just want to paint you red a little goddamn more,” he chuckled, swinging Lucille around with a lazy grin and Rick tensed as she touched his hip, some of Benny’s old blood moving onto him as she slid on down towards his crotch, the area still swollen and cut up from before, leaving a trail of scratches in her wake. Rick sucked in a deep breath, trying to brace his shoulders and look at the flames of the hearth as she moved gently over the organ, trying to prepare himself in case the bat drew back and came for another swing at it. “But I did fucking tell you I wouldn’t beat you any more, now didn’t I?” Negan said, and shook his head, bowing it, “Damn me and my goddamn motherfucking word.” 

Tilting his head back, the Savior Leader smiled at him, “I guess Lucille is just gonna have to have her goddamn fun some other fucking way. Emphasis on the fucking part. Go over and bend that sweet body of yours over my desk and I’ll get the pretty girl fucking ready for ya. You see, I wanna slide my dick into your fucking ass so goddamn badly right now, cuz I bet it’s tight as fuck, but I always give her the fucking honor of breaking in a new Pet first. You know what they goddamn say, ladies fucking first. So let’s see if you’re a better catcher than you are a goddamn pitcher.” With that the sadist pointed with Lucille towards the prescribed location and Rick tensed, his eyes immediately going to the wide end of the bat. 

The blood there-a mixture of his, Glenn’s, Abraham’s, and Benny’s- covered the wood and wire, with pieces of flesh, cloth, and hair sticking to the bat’s barbs in some areas. He knew his piss had also coated it, making her a mess of human pain and suffering. But it wasn’t the drying fluids and humanity that lay upon the weapon’s surface that terrified him. Rather it was the concept of having Lucille’s girth up his arse. It was the thought of something that huge going somewhere he had never expected anything to go that sent a shiver down his spine.

He bowed his head, shutting his eyes tightly and hoping that Negan would listen to his next words and consider them given his compliance thus far, “Please, please just let me rest. I swear I will do whatever you want tomorrow, but please, not this. Not now. P-” He was cut off with a yelp as Lucille slammed hard into his thigh, sending him onto one knee. The hit had been hard, far harder than any he’d felt before. As she pulled away, more blood streaming from his thigh where she’d torn into him, he put a hand there subconsciously, the area radiating in pain. The lack of a cracking sound had been the only thing assuring him that she hadn’t broken bone. “Damn you, Rick. And your fucking tryout was going so goddamn well! Then you had to fucking go and insult my beautiful girl like that?! Not cool Rick, not goddamn fucking cool,” Negan snarled, standing up, “You ungrateful motherfucker, I wasn’t wanting to teach you another goddamn lesson tonight. This could have gone fucking smooth as shit.”

Rick didn’t have time to even meet the man’s gaze before his hair was grabbed and head wrenched back so that he gasped and his neck was bent painfully. The other man glared down at him with dark eyes, “But I suppose that some fucking lessons just can’t be goddamn skipped, can they? Gotta fucking drag this shit out, don’t you you fucking bitch.Tell me, Rick, what are you now, you goddamn piece of shit?” Rick sucked in a shuddering breath, tears peaking at the corners of his eyes once more and when he didn’t speak Negan growled and slamming Lucille back against Rick’s thigh made him cry out as she was then pressed there, the man above him twisting her back and forth, making Rick’s vision blur as pain radiated from the area. “Goddamn answer me you fucking piece of shit,” Negan snarled, spit landing on Rick’s face. Rick gulped, his breathing coming in short rapid pants, his heart slamming against his abused ribs. 

“Y-you said I was-” he began. Negan’s eyes narrowed even more before he jerked his arm, tossing Rick forward so that he caught himself on his hands, staring at the carpet beneath him. He panted, watching as droplets of blood landed on the burgundy material. Maybe it was smart, having it be red, he thought, as Negan snarled from above him, moving Lucille away, “Try again, you piece of motherfucking shit.” 

Rick cried out as Lucille came around and slammed into the side of his head, flinging him to the side so that Rick’s temple slammed into the hearth. His face exploded in pain and a scream was wrenched from his throat as he made impact, the hearth cutting the skin of his forehead open as his ear felt like it was shredded where she made contact, blood pouring from it as a ringing filled his ears and blood flowed down his face onto the hot stone, the front of his head throbbing in agony. Putting a shaky hand on the carpet, Rick tried to steady his breathing before moving to rise back up off of the harsh hearth. Negan was there in an instant, putting his foot on the small of Rick’s back to hold him steady as Lucille pressed against the back of his head, pushing his face into the stone as she twisted back and forth into his scalp making his broken nose flare in pain along with the rest of his face as it was pressed into the jagged stones. 

Rick whimpered, feeling like his head was about to break open and seeing dark spots and bright stars flash before his eyes, tears leaking from them as Negan growled , “I said to fucking ‘Try again’.” Rick choked out some blood as he panted against the hearth. He knew he had to say it the way the Savior Leader wanted him to, otherwise this was the end of the line. And if he died, what would Negan do the others? He had said he would kill Carl if Rick “vexed” him. He figured not saying what Negan wanted definitely qualified as “vexing”. . . “I’m. . . I’m yours, I’m your Pet,” he whispered. “And what kind of goddamn Pet are you?” Negan hissed, and Lucille pushed Rick further against the stone, causing the pain to intensify to the point where Rick’s stomach clenched and he felt bile racing up his throat. “I . . .” Rick sobbed, his tears and blood streaming onto the floor, “I want to be a good one.” “And what do Good Pets fucking do?” Negan said, the threat ebbing slightly from his voice to be replaced with cold satisfaction, and Rick sighed hard against the rock, the heat of the fire not helping ease his pain in the slightest, the blood still streaming down his entire face and over his chin to patter against the carpet below.

“They goddamn obey their Masters,” Negan answered himself, “Now, is that what you’re about to fucking do?” Rick shuddered and nodded, “Y-yes sir.” he whispered, the blood from his face running in and coating his tongue, making him feel even sicker. “Fuck yeah you are,” Negan remarked firmly, and Rick groaned as his hair was grabbed and he was pulled off the hearth. He hissed at the action, and stared at his blood on the stone and carpet. Letting out a breath, he shuddered as Negan dragged him around by the hair to drop him in the general direction off the desk. “Now get the fuck up and go to the goddamn desk. The batter’s up, time for the fucking catcher to get in goddamn position.” the Leader hissed. Rick shut his eyes tight, and gritting his teeth made to get up only to groan as his world spun and he lost his balance. At that moment Lucille swung around and smacked him across his bare back, tearing at him and pushing him forward.

Gasping, he lurched to the side, grabbing the small table and almost falling over it in his attempt to stay upright, the world spinning beneath his feet. The blood going down his throat and that were too much and he finally heaved onto the carpet, red vomit splattering over the table top as well. Sucking in a deep breath, hearing Lucille tap against the hearth behind him, he stiffened, the man and his bat clearly expecting Rick to move forward. As his back screeched in pain and blood trickled down from the wounds she’d just caused, Rick understood the unspoken threat Negan had just sent him: move quickly or get hit. Gritting his teeth, he tried to walk away from the table but felt his world lurch again and he slammed onto the floor, his hands splayed about on the carpet there. He froze as he heard Negan take a step forward and Lucille stop tapping. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he began to do what little he could, crawling on the floor as quickly as possible until he was finally at the desk, trying to ignore the spottiness of his vision and the moments of darkness that passed by his eyes. Gripping the edge of the furniture and lifting himself up and over it, he collapsed on the wood and prayed that everything would quit moving around him. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply as he tried to relax himself, attempting to quell his nerves and block it all out just for a moment. In the distance, he heard Negan walking about whistling and rummaging around but he didn’t pay it any mind. What could he do anyway? The answer was simple: nothing but take whatever hell Negan had decided to dole out to him. 

The thought sent a chill down his spine but Rick just tried to remain still and lay there, waiting for the devil to return. After what felt like a century passed, Negan marched up behind him and a firm hand was rubbing up and down Rick’s spine, “Time to fucking break ya in Ricky boy. Now I need your tight little ass to be a teensy fucking bit higher, so be a goddamn doll and pull yourself up on that desk just a little more. That way Lucille and I can get a good look at ya.” At that the man patted Rick firmly on the latest cuts he’d received from Lucille, making him whimper and curve against the desk, eyes shut tightly at the action and the pain it caused to radiate down his front.

As Negan stood behind him, waiting, Rick heaved a sigh and moving his hands up, gripped the edge of the desk and pulled himself over it, groaning as he flopped down again, his pelvis now resting along the edge closest to Negan. He didn’t care how pathetic he acted right now, all he wanted was for this to be over with so he could rest, dots dancing throughout his vision as he faded in and out of consciousness and blood continued to stream from his forehead to pool on the desk. Negan made a satisfied hum, or at least Rick hoped that was what it was, before two firm hands gripped his ass cheeks. In spite of his resolve to just lay there and get it over with, the former Sheriff couldn’t help but tense up at the callous hands groping his thighs as the man behind him used his knees to spread Rick’s dangling legs. Making a satisfied hum, the Leader let his hands pull Rick’s thighs apart, revealing his tight asshole. “Just like a new fucking mitt. Tight as shit and ready to be worn in,” the man murmured, “You have got one fine ass, bitch. Mind if I inspect ya a little fucking closer?” Rick shuddered, closing his eyes and feeling Negan squeeze his rump tighter, clearly expecting an answer. And he knew that only the answer Negan wanted would be acceptable. He shook his head, lips trembling and making his breathing rattle. “Fucking sweet,” Negan remarked smoothly.

Rick sucked in deep breath after deep breath as a rough thumb inched closer and closer to his hole, willing himself not to pull away from the Savior Leader. The left hand’s thumb circled it a few times before rubbing over and along its edges and dipping in. Rick grit his teeth at the pressure, shutting his eyes tight and hissing at the pain as Negan forced his thumb inside of him. “Tight as a goddamn choke. Damn you really haven’t fucking done anything like this before, have you?” Negan chuckled, moving his gloved hand up to rub Rick’s hair, being sure to dig into Rick’s head wound at the base of his skull, making Rick moan as his vision blurred and darkened again. Lowering his head, the former Sheriff shook it, biting back the whimpers that fought to be released.“Well then, Lucille and I will be so fucking goddamn honored to be your firsts Ricky. Now I want you to move your hands back here, and hold those pretty little cheeks open for me. I gotta prep my little lady here. She wants to skip the first fucking three bases and slide right into home so goddamn badly.”

Rick moaned gently, the thought of the bat ramming up inside him almost paralyzing to him, and reaching behind himself and gripping his ass as best he could given the awkward position he was in, the brunette slowly pulled his thighs apart to the point where he thought Negan had had them at, knowing that even if his face wasn’t covered in blood it’d probably be just as red. Embarrassment rolled off of him in waves along with his pain as he laid there, holding himself open like a slut for the monster behind him. And even though he knew the purpose was to avoid pain, that didn’t ease any of the humiliation as Negan chuckled, rubbing one ass cheek almost affectionately before moving his hand away from the man, the “Good boy” clearly implied.

Deep breath after deep breath fell as he tried to remain conscious enough to continue to hold himself open, not wanting further injury more than he didn’t want this to happen. He thought he heard a bottle cap open, but at this point any other sound seemed like it was either underwater or a million miles away. Seconds stretched on like centuries as he lay there, trembling as he awaited the inevitable. Finally the hand was back, between his shoulders as Negan leaned over him, sounding as if he was speaking through a plastic tube, his voice was so distorted, “Alright, here we go, Ricky. Ya still with us?” Rick gulped hard, hating the copper going down his throat and nodding, his lips trembling, “Y-yes,” he managed hoarsely, hoping Negan heard him, especially given how hard it was for him to hear the Savior Leader. 

Negan growled gently and pressed down hard between his shoulders and forcing Rick further into his own blood on the desk, and he moaned, adding what he felt the man was wanting to hear, “S-sir.” “Good boy,” that deep, muffled voice rumbled back at him, “Now Lucille is gonna take this nice and slow at first. I even put a fucking condom and lube on her for your goddamn convenience. And believe you me, she wanted to fucking take you bareback, especially after hearing how much you didn’t want her before. Now what do you say to that, you piece of shit?”

Rick choked out a weak sob, wishing the man would just get it over with. Drawing this out only made it all that much worse. But then, that was probably the point. “Th-thank you,” he whispered. The hand on his back rubbed him firmly, “There we go. Already learning better fucking manners, aren’t we? Yes, you’re definitely gonna be my favorite, such a fast learner.” It was then that a pressure started between his thighs and Rick moaned as Lucille started to get pushed against his unprepared hole. Burning sprang up from the protesting skin as she pushed against the bottom of the opening, the top part of her knob-Rick quickly learned with slight relief that it was in fact the handle that Negan was intending to fuck him with, not her barbed end- pushing against the top ridge of the hole, waiting for it to give.

He sobbed, his body tensing as he pushed his forehead against the desk, causing more stars to flash in his vision. Negan was a mad man. You weren’t supposed to put shit into a hole that was made to get shit out of you. You just weren’t. . . Rick moaned, whimpering against the desk as his legs began to shake from the pain surrounding his anus as the pressure continued, his toes and fingers curling at the agony he was in as the rough bat attempted to open him wider. Negan patted the middle of his back, “Yeah, I know it fucking hurts. But you’re doing so goddamn good. Just calm the hell down, try to fucking relax. It’ll all be over soon.” It already is over, Rick thought with a sob. It was over the moment Negan had stepped out of that RV. Nay, it was over the moment he’d agreed to go to Hilltop . . . 

After being under such constant pressure, the skin suddenly tore a little and Rick gasped, as pain flooded through him unlike anything that had happened before, his fingers extending out and releasing his thighs briefly, forcing them to clamp down on the bat, her barbs scraping lightly against his ass as he stared ahead of himself, his breath caught in his throat as blood began to pour from his rectum, trickling down his thighs and legs. In that moment as he held his breath and froze, Negan grunted and Lucille was shoved in, the Leader taking the opportunity provided by the tearing skin to get her knobby head inside of the man on the desk, turning the escape of Rick’s breath from a gasp into a cry of pain as she went down into him, past her slender handle and to the beginning of her wider end, nestled as far inside Rick as she could get, his shredded insides on fire at the intrusion, his asshole ignited in a sharp, stinging pain at the unnatural invasion.

As Negan paused, Rick began to take in deep breaths, attempting to calm himself down and to relax as previously instructed to no avail. Suddenly he hissed, eyes shut tight, tears flooding from them at the pain as Negan slowly began to rotate her larger end, forcing his anus to stretch around her as she moved about in clockwise circles, every movement one that caused pain to vibrate through Rick as she tugged and pushed against him, his muscles both constricting and retreating around her as if trying to figure out what the hell to do with the foreign object wedged inside him. Negan’s fingers curled on Rick’s back, the fingernails of the man biting into his wounds there, “Goddamn she loves just how fucking tight you are. To be honest, I’m goddamn jealous of her, but I’ll be in there soon enough, and all due respect to Lucille, I do have a bit of a BIGGER presence,” Negan chuckled, “But enough fucking talk. My baby girl’s ready to pound into your fucking ass, you little bitch. If you’re lucky, you’ll learn to enjoy it and settle in for the ride.” 

Rick grit his teeth, his fingers digging into his thighs so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if blood was coming out of the skin there. As Lucille slowly pulled out to where just half of her handle was buried inside him he tried once more to relax, hoping that if he could do that it would be a bit easier. But then all thoughts of relaxing flew out the window as she tore through him even more as Negan slammed her right back into him, making him jump and cry out as she ripped him in two all over again. 

For minutes that seemed like an eternity the bat pulled out and slammed into Rick, pounding into him as he cried and sobbed, jumbled words begging for mercy that wouldn’t be found, Lucille tearing at his asshole and making it burn as hot blood trickled down the former Sheriff’s legs. After the first three slams, his hands subconsciously left his thighs to grab at the desk, trying to pull himself away from the torture his back side was enduring. Even though Negan did lean more of his weight on him to ensure that he was kept in place, the sadist didn’t order for his thighs to be grabbed again. Not that that helped much, as now not only was his asshole now being rubbed raw but the insides of his thighs were as well as the wood moved quickly against them, on occasion with barbed wire catching on his skin and making him scream as it tore at him there.

The screams seemed to only egg Negan on as he shoved the bat into him, the force of the man enough to lift Rick off the desk and slam him right back into it with each hit. Each time he hit the desk Rick’s pain was only intensified as his dick rammed against it, getting even more swollen and bloody as scars from the previous injuries dealt to it were reopened. With every hit of his head against the harsh wood his head spun and rang. 

For minutes that seemed like centuries they went on like that until finally Lucille pulled back and didn’t return. Rick shuddered and collapsed, lips shaking against the bloody surface of the torture table, eyes wide as he stared at Lucille who was now placed delicately on the desk beside him, a green condom wrapped around her handle that was covered in shit and blood. The knowledge that it was his blood made Rick choke out a sob, closing his eyes.“Well fuck Rick, guess who fucking passed phase one of his goddamn try outs?” Negan muttered, slightly out of breath. 

The fake praise only made Rick sob harder, the audacity of the monster behind him to make light of what just happened enough to make his pain ten times worse. He felt like Negan had taken him by his sides and ripped him in two, leaving him sobbing on the bloody wooden desk. That on top of the previous beatings left him not just wracked with pain but exhausted by it. He was pulled out of his half awake haze when words were uttered by the man leaning over him that chilled Rick to the bone, “On to phase 2: My turn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before any of you get mad at me for cock-blocking Negan, please understand: the next chapter has already been written, and was in fact supposed to be a part of this chapter! But, I didn't want to put too much of a good thing in one chapter, and I assure you, the next chapter should be up soon (especially seeing as I have tomorrow off and hardly any plans! YAY! Lazy day!). So, what did you think? Good? Brutal? Well Written? All of the Above? None of the Above? As always, comments are appreciated and treasured! Keep those reviews and constructive critiques rolling, I love each one! Always checking my email! And thanks to all who leave kudos! Love my little thumb-uppers!


	6. Only If You Want To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick has passed Round 1 of Catcher Tryouts, now Negan is ready to move on to Round 2. But only if Rick wants to. . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaack. . . and I want to apologize first off for any wait that has been endured for this chapter. I love that you guys are enjoying reading this thus far, and wanted to get this chapter out soooo much sooner, but between frustrations at work and my need for this chapter to be 100% where I needed it to be, it has taken me a substantial amount of time to proofread it, even though some parts of it were already written whilst the last chapter was posted (I actually thought most of it was posted, but for the sake of intensity purposes, I did touch up a few parts and add others). I adore you all and enjoy your comments immensely, and wanted this chapter to rise up to any expectations!  
> Fair warning: this chapter is intense, and graphic, and if after proofreading it one final time my mind is blown, I can only hope that it will blow yours in only the best of ways. As can be expected, a borderline-noncon/dubcon warning is EXTREMELY IN ORDER.   
>  DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ!  
> In short, I hope you enjoy the chapter, I shall see you in the author's note at the other side. ;)

As rough hands wrapped around his hips Rick choked out a sob before he was pulled closer to the edge of the desk behind him. He wanted to beg, to plead with Negan not to fuck him. The idea promised him only more pain that a part of him wondered if he could physically take. He already felt emotionally spent. He knew the man would be thicker than Lucille and the mere thought of the Leader up his asshole made it tighten in fear and anticipation. But he didn’t dare say a word as the thumbs of the monster behind him worked in rough circles against his skin. Instead he just shut his eyes, trembling as he anticipated the inevitable. After all, the last time he had pleaded with Negan, where had it gotten him? A place with more pain than before that caused his head to spin and his vision to blur. 

“Tell me Rick, do you want this?” Negan asked, and Rick opened his eyes, staring at the desk before him as the man pressed his hips against him, pushing his crotch hard against the brunette’s ass, forcing his cock to slide up against his crack, “Because I goddamn want it, but it’s not gonna be fun unless you motherfucking say you want it too, you little shit.” With that he jerked his hips back and bucked hard against Rick’s thighs, making the brunette jolt against the desk and moan.

“And not to motherfucking rush you, but I want a goddamn answer now. . .” Negan hissed, and leaning over him and gripping Rick’s hair wrenched the man’s head back so that Rick gasped and stared at the world outside, wishing he could be there, wishing he could be anywhere but where he was. “P-please, please. . .” he moaned, wishing that Negan would reconsider his demand and just get on with it all. This was going to be painful enough without having to ask, and he knew it would be even more painful if he asked for the wrong thing. Negan wanting to hear his consent was just a formality. It wasn’t a question, it was a demand to hear what he wanted to hear. But if Negan understood him he didn’t let on. No, he was going to force those words from Rick, and that fact was cemented by the monster’s next ones, “Please, please. . . what?”

Rick licked his chapped lips, the revolting taste of copper falling on his tongue as he closed his eyes. He knew what he had to do, knew what he had to ask. But the thought of saying what Negan wanted-asking for something every part of him dreaded the reception of- kept his tongue tied. The words got caught in his throat, choking him with the audacity that he would have to ask for more pain. Instead, all that came out of his lips was a sob. “

Damn, Rick. Fucking hell,” Negan hissed in his ear, “Ok.” Leaning back, the man tapped his fingers once more along Rick’s hips, and Rick gazed at the desk, shaking all over as new tears filled his crystal blue eyes before Negan gripped his hips firmly and patted them before leaning away, moving his cock away from the man lying across the desk in his own blood, “Dammit Rick, if you really don’t want it, this doesn’t have to goddamn happen. Seriously, I don’t want to fuck you if you don’t want it.” Rick stared ahead of himself, his body wanting to sigh with relief as his mind was still stunned by the man’s apparent sudden change of attitude. What the hell was happening? Had it really been that eas. . . “I mean, I’m sure with time, even your brat of a kid or your bitch of a lover would be happy to say those goddamn words to me, wouldn’t they?” Negan murmured, and the threat was right back in his voice, his words striking like venom to Rick’s mind. 

Rick stared ahead, his breath hitching in his throat as he trembled. All that he’d been through, all that was being asked of him now and that would surely be asked of him in the future, it filled him with agony and pain. But the thought of Carl lying beneath Negan, of getting fucked by Lucille, getting fucked by NEGAN himself, that filled him with a dread and fear that he hadn’t before reached. And Michonne. The thought of the proud woman who had become like family to him brought so low made a weight fall into the pit of his stomach. 

He sobbed, “N-no, please no. I’ll do it, I’ll say it, but please no,” he moaned, bowing his head and pressing his face against the desk, “Please, let it be me, just me.” And, unlike the words he was about to utter, those were unfortunately the truth. He would do what Negan wanted now and on and on until he somehow got out of this mess. He would be what the man wanted as long as it took to keep his family safe. “Please, fuck me,” he whispered hoarsely, “Just fuck me.” 

A satisfied growl from behind him later and Negan was back, rubbing his sides with his fingers and rocking his hips against Rick’s own. “Speak the fuck up,” the man hissed, a sadistic lilt in his voice, “Didn’t quite goddamn catch all of that.” Rick sobbed again and lifted his head off the desk, “Please, Fuck Me. I want you to fuck me!” Negan chuckled, “Well, now that fucking changes things, doesn’t it you goddamn little shit. Brace yourself, this is going to be rough for you.” 

Rick sucked in a deep breath, hissing as the thick head of Negan’s cock pressed against his opening. Squeezing his eyes shut, he grit his teeth as fire shot up his spine. “Goddamn you’re still so motherfucking tight aren’t you you little shit? I goddamn love it. I would offer for ya to fucking relax, but it seems that all you motherfuckers have goddamn issues with that . . . at least for the first time,” the man chuckled behind him, gripping Rick’s thighs tightly, nails biting into the whimpering man before he started to push through the shredded remains of the first ring of muscle.

Rick pressed his forehead hard against the desk, moaning through clenched jaws as Negan grunted and forced himself against the meager resistance that Rick’s body gave, force feeding himself into Rick’s battered body. His wrists twisted so his fingers curled around air as his body slowly gave way to the man behind him, Lucille not having been nearly enough preparation for what he was going through. 

Lucille had torn at him, but he could tell that she was far smaller than the man behind him. And while her handle slimmed down and offered his body some relief at moments, Negan was far thicker, and that thickness ran all the way down his cock. Rick’s breaths became shallow and quick as his heart pounded and Negan continued to push on through his rectum, as unrelenting in his pressure then as he had been with everything else regarding the brunette. Tears streaked down Rick’s face as he moaned, eyes shut so tight his head sparked with pain as he longed for the bat he’d so recently dreaded the presence of. As Negan forced his way through him like a sword through flesh, Rick couldn’t even imagine how he would feel pounding into him when it already felt like the man was tearing him in two.

“Yeah, fuck yeah, I know. It always goddamn hurts the first fucking time,“ Negan murmured, reaching up and rubbing Rick between the shoulders and then up and down the man’s spine. Rick choked out a sob, whimpering. Though the words held a comforting meaning by themselves, the way the man spoke it was as if this was a joke to him. The fact that he spoke so flippantly only deepened the insult of the situation.

“But don’t you motherfucking worry, you’ll get fucking used to it Ricky Boy,” sliding his hand down Rick’s bruised spine, he gripped Rick’s hips and rubbed his thighs with his thumbs as he continued to push into him, “All in goddamn due time. I’ll make you a natural bottom soon fucking enough. Then you’ll fucking enjoy this too, you little shit. Just you wait. You’ll be a motherfucking cock slut in no time.” Rick choked out a weak sob, the thought of one day enjoying what was happening to him more terrifying to him than what was going on. 

Finally the man was seated down to the hilt inside Rick, who by that point was close to hyperventilating as he lay against the desk, eyes wide and legs spread far apart to accommodate the other male’s close proximity. Negan let out an appreciative groan, his warm thighs pressed against Rick’s clammy ones, his hands gripping his hips firmly while his dick stretched Rick’s hole in ways he felt it never should be stretched. Wiggling his hips he made Rick whimper as his already raw insides were shifted about by the movement, “Goddamnit you feel so goddamn motherfucking good. Been awhile since I’ve been in someone so fucking tight.” There was a pause as Negan leaned down, and Rick shuddered as the man kissed the middle of his back before breathing his hot breath on it, “I don’t know if I’ll enjoy beating you more than I’ll enjoy fucking your tight little ass, Rick Boy. But I am just SO GODDAMN EAGER TO FIND OUT. What about you, you little shit?”

Rick shuddered, lips trembling as he stared at the bloody desk with bloodshot eyes, his heart feeling like it would break out of his rib cage, fear racing through him as he failed to formulate a response, his mind just barely hanging on to reality. Negan growled, and gripping the back of Rick’s head with one hand, snarled as he pushed his forehead hard down into the desk, making more blood stream forth and causing Rick to shut his eyes tight and cry out in agony. “ANSWER ME YOU FUCK!” the man shouted, making Rick’s head ring. “Y-yes!” Rick shouted, fear driving his answer rather than honesty, tears streaking down his cheeks, “Y-yes sir, I”m eager! I’m eager!”

Negan breathed out a satisfied sigh and arched his hips back, making Rick moan as his dick rubbed against his raw entrance and caused it to burn, “So, you want me to fuck you, is that right Ricky?” Rick gulped and nodded quickly before he had a chance to really think about his response, “Y-yes sir,” he said quickly, his head spinning with what was about to happen. Negan’s grin could be heard in his next words, “Well then, what the fuck are we waiting for?” 

With that the sadist slammed back into him, pistoning his hips forward and setting a wild pace that made Rick scream and throw his head back down against the desk, gripping the wooden table top with his fingers so tightly he felt some nails split against the surface. Negan pounded into the man fast and hard, pushing further with each thrust, ripping and tearing at his insides in a way that caused pain that Rick wished he would either die or pass out from. He was on fire, each thrust from Negan causing new pain to fly through him, encasing him in agony. His breaths came in short, quick gasps and in some moments he seemed to forget how to breathe at all.

“Jesus Fucking Christ!” the Leader shouted, and Rick yelped as he was slammed down and held against the desk firmly as Negan altered his angle and put his plank of an arm across the middle of Rick’s back, making him wheeze, tearing and pulling at Rick’s asshole more as he struck harder, his dick a jackhammer as it dug deeper inside the sobbing man beneath it. Twice Rick lost his footing from the force of the man’s blows, his feet slipping and forcing him to slide more towards the penetrating object shoved up his ass before he would scramble back onto some sort of footing, using his hands to quickly grab the other end of the desk and yank himself further up on it. Negan would merely chuckle at his ministrations, as if they were some sort of sick joke. 

After the third time Rick had attempted his awkward scramble, Negan grabbed the man’s arms and held his wrists firmly behind his back, making Rick pant as the man took the ability to pull away away from him. Jerking back farther than before, the man lifted Rick physically off of the table before slamming him right back down into it, knocking any wind out of the man and making him wheeze, “Enough fucking wiggling around, you little shit.” Rick sobbed as he began to get slammed into the desk with each hit, feeling more like a ragdoll each time, his dick exploding with each hit as his body jerked around Negan due to the pain.

After what felt like hours of endless torture he felt his stomach twist as he felt the thick rod wedged up inside him seize up. He didn’t have to be a novice at this to know what that meant and he choked out a sob as Negan’s thrusts become more erratic and he was pushed back down onto the desk as the man fumbled about before a black booted foot slammed hard on the desk behind him making him jump as Negan grabbed hold of the structure before hoisting himself up to be on his knees behind Rick, bearing down on him as the desk shook and he leaned over to press down on Rick’s hands, pushing them against his back.

Rick whimpered as the man seemed to threaten to crush them as he continued to pound into him and a now free hand slid up to turn his head and cover the side of his face, forcing his cheek into the desk whilst Negan drove into him as if he wanted to fuck Rick through the furniture beneath them until it broke in two, pushing down into the man as far as he could go. 

Rick’s chest fought to expand, and as his insides began to convulse with the pressure of having the Leader on top of him, the man jerked about behind him and a finger drove into his eye, causing Rick to close the organ off tightly as another finger pressed hard onto his broken nose, making it spark with pain that sent stars up in front of his closed eyelids. “GODDAMN YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Negan roared, and Rick cried out, almost falling over the other side of the desk as he was jerked up so that Negan now stood behind him, the desk rocking back and forth as he was forced onto his hands and knees, his hands gripping the desk that by now was a good half of a foot behind his chest in regards to distance from the french doors. 

Rick panted, trying his best to stay upright rather than fall over the large chair before him and into the bars of his cage when Negan slammed a slap hard into his ass. From far off it seemed, he heard Lucille roll off the piece of furniture.

“Fuck!” Negan shouted, “I’m gonna fucking cum, you motherfucking prick! Fucking fill you the hell up! I’m about to paint those fucking walls white, I’m gonna cum so hard you won’t ever get me out! Jesus CHRIST! You fucking motherfucker! And you better scream my name, you motherfucker. Scream my name right the fuck goddamn now!” And, as he had said before, Negan was true to his word,as he leaned back and grabbing Rick’s hips, made the former Sheriff break out of his silence and cry out his name hoarsely as he was forced backwards, head bobbing as his body was forced along Negan’s thrusting cock, slamming onto Negan’s dick in time with the man’s pistoning hips once, twice, thrice, before with a roar the Leader came violently inside him. 

Rick tossed his head back, arching as his mouth opened in a wordless cry when he felt the Leader’s dick erupt inside him, pressure like never before being unleashed within the orifice. Tears leaked from his eyes as his lips gave shuddering gasps and he felt every bit of the sadist’s liquid streaming forth, coating his insides as Negan continued to thrust inside him after a moment’s pause, painting and marking Rick as his own. 

Negan’s nails of his right hand bit into the Sheriff’s thighs as he held him still, the final spurts of cum flowing out of him and inside the kneeling man as Rick panted and stared at the ceiling, watching the pictures the flickering flames made on it. After a few moment of remaining like that, Rick flopped down against the table as Negan fell to kneel behind him, his palms slipping in the blood from his head that had fallen on the oak surface as he breathed hard against the desktop. 

“You’re fucking mine, you little shit. You’ll always be mine goddamnit,” Negan’s muffled voice was there again as his hand moved into Rick’s hair, squeezing and releasing the man’s scalp as Rick moaned into the wood and a mixture of cum and blood trickled down between his legs, “Mine to fuck, mine to hit, mine to have you do whatever the goddamn fuckity fuck I think of. Hell you’ll be mine even if I decide to put you the fuck down you little shit. You’ll be right the fuck on that fence, biting and snapping and keeping people the fuck away. You’re mine, Rick Grimes. And you always will be, now fucking won’t you?” Rick sobbed weakly against the wood covered in his own blood, the smell of it revolting to him, “Y-yes sir.”

Negan leaned over him, jerking his hips forward and forcing another whimper from the man as his dick-even large when softened in aftershock- rammed up into him again and made Rick cry out before the sadist was back, hissing with his warm breath on Rick’s ear, “Say it. Say you’re fucking mine, Say you’re mine. Look at me and fucking say it.” Rick’s lips trembled as tears raced down his cheeks along with the blood. He turned his head, gazing at Negan with pain filled blue eyes, shaking all over with the man just a blurr above him given the blood and water flooding his vision, “I-I’m yours. Always yours, Negan.” he whispered, shaking all over and hoping that his words would be enough to appease the Savior Leader. 

The fingers in his hair rubbed his scalp in circular motions, and the words that he both longed for and dreaded came tumbling out of the killer, chilling him to the bone even though his body felt as if it were on fire, “Good Boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> . . . so, what do you think? Good? Bad? Intense? Please let me know down below! I have the next chapter written (that is a goal of mine, to have a rough version of the next chapter(s) written whenever I post one, to help me keep up with updating), so hopefully it will be up soon!


	7. Let's Up The Dosage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Rick has been literally and figuratively fucked. But Negan's not quite sure he gets it yet. So in true asshole/sadistic fashion, Mr. Bam-Bam is going to become Mr. Point-Out-The-Obvious before leaving our hurt hero to stew in his wounds and the severity of his situation. But not before he gives Ricky Boy a special kind of task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back. For those of you who are still with me and are still reading this fic, I want to both say thank you and sorry for waiting so long and patiently and for the wait itself. I was NOT expecting for it to take so long to post this chapter, mostly because I was not expecting to have copious amounts of writer's block and anxiety regarding posting it. I have played with this chapter, stared at the screen wondering just how to word things and just what to write, and even wondered if this chapter was worthy of the story. Not to mention worked on a Female Negan cosplay that has been so much fun to pull together (including getting a real leather jacket that I'll be wearing to Metal Shows, Game Shops, and Bars in addition to any convention or occasion that may deem cosplaying appropriate!), and am now working through making a Lucille with my boyfriend. He provided the materials including a bat blank found at an antique mall, and now we've sanded the beauty down, put on the pre-stain, and are going to put on a few more stains in between working and writing before wrapping barbed wire around her pretty body and nailing it into place. A fun project if there ever was one, but time consuming as well.  
> So here we are. Chapter 7 of this tale, which if you haven't noticed has had its name altered. There will now be a Part I and Part II of this story, with Part I's ending leading into Part II and Part II's ending leading back to the prologue. This was done so that this story didn't turn into a massive mass of words and story telling, and so that moments wouldn't be overlooked. So, in case any of you were wondering if I plan to continue this tale, believe me, I am. It's just taking some time to write and proofread. Which brings us back to this chapter. There is a lot of Negan gloating in it, I will go ahead and point that out, and at first I was worried that that would be far too repetitive, but then I figured "Hey, Negan's kinda an asshole, he's going to want to rub things in people's faces, it works." Which is how the first major Writer's Block was overcome. Now, if you think that it is repetitive, I apologize, please leave a polite critique down below. In spite of any perceived repetitiveness, I do feel that this chapter, as a transition chapter (which the next one kind of will be too) is necessary to the story for both moving it along and for implanting the reader into the emotions of the characters. So, please, sit back, enjoy, and comment down below! Or give me Kudos, both are appreciated!

Rick didn’t realize that he’d blacked out until the burning sensation of the dick pulling out of his ass dragged him back into his grim reality. He hissed, tears leaking out from shut eyes as his fists clenched before Negan jerked him back towards the edge of the desk furthest from the balcony doors. His mind raced, wondering if Negan would want an encore of what had just conspired. . . and wondering if he would physically be able to endure one.

When Negan walked away Rick opened his eyes, watching as the Savior Leader went over to the fireplace whilst pulling up his dark grey pants to where they were halfway up his thighs. A part of him was grateful for Negan leaving him on the desk rather than further assaulting him. Another part of him wasn’t quite willing to relax just yet. Everything was twisted with Negan, and even though he was walking away now the sadist could be right back, bringing more pain for Rick with him, in an instant.

He shivered as the gate blocking the fire from the rest of the room was dragged away, the metal releasing a shriek as it raked across stone. Turning back to Rick’s clothes, the black haired man grabbed the brunette’s boots, tossing them towards the door before grabbing Rick’s shirt’s remains and bringing them to his dick. Rick blinked, watching as Negan wiped his cock clean before turning and haphazardly tossing the tattered shirt into the fire before refastening his pants around his hips. The shirt was soon to be followed by Rick’s pants, boxers and socks. Grabbing the brown jacket that remained, the man looked at it for what seemed like an eternity before turning and tossing it into the hearth as well, watching the flames flare up as they engulfed the remaining piece of Rick’s wardrobe. Rick felt tears race from his eyes and over his broken nose as he watched the orange teeth eat away at a portion of his identity that Negan had in no more than 3 minutes tossed so flippantly into the hearth. He knew that Negan intended to break down his identity just as the fire broke down his clothing, only choosing to keep the parts that suited his dark intentions. Until he was done with those too, of course. Then, according to Negan, Rick would be dead but out on the fence surrounding the compound, mindlessly gnashing his teeth and keeping intruders away. Still serving the evil man even in death

Negan’s shoulders heaved in a sigh as he put his hands on his hips, gazing into the flames as they tore at the meal he’d just fed them before moving forward and dragging the gate back into place. Walking back towards the man lying on the desk, he watched Rick with pitiless obsidian eyes. A slight flicker of mischief in them let Rick know that the man wasn’t through with him, moments before he opened his mouth and began to poke at the wounded, shredded animal that Rick felt he was even more. He tensed. 

What would he give to have Negan merely accept that he’d won, that Rick had accepted that he was the man’s possession and be done with it. But no, in true sadist fashion, Negan was about to drive his ownership of Rick and the victory that entailed home, repeating the fact that he had won to Rick in his own callous fashion as a way of forcing Rick to accept reality once more. The physical torture of the evening might be over, but the man walked in a way that let Rick know that he was coming to provide Rick with a harsh emotional and mental session of pain. Rick shut his eyes tight and trembled against the desk, knowing nothing he did or said could hold the man off seconds before Negan began. He choked out a sob just as Negan began, wishing he’d just be done with him for the night.

“What’s wrong Ricky? Sad your fucking leader costume is gone? What, did that goddamn jacket make you feel motherfucking strong? Did those goddamn shitty ass boots make you think you could walk over any fucking obstacle you came the fuck across? Or was that just your favorite motherfucking shirt? Or was it the goddamn pants? Tell me did they make you feel strong like your fucking Daddy in them? Did that fucking shit make you think that no matter how big the goddamn boogie fucking man was you could still beat him? Well I got some goddamn motherfuckity fucking news for you Ricky. . .” At that he paused beside Rick, that cheshire grin of his having slowly slid into place during his small speech. Rick slowly opened his blue eyes to gaze up at Negan, silently pleading for the man to just let him be.

Leaning down and picking up Lucille with one hand before moving her back up and close to Rick’s face, merely three inches away from his nose, Negan hissed as he continued, “Those motherfucking clothes weren’t worth goddamn shit against me and my beautiful girl here. And now that they’re motherfucking gone, you’re just my sniveling little bitch, lying on my goddamn desk with your motherfucking ass in the air. I would say that you better not fucking forget that, you motherfucking piece of shit, but I know how goddamn hard some lessons are to motherfucking learn.

“You might think that you’ve goddamned learned it, but you haven’t. That rebellious streak will raise it’s fucking ugly ass head every once in a goddamn while and piss me the fucking hell off. It’s just a matter of goddamn time. But don’t worry. Lucille and I will be patient with you, no matter how many goddamn motherfucking lessons it damn well takes. It will not be a pretty pill to swallow, but we’ll make sure you motherfucking do just the fuck that. Now won’t we beautiful?” Negan murmured the last as if to a lover, and leaning the bat over Rick’s head, he ran its barbs against him, scraping at his bruised and bleeding skin. Rick closed his eyes and whimpered at the pain it caused to radiate through his head. 

Negan chuckled, moving Lucille away. Leaning down and reaching out with one hand, the man rubbed the side of Rick’s head with calloused fingers, pressing into any head wounds he came across and making Rick moan, closing his eyes tightly. “You know, you are gonna be a HELL of a lot of goddamn fun to fuck around with Ricky,” Negan hissed, smirking at the brunette who whimpered as Negan’s hand slid down towards his ass, his harsh fingers raking over his spine, “Fucking goddamn, you’re gonna be my new fucking favorite pet, I know you goddamn will. And it ain’t just about me sticking my goddamn dick into your little cockhole, you little piece of shit. . . although I gotta say I do motherfucking enjoy that. . .” at that moment, a hard finger jammed up into Rick’s sore hole and he whimpered, closing his crystal blue eyes as hot tears raced anew before that finger was followed by another.

His face contorted, his breathing growing deeper and more ragged as Negan twisted his fingers inside of him, pushing against the sore, raw, bleeding rectum of the man on the desk, “It’s about how I can fucking twist and turn you and get you to give me shit that is so raw and so goddamn emotional!” Negan shouted the last before shoving his whole fist into Rick’s ass, making the man whip his head around to where he was facing the window and cry out, yelping as his entire body tensed up. Moving his head away from Rick’s face, Negan rolled to where one arm pressed down beneath him onto Rick’s back,forcing the man to be pressed against the desk. Rick choked out a whimper as the air was slowly forced out of his lungs, pressing his broken face into the wood as Negan’s husky voice hissed over his ear as lightly as the wind but so much deadlier.

“And Ricky,” he moved his hand back a bit then slammed it into Rick again, making Rick grunt, head bowing as both Negan and the pain that shot through him made his body jolt, “I am going to so mother fucking enjoy wrenching every goddamn fucking emotional moment, sound, and face out of you. I know you don’t want to fucking give them to me, but just like with your motherfucking, sorry ass group, I’m going to take what I’m motherfucking due. One way or another. You can include them or not include them, it’s your goddamn choice,” the man chuckled at the words like they were the joke Rick knew them to be. The truth made them that way. Rick didn’t have a choice here, because the alternative option was unthinkable.

In spite of all the pain he was in and was sure to be in, he couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else from his group being in his position. That made the decision easy. “Goddamn understand me you little shit?” Negan murmured. Rick nodded, whimpering as the fist pushed further inside him. He vaguely wondered if the goal was for Negan to make it into his large intestine. . .

”Y-yes sir, I . . . I understand,” he whispered. Negan chuckled, and leaned back, the hand whose arm had been across Rick’s back patting the brunette firmly, “That’s motherfucking good. That’s what I like to goddamn hear. Good, fucking sensible reasoning. Helps to better the fucking training, and speaking of bettering the training. . . I have something for you to wear. Consider it a gift from me to you. Not like the goddamn clothes you were wearing earlier. Like I said, my motherfucking pets don’t wear clothes. But this is something for you to wear that I think will cause a hell of a lot of improvement in your new education’s motherfucking pace.” pulling out his hand from Rick’s asshole, the man wiped it in Rick’s curls and the faint smell of shit mixed with Negan’s own musk and cum met Rick’s nostrils. Holding back the urge to vomit, Rick panted, turning his head slowly to watch as Negan took a step away, fumbling in his pocket once his hand had been wiped clean.

Rick’s stomach turned at the Prong Training Dog Collar Negan pulled out of his jacket, the silver prongs gleaming in the light of the room like vicious teeth. The collar had clearly been elongated with additional prongs and he dreaded the reason why the elongation had to be done. “Picked this motherfucker up for ya in that town we stopped at,” Negan remarked, “I got it to help with your goddamn training. . .But we won’t need to fucking use it much, will we Ricky?” His dark eyes darted up, silently challenging Rick to do anything other than agree with him. Rick shook his head, biting his lip, “N-no sir. . .” he chanced a glance up at Negan, bloodshot crystal eyes pleading with the Savior Leader as he spoke his next words, “Y-you won’t need it at all. I’ll. . . I’ll do whatever you want,” he choked out a sob, shaking all over as Negan sighed and leaning forward gripped his hair in a tight fist, pulling Rick’s head back as he slid the collar over the man’s head, the prongs scraping Rick’s forehead and nose and making him hiss through gritted teeth as they came down to rest against his throat. 

“But I got it for you, Ricky baby. The least you could do is motherfucking wear it. . . and give me a goddamn ‘thank you’ for it. . .” He finished the last as a snarl before wrenching back on the ring linked to the collar’s chains, earning a gagging noise from Rick’s throat as he was yanked up off the desk by the man’s actions.

He moaned as the blood loss he’d endured on the desk along with the sudden change in position made his head spin. He groaned as his bare knees collided against the desk before they went slamming into the floor as he collapsed. Leaning forward, Rick sighed, the prongs digging into him as Negan stood above him, his spine and backside sending fire to his brain in protest at the quick changes in position. His hands fell to hang limp before him, his broken finger nails inches from the red carpet beneath him as he closed his eyes and tears raced down, both from the embarrassment he felt at the presence of the chain around his neck and the pressure it applied against his throat. 

Suddenly the collar was jerked up as Negan leaned down, making himself eye level with Rick, his dark eyes boring into the man’s crystal blues as they slowly reopened, “So what do you goddamn say Ricky? Come on, this is an easy fucking lesson. I suggest you motherfucking keep it that goddamn way.” Rick gazed at Negan, gulping as he licked his lips, his Adam’s apple sliding up and down and causing the prongs to scratch at his skin, “Th-thank you. sir. “ 

Negan smiled, “Better. Much better. Now. . .” Twisting around, the man stood, yanking hard on the chain and making Rick crawl to keep up with him as he marched quickly around the side of the desk. The red carpet passed beneath his fumbling fingers and pain filled eyes in a blur as his lightheadedness threatened to send him into darkness and as a result the floor. But he didn’t want to even think about what Negan might do to him should that happen right now. So, they moved like that for a while before he saw the bars of the cage door swinging open along the edge of his periphery. 

He let out a sigh he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, hoping that this meant Negan was finally done with him. . . at least for the night. He needed medical attention, his dizziness and the blood still flowing-though at a much slower rate- from his head were proof of that. But more than anything he wanted to rest and try to process things and figure out just what he was to do with the situation at hand. He couldn’t do that with Negan beating him, leaving his mind in scattered tatters of what it once was with each second of interaction. 

Negan grunted from up above him and once the cage was fully opened the collar was jerked towards it and Rick choked slightly before crawling quickly in, groaning as he made his way onto the old, soiled mattress lying there. He had no idea what the stains and smells upon it were, much less where they came from. But at that moment he didn’t care as he collapsed upon it, eyes shutting as he shivered against the rough material, longing for Michonne's arms as they wrapped up together beneath his comforter in Alexandria. Opening his eyes, rolling onto his side to watch Negan, he saw the Leader walk back towards the part of the room closest to the map on the wall. For the next few minutes all Rick heard were thumping sounds as the man moved things about. Rick breathed hard, closing his eyes and letting himself fade away for a moment.

Slamming came from nearby causing Rick to jerk awake, his senses suddenly on high alert. He had no idea how long he’d been out but now Negan was kneeling at the open door of the cage with a bucket of soapy liquid, some firm thick black gloves, light brown cloths, pliers, a staple gun, and a bottle of rubbing alcohol on the floor just inside the cage in front of him whilst Lucille was held firmly in his now cleaned and gloved hand. Rick tensed at the sight of her and Negan tossed her into the cage onto the mattress.

Rick jerked away, panting hard as his heartbeat shot straight back up, staring at the murder weapon. Even without Negan holding her the bat seemed to give off an ominous presence. “Listen to me, Rick,” the man muttered, but Rick only continued to stare at the bat. The condom still sat snug upon it, making her surface completely covered in blood and grime. Where his friends’ blood ended and Benny’s began, or where even his blood, piss, and shit were he had no idea. All he knew was that the mere sight of her and that dirty green condom made his ass tense at the memory of her being wedged up inside of him. 

“I told you to MOTHERFUCKING LISTEN!” Negan said in a louder voice, causing Rick to be jerked out of his trance with the horrific instrument of destruction, his frightened and tired eyes focusing on Negan instead. Negan smiled calmly, “Good boy. Now, I am about to have to goddamn go. My beautiful fucking wives are waiting on me to stick my dick into a few of their sweet ass pussies,” he smirked mischievously at that, “Although I must mothefucking say that if given the choice I’d love to stick it into that ass of yours again just a teensy fucking bit more. Or perhaps between those sweet crimson lips of yours. Damn I’d love to feel you choke around me. My cock is motherfucking goddamn twitching at the mere thought of it. . .” The man’s words forced Rick’s eyes to dart down to his crotch, where lo and behold his cock was starting to swell, the bulge rising against the Leader’s gray jeans. 

He gulped, shuddering at the thought that the man was getting off on his emotional pain alone, ass tensing at the thought of Negan grabbing his ankle and wrenching him out of the cage to go for Round 2. After all, the man obviously had no problem taking what he wanted. But for once his greatest fear wasn’t realized as Negan did nothing of the sort. Instead the man let out a long loud sigh that jerked Rick’s eyes back up to his own obsidian pits before continuing. 

“But mothefucking duty calls so that will have to just goddamn wait. I am NOTHING if not a fucking exemplary model of a husband. I will be back in the morning to feed you if I see fucking fit to do that and continue to motherfucking introduce you to your new role and the tasks it will goddamn entail. For now you can goddamn sleep here, but only after you clean Lucille the fuck off. She has had to do quite a lot of goddamn work over the past few days as you mothefucking well know, and although I like seeing her all dirty, she needs to be all goddamn shiny and new again to ensure proper fucking maintenance. So here’s what you are goddamn going to do for me before your fucking head hits that mattress, Ricky,” Negan muttered, and Rick stared at him in disbelief, the thought of what he was about to be asked to do for the man almost unthinkable. But then again, this was Negan, the man who seemed to do the unthinkable and demand it as a passion, so Rick kept his comments to himself as the sadist continued.

“You are going to take my goddamn pliers and pull out those staples holding her pretty red barbed wire in place. One by every motherfucking one. Then you are going to use the fucking gloves that I have so graciously provided for your motherfucking self to pull her goddamn wire away and clean it up all nice and pretty with this water here. Next, you are going to clean all the grime off of her, wash her the fuck down, and once she’s dried you are gonna fuckiong rub her down with this fucking alcohol. Once her motherfucking beauty treatment has fully goddamn dried, you are going to wrap that barbed wire back around her pretty, smoking hot body and lock it into place with this nice little staple gun here, and you are going to motherfucking do it without goddamn hurting her.

“And you are going to do ALL OF THAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING SHIT without so much as attempting to off yourself. Yes, I know it is tempting after the first initiation as my pet-hell even with warnings others have fucking done it- to just go the fuck out and away from all of this. . . But then, what fun would that motherfucking be for anybody? Certainly not for me. In fact, that would make me SO goddamn angry and pissed the hell off, and that would mean that you wouldn’t be fucking happy, even if you are dead. Because do you know what goddamn happens when I get angry Ricky boy? People die. Your people as a matter of goddamn fact. And what kind of heartless person would take the easy motherfucking way out and leave his asshole friends to suffer instead? Tell me, is that you, Ricky boy?” Rick gulped and shook his head, “N-no sir.”

Negan smirked, “Good motherfucking answer, Rick. So you know what’s about to goddamn happen? You’re gonna clean your friends, yourself, and the previous holder of your current position off of Lucille all nice and fucking compliantly, and then you’re gonna kneel before me and present her to me all shiny and new again tomorrow morning, ready to bash more goddamn motherfucking asshole brains in. Do you understand me? Understand what I’m motherfucking asking you to goddamn fucking do?” Rick shuddered and nodded quickly, lips shaking as he whispered back, “I. . . I understand. Y-yes sir, I understand.” Negan’s cruel smirk stretched out over his face and reaching in,he patted Rick hard on his bruised cheek, making the brunette wince, “Good boy. Now there’s a bucket. . .” 

He pulled out of the cage and as he locked it with one hand, pointed in the corner behind Rick and to the right. Rick slowly turned his head, staring at a steel bucket in the corner of the cage, “It’s your shit and piss can. I’m sure Benny Boy already fucking used it before you got here, but you can clean his shit and yours out tomorrow. I sure as hell won’t goddamn do it for you. Any body parts from Lucille can go in there too.” Rick turned back around, watching as Negan walked around the desk and out of his vision field, before the chandelier was turned off so that the only light in the room was that of the fireplace and the moon. “GOOD MOTHERFUCKING NIGHT YOU SORRY SHIT!” Negan shouted, moments before the door slammed closed.

Rick stared in the direction of the door for moments that stretched for eternity before turning to Lucille, staring at the bat as she lay before him, disgust mixed with horror forming like storm clouds in his crystal blue eyes. His body shuddered from the wounds dealt to him by the bat, and his mind was still reeling from seeing his two friends and now Benny get beaten to death by her. Bowing his head, pressing the palms of his fists against his eyes, he began to moan and yell into his drawn up knees, snot flooding from his nose. In that moment he no longer was Rick Grimes the leader, and without Negan there, his dark eyes dancing at Rick’s pain, he no longer felt the need to hold the expression of pain inside of him.

And so he began to weep. His throat grew scratchy as he wailed into his legs, curled up atop the dirty mattress that now also held his enemy’s murder weapon, the one that the man had literally and figuratively fucked him with. He wept for that fact, wept for Glenn, wept for Abraham. And finally, he wept for himself, until he became so lightheaded he slumped to the side of the cage, his forehead pressing to the bars and howling in pain as he gazed with blurry eyes at the bat and the things left to clean her, attempting to calm down with shallow, quick breaths that slowly evened out. He hadn’t felt this much despair even when he’d been backed into the dilemma of whether or not he was going to kill Shane. And this time it wasn’t his former best friend pointing a gun at him that was making his only option clear. Rather it was a sadist pointing a baseball bat at everyone else.

He rolled his head around so that the bruised and bleeding back of it pressed against the dark bars for a change as he gazed up at the moon and stars outside. Even through the glass he could still hear the sounds of night. Just two nights before he’d sat on his porch with Michonne, anticipating the new life they had thought they could lead over a bottle of Moscato. Now all that seemed centuries away. He choked out a sob, acknowledging that he didn’t even know if he’d see her again, or any of them again. He might see Daryl, perhaps, but for all he knew Daryl could be worse off than himself. He choked out a sob and turned to the bat lying beside him again and crawled closer, reaching over her and gripping the gloves Negan had left him. Had “graciously” left him, as he recalled the man saying. Something about gracious and Negan just didn’t go together. 

He gulped, closing his eyes and pulling the gloves on. He was going to have to swallow his pride and his objections, and try to be whatever the hell Negan wanted him to be. He would have to play along with the sadist’s dark intentions, at least until he could figure out a way to get back to Alexandria and lead a fight against him. 

Gritting his teeth, he picked up Lucille and the pliers before shuffling to the end of the cage nearest the shit bucket. Trying to refrain from wretching at the intense smell coming from the bucket combined with the smell of his own shit on the bat, he slid the condom off, tearing it slightly as he pulled it over the handle’s abnormal shape. Tossing the disgusting thing inside the bucket, Rick sighed and as his vision swayed betwixt blurry and clear he began pulling staple after staple out of the wood, trying his best to make straight pulls out of so that he didn’t damage the wood unnecessarily. He didn’t want to think about what would happen to him should he damage Lucille. For minutes that felt like decades, one by one the small pieces of metal fell into the pile of piss and shit in the bucket, making muted thumps as they found their final resting places in the pile of defecation.

Rick closed his eyes as the last one dropped in and began to pull the barbed wire off slowly, having to stick Lucille between his sore thighs in order to manage the wire with both hands, trying to ignore whose skin, hair, brains, and tissues were on it and the bat even as he pulled them out of the material’s grooves. One by one the pieces fell into the bucket as he forced himself to focus on the task at hand. The intensity of his focus made him sway multiple times until finally he breathed hard as he leaned against the bars of the cage, gazing with tired, weak eyes at the unwrapped bat as he continued to pull debris off of her wooden surface, choosing to lean against the cage rather than stay upright and risk falling into the bucket.

Finally he was done with that unlikeable task and groaning he shifted around, staring with half lidded, glassy eyes at the other end of the cage where the water bucket, alcohol, staple gun, and rags were. Groaning at the space that seemed far too long for him to crawl across, his head feeling heavier than it ever had before, the man groaned and forced his torn backside around to move stiffly towards the door of the cage. As he moved his world began to tilt again and he panted, eyes shutting tight as he bowed his head, trying to right himself. 

When he thought he was ok again the brunette lifted his head and moved forward at a slightly quicker pace, attempting to get there before another dizzy spell. Unfortunately for Rick that only meant he began to fall as his world swirled about him and he cried out upon slamming against the bars head first as they rang upon impact, feeling as though his skull had been split open. It was then that he felt it, the beckoning chill of unconsciousness. 

Negan’s demanding words and orders fresh in his mind, Rick groaned as he made one final attempt to stay upright. Earlier, unconsciousness would have been a dream come true, but what if he didn’t finish the bat? What would Negan do then? Dropping Lucille and grabbing for the bars, Rick panted, unable to get a good hold due to the congealing blood coating the gloves. So down the former Sheriff went, sliding down and slamming once again into the bars, making contact at the point of the bars just before they met the floor. That last hit did him in and Rick moaned as he fell out of consciousness, the faint sounds of the crickets outside the last things to enter his senses before he was dunked under the darkness and into the cold ocean of obscurity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I know I've said it before, but I am going to say it again. The next chapter will hopefully be up soon! I close the next three days at work, which should give me mornings to be able to focus on the next chapter more. I've already looked at it again (an additional time since writing the raw rough draft version) and am thinking that no perceivable writer's blocks will be found. But of course, I make no promises.  
> So what did you think of this chapter? Was it worth the wait? Ready to read more? Going to start to incorporate scenes from the show soon (maybe three chapters from now?), which of course means that I do not own the dialogue that is present in the show, but I will own the way I twist the scenes around.  
> Again, hope you all enjoyed the chapter, see you guys next time!


	8. Hold My Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . And Please Let It Go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I know that this post came rather quickly after the last one, but as a little heads up regarding what I will be attempting to do in the future. . . from now on, I will be ATTEMPTING to post a new chapter every Monday. But, as most of you might know, Writer's Blocks are a very real thing and so. . . *clears throat* attempting is the key word here. But regardless, you have this chapter now and so here we go!

Rick was in a dark void, numb as he hung in the black expanse. There was no ground beneath him nor walls surrounding him. No sky or roof above his head. He merely hung in the darkness. It felt as if he was floating in a great pool of water, muffled sounds not quite reaching him as if they were pushed away from him until they were hundreds upon thousands of leagues away. Yet there was no liquid surrounding him. He was simply there, a nonentity in the void. There was no time, no forward or back. And rather than fight it, Rick let himself fall into that embrace. 

Far too long he had felt both the responsibilities of leadership and the sense of powerlessness at not being able to protect those he was forced to have follow him. It was a responsibility that he had never truly wanted and yet he’d always felt it thrust upon him to the point where it felt more like stocks than a mantle. He had never had a real choice in the matter, had never truly wanted that position. The only reason he had denied it from Shane was to save his own life, and although he had few regrets regarding that death, the leadership role he’d had to take on afterwards had felt more like a punishment than a reward, driving himself to the brink of rage more than once. And no matter how much he appeared to upset the people around him, subconsciously wanting SOMEONE ELSE to take on his role, they had refused to release him from the pressures he felt. Even when he’d openly shirked his leadership duties at the prison in the hopes of being simply a father to Carl, the responsibilities had fallen right back upon him. 

Perhaps the worst part was that whenever something grim occurred, the blame had always been on him as if he’d wanted the job in the beginning. And along with that blame came the responsibility of accepting the consequences of the actions of the group, not just himself. That amount of accountability was daunting, especially when he hadn’t asked for it in the first place, or even wanted it for that matter. It had always been a role he’d had to take on out of necessity, right from the beginning.

But now, in the darkness he was free from all of that. He could let someone else take on the responsibilities of protector and leader. In the void, away from judgmental eyes he was himself and nothing more. He welcomed the freedom the void had to offer, and found that he would be content floating in it for all eternity given the alternative was what had been his reality for so long. Rick sucked in a deep breath of the stale yet fresh air around him and let it out slowly. 

As if sensing his contentment and wanting to end it, the words that had been so muffled before suddenly intensified in volume and clarity so that he began to hear them as he was suddenly pulled upwards. He couldn’t tell if the darkness was spitting him out or if something was pulling him out. Either way his soul ached as it knew the end result would be the same.

“NO,” he choked out, wishing to remain in the quiet darkness. But the pull continued and distinct voices began to echo across the expanse. Carl’s, Daryl’s, Carol’s, Morgan’s, Gabriel’s, Eugene’s, Maggie’s, Michonne’s, and Sasha’s voices came across the void to him, calling to him in words that at first he didn’t understand. Even people he didn’t expect to hear-for he knew they were already gone as casualties in his reign as leader- began to call for him: Glenn, Abraham, Aaron, Tyrese, Hershel, Beth, Andrea, Sophia, Shane, Lori, Dale. All of them calling to him, and as he continued to be pulled or pushed towards the top of the void, their words gained even more clarity. 

They were crying out for his help, all wondering why he wasn’t there for them. Why he had failed them as a leader, why he wasn’t fighting for them like they felt he should. Why he had let them fall into the hands of a monster. “I didn’t want to be, I still don’t. . . I can’t be. . . don’t you understand? I can’t be your leader, I can’t save you, I can’t!” He pleaded, wishing it could be true. And yet he knew it couldn’t be. No matter how much he tried to escape, he realized as he writhed in the invisible grip that encircled him and dragged him out of the darkness that he would NEVER escape those responsibilities. It didn’t matter if he didn’t want to be the leader, or if he couldn’t. He was. Life had forced that burden upon him and there was no taking it off. For him there was no way out. Still, he longed for it, longed for that comforting solitude. Longed for the time and place when he wouldn’t feel the responsibilities of being leader and protector.

Suddenly the voices melded into one, calling his name over and over. And as he listened, all male mannerisms fell away, leaving a voice not of any of the people he’d attempted to lead, but one he’d heard just recently, ripping him out of his subconsciousness and into a pain filled reality. “RICK!” Sherry shouted, grabbing his shoulder in one hand and his chin in the other, shaking him frantically as she attempted to wake him up, “Oh god, Rick, please! Wake the hell up!” 

Rick was jerked awake, frightened blue eyes flying open as he stared at the woman who had come to kneel in his cage, her dark eyes wide and staring at him. He saw a gruesome bloody mark on her right cheek and knew with grim realization that he had struck one of Negan’s wives as he’d tossed and turned in her grip. His breath came in quick, short gasps, spots forming in his vision as his mind tried to stable itself within reality. His head felt like it would crack open just from the effort. 

Beams of sunlight now illuminated the room, their light penetrating his pupils and causing him to squint, the light too much for his migraine to take without spiking. “Oh god, thank god you’re awake,” Sherry whispered, her face pale, “I-I came in. . . sn-snuck in, t-to check on you, and . . . god, I thought you weren’t breathing! Oh my god, there was so much blood. I. . . I thought . . . I thought you were too far gone!”

Rick breathed hard, “Y-you should have let me keep g-g” he failed to finish, darkness over taking him again as his head rolled back, out of her manicured grip. “OH GOD! No, stay awake!” she gasped, shaking him a few moments more. But Rick felt far too heavy to do anything more than a flicker of the eyes, groaning at the rough treatment. “Oh GOD!” Sherry gasped, dropping him onto the mattress and making sure he was a safe distance away from the bars, “I’m going to get Negan! Hold on! He’ll. . . he’ll take you to Carson!” she gasped, and he heard heavy footfalls as she backed out of the disgusting kennel quickly, the clang of the cage door shutting, and the small patting of footsteps as she rushed away.

As he vaguely wondered why the Hilltop doctor would be there and not at his own settlement Rick groaned and let himself fall out of consciousness yet again, head lulling back as his dirty curls lay against the mattress. As the sweet darkness slowly wrapped itself around him once more, he vaguely noticed that his left shoulder was pressing into Lucille’s removed barbed wire, it lying just beside his upper left arm as he pressed against it and the mattress. 

Remembering Negan’s words regarding how he needed to have her clean and rewrapped by that morning he groaned, hoping to fall out of consciousness before Sherry returned with the sadist in tow. As the door banged open and he heard a shout of words he couldn’t comprehend in a voice he knew and feared all too well, he finally got something he wished for as the darkness quickly overtook him, swallowing him in the peaceful ocean once again before the cage door was reopened, offering him the escape he craved. 

Rick found himself once again within the duty free void, his soul welcoming the cold. He longed to never leave that place, and in his mind he pondered why he felt he had returned there. Had he been here before? Had there ever been an end to it then? He hoped not. He hoped it could remain the way it was. Luckily, it looked like things might turn out that way. It seemed pretty endless now. . . It was then that sound entered the void and he moaned as his mind was slowly dragged back to the conscious world and all the pain that it held waiting for him. No, he didn’t want this, he didn’t! He wordlessly pleaded for the darkness to take him back within its cool embrace, but any pleas fell on the silent air and were forgotten. Instead his senses seemed to slowly re-awaken as he was plunged back into reality. 

His forehead felt tight and his nose gave soft throbs of pain like mini heartbeats, as did the rest of his body. It made him wonder what could have happened to cause such pain to be inflicted. Had someone attacked Alexandria again? What was going on? 

He sucked in a deep breath of stale air. In spite of all the pain grounding him in reality, the brunette still felt unnaturally light as the sounds around him melded into the light noise created by movement some distance away. He frowned, wondering who else had gotten harmed by whatever or whoever had harmed him. Were they the ones causing those sounds? He sighed, deciding on his next course of action-seeing as he felt he would have to at some point do it in order to take stock of the situation at hand and his eyelids finally didn’t feel like bricks bearing down upon his pupils. Slowly he opened his dulled blue eyes as he gazed up at a cream colored ceiling. Rick frowned. His ceiling in Alexandria was a gray color. And he didn’t think the infirmary ceiling looked like this either. . . it was as his ass twitched and the skin around his rectum gave a sharp spike of pain in retribution that recent events came flooding back to him. 

The flood of memory and the emotional pain that it carried with it gave him the beginnings of a new level of migraine and he moaned, closing his eyes again as he waited for the pain to pass. After what felt like a century it finally did so and he sucked in a deep breath through his mouth. Letting it out and opening his eyes once again, the ex-Sheriff gazed at the pale ceiling above him with a renewed, grim clarity as he tried to access his physical situation via what he could feel and see.

From what he could tell he was naked beneath a very light sheet placed on top of him, and a tightness he felt over the bridge of his nose and down near his chin let him know he had to have a breathing mask on. The horizontal pressure that crossed his shoulders, torso, waist, thighs, and calves made him think that he must be strapped to the surface beneath him, his arms firmly at his sides and his legs held in place against the surface beneath him to prevent movement of the legs or feet. 

In addition to said pressure, his arms also felt like they were being pinched. As he glanced his crystal blue eyes down at the left one he saw a clear tube with some sort of liquid flowing through it from an IV and into the major vein of the arm. A little ways up his arm from that spot was another IV tube, linked to another bag, this one filled with yellowish liquid. His right arm sported a tube with blood flowing through it and into him from that IV’s bag. He breathed hard through the mask, assuming that fluids, antibiotics, and blood had to be now linked to him via the IVs and their needles. That was his best guess anyway. He didn’t know the specifics of hospital care.

Tilting his head up and looking towards his feet he tried to take in the rest of his body. From what he could tell a firm plaster cast had been placed around his previously injured ankle and based on his touch sensations alone it appeared that bandage tape and gauze had been placed over the major wounds Lucille had left along his upper torso and crotch area. From the lack of any repulsive smells in his nose, he assumed he had been somewhat bathed, or at least his hair had been cleaned.

As his ears picked up a louder version of movement nearby Rick jerked his head up and to the left in the direction of the sound. Facing that section of the dirty curtain that surrounded his gurney, he watched and waited for more distinct noises and movement. As he screwed his forehead up to try to catch more of the sounds around him he winced, whimpering behind the mask as his forehead held a sudden tightness. Moving his head back against the stiff pillow beneath it he closed his teary eyes, relaxing his forehead to ease his pain as the sounds became clearer, accompanied by approaching footfalls.

“So how long is he supposed to remain here?” a cold voice could be heard saying and Rick darted his eyes back to the dirty curtain as it was pulled away quickly and Negan himself stepped through it, frowning at a tall, lithe man with a balding head of light sandy hair. Negan wore his typical attire, or at least the attire that Rick had come to associate him with, and the other man wore a long doctor’s coat.The two seemed unaware that Rick had awoken so for now he closed his blue eyes and listened to their conversation as best as his drug addled head would allow. 

“He will only just now be coming off of the anesthesia,” the other man stated in a detached, technical tone, “You need to understand, he suffered at least two concussions. That’s going to leave him extremely at risk regarding brain and bodily functioning, and he will be disoriented at times. He might even suffer from some bouts of memory loss. He needs his body to be relaxed and pain free in order to heal for a period of time before he can take on anything too strenuous again. That’s why he’s here in the first place and hooked up like this. You pushed too . . .” “Watch what you say Doc,” Negan muttered darkly, and Rick felt his body tense in response to the growl that accompanied the threat in the Leader’s voice regarding the doctor’s words. 

Unfortunately tensing was the wrong thing to do according to his damaged rib cage and he found himself coughing against the breathing mask, eyes watering to the point where tears leaked out between closed lids and down his cheeks. He honestly didn’t know if they were caused by the pain in his chest or the fact that his cover had been blown. Perhaps it was a little of both.

“Well look who the fuck is waking up,” Negan remarked, a jovial edge replacing the irritation he had heard from the man before. Rick grit his teeth, forcing himself to breathe in through his nose and out his mouth in an effort to calm himself down, hissing at the complaint that his reset nose gave him in response to the action. He shivered as a hard hand was placed over his bangs from his right side, pushing them away from his forehead and wiping cold sweat away from his brow. He knew whose hand that was even before the sadist spoke to him. “Open those blue eyes for me, Pet,” Negan said in a guttural, possessive growl.

He shuddered, not wanting to do so. But all the same he opened his glassy blue eyes, blinking away two tears that streaked down onto the pillow beneath him before looking through his blurry, unfocused vision at the monster within whose grasp he now lay, both figuratively and literally. His ass still stung from just what that meant. His breathing quickened as the palm against his head tensed and Negan’s fingers dug into his scalp. He moaned, eyes squinting at the pain as he gazed pleadingly up at him. Negan shook his head, tsking through his teeth as he frowned down at him, “Just couldn’t take a few fucking hits and some goddamn ass fucking, could ya? Not even enough to fucking clean Lucille off after she goddamn helped clear up your mistakes for you.” 

Rick shuddered visibly, his heart racing as Negan leaned down, hissing on his face, his stale morning breath hitting Rick and making his eyes blink rapidly, “And now you’ve also fucking gotten Sherry into trouble, you sorry ass motherfucker. She wasn’t supposed to be in that fucking room but for whatever goddamn reason she felt like she needed to check up on you, you little shit. Coulda fucking gone smoothly, she checks in on you, she leaves after you’re ok. But you weren’t ok, and you fucking hit her. I don’t like it when my dogs hit my ladies, you pussyass motherfucker. If it’s not ok for me to fucking hit them then you better motherfucking believe it’s not ok for YOU to!” 

At that his free hand snaked down to Rick’s and gripped Rick’s fingers between his own. As Rick’s eyes widened at the pressure that was then applied, Negan sneered, eyes going dark in his anger, most of the light leaving them. The man’s hand began to tremble and Rick paled at the display of pure rage, “For that I would normally motherfucking take your goddamn hand, but perhaps I’ll just break your fucking fingers instead. You won’t need ‘em right now any-fucking-way. I’m having Sherry fucking do your job- rewrapping Lucille- as punishment for her goddamn actions, without any goddamn gloves. Hope you’re fucking proud of yourself, you motherfucking bitch.”

As the fingers locked with his obtained an almost crushing pressure, Rick didn’t have a chance to feel proud, or sad, or guilty. Instead he tossed his head back against the pillow behind him, feeling pain start to streak through him from the base of his skull as it pressed against the rough material, panting with eyes shut as tears streamed down. Pain flooded over him, coming down to focus on the fingers of his hand as Negan began to bend them back to painful lengths, applying more pressure with each passing second.

“Please, please I didn’t mean too,” he whispered hoarsely, not sure if Negan could even make out his words from behind the mask. “What the fuck was that? Couldn’t goddamn hear ya,” Negan sneered and reaching down with his other hand grabbed Rick’s mask and yanked it away from his face. In spite of the influx of fresh air, that forced Rick’s lungs to work harder, straining against his injured chest as he began to gasp in gulps of air, whimpering between breaths as the strain on his fingers continued to build up. 

“Please,” he begged, his voice small and trembling like a child, tears streaking down from eyes shut tight in pain, his body arching up due to the pain and pressing against the straps holding him down, “P-please, I . . . I didn’t mean to hit her, I swear! I didn’t know she was there, otherwise I wouldn’t have. . . I swear I wouldn’t have if I had known! . . . Just please, please, no more, I . . . I can’t take any more pain. Please. . .” he opened bloodshot eyes and gazed at Negan pleading with dark eyes that held no mercy to give.

“Please, please don’t break it. I didn’t mean to do it, ask her, she’ll tell you I didn’t mean to,” he blubbered as tears and snot rushed down his face, shaking all over to the point where he started to feel the bed shake around him. His heart raced and his breathing became short and labored as he heard the metal railings of the structure rattling beneath him. 

“Negan, this won’t hel. . .” the doctor began and Rick prayed Negan would at least pause to consider what the other man had to say. He had actually forgotten the other man was there but now the other man might be his salvation from more pain. He clung to that meager sliver of hope. Apparently the Savior Leader had forgotten as well, or at least he acted like it as Negan ignored Carson and leaned down, sneering into Rick’s face once more, “You sorry fucker, I know you didn’t mean to. That’s why you still have the hand. But you’ve got to learn you sorry shit: anything you do, on purpose or fucking otherwise, is gonna have goddamn consequences with me.” With those words, Rick knew that any hope he had of Carson shielding him from his punishment had left the room. He wished it could have taken either him or Negan with it.

Rick felt his heart beating wildly in his chest, panicked eyes staring into Negan’s cold obsidian depths as the man continued to add pressure to his hand, which by now was popping in multiple areas under the strain, each pop sending a spike of pain to his brain, “Please, please no, I’ll do anything you want, I swear, just please don’t! Please!” he yelped, his voice growing high pitched in terror at what was about to transpire. Negan’s snarl was the only reply Rick received before he wrenched his hand around, his fingernails digging into the back of Rick’s hand. For a moment it seemed the two stared at one another, his dark merciless eyes gazing into Rick’s own teary blue ones. Rick’s breath caught in his throat, and he swore Negan stopped breathing as well, rage and anger at the man on the bed roaring within his eyes like a dark fire. Then the moment was gone as he grunted, gripping Rick’s fingers and twisting them with a jerk. 

Rick wrenched his head back against the gurney and screamed as the fingers of his right hand were dislocated, sending a massive wave of pain up his arm. His sore chest rose and fell rapidly as he gazed at the ceiling, shaking all over. He whimpered between gasps of wet, tear sodden air as he rode out the aftershock of the pain and Negan pulled away, turning to Carson, “Fucking patch him up. Up the goddamn pain medication if you fucking have to to help him heal. Contact me when you’re done and we’ll fucking decide how much longer he can motherfucking stay here. And don’t you dare goddamn tell me what the fuck to do again, you sorry ass. You might be a Doctor, Carson, and you might do a lot of motherfucking shit for me and my people. . .” 

In the corner of his vision Rick watched as Negan marched up to the Doctor, continuing to stomp into the man’s personal space until he had him backed up into a far corner of the curtains to his left, anger rolling off the Leader so intensely that Rick was partially surprised he couldn’t literally see the deadly waves. “But I can always grab another goddamn Doctor from that motherfucking place you left behind you sorry shit,” Negan growled, and Rick trembled at the dark intent laced within the man’s words, “You fucking goddamn remember that. Do your job, keep your goddamn motherfucking mouth SHUT, and you’ll be just fine. And your fucking son will be able to stay with those goddamn cowards and play with his little doctor toys. Just like you want him to.” With that he shoved the Doctor closer to Rick, Carson staggering as he did so, grunting un-appreciatively and rubbing his shoulder from where Negan had pushed him. 

Growling the Leader pushed through the curtain about halfway before he turned back to the two men, his dark eyes instantly focusing back on Rick who shrank back into the bed, eyes wide and body jerking with fear at the monster of a man across the makeshift room from him. Just those devil eyes being focused on him caused fear to grip Rick in far tighter a grip than the man’s hand had just had on his fingers. “You better be goddamn grateful that I’m even letting him patch you up so soon, you motherfucking animal. I should fucking let you stay like that for a moment, make you pay for what you motherfucking did,” Negan muttered, eyes narrowing, “What the fuck do you say to that?” 

Rick’s mind was racing a million miles a minute as Carson altered one of his IVs, pushing yellow fluid from a syringe into it of his IV bags. Rick darted his eyes over to the doctor, lips shaking as he began to feel the effects of the medication upon his brain. Grateful for the doctor knowing that Rick would need anesthesia in order for him to be able to work on his hand efficiently, Rick sighed as the soft embrace of the drug wrapped itself around his troubled mind, at first to the point Rick couldn’t even process what Negan had just said. When his quickly fogging up brain managed to process it though he shuddered, licking chapped lips as he turned his eyes back to Negan, whispering, “Th-thank you,” Negan tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, clearly expecting more. Rick gulped, adding a quick “sir” to the end of his statement. Negan smirked, “See you soon you sorry fuck.” Turning he marched out, whistling as he went.

Rick didn’t have much time to think of the irony of the jovial whistling and the rage he had just seen overtake the man. As his world tilted-or perhaps it was just his mind that did the tilting-he knew one thing: he hoped he would not be hitting Negan’s wives again any time soon. It was then that he noticed the aged hand moving the breathing mask back over his lips, Carson apologizing noncommittally as he hissed when the mask was pressed down onto the bridge of his healing nose yet again. 

As he began to breathe deep, slow breaths of the stale, medicated air, he noticed his world becoming darker, the edges of his consciousness being encroached upon by a cool darkness. It was so similar to the one he had felt before and yet somehow different and unnatural. Still, he willingly fell into the cold embrace of this new form of unconsciousness as he felt the doctor take up his twitching, broken fingers and begin to move them around. 

Rick floated in the sea of drugged unconsciousness for what felt like ages before he slowly began to rise to the surface of it again. He knew this feeling well, and although he disliked it-in that he was sure only more grim reality awaited him- he gave in to the feeling, giving up on the notion of pleading with the darkness to hold onto him tighter. He knew that wouldn’t work, so why bother? His mind was exhausted from the times he’d already tried to do that. 

As he neared the state of consciousness he felt something different- a strange pressure from up above as if something was trying to hold him down inside the void he had enjoyed the presence of for yet another short time. He longed for that void and welcomed the pressure. He would willingly fall back into the blissful sea. But the contrast to that pressure was still there, in that there was still something that was constantly pulling him back towards the living, an unbreakable tie that he could never sever. But it wasn’t the traitorous drive of his body to regain consciousness after being in the void for so long that formed this tie. Rather it was a voice: a forlorn, regretful voice. His breathing quickened as the voice he had come to know as Sherry’s became more distinct. He remembered deeply and vividly the effects of the last time he’d heard it and he groaned, his body tensing at the memory as the brunette began to speak.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble, and I REALLY didn’t mean to make any for myself. I was only trying to help, I swear Rick. I swear I wasn’t trying to hurt you any more than you already had been.” Rick groaned, opening his blue eyes slowly, his vision distorted upon awakening. Sighing he slowly rolled his heavy head towards her voice, to his right. His body felt like it was made of lead and for now turning his head towards her was the best thing he could manage in the way of acknowledging her presence. Sherry was sitting to his right in a dress similar to the one he’d originally seen her in, a form fitting black dress whose hemline came to just halfway down her thigh with two thick straps wrapping over her shoulders. It was at first glance a simple black sheath style dress, but upon further inspection it greatly accentuated her breasts and the length of it teased at what lay beneath the fabric’s folds. The clothing forced her body to scream confidence, which given the sorrowful look in her eyes, she didn’t currently feel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I took some liberties with Rick's unconscious moments, but that has always been a favorite of mind, describing and writing within the void that unconsciousness brings! I can't guarantee that I will linger in it for much of this tale, but there may be moments here and there where it pops up! Comments and Kudos are appreciated!


	9. Some Good Old R&R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And of course by that we mean Reawakening and Revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so this will be the first . . .TECHNICALLY Negan free chapter. Good, easy time for our dear Rick, right? Or will he find threats in other places? Get ready for a spoonful of sugar before the medicine is poured down and Rick's eyes are opened to a new darkness as it presents its place in his current situation.  
> And yes, I do know that I am two days late. . . sorry readers! It was not my intention! But when your predictable work schedule of Mondays off is changed, well, it kind of fucks around with scheduling. Hope this chapter is worth the wait!

As his mind began to clear itself of its drug induced haze Rick noticed something odd about Sherry, or at least odder than usual due to the fact that their situation was anything but normal. Everytime he had gone to the hospital to check in on a friend he had felt compelled to place a hand upon them as a way of silently reassuring them that he was there for them. That felt so different from merely standing by a person and offering comforting words. The latter felt less personal. That to him had always made it unacceptable to not touch someone you visited in the hospital. And now, contradicting that assumption, Sherry wasn’t touching him. 

In fact it seemed that she was making sure she didn’t touch him, perched safely away from his IVs with her hands grasping her knees. Those hand were covered in bloodied gauze and bandages, and Rick had to guess that they were there to help her wounds procured from wrapping Lucille as they healed. 

Her worried eyes focused on his dull ones and she sucked in a shuddering breath, contracting and stretching her unnaturally pale cheeks. Her entire face held an abnormal coloring, as if she had applied large amounts of concealer to it in an attempt to hide where he had struck her. Or at least, that’s what he thought. In spite of its attempts to clear itself, his mind still felt fuzzy from the painkillers so he couldn’t be sure. Maybe she really looked normal. Or maybe it was the light from the fluorescent bulbs above that made her look so pale.

Sighing behind the mask, he moved his attention to himself, ready to inspect just what had been done to him since the last time he had been conscious. He had the same IVs from before, but now he did not just have the red cord attached to his right arm. He had another clear cord in that arm as well. He blinked, lifting his right hand slowly, partially not wanting to see it and acknowledge the painful experience from before whilst at the same time wanting to survey what had been done to fix his ill-received injury. He sighed, looking at the heavy bandages wrapped around his right hand, being able to see and feel splints that had been placed around his fingers to keep them in line whilst he healed in spite of any movements he might make. Following his gaze to his hand, Sherry grit her teeth and moved her focus back to Rick, 

“The extra cord is antibiotics to fight off any infections from your opened wounds. Carson added it to your regiment and upped the painkillers he had already started you on after Negan came to take a look at you. . . Even though Carson recommended that you stay here longer to recover unhindered, Negan said he wanted you back in his office by the end of next week, whatever it takes. And Negan. . .he . . .” she sighed and bowed her head, shaking it slightly, “Well, in case you can’t tell, Negan always gets what he wants. One way or another,”” she muttered the last in a resigned way, like it was a truth she had been forced to accept. 

For a moment she sat there, her fingers tapping against her bare knees, gazing at the floor as if ashamed of something. The moment lasted for only a second, and then her dark eyes refocused on Rick’s, her hands moving together to clasp one another over her knees, her thumbs twiddling with each other. Sucking in a deep rattling breath, she paused for a moment before continuing, as if pushing her shame aside to continue on her quest of telling Rick whatever it was she’d come there to say.

“I don’t know if you heard me before, but I’m sorry for getting you in trouble. I was just trying to check on you,” she said in a voice devoid of most emotion. There was a twinge of guilt in it but nothing more, and because of that Rick wasn’t sure if the guilt he saw in her eyes was genuine or just an illusion created by his drugged state of mind in response to the tone of her words. 

‘But even if you do feel that way, then why? Why do you even care?’ Rick’s tired mind wondered. In spite of him not voicing such an opinion her dark eyes flickered with recognition as they accurately gauged his unspoken question. She sighed, flicking her hair over her shoulder with a jerk of her head, looking at the curtain across from her rather than at him, as if looking at him for too long was upsetting for her. And maybe it was. 

Maybe him being literally strapped down to the bed was an expression of what she figuratively felt like. Maybe it was too much of a reminder for her regarding how trapped she was. Or maybe she just felt like she was above this apology-or whatever it was supposed to be-and wanted to be away from him. Maybe it was a little bit of both? After all, Rick figured she couldn’t be fully innocent. She was married to the monster who in some way had put him in this position, after all. Maybe that meant that on some level she agreed with what Negan did. She sighed and turned back to him, “ I know what you’re thinking.” Rick’s eyebrows raised involuntarily. Did she really? 

She rolled her eyes, nodding as if agreeing with what she was about to say, “Me worrying about you enough to apologize sounds weird. I’m with Negan, why should I care? On that note, why would I even have bothered to check on you then, or why would I check on you now?” She bowed her head, reaching up with one hand and running the fingers of it through her dark locks.

“I mean, I got in trouble then and could get in trouble now. Negan only thinks I came to see Doctor Carson about my hands, if he knew I was visiting you he’d be furious. But Rick, you need to know. . .” she looked back up at him, her eyes imploring him to listen to what she was about to say, “Things aren’t what they seem here. We might be with Negan-hell, I’m definitely with Negan-but it’s not always because it is our Plan A. Sometimes it’s our back up plan to our back up plan. I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s not as clear cut a choice as it might seem. We don’t all do things-we aren’t all a part of the Saviors- solely because we want to. We do things-we join the Saviors- because we need to. It’s something we do so that we can survive. Sometimes to do that, you have to just do what he wants.”

“And if you do, he’ll take care of you,” the voice of the Doctor sounded, seemingly picking up where she had left off. Rick groaned, rolling his head over to gaze at the man as he entered the makeshift room. Carson locked eyes with Sherry who slowly stood up from the bed, looking at him expectantly. Holding out a white stick over Rick and between them, he spoke, “You need to go now Sherry. I need to speak with him about his recovery, and Negan will wonder about you if you take too long here. I promised you the time it would take for this test to be completed and you knew I couldn’t give you any more of it,” he remarked as if feeling the need to defend why he had cut into their conversation.

Sherry nodded, “I understand, thank you, Doctor.” She took the stick from him and Rick blinked, acknowledging it as looking like some kind of pregnancy test. He remembered Lori buying them when they’d been hoping for a baby the first time. His eyes moved to her, unable to stop the curiosity from forming inside himself at what result it might bear upon the stick, mirroring the curiosity he saw in the brunette woman’s eyes. But hers wasn’t the happy curiosity that he and Lori had felt. Rather, this was one of apprehension as she inspected the test. He understood that worry. After all, he assumed that only one person could be the father of any of her children and he highly doubted that the world needed a little Negan running around bashing people’s heads in. 

After looking at it for a few quiet seconds during which the room was so silent one could hear a pin drop, she gave a sigh of relief, shoulders sagging, “Oh thank GOD.” Quickly she moved to the curtain to leave, then turned and looked back at Rick one more time, gazing at him with pity replacing the guilt he’d formerly seen in her eyes, “Be safe Rick. Just do what Negan and Carson say, they’ll take care of you. And always know,” she sucked in a shuddering breath and let it out, a flicker of pain flashing through her sorrowful gaze, “It can get worse. Oh God, it can get so much worse.” Rick heaved a heavy sigh from behind the mask. He would follow Sherry’s advice but her words regarding Negan getting worse fell far short of the level of consolation expected from words typically left to someone awaiting recovery.

Turning, the woman opened the curtain and walked out. Carson jerked the curtain closed behind her as he turned and marched over to Rick, back stiff and his face expressionless, “Listen to me and listen well. I’m going to tell you what I did to help you and what you need to do to get better, and will only go into such depth once. In other words, listen to what I say, don’t mess up your recovery, and you should be fine.” Rick had to hold back a scoff at the man’s words. He doubted he would be in charge of anything he did from here on out but if the doctor wanted to inform him of how fucked up Negan had gotten him physically who was he to argue? His silence seemed to be the only go ahead Carson needed to begin his speech.

“For starters, you didn’t just twist your ankle like Negan previously thought. You fractured  
it ,” Carson said in a voice devoid of any emotion other than disapproval, taking out a  
stethoscope from his pocket and putting its two earpieces in before leaning down and pulling the thin blanket from Rick’s chest. Rick tensed as the cold metal found his naked chest, breathing in a deep breath as Carson continued his inspection. 

He blinked as he watched Carson look at his silver watch as he listened to Rick’s heartbeat and breathing patterns. Pulling away he began to undo the straps around Rick’s shoulders and torso, muttering “Don’t try anything,” in a way that let Rick know he didn’t really expect the injured man to do anything but comply.

Sliding his long arm behind Rick he leaned him up, making Rick’s back pop and causing a groan to rumble from Rick’s chest before the doctor’s other arm snaked across Rick’s front to help hold him steady. Rick jerked as the cold end of the stethoscope was placed in the middle of his back, and understanding the unspoken command the brunette closed his eyes and breathed in deeply before letting the air leave his lungs. He winced as he did so at the pain it caused in his tight chest. 

“I righted it as best as I could and put it in a splint and cast for you,” Carson continued, “The longest time those will be on is 6 weeks, but they might come off earlier if you elevate the ankle when you can and keep most of your weight off of it.” he let a pause hang in the air as he slowly moved Rick back onto the pillow with a sigh. Rick understood the unspoken comment that that silence screamed.

Carson doubted- much like Rick doubted himself-that Negan would let him recover the way the physician was prescribing. Rick began to feel a little bit of pity for the man. He knew from experience that working hard towards something could seem futile when the chances of things going the way you needed them to were slim to none.“Once they are off I will then give you therapy exercises to perform when you have the chance in order to help your muscles strengthen,” Carson finished, pulling the covers back over Rick.

“As for your rib, I realigned it as best as I could and took a sample of fluid from your chest cavity to ensure there is no internal bleeding. There isn’t any and the rib should heal on its own. The pain medication and antibiotics I’m giving you should help quicken that recovery. They should also help your skull with its recovery areas at the base of your skull and forehead. Speaking of your forehead. . .” 

He moved a gloved finger to hover above and point at Rick’s forehead, “I have put 10 stitches in to help close up your wound here. If you try to avoid striking it, the process of recovery should be complete and the stitches should be coming out within two weeks. So try not to hit it on anything and open it up. I would say try to avoid any more immediate tears to your anus to improve its healing, but that’s unlikely to be an option.”

Rick sighed, closing his eyes, feeling extremely tired although he had just woken up. He doubted he would be able to help with the head injuries any more than the anal ones, but he would try to avoid Lucille at all costs, regardless. Honestly he felt that had been the plan from the beginning, it just wasn’t going that well for him.

“As for the concussion you sustained-which along with your blood loss caused your dizziness- it will only be aggravated by too much brain activity, so I suggest you try not to overexert yourself physically or mentally. Or at least, no more than is required of you,” Carson continued, and Rick opened his eyes slowly, gazing with his glassy depths at the man as he frowned at him, hovering over him, “In other words do as you’re told and Negan and I will take care of you.” Rick blinked, raising his eyebrows and mentally noting that that was not the first time he had been told that in the past few minutes. Moving his lips he managed a muffled thank you through the mask. 

Carson frowned at him, “Oh you’ll thank me. And if you want the pain meds to keep being used on you you’ll keep thanking me, once you’re well again.” Rick’s eyes widened at the flash of dark intent in the doctor’s eyes, replacing the cold detachment he’d seen there just moments before. He grit his teeth and Carson leaned down, muttering at him with his head hovering just inches from Rick’s face as a hand rested on the portion of the blanket above Rick’s left thigh, sliding slowly up the inner leg, “What I mean is this: those meds are not easy to come by, and if you want to keep getting them. . .” he began, his hand darting over to the edge of the bed and under the covers to grip Rick’s dick painfully, making Rick moan and close his eyes.

“You’ll do whatever the fuck I want you to and keep quiet about it,” Carson hissed, “And don’t you even think of running to Negan. He would only laugh if you told him, you filthy animal. Sure, he might give a shit if someone touches his wives but he could care less about me taking his little pup out for a goddamn walk. Hell, he might even thank me for keeping you ready for him,” the Doctor paused at that and Rick’s glassy blue eyes moved to the ceiling as he shuddered, unable to bring himself to continue to look at the man’s face full of dark intentions as the lewd words poured from his mouth. The brunette gazed with miserable eyes at the ceiling, unable to bring himself to care about disrespecting the Doctor by diverting his gaze. Luckily Carson didn’t force him to refocus on his face. Rather he leaned forward, hissing venomously in Rick’s ear words that chilled Rick to the bone.

“That means that each time I call you in for a goddamn check up and slide my thermometer up your ass, you’re going to put on a show for me you little whore. And if I ask you to suck my popsicle stick, you are gonna goddamn do it like you’ve wanted it between those puffy lips since before you can remember. You will be showing me just how grateful you are for the things I’m doing for you or I’ll stop fucking doing them for you. I will cut you the hell off, do you understand me? Then, Negan will continue to make your life painful and poor Doctor Carson won’t have ANY pain medicine or antibiotics to make you better. Now, do you understand your position?” 

Moving his free hand up the Doctor gripped Rick’s cheeks firmly and jerked his head so that he faced him so fast that his vision swam once more as the world moved about him. Rick panted hard behind the mask, staring at the man as a grim smile crossed Carson’s face and pain radiated in the former Sheriff’s cheeks.

Carson sneered,“Your choice is simple, you dog. If you don’t do what I want, you’ll just keep getting kicked around until you die. Then Negan will move on to someone else from your group and keep going on down the line of potential victims until all of them have been tortured and destroyed. So I will ask you again, do you understand your position here?” Rick stared at the man, shuddering at the doctor’s words.

He hadn’t thought Carson was a good guy per se but his words chilled him in a way the brunette had never expected. “I said ‘Do we understand one another?’” The doctor hissed as he twisted Rick’s dick, making the wounds upon it open up as it was bent and causing Rick to let out a choked whimper, tears streaking down his cheeks and over the doctor’s fingers as he nodded quickly. 

Once again he had been faced with a dilemma that wasn’t a true dilemma, and once again a farce was being put on with him reluctantly becoming the star as he “chose” his only true option. Carson chuckled and sliding his hand down from Rick’s face, patted Rick hard on his sore chest, making the brunette groan. “Good, you keep up that attitude and everything should be fine,” at that he walked away from Rick who gave a shuddering breath as he laid his head back against the bed, gazing at the ceiling with dull eyes and pouring over the Doctor’s words in his mind.

At first he had perceived Carson’s comment about Negan laughing at him should he out  
the man as an empty threat that the Doctor had said in the hopes of keeping Rick quiet. Negan seemed far too selfish to want to share Rick, and a part of him doubted that the man would allow Carson to fuck him. But then he had to wonder: Could Carson fucking Rick be a part of Negan’s plan to break him? To take from him any sense of true relaxation between Negan’s constant assaults on his psyche? If that was Negan’s idea of a plan, it wasn’t one that was necessary. 

He would comply with Negan regardless of Carson fucking him or not. But could he tell that to Negan and avoid punishment at the same time? What if talking about what Carson had said was against the rules Negan had formed in his sadistic mind? What if talking about what Carson had said got Rick, or got Alexandria, in more trouble whether he knew that it was against the rules to speak about it or not? He shuddered, imagining Negan’s full wrath being taken out on the community. Simply put, that was NOT an option.

‘I’m going to have to do what he wants, whatever it is. Anything else is too risky at this point,’ Rick mentally acknowledged as the oxygen was pumped into his mouth through the mask. In that moment it still seemed like such a small price to pay for the safety of those he cared about. At least until he could find a way out of the mess he found himself in. Unbeckoned, Sherry’s words came back to the forefront of his mind: ‘We don’t all do things-we aren’t all a part of the Saviors-because we want to. We do things-we join the Saviors-because we need to. To survive, sometimes you have to just do what he wants.’ Rick wondered how many times that statement would ring true for him here. 

The next four days passed by in a blur for Rick. The next time he awoke after Carson’s “talk” with him, his straps were for the most part gone, with padded cuffs the only things restraining him as they were buckled around his ankles and wrists, elongated straps leading from them to the gurney to allow for minimal movement. In the moments between his drug induced naps Negan never visited him, which was relieving. Nor did Sherry pay him a second visit, but he really didn’t expect her to in the first place. Although she had been apologetic to him, her words to him had had made clear to him one thing: though she might pity him, at some point it would have to be every person for themselves with the Saviors. Given that thought, he understood her refraining from visiting him. He highly doubted that Negan would allow visiting hours. 

Even Carson didn’t visit him much other than to change out the bedpan he was forced to use and bring him what could only be described as the most disgusting nutritional smoothies Rick had ever had, all of which left a disgusting after taste in his mouth. Carson often took that time to check on Rick’s wounds and their progression regarding healing after Rick was forced to take a makeshift bath with the doctor watching him, taking a wet soapy cloth and ridding his body of any feces, urine, or sweat that may be on it.

He often tried to perform that task as quickly and efficiently as possible, attempting to hide as much of his body from the perverted doctor as he could whilst at the same time trying to clean his body thoroughly enough to prevent sores and infections. During the attempts Rick made at blocking parts of himself from the man’s eyes the doctor scoffed and Rick supposed the man’s skepticism did have some logical foundations: he had already seen the brunette naked, why would it matter if he did or didn’t see more of the man on the bed? 

Still, given the man’s future demands regarding his body Rick wanted to keep some sort of distance between himself and Carson for as long as he could. Once that task and the following inspection had been completed, he was normally left with a plastic cup of ice cubes as a feeble way of sating his thirst.

Whenever he was awake and without a visitor his drug addled mind wondered about what Daryl might be going through, or where the Archer even was. He hoped Daryl was better off than he was and hoped the Archer was able to see some way out of his situation. Any thoughts were mere speculation of course, as Rick was unable to see much of anything past his curtain. 

The best he could really do regarding his own situation was assume that his gurney wasn’t the only makeshift patient bed in the room. At first it was because he figured there had to be a reason for the curtain, but as time passed and Rick began to hear some muffled sounds from the sides of the curtain to his left and right, that suspicion was confirmed even more. Unfortunately in his current state he couldn’t hear much more than a blur of sound, and certainly couldn’t make out tones of voice or the words formed by the speakers, and his analysis of the “infirmary” didn’t go much further than that before he blacked out again.

On the fifth morning, or rather what he thought to be the fifth morning given he had already had twelve smoothies and he guessed that that meant four mornings, four lunches, and four dinners had passed, Rick woke up to a sight other than a cream colored ceiling hovering above him.   
Rather he awoke on a hard, red carpeted floor, his IVs-minus the one that had held blood for him- hanging from hooks up above him via a temporary clothing rack stretched across the inside of the top of a makeshift kennel. 

Rick tensed, eyes widening as he stared at the bars surrounding him,and the morning light streaming in through them from a sun that hung in the outside sky just beyond two french doors. He began to breath quickly, his body tensing all over as he acknowledged where he was moments before the heavy doors to the room opened and Negan’s voice was calling to him, “Awake yet, Pet?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, some things from the show stay the same in my tale, and Carson's fiery death in the furnace for the most part will too. He gets what's coming to him, in other words. . . .Eventually. As for Sherry, her actions and concern for Rick are explained later, and no, there will be no romantic entanglements! Next chapter Negan takes the stage again and bam! We are back into Pet Training! (I literally heard my mental representation of Negan murmuring over my shoulder "I'm baaaack." Yes, you are Negan. . . good boy.) So, brace yourselves! Going to try to get it posted Monday, but if work doesn't comply enough for me to be able to do that, please know I'm trying!


	10. I Need You To Know Me. . .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> . . . a little bit more.   
>  So Rick has woken up back inside his Kennel to a brand new day, and a brand new lesson. And just to keep things interesting, Negan decides to turn that lesson into a little game, a game with sweet rewards and grim punishments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it has been a while since I last updated. . . a LONG WHILE. I deeply apologize for the long wait, and am extremely sorry if any of you wondered if this story was going to continue or not. I hope the posting of this chapter does confirm the continuation of this story, and feel that you are owed an explanation for the lateness of the chapter:  
> In addition to the events of a full time job that can be helluva lot of stress. . .  
> My boyfriend got fired from a job (which he hated but that was still a source of income), primarily because he got stung by a wasp at a delivery place and tried to point out to HR the safety issues he has experienced, RESULTING IN TERMINATION. . . leaving him a moody, angry mess. So, been leaving work and coming home to help him with that. . . And it did happen right smack dab in the week after his birthday. . .  
> My 26th birthday rolled on through on the 22nd, which means that I got to go into the world of Health and Dental and Vision insurance for myself. Finally got that all sorted out. . . What a present. . .  
> Oh yeah, and since I use my beloved's laptop to work on this tale, and he has been home almost all the time I have been home and has been on it watching stuff with me or applying for jobs or filing for unemployment, I have had almost no access to my story, which means that the huge writer's blocks regarding this chapter have taken FOREVER to sort out. And believe me, they have been huge. . . parts of me still wonder if this chapter is worthy of you guys. . .  
> So yep, that's been my July. . .  
> Now, in the positives!  
> I have a new Betta Fish! Actually it's my first fish, in spite of the fact of me being a manager in a pet retail shop, I have never gotten an animal from there to take care of in my free time. But now that I have him I love my little baby, and he is definitely an Alpha Betta (super aggressive and loves to flare out. . . he has attacked both his snail "Lucille"(she was quickly returned before he could kill her) and his own ornaments, the latter actions resulting in me treating him with antibiotics so that his scars don't get infected, cutting up tablets into portions that are appropriate for his tank size. . . all the powder that was spread out as a result of it seriously did not look like medicine, if you catch my drift). Wouldn't trade him for the world, and he has been a wonderful thing for me focus on! He is a black bodied red finned Crowntail Male Betta, and, if you haven't already guessed, he has a skull as an ornament that I call "Glenn", and a miniature dollhouse bat leaning against it. He is flaring and rushing around his tank as I type, just like he does when I need to be perked up. . . and his name is NEGAN! I love my little angry aggressive Alpha Betta! I take pics constantly and post them on social media, he is without a doubt easily one of the loves of my life! Has an attitude, knows what he wants to eat and when he wants to eat it. . . he is just so perfect! Now I have two tanks set up for Deathstroke and Jareth Bettas right beside his, and am waiting to find some equally Alpha Bettas for this guy's distant brothers! I shall not have ugly babies, and will settle for nothing less than two more beautifully handsome Crowntail males. . . This is Week 3 of my search.  
> I also have completed my Negan Halloween Cosplay (minus wrapping real barbed wire around a stained bat. . . but really I have to use a McFarlane replica for the costume in public anyway. . . Something about a bat wrapped in real barbed wire sets people on edge. . .)! Got the jacket, got the shirt, got the scarf, got the jeans, got the boots, got the glove, got the black hair that I have been dying that way for a long time now! And of course, got Lucille! Boyfriend has a metal band Halloween show at a local bar, where there will be a costume contest, so I also have a place to wear it all!  
> And finally, I have time. Time to work on this story and make it as perfect as it can be. Time to focus, and work on chapters. Because my Boyfriend has a job now, as an overnight truck driver! I get to see him in between (although I do find that I miss him and we will be working through a couple's book as he works this job(where you write your story essentially by asking questions), not because we are having any issues, but because the last time we did it we had so much fun and bonded a whole helluva lot), and the time apart gives me time to straighten my stuff, get tasks done, and of course, work on Metamorphosis. Not an ideal situation, but it is definitely gonna work out!   
> I know this has been a long note, but I feel you all deserve an explanation for your wait. So now, sit back, and enjoy this chapter, which is only a third of the chapter originally intended for this post. But you know, kept working with it, tweaking it, adding stuff in. . . all for your enjoyment, I hope!

As Negan’s voice was followed by the sound of the Leader’s firm footsteps walking towards him Rick’s breathing started to compete with his heart rate. He ducked his head, closing his eyes and cradling his swollen hand against his chest as he curled up on the floor. In that moment he didn’t care if it made him look like a child hiding from the Bogeyman. All he could do was remember all too well what had happened the last time he’d seen the sadist. His hand throbbed at the memory of Negan jerking his fingers out of place. 

As the black haired man’s boots stopped near the door to the kennel and the sound of Lucille rattling across the door’s bars met his ears Rick winced, his whole body jerking at the sound before he twisted his neck and tilted his head up to gaze up at the man outside the cage with shaky blue eyes. His breathing seemed to stop all together as he gripped his hand tighter, fear and panic rolling over him in suffocating waves. 

Negan chuckled and let a slow smile cross his face as he looked at the man lying on the kennel floor, his gloved hand reaching down and undoing the latch of the cage before swinging the door open, the metal hinges creaking ominously as he did so. With that minor barrier moved out of the path between him and his target, the predator’s obsidian eyes grew darker with his intentions as any spark of hope seemed to be dounced within them, his body radiating anticipation and eagerness to continue “training” Rick. 

Even though Rick was only a few inches shorter than the man leaning down beside the cage in less than a week he had been made to feel like a child trying to hide from the monster in the closet. It fed the standing man’s ego and left him craving more of that feeling of authority.

Rick stared at him as Negan looked in on him, a raging force of nature bundled up like a spring, just waiting to continue his assault upon Rick’s body and mind. He imagined that there must be a million thoughts and ideas running through the Savior Leader’s mind, but if he was right then Negan had perfected his poker face: his face remained emotionless, not revealing any hints about what was to come. But Rick was sure that it would be painful, whatever the future events might be. With Negan it was always painful. . . It was as he contemplated this that Negan opened his jaws and let words as smooth as velvet float over his tongue.

“Well rise and motherfucking shine you little shit. Did you goddamn sleep well?” Negan chuckled at the audacity of his chosen words and Rick shuddered, blinking with worried eyes at the devil incarnate as he continued, “Well, goddamn ready or not, it’s time for a brand new motherfucking day. Now, is this going to be a good fucking day or a bad fucking day?” His cold eyes focused on Rick’s blue ones and Rick sucked in a deep breath before licking his chapped lips. 

His entire body shivered in anticipation for what might be on Negan’s itinerary and as Negan moved to crouch in the open door way, expectation radiating from those dark pits he called eyes, Rick knew this was a question he would be required to answer, and only in the way that the other man deemed acceptable. “I want it to be good day,” he whispered. And that was the truth. He didn’t know if he could handle a bad day. . . 

The cheshire smile crossed Negan’s face and he nodded, “Well hell fucking yeah you sorry shit. I goddamn want that too. Now, do you want to goddamn know how it can start being a good motherfucking day?” Rick shuddered and nodded. 

Negan smirked, luckily not seeming to require a more verbal answer as he leaned closer and flicked a finger against one of Rick’s IV tubes, “To goddamn start with, you can get those motherfucking drugs out of your goddamn arms you little bitch,” he muttered in a husky tone, a frown crossing his features to replace the grin that had been there moments ago.

“Each goddamn second we have these fuckers sending their goddamn fluids into the mongrel you are it’s depleting our goddamn resources- MY GODDAMN RESOURCES-and so I’m not gonna motherfucking have them stuck in you any fucking more than I goddamn have to. That pussy ass motherfucker Carson said you still goddamn need them, and that’s why they are still fucking inside you now. And just because I’m a motherfucking saint I’ll let you have them in you in your goddamn down time as much as he motherfucking says you need them in you. But not in the time in-the-fuck-between. I don’t believe in spending too much on a motherfucking mutt and I want your goddamn mind clear for what’s gonna fucking happen today. Got some goddamn things I want you to fucking remember you little shit. Now do you motherfucking understand that shit? Do you goddamn get it?” 

Rick nodded slowly. The thought of getting off of the IVs and allowing the pain from injuries past as well as any pain Negan was about to deal out to him made his heart race but he knew there was no point asking Negan to reconsider his decision. He knew all too well that that could lead to the man taking the IVs away from him permanently, Carson’s orders be damned. 

Negan smiled, his eyes glittering darkly, “Good. So get to goddamn work, you fucking bitch,” Negan leaned into the cage and took out some things from the right pocket of his jacket before he tossed them onto the floor between them. Rick sighed and rolling over onto his stomach leaned forward, using his good hand to pick up the alcohol soaked gauze and bandages Negan had offered him, mentally noting the small bag of plastic caps on the floor beside where the gauze and bandages had been laid out, assuming those were for closing up the IVs.

“You have five motherfucking minutes to get those tubes out of your goddamn arms and get the fuck over to me. Then we’re going to goddamn play a little motherfucking game.” Negan remarked, turning and marching off and around the desk to the room beyond the kennel, tapping Lucille against the wooden surface of the office furniture in passing as an unspoken threat.

Rick watched him go then turned back to the gauze, reaching out with his good hand and beginning to close up the catheters for his IVs as best as he could remember Hershel teaching him to back when Carl had been healing from his gunshot wound. Just thinking about that incident as he fumbled with his one good hand and tried to use his stiff one to aid in his quest brought to light all that had changed between now and then. The deaths he’d encountered since had more than once threatened to drown him in sorrow. Now they acted as distractions as he tried to pull the needles out and apply pressure with his thighs against his arms at the same time to help the gauze staunch the blood flow coming from his veins with the removal of the needles. He sighed as he fumbled about, hoping that the pressure he created didn’t break the needles off.

Having to keep up such pressure and place the bandages on himself with just one good hand ended up making most of the final product of the first bandaging attempt nothing more than a mangled, bloody mess. He sighed as each second saw him get covered more and more in his own blood and saw the bandages he was attempting to use ruined. The blood loss and lack of pain medication made him both lightheaded and more aware of the present situation all at once, making his head spin and his fumbling increase. Getting another set of bandages, abandoning the mess of adhesive and gauze that now lay on the floor of his cage, he focused on trying to make the next set work better for his first needle mark.

After more bloodshed he was finally able to bandage up the final needle mark. After only needing two tries with the bandages with the next mark, one remained. Sighing, he turned and tried to prepare the materials for the mark just as a shout from Negan made him jump, “What the hell is motherfucking going on over there?! What, did you fucking fall asleep bitch? Finish getting the goddamn things patched up and get the fuck over here! I ain’t got all goddamn motherfucking day! And don’t you goddamn let any of that motherfucking medicine spill the fuck out!” 

Rick breathed hard, staring at the floor. Even though he hadn’t truly forgotten about the man-after all, the task he was attempting to perform was because of the sadist-the focus required to try to bandage his arm had pushed thoughts of the Leader from his mind, at least temporarily. He wondered if Negan knew that and if that was the reason the man had chosen to re-announce his presence right then. Even if it hadn’t been the monster’s plan, it had performed that purpose regardless, causing Rick’s entire body to immediately tense up.

After a moment’s pause Rick groaned and quickly put the bandage around the final wound as best as he could, holding his bad wrist over it and pressing it against the area before turning and blinking at the carpet just beyond the cage door. After double checking that the IV tubes and bags were plugged up by the provided caps to the point where no fluid would spill out, he began to shuffle on his knees towards the front of the cage, leaning on the bars and trying to ignore the carpet burn he was receiving to now accompany the burn of the alcohol cleansing his needle pricks. 

Two feet outside of the cage the plan of shuffling on his knees in order to keep pressing down on the bandages met its first road block as Rick’s world spun again and he fell to the right. He grunted as the side of his head banged on the desk making him see stars before he hit the carpet. He moaned, eyes watering as he curled up against the red material, holding back the tears that sprang up in his eyes, caused by both the amount of stress he had been under recently and the pain that was returning to his senses’ attention due to his injuries. 

The days he’d spent hooked up to IVs in the makeshift infirmary had done little regarding giving him a reprieve from the turmoil his life had turned into. If anything, his time there had only made his situation seem worse due to Carson’s revelation and Sherry’s warning. It was clear to him that Negan would fuck him and beat him, and when he’d go to the infirmary the doctor would fuck him in exchange for the medications he would need because of Negan. It was a vicious cycle of pain and Rick knew all too well who was getting the bum end of that deal. And if Sherry was someone to be trusted to know what she was talking about on the matter, his best bet was to sit there and take it all. Such a scenario was enough to make anyone cry in despair, as the tears trickled down his cheeks and into the carpet. 

“Tell me you motherfucking sorry ass piece of shit! Am I goddamn going to have to motherfucking drag your sniveling, pussy ass over here by that goddamn collar, or can you motherfucking manage to pick yourself the fuck up and come on your own?” Negan’s voice rang out across the small expanse between them, laced with impatience. Rick moaned, lifting his head and gazing up with teary eyes at the edge of the top of the desk closest to him. He had to get up, had to go to Negan. The alternative’s result would be far worse, he was sure of it.

Reaching up with shaky hands, he used the desk to pull himself up and continued to crawl across the floor. One thing was clear: if Negan wanted him in front of him as soon as possible staying on the floor any longer wouldn’t improve his situation at all. Therefore the only place to go was forward and so he crawled up until he had rounded the man’s occupied armchair and shifted around so that he knelt before Negan, shaking all over and gazing at the man’s boots. “Look the fuck at me,” Negan said in a commanding, cold voice that was devoid of any human emotion other than complete and utter domination. His tone alone radiated the strength he knew he had over Rick. It sent a chill down the former leader’s spine. The unspoken threat was not lost on Rick’s ears, and after wincing, he began to look up at the man, shaking.

Finally, jaw clenched and crystal blue eyes trembling, he moved them up the man’s gray jeans, noting Lucille laying lazily across the seat of them. His teary pupils lingered on her remembering all the pain she had caused him before his gaze moved up to focus on his tormentor’s face. Dark eyes danced in Negan’s sockets, this time not because of a fire in the now empty hearth but because of the mirth the man felt as he sat above Rick, looking down on his prey. 

It didn’t make Rick feel any safer that those eyes were soon accompanied by the man’s grin as it slowly slid into place moments before he tilted his head to the side, lifting a gloved finger from the hand that gripped his bat’s handle, pointing at Rick, “Well Ricky, I goddamn have to motherfucking say I am fucking loving the sight of you kneeling before me all goddamn bloody and scared. As a matter of motherfucking fact, I probably fucking enjoy it with your sorry ass a hell of a lot more than I’ve fucking enjoyed it with any of the other pussy ass fucks who have been in your goddamn position. So congrats on that motherfucking little victory. You are officially my favorite fucking bitch. But do you want to goddamn know how you could make it a bit fucking better for me, and by goddamn consequence you, Ricky?”

Rick grit his teeth and in that moment of hesitation, the curls at the edges of Negan’s lips began to twist down slightly, his eyes darkening another shade towards total soul swallowing pitch, “Well, goddamn do you, you sad fuck?” Rick noted the man’s hand twisting tighter around Lucille, and was sure that if the glove hadn’t been covering the man’s fingers he would have seen Negan’s knuckles turn white. He didn’t want to think about what usually followed that. “Y-yes,” Rick said, voice trembling as he looked into the dark obsidian depths that threatened to swallow him whole. Negan frowned, tilting his head and arching an eyebrow, expectant. Rick’s mind panicked, rushing to try to find a solution for the issue, a way to resolve the man’s irritation. Finally he figured it out. He licked his lips nervously,”I mean, Yes sir.” His eyes darted to the man’s hand and as it relaxed slightly, he felt his mind and body relax as well. He’d held off punishment, at least for now. He could only pray that he would continue to do so. As Negan cleared his throat, Rick took that as a hint to move his eyes back to the man’s face, and let them move back up to refocus once again. 

Instantly Negan’s smirk was back in place, “Good boy. You’re motherfucking learning goddamn fast. Still, you are making some motherfucking mistakes, and regarding what you asked so motherfucking nicely about. . . If I were you-and believe me I sure as fucking shit am glad I am not- and I wanted to make my goddamn time here a bit motherfucking better, I would DEFINITELY motherfucking work on getting to me a hell of a lot goddamn sooner, you sorry fucking piece of shit. And. . .” he turned and leaning over to the small table that was now beside his armchair, housing a tray of fruits, cheese, cold cuts, and crackers, “I would most def-fucking-initely do a better job at closing up those goddamn needle holes. Because honestly you look like a goddamn kindergarten motherfucking art project gone to shit. Doctor Fucking Carson advised that I keep you hooked up to those fucking IVs for at least two more days, or at least keep you hooked up during your ‘down time’. . . But I won’t motherfucking risk you goddamn wasting my fucking resources just to follow his pussy ass orders.” 

Pulling a green grape off of its stalk, he turned and with his thumb flicked it into the air, opening his mouth and catching it, jaws clamping down around it viciously before he began to chew, looking with smug eyes at Rick whose stomach couldn’t help but growl and tense up at the flippant action with which the Leader ate, “And with that all motherfucking cleared up, let’s move the fuck on to our goddamn little game. It’s a game about damn trust, Rick. That means it is a motherfucking way for your goddamn shitty ass self to earn a little fucking bit of mine and prove to me that you’re finally getting goddamn onboard with how things are going to fucking be for you in the forseeable future. If your sorry ass does well in the game, then it’ll get rewarded, if it doesn’t . . . well,” Negan gave a dark chuckle, eyes glinting at the man kneeling and staring up at him from the carpet, “I think you can motherfucking figure that shit out. Now, are you fucking ready to goddamn play?”

Rick stared at Negan. A game about trust? What on earth could that possibly entail? Really, the possibilities were endless. His mind instantly went to the trust falls that some shrink had said they needed to do in a workshop at the police station one morning. Ironically, he and Shane had been paired up together. Hell, they had been awarded for their instant pick up on the exercise, flawlessly falling back into one another’s arms. Funny how that AWARD WINNING relationship had worked out. . . 

As his thoughts dismissed the trust fall scenario, they went to darker places, places that he felt were more in tune with the evil man sitting before him in the chair, watching him with studying dark eyes. His mind plunged into darker places and scenarios of games Negan could twist into being “trust” games. His ass tensed at the thought of what the man could have in store for him, along with the rest of his body. But what choice did he have really? Negan would make him play anyway, one way or another. And he prefered this way as it was offered to him, the way of acceptance of his fate. From what he could understand about his role in relation to Negan, the more he accepted openly what the man wanted to do, the situation seemed to promise less pain. It was with that thought in mind that he nodded, “I want to play,” he whispered hoarsely. 

Negan smirked, and pulled a grape off of the stalk again. But instead of eating it himself the Leader tossed at Rick, who scrambled to catch it only to hold it in his hand and stare at the man in the armchair, “Good goddamn answer, Ricky. This game always goes so motherfucking well when both parties are eager to get the fuck started. A quick explanation: it’s a game of fucking questions and goddamn answers. I ask you the question, you give me the answer. It’ll start out pretty damn simple, and then work its way up into harder levels. You are to answer me motherfucking honestly, and always look me in the goddamn eye when you do. I don’t care if the answer is fucking awkward as hell, understand? And I will tell when you are goddamn lying. Those times will of course lead to goddamn punishment, whilst, the motherfucking truth will be rewarded.”

Rick grit his teeth, gripping the grape just short of crushing it. He had a feeling that his honesty wasn’t going to be judged on its genuine merit but on whether Negan liked his answers. If the man felt that his answers were “unacceptable” or “without detail”, he was sure to get punished regardless of how truthful they might still be. Negan lifted Lucille up as if to emphasize that fact and moved the tip of her to Rick’s closed hands, moving her beneath them so that her barbs dug into his fingers and pushed them up towards his face. 

Rick trembled at the pain, and bowing his head opened his hands as Negan verbally instructed him to eat the grape so they could start. Obeying the dark haired man he munched on the grape slowly, trying to savor the taste of it. He had no idea if he would get rewarded at all, after all, and knew he needed every ounce of strength he could find in this place. As the final juices moved over his tongue and down his throat the brunette lifted his head back up to look at the man in the chair as he tried to mentally prepare for the interrogation that was bound to occur next.

“First damn question . . . You will always be motherfucking Ricky to me, you little cockslut,” Negan drawled, twirling Lucille about as he rested his head to be propped up and to the side of his bare fist. Rick’s eyes followed the bat’s swings, tensing when Negan would move her a bit too close to comfort at him. A few times he physically jerked, the barbs coming to be mere inches from his skin. Such actions only made Negan grin and chuckle, the man reveling in the fact that he had such an effect on the prisoner. “But what is your full fucking name? What the fuck did your whore of a mother name you when she spit you out of her fucking cunt? ” 

“Richard Grimes,” Rick whispered, eyes not leaving the bat. He jumped as Negan arched her back up and brought her down like a sledgehammer against the floor beside him. He stared at her as she lay against the carpet, panting as the swing had only missed him by centimeters, and darted his eyes to the man in the chair, instantly remembering the rule he’d violated, “I . . . I mean, Richard Grimes. That was my full name, sir.” he added the last for good measure, in case his delayed refocusing on Negan’s face wasn’t enough to appease the beast before him.

It seemed to do the job as Negan arched his eyebrows suggestively, “So, was there ever a fucking Mrs. Grimes?” Negan slurred, “Before Miss Hot Chocolate I mean? Damn that bitch is smokin’ hot. Hell, I even fucking considered asking her to be one of my wives right then and fucking there. Since I was already gonna goddamn make her fuck buddy my little cockslut bitch. . . Bet she’d fucking enjoy my goddamn marshmallows in her hot cocoa, after having to goddamn settle for your sorry ass for so fucking long.”

Negan’s words struck Rick hard, and in spite of himself he glowered at the monster in the chair with a look that he wished would kill the man on the spot. He wasn’t sure if the mention of Lori, who he had thought loved him but had gone for Shane, and the mention of Michonne doing something similar to that was what got to him, or if it had merely been the thought of Negan laying his hands on Michonne. But for a moment he felt anger rise up in him, filling him with a false sense of courage and causing him to let that rage out at Negan, no matter how idiotic his actions were. “She’d never agree to marry a monster like you,” he snapped. Negan narrowed his eyes, and out of the corner of his own, Rick saw Lucille coming so fast he had no time to react. He cried out as the bat came down like an axe on his shoulder, hearing it pop as pain exploded across his whole world from his collarbone before he went down and to the side, panting as the bat moved away. 

He stared at the blood red carpet for ages it seemed. Finally Negan leaned down and with his bare hand gripped Rick’s chin before jerking it up so that Rick’s glassy, pain filled eyes stared into Negan’s own, which were filled with irritation that bordered on rage. “Well would you fucking look who wants to act like he’s gone to the fucking pits of Hell and gotten his balls back. Listen you sorry cockslut piece of shit. I know you loved the goddamn bitch- probably more than you goddamn love anything else in this whole fucked up world- but you better motherfucking face reality, and you better goddamn do that shit fucking quick. The motherfucking bottom goddamn line is that you won’t be back with that sweet ass for a VERY long time, in fact I goddamn intend for you to NEVER go back to her-or your motherfucking kid- again.” 

As Rich trembled at the thought of never seeing Michonne or Carl again, Negan let a soft smile cross his face, “Or, at least not the way you fucking intend to. Now what does that goddamn mean? It means that that fact motherfucking alone frees that piece of hot pussy up for me. And when I ask her to fucking come back with me and be my goddamn bride- should I fucking choose to do so- it’s her who’s going to give me a goddamn answer, not your sorry ass. And if she fucking says yes, I will bring her right the fuck into this room, bend that fine ass over my goddamn desk, and fucking force you to watch as I goddamn plow into that chocolate pussy of hers. And I won’t take her rough and hard. I can make people motherfucking want me in ways that they never goddamn thought they could, Ricky. I will make her motherfucking scream my name to Hell and Heaven, and beg for me to cum inside her motherfucking cunt. I’ll fucking make her forget you, forget every fucking thing that attracted her to your sorry ass. And I will make you goddamn watch, you little shit. I’ll make you watch, and watch, and for good measure I’ll make you motherfucking watch again. Hell, I’ll even make a goddamn home movie of it.” 

Rick choked out a sob, not sure if the emotional pain of what Negan promised or the pain from his shoulder area was worse. “Please, please, don’t do it. Don’t ask her. Do what you want with me, but plea-” Negan sneered, “Well look who is goddamn selfish. I tell you I will make your old whore happy- and she will be once she comes around to the idea of me making her feel fucking amazing- and you ask me not to? Who the fuck do you think you are? I mean really I’d be doing her beautiful self a goddamn favor, even if you don’t count the amazing fucks we would have. Living here has got to be TEN TIMES better than living in that shithole of a town you’re from, and it’ll only be that much motherfucking better since she’ll be here as one of my goddamn wives. Now she can say yes or she can say no, but it’ll be her decision, not yours. Just like it will be my decision to ask her, not yours. So you best motherfucking focus on answering your own goddamn questions before you move on to ours. Understand that shit, you sorry cockslut? You piece of fucking selfish trash?” Rick grit his teeth, rage and hurt welling within him, but decided not let any of it out, only glaring at Negan with a look that he wished would kill the man gripping his chin. But he was concerned that it held more evidence of his miserable situation than anything.

Negan chuckled, amused at the anger and sadness that temporarily had replaced the fear that had dwelt in those crystalline eyes for so long, “I’m waiting for your goddamn answer, you fucking pussy. Or do I need to fucking hit you again to remind you just how this goddamn motherfucking game works?” With that he jerked Rick’s chin up and back, stretching his neck uncomfortably and causing Rick’s eyes to water as his dislocated shoulder screamed in pain, “Y-yes sir, I understand,” he whispered through tight jaws, emotional and physical pain combining as one to try to hammer away at his soul. 

Negan chuckled, releasing his chin. “Good, and as your goddamn reward for answering me. . . as I did motherfucking promise that there would be a goddamn reward for each honest answer. . .” Negan moved out of the chair and around Rick, pushing the man down into the floor with a firm knee before Rick could fully grasp what was going on. Rick panicked, breathing hard and staring fearfully into the carpet as Negan moved to grip his now injured arm with one hand and his dislocated shoulder joint with the other. 

When Negan had first moved onto him Rick’s mind had panicked at the thought of the man’s dick up his ass again, as a way of further proving his point regarding his dominance of the situation. But now he knew just what the man was about to do and without pain meds he knew it would be even more painful, “P-please, please no,” he whispered, voice trembling, “I. . . I’m sorry, for my rudeness, sir. Please, just leave it alone. I’ll be f-f-fine, just please don’t. . .” he felt tears streaming down his cheeks, and he buried his forehead into the carpet beneath him, “God, please don’t do it. Master, please don’t do it. Not now. I c-c-can’t take it. No, please. . .” he begged between sobs, his entire body shaking beneath Negan. “Calm down, you little bitch,” Negan said, chuckling, “I have no fucking use for your goddamn pussy ass with one arm, and I fucking know that you goddamn know this needs to happen, so just motherfucking take your goddamn reward.” “Please no,” Rick whimpered, “Please, please Master, please don’t do thi-AAAAAAAAAAH!” his body exploded in pain as Negan jerked his arm back into the socket, his shoulder flaring in a wave of agony that caused Rick to shriek before falling back out of consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, what do you all think? Hoping to proofread the next part later today, hopefully to post it tonight! It was meant to be posted with this chapter, but before I knew it I had nine pages already, so . . . wanted to spare you guys from a huge page of text!


	11. . . .Now Let Me Know You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The "trust" game continues, with more questions to strike cords with Rick as he is forced to decide between giving Negan the information he wants and getting a reward or refusing Negan and receiving only pain from the ever present Lucille.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is the next chapter! Yeah, yeah, I know that I had said "today", but my idiotic self forgot that I am slipping back into my old ways of writing by night. Especially since my bf works night shifts. So to me, it is still the same day in which I posted the last chapter, although to you all it might not be. Regardless, I appreciate both comments from the last chapter and look forward to more!  
> This chapter picks up right from where the last left off (for those of you who feel it is unfinished, let me explain: that chapter and this one were supposed to be together originally, a little interrogation in which Negan searches for information to better himself and to use against Rick in the future. Which means that the first automatically leads into the second). I apologize for any choppiness that might have been felt between that chapter and this one, and hope that the quality of what's going on makes up for it. And speaking of quality. . . more action is promised in the next chapter, I understand that sometimes just dialogue can be boring to read. To those people who despise it, I am sorry. But this chapter and the one before are meant to show Negan forcing Rick to be honest with him even when he doesn't want to (which is a way of making it easier for Negan to read Rick as the former Sheriff's imprisonment continues), show some areas in which Rick will be able to wiggle into Negan's vulnerable points later (kudos if you figure out where those areas are), let Negan gain information to better his resources, cause Rick to feel the pang of betrayal a little, and to give Negan ammo to use with breaking Rick in the future. So, after going back and forth regarding putting both of these "Boring" chapters in the story, I decided that they were in fact necessary, and hope that you all don't mind them. Action is soon to come, I assure you!

Rick was snapped out of unconsciousness with a harsh slap across the face. He cried out, the strike from the Savior Leader causing his nose to spike in new pain and his head to ring. Jerking his head up, he shot his crystal eyes open as reality set about reintroducing himself to the pain radiating from his shoulder and arm. Unfortunately he was also introduced to an irritated looking man who now held him in his grasp. Literally.

He stared with wide, fearful eyes at Negan, the Leader having his gloved hand wrapped firmly around Rick’s throat as he leaned over the man from where he once again sat in his armchair, Rick being held up off the ground by his iron grip so that his limp fingers just barely brushed the floor.

Rick panted as his mind quickly recapped what had just happened. Seeming to know when he’d caught back up on recent events, Negan sneered, “You goddamn pussy. Can’t take a little motherfucking pain?” Rick breathed hard, the action proving to be difficult with the man’s firm grip on his windpipe. He hardly thought that the pain he had just experienced counted as “little”, but luckily Negan didn’t seem to require an answer currently.

Instead the Leader continued, “ Well, now that your Sleeping Beauty self has woken back up, I goddamn think it’s motherfucking time to continue our game, don’t you? Well it doesn’t goddamn really matter what you fucking think, does it Ricky? We’re going to fucking goddamn continue anyway. Aren’t we?” Rick gagged as Negan jerked his hand up higher along with his neck, “Y-yes sir,” he whispered, tears beading up in his eyes, “Whatever you want.” 

Negan smirked, “Good fucking answer, you sorry shit. I swear, it takes a motherfucking while to get through that thick-ass skull of yours, but when I do, you goddamn catch on quick. So, let’s continue with me asking your sorry cockslut self ONCE AGAIN . . . Was there a Mrs. Goddamn Fucking Grimes? Tell me, whose pussy did you stick your dick inside before all this shit fest started? I can’t personally see the goddamn appeal of you as a motherfucking stud, but hell. . .” Negan smirked, his teeth gleaming as he sneered at Rick, “That runt of yours had to motherfucking slide out of someone.”

Rick breathed in a fresh breath of air between his teeth as Negan released him so that he went back onto his ankles and thighs as he knelt on his own once more before the sadist. He looked down and glanced at the man’s bat as Lucille resumed her twirling, working in a clock like motion as Negan lazily twisted the wrist of the hand holding her. Rick grit his teeth, debating whether or not to tell Negan about Lori- hell he could make something up and Negan would never know. Maybe a one night stand? Carl was given up, or adopted? That along with a multitude of other possible stories went through his mind, with him finally deciding that since she was gone it shouldn’t matter. . . besides, he wouldn’t have a chance to check stories with Carl, and if Carl said something different, Negan would know that one of the two of them had lied. Rick didn’t want to think about what would happen then. . . He looked up at Negan, frowning and setting his jaw firm, trying to keep his emotions in check.

”Her name was Lori.” “Lori,” Negan slurred, letting the name roll off of his tongue, gazing up at the chandelier above, his eyes floating on the intricate patterns of it, “Beautiful name for most likely a motherfucking beautiful woman that deserved way fucking better than your sorry goddamn ass. What was she like?” Rick sighed as Negan’s curious dark eyes refocused on him, “She was long and skinny, we met in High School first, got married later. She had long brown hair, brown eyes. . . she was a school teacher before it all went down.” Negan chuckled, “Well if that ain’t the goddamn worst description ever. You’re so motherfucking technical Rick. Give me some fucking details, man.” Rick blinked at him, silent.

Seeming to think Rick needed him to explain just what he was looking for, Negan sighed as if exasperated and continued, “How did her fucking pussy feel around your goddamn cock Ricky boy? How was she as a goddamn fuck buddy? Did she motherfucking make you feel like the luckiest goddamn man in the world? Did she give you the goddamn honor of taking her fucking V-Card?” at that Negan paused, clearly expecting Rick to answer his questions. Rick sighed, not wanting to give such intimate details to the merciless killer. But he had to tell Negan something, that was clear. He locked eyes on the sadist, “She was amazing. Beautiful. She did make me feel like the luckiest guy in the world. Even when we argued, I still thought she was the most amazing woman. I loved her.”

Negan chuckled, “So you’ve always had a goddamn stubborn and rebellious streak haven’t you you fucking shit? Just couldn’t let the happy motherfucking marriage last. Had to goddamn go and ruin it, didn’t you, you sorry piece of motherfucking shit. You little bitch.” Rick grit his teeth firmly, unwilling to point out that Lori was often the one that started arguments to try to get rises out of Rick. It seemed too disrespectful to her memory, no matter what she had done to him. “We worked through it. Were working through it, anyway,” he whispered, and he looked then not at Negan but at the balcony windows as his chest seemed to tighten up as the pain of what could have been swelled up inside him. And right on cue to make him relive the tragedy of Lori even more was Negan’s next question, “‘Were’, huh? Tell me, you sorry shit. How did she . . . you know. . .” 

“Walker ate her,” Rick whispered, and was surprised at the lack of tears running down his face. He afforded the lack of such emotional activity to the fact that her death had been so long ago, and continued, turning and looking at Negan who waited expectantly for him to continue. “A long time ago. I wasn’t there to save her,” he whispered his teeth and looked down at his fists that were now closed to the point of having white knuckles as they rested upon his knees. He was just resolving to refuse to give Negan any more information than that when the Leader prodded further, “What happened to the walker?”

Rick frowned up at him, “Why does it matter?” he muttered. Negan narrowed his eyes darkly at him, “That motherfucking reason is none of your goddamn business. All you fucking need to know is that I goddamn want to know, so it fucking matters enough to you. Now you goddamn tell me my goddamn answer, Ricky, or Lucille will have another go at you.” Rick glanced at the bat as Negan brought it to a stop to hold Lucille about a foot from Rick’s head. 

The threat was all too clear and Rick sighed, bowing his head and continuing, all the while wondering why Negan was so curious, “I found it. It was still . . .” he heaved a deep breath as the image of the walker lying on the floor of the prison re-entered his mind, filling him with revulsion before he continued, spitting out almost in a snarl his next words, “It was still fat from eating all of her. The piece of shit couldn’t even move it was so full. It was just sitting right there against the wall. Taunting me. Egging me on to finish it. And so I did. I took my goddamn knife and I started stabbing it. . . Stabbed it in its stomach, stabbed it all over. I stabbed it so many times. So much that a part of me thought my arm would fall off. But it still didn’t feel like enough,” he growled the last word, talking about the instance putting him back in the moment and forcing him to revisit the injustice he had felt “And that’s what happened to the damn walker. Happy now?”

A moment after he had snapped at Negan, Rick tensed, realizing the disrespect that had laced those final words. He hadn’t even looked Negan in the eye, a requirement the other man had demanded from the beginning of the game. He bowed his head further, shutting his eyes tight and anticipating the hit that he felt was sure to come next, opening his mouth with shaking lips, ready to apologize. His entire body began to tremble uncontrollably. But before he could get the words out Negan spoke instead, and not in a way that Rick expected. 

“Damn that sucks,” Negan murmured gently. Rick frowned, not sure if the pain he felt was making the man sound sympathetic or whether the man truly was displaying such an emotion. The former Sheriff slowly tilted his head up to blink at the monster sitting before him. For an instant, Negan’s face softened, a look of momentary sympathy entering his eyes. Then that look was gone, as his eyes became emotionless and cold and he turned, picking up a cracker from the tray and leaning forward to hold it out to Rick, close to the man’s mouth, “Damn, what a motherfucking way to die, huh? Goddamn tragedy.” 

Rick grit his teeth before leaning forward and letting his mouth move over the food offered in the man’s hand, eyes focusing on the carpet rather than Negan’s face. It had to have been a trick of the light, he was sure of it. Negan didn’t sympathize. He antagonized. He only wanted Rick to relive the horror and pain so that he would be in more turmoil, Rick knew it. It was all a part of Negan’s plan to break him down. That notion was reassured with Negan’s next words, uttered by the Leader as Lucille resumed her twirling and his boot nudged Rick away from him to sit back on his ass on the floor, “Next question you sorry shit.” There was a pause, and then Negan proceeded with his inquiry. 

“Where in the fucking hell did you and the late motherfucking Mrs. Lori Grimes raise that mini serial killer of yours? By the damn way, what’s his name? Didn’t quite motherfucking have time to goddamn catch it before.” Rick frowned and looked at his hands as they rested on his knees, looking at the red streaks of dried blood that lay across their surfaces. He clenched his hands around the knees and looked up, frowning at Negan, “We lived in a place called King’s County. It’s in Georgia, near Atlanta. That’s. . . that’s where we raised Carl. That’s where he was born,” he said in a gentle voice, memories of happier times racing through his mind.

Thoughts of times before all of the shit went down and people started dying left and right made his eyes blur. It all seemed like such a different time now. Almost like it was a dream that hadn’t really happened. “Goddamn, moved all the fucking way up here from fucking Atlanta. I’m guessing you started moving before the goddamn bombing. . . Tell me were you there when that shit went down? Were you on the outskirts of the motherfucking city? Did you fucking see that shit? Hear the goddamn screaming? Damn I wish I could have been there. . .It’s a wonder they didn’t do that fucking shit in Washington. . .” Negan remarked. Rick sighed, closing his eyes, “Lori and Carl saw it but I didn’t.” Negan chuckled, “Don’t tell me you goddamn slept through that shit show. . .” Rick tensed at the accurate prediction and opened his eyes. Looking up, he locked his crystal blues with Negan’s obsidian depths, “I might as well have been sleeping. I was back in King’s County’s Hospital. In a coma.” 

That response was clearly unexpected as Negan’s eyes widened, his eyebrows twitching up in curiosity, “Well damn, what the fuck happened to cause that shit?” Rick grit his teeth, his scar twitching as he recalled the fateful call that had sent him and Shane- back when they were friends- out and after the criminals. Could still remember the shock and pain he’d felt as the bullet slammed against his Kevlar suit. “I got shot,” he said in a hoarse voice, the memory of the impact seeming to knock the breath out of him all on its own, “Right here,” he continued, putting the tip of a finger against the scar on his chest. “Well Jesus Fucking Christ, don’t tell me you were in a fucking police standoff,” Negan chuckled. “I was,” Rick remarked, blinking at him. Negan smirked, “Well, maybe you’re a bit tougher than I thought Ricky Boy. What the fuck did they do?”

Rick looked down, “I. . . I don’t know. I don’t even remember,” he remarked, the incident seeming to occur ages ago. He remembered the pain and waking up to a world so unlike the one he’d grown up in, but that was about as specific as his memory went, especially right now with his mind all muddled. Negan blinked at him, “Ok, I accept that. Guess I’ll come up with my own little crime for them to have committed later. Ya gotta goddamn tell me though, Ricky boy, what the fuck were you?” 

Rick frowned and looked up at him, confused. Didn’t Negan already say he knew Rick had been a cop? Negan chuckled at the befuddled look crossing the victim’s crystalline eyes, “I goddamn mean rank, pet. Keep the fuck up.” Rick bristled, his pride once against hit, “I was Sheriff Deputy.” Negan smirked, eyes glinting, “Well damn, look who made something of himself before this whole shit show went down. I myself was a goddamn gym teacher. And baseball coach, of fucking course. Varsity won each season I coached them. . .” he said, straightening in pride. 

Rick’s eyes widened. Somehow Negan’s affinity with the baseball bat and his leading the group of Saviors fit the gym and coach motif perfectly, but the thought of the sadist urging children through things like the presidential fitness challenge also seemed like some sort of joke. Negan smirked, “What, can’t fucking see it looking at me right now? Well I doubt most would see any of your previous profession in your naked bloody ass kneeling in front of me.”

With that the man turned and picked up what appeared to be a chocolate covered strawberry. He looked at it with a bemused smile on his face before he slid it slowly into his mouth. Rick grit his teeth and lowered his eyes. Those reminded him of his and Lori’s first date, yet another unwanted memory. Shane had gone with him to get chocolate covered strawberries and hte flowers he’s shown up on her doorstep with, ironically enough. Even more ironic was the fact that she hadn’t even eaten them. She was allergic. “Still you did answer my question, so here,” Negan’s voice suddenly remarked, and Rick looked up, expecting some other piece of food in the man’s hand. But no,it was that same strawberry, only with the chocolate now missing from it. And from the sadistic glint in Negan’s eyes as he dangled the wet fruit in front of Rick’s face, he knew just what the man wanted from him. It turned his stomach, but at the same time he knew all too well as he glanced at Lucille just what the punishment for not doing what Negan wanted would be. 

So, swallowing his battered pride, he leaned forward and moved his mouth over the strawberry, trying to ignore the growing smile on Negan’s face as he bit into itclose to Negan’s fingers before pulling back to sit on his butt again. Trying to ignore how good the strawberry tasted, with hints of the chocolate still on it. He didn’t want to think of anything in a good way in relation to Negan, fearful that the second he relaxed he’d be opening himself up to more pain. 

He sighed, a long rattling breath as it left his lips, and clenched his good hand against his knee, the after effects of Negan dislocating his shoulder then popping it into place still on his mind, residuals of pain he didn’t want to experience again. “Don’t look so down, you little shit. You’re getting pretty damn good at this game, Mr. Deputy. Now, onto the harder questions. Round 2.” Rick grit his teeth. He had a feeling that this was where the game of trust turned into a real interrogation. The questions, although they might have dug up some grim memories and elicited painful emotions, had been easy enough up until now. He had a feeling that things were about to be more intense. He wondered if he could handle it.

Leaning back, Negan motioned to Rick’s arms, “Do you have any goddamn idea how fucking much your need for antibiotics and fluids affects us? Two days greatly fucking depletes our damn resources Rick, and you should have motherfucking learned as leader of your pathetic group that resources, especially THOSE kinds of resources, are HARD to fucking find. You wouldn’t happen to know of where in the hell we could find more, would you, bitch?” picking up a piece of cheese, the man put it in his mouth and swung Lucille around to point at Rick. Rick trembled as he looked at the man and his bat before lowering his eyes, sucking in a shaky breath. Yes, he knew of a place, but first off he didn’t want to jeapordize any of the patients there. He was sure Negan and his men would strip the place clean and leave them for the dead. Or leave them dead, dependent on what happened there. He couldn’t tell Negan about it. Besides, it was in Georgia. Why would Negan want to look that far? No, best not to mention Grady “No,” Rick whispered hoarsely. “Why not look at me when you answer my question, Rick,” Negan hissed his name, sneering.

Rick grit his teeth and closing his eyes, sucked in a deep breath before opening them and looking back up at Negan. Knowing all too well that the meaning of the man’s words might have equated a question but coming from the Leader the phrase was far more an order. Negan tilted his head to the other side, frowning at him, jaw set firmly, “Now, I will ask you afuckinggain. Do you know of any goddamn place where I could find some more fucking meds?”

“No,” Rick whispered again, his voice trembling more than before, and shook his head for added benefit, hoping the look in his gaze didn’t betray him. He tried to avoid glancing at Lucille, feeling like that would betray him even more. “You don’t know . . . or. . .” Negan turned and gripping another chocolate covered strawberry off the tray moved and held it before him, between him and Rick, flopping it so that the pointed end faced Rick as if the Leader was offering it to him.“Do you just not want to tell me where the fuck I can find the shit I goddamn need?” Negan hissed, and Rick looked at him, gulping and licking at his dry lips. Looking between the strawberry and Lucille, Rick understood: he could either lie to Negan and suffer the consequences, or tell the man what he wanted to hear-betraying Grady Memorial-and be rewarded. 

He didn’t want to tell Negan about Grady, but he didn’t want to get hit again. Not only did he physically not want any more pain to accompany what he already felt, he also didn’t want to need more medical attention that he would be indebted to Carson for. His ass tensed at the thought and he sucked in a deep, rattling breath that strained his hurt ribs. ‘Remember, they killed Beth,’ a voice in his head offered and he found it to be his own as he let out a sigh, deciding to tell the Leader about Grady but to try to protect them all the same. A compromise that he didn’t necessarily want to make but that he felt he needed to. For his-and their-sake. “I. . . I do know of a place,” he whispered, shaking all over, sweat beginning to form all over him as he trembled beneath Negan’s cold stare. 

The tension in the air seemed to be transitioning to an almost physical presence in the room, and everything seemed to fall silent around him as if smothered by it. He grit his teeth and uncomfortably glanced down before the tip of Lucille was underneath his chin, tilting it and his head up. He gulped hard and looked at Negan with teary eyes, wishing he knew how to read the cold look Negan was giving him in order to know if the bat would soon be swinging at him again in an instant. “Go on,” Negan muttered, holding the strawberry just beneath his cheek, keeping the chocolate treat safely away from his stubble there. Rick sighed again, “Grady Memorial Hospital. But. . .” Negan leaned back, frowning at him, “Grady Memorial, I haven’t heard of the motherfucker. Where the hell is it?” the man interrupted him, swinging Lucille down and away from Rick. “A-atlanta. . .” Rick said, lowering his gaze in shame and hating himself more with each word, “I . . . I didn’t tell you b-because I didn’t think y-you would want t-to g-go. . .” “Watch it, Rick,” Negan hissed, and Rick moaned as the man leaned forward and pressed the larger end of Lucille into his throat, not only puncturing him with her barbs and gagging him by her presence as she pressed into him but also pushing the prongs of his collar in deeper. Rick gulped as the prongs began to break his skin and closed his eyes, shaking all over.

“Don’t you goddamn lie to me, you fucking bitch,” Negan hissed venemously, “And how many times do I have to fucking tell you to goddamn look at me when you talk to me? Dammit Rick you were doing so well before you started fucking up with your answers. Such a motherfucking disappointment.” with that he pushed Lucille in deeper and tilted her up, forcing Rick to tilt his chin up along with her so that he gazed with glassy eyes up at the man once more. Negan gazed at him with angry obsidian eyes for a moment before turning and opening his mouth slowly bit into the strawberry, munching on it slowly, tongue whisking out to grab the liquid and chocolate that threatened to escape down his chin before turning to Rick and swallowing it all, smacking his lips, “Now I want you to goddamn answer me with a hell yeah or fuck no. And I will know if you try to lie again, you sorry ass motherfucker. Did you really not tell me because you don’t want me to fucking go there and grab what my people goddamn need from this Gary Misery Hospital or whatever the fuck it’s called?” 

Rick shuddered, lips shaking and Negan’s eyes narrowed to dark slits, as the Leader leaned forward even more, impatience rolling off of him in smothering waves, “It’s a simple goddamn question you little shit. Now you tell me hell yeah or fuck no or Lucille here. . .” he rolled Lucille away from Rick’s neck and along his skin up to the side of his head, and tapped him there hard enough for Rick to whimper and close his eyes slightly before gazing at the man’s boots, “Is going to fucking rattle that brain of yours around to remind you to talk when you are goddamn spoken to you little shit.”

“Y-yes, sir,” Rick whispered, lifting his head to gaze at Negan with glassy pleading eyes. Negan sneered, “Now how fucking hard was that goddamn shit? And it cleared things up too! Gay Millennial Hospital is fucking operational, and has some goddamn medicine in it. And YOU don’t want me to go there out of some fucking sense of goddamn loyalty. Why the fuck not? Did they fucking help one of your goddamn people? Tell me, was it the fucking brunette bitch who lost her shit when I slaughtered Mr. Kinky Chinky? Cuz I gotta tell ya, you might have wanted to take that pussy back as fucked up as she looked,” the man chuckled at that. 

Rick bristled at the man’s racial slur and losing his composure snapped, “Her name was Beth.” Negan’s gaze darkened but he tilted his head, leaning forward and smirking, “Who, Mr. Eggroll or his bitch? I mean, normally I would assume the one with the cunt, but I try not to fucking judge.” “Neither of them,” Rick muttered, his eyes lowering again, “Beth was the one they helped. . .” his voice trailed off and he shook as the memory of the gunshot going through her head just moments after they had seen her again went through his mind. “Do I need to fucking put your head in a goddamn brace to remind you to goddamn motherfucking look at me?” Negan hissed, reaching forward and twisting the collar around on Rick’s neck, gripped the ring at the end of its chains and jerked up on it, the prongs digging into Rick’s head wound as he moaned, gazing up at the man who now was merely a breath away from him with teary eyes staring into Negan’s dark ones. Tears streaked down his face, both from the treatment and the memory of Beth. 

Negan growled and jerked on the chain,“Don’t make me fucking twist your arm. As fragile as you fucking are it might pop out again. Hell, I might even motherfucking break it. And you don’t goddamn want that shit now do you, Ricky boy? So, who the fuck is Beth? Goddamn humor me.” The thought of Negan twisting his arm to the point of breaking it seemed to make Rick’s hand and shoulder throb even more and he gulped, knowing it might be days before Negan would let it begin to heal properly. He began to speak quickly, holding back the details of Beth in honor of her while providing the essentials to the Savior Leader, “She was a girl we found early on. . . She got separated from us and injured. . . Ended up at Grady. . .They fixed her. . . Made her work for them to pay for meds. . .We came and. . .” Once more the sight of the blood flying from Beth’s skull reentered his vision and he shuddered, shutting his eyes tightly, tears streaking down once more, “It happened so fast. . .” he gasped as Negan twisted his hand slightly, frowning at him. Rick choked over the man’s wrist as the monster before him started to strangle him as his gloved knuckles pressed against Rick’s bleeding throat.

“What happened so fast?” Negan whispered, as if they were sharing a secret. Rick blinked some tears away, opening his eyes and forcing himself to focus on the man’s face as his lightheadedness increased, “Sh-she stabbed the hospital leader. . . the policewoman in charge. . . and she. . . she shot her,” he finished quietly. There was a pause, and then. . . “You fucking pussy,” Negan hissed, his tone demeaning as a slow smile spread across his face, “Some bitch, who I’m guessing fucking deserved to get stabbed, shoots your little whore and you let her fucking live and keep her goddamn facility. And I bet Beth woulda been a fucking beauty too. Probably woulda taken her on as a wife, wouldn’t I? Bet a motherfucking three way with me and her and your little slice of chocolate pie would have been one hell of a time! And you let the motherfucking uniformed cunt just walk away from that. Let her shoot your girl Beth and walk away. You fucking piece of shit. Maybe you’re not as good a leader as I fucking thought. Maybe you don’t give a shit about your goddamn people . . . Maybe. . .” “Daryl shot her,” Rick snapped, his already injured pride reeling from the hits Negan was trying to deal out to him.

He had to take up for himself somehow in the face of such disrespect, “He killed her and we offered for her people to come with us. They said they would stay so we took Beth and we left. That’s what happened. We didn’t let her just walk away.” Negan paused, and a look flickered in his obsidian eyes that was indiscernable to Rick. As he tried to comprehend what it meant, Negan pulled back, tossing the chain away and pushing Rick, making him jump off of his hurt ankle as he nearly fell onto it, his hands shooting out to catch himself before he slowly reached up with his left hand and rubbed gently at his bleeding neck. A crunching sound met his ears and he glanced up as Negan ground a cracker between his jaws, swallowing it before speaking again, “So, regardless of whether the goddamn leader was shot or not, you decide to fucking hide a place from me that fucking caused the death of some super hot girl? Even if the cunt did die, that is some twisted fucking loyalty right there.” 

Turning, he gripped another cracker, and chomped down on it, munching on the piece of food so the sound of it crunching between his teeth was the only thing that filled the room as he gazed at the empty hearth. “Trust game’s fucking over, and I’ve goddamn decided something,” he muttered after swallowing. Turning to Rick, he frowned at the former Sheriff, “I’ll figure out later if I want to send people down to motherfucking Atlanta to see what Garfield Minstrel has to offer me, but I’ll offer you a way to make up for fucking lying to me right now.” Rick blinked up at him, and Negan tilted his head, frowning at him, licking his lips and smacking them, “I’m fucking thirsty. Go over to the goddamn wet bar and pour me some fucking Scotch on the Goddamn Rocks.” Rick blinked, processing the request. Negan wanted him. . . to pour him a drink. . . after all the man had done to him, such a simple request seemed odd to say the least. Negan’s face tensed in irritation suddenly, rage flooding his dark eyes at the perceived insubordination, “Well?! What the goddamn fuckity fuck are you waiting for you little shit? Or do you want me to beat your ass like the motherfucker you are to get you the hell over there?” Negan snapped, eyes narrowing, moving his right foot up to bend it across his left thigh, “Scotch. NOW,” he smacked Lucille against his boot for emphasis, and Rick jumped slightly before nodding.

Turning he gripped the armchair behind him before slowly rising, pulling himself up. In the next instant Lucille came crashing down on his right shoulder, effectively stopping him and making him feel like his clavical was cracked as he cried out, eyes shut tight as he slammed down onto the seat. He panted, hands gripping the arms of the chair, shaking all over as pain radiated from his shoulder. He heard the Leader get up and step firmly forward to where he stood right behind him. Feeling the collar get grabbed, Rick panted as Lucille’s barbs grazed his left ass cheek, dipping down to just move over the rim of his asshole, “What the fuck did I tell you, you little bitch?” Negan growled out, jerking Rick’s collar back, making the prongs dig into him once more as blood trickled slowly down his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, what do you guys think? I will try to get the next chapter up soon! I assure you it will include a certain person's dick, in some other person's hole(s)! ;) Please comment, your comments fuel my inner plot bunnies!


	12. A Drink Fixed, A Reward Forced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan continues to tear at Rick's psyche, starting with his last lesson and leading right into the next. With some scotch to wash it all down, of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first thing I want to do is apologize for the long wait you all have had for this chapter, which quite frankly I am nervous about. I have proofread it, have modified it, and can only hope that it is good enough for the eyes of my faithful readers. Again I ended up halving my next chapter, to ensure that the length might be more. . . manageable. Daryl gets mentioned in the next chapter, and in the chapter after that, we definitely get to see Negan interacting with the show's favorite Red-red-red-red-red-red-redneck. With Rick in tow, of course. Anywho, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Again, sorry if it fails to impress, but I did my best to get something out to you all.  
> Since I last posted, I actually lost a job and so now I've been job hunting, hoping to get a job again so me and my boyfriend can continue our house hunting, and so you can just imagine the stress from that alone. Not an excuse, but a way of letting you guys know something of what is going on. I had dedicated over three years to that job, put up with tons of shit and emotional baggage, and they terminated me on a technicality that in all reality probably shouldn't have mattered. Hoping to hear from my "new?" job this week in a positive way, fingers crossed for the light of my tunnel to finally switch on.

Rick panted, eyes wide as his body trembled in pain. His fingers dug into the arms of the chair, his nails spiking at the strain his grip caused. He could hear Negan chuckle behind him before the Savior leader jerked back further on the prong collar chain, forcing Rick to stare through blurring eyes at the ceiling of the room rather than the material of the armchair that sat before him as his lungs found it harder to breathe by the second. His mind raced in anticipation of what might be about to happen, and as Lucille continued to press in on his asshole, a portion of her larger end’s tip entering him and causing the barbs surrounding it to scrape at his abused opening, his mind went from a race into an all out panic. 

The thought of that part of her going any further inside him caused Rick’s heart rate to reach new levels and tears to race down from his eyes as he choked out a sob. Her narrower end had been bad enough. But her bigger end going inside him? A part of him wondered if that were humanly possible. Unfortunately what he thought or wondered mattered very little in this situation, that much had been made clear to him by now, and if Negan wanted to put her thicker end in him, he would most certainly find a way to try. Because that was all that mattered right now: what Negan wanted. That fact alone left him with his only option: begging the monster behind him to seek an alternative route. No matter how unlikely it was that Negan would listen to him, he had to either redirect the man’s course of action or stall the man long enough to abate his fate.

“P-please,” Rick whispered, staring back at the man as Negan’s hold on him tightened, forcing the prongs deeper inside his skin and more crimson out of his neck, “Please just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll get you your drink, I’ll do whatever you need me to do, just please. . .” he shook all over, and moaned as Negan arched a black eyebrow, running Lucille up his spine, pressing in and dragging her against his prey as she pulled at Rick’s skin and made more blood stream down his back, a gory picture that only his sadistic torturer would find attractive.

Rick sucked in a deep breath, trying to push the fresh pain that caused on top of the agony he was already in away from his mind. He vaguely wondered just how much pain he’d be able to take before he faded out of consciousness once again. A part of him longed for that, another part feared that that wouldn’t go over well with the Leader behind him. And displeasing him was the last thing he needed to do, he knew that all too well. So passing out was the last thing he needed to do, no matter what brief relief it would bring him. “Please just tell me what I did wrong,” Rick whispered, his voice unable to be any higher in volume than that due to the man’s strangling hold on his throat, “Please, just tell me, Master,” he added the title to try to get Negan to let up on the pain, anything to appease the man and hopefully avoid any further injury. But in spite of his words, Lucille only continued her climb, and he panted as she found his injured collarbone. 

For a moment she circled around it, her barbs lightly grazing it, the ever present threat teasing him as Negan blinked down at him, his face drawn into a serious frown that held annoyance in its creases. The farce of that face was betrayed by the menacing glee that Rick saw flickering in his obsidian eyes. He grit his teeth and licked his lips nervously, his whole body shaking as his heart began to race faster. Negan was getting off on his pain, the cat fucking around with the mouse before the pounce, as it were. But when would Negan tire of his game of predator and prey? When would he pounce? And what could Rick do to keep him from doing so? What could Rick do that would please Negan more than the act of punishing him would? 

“P-please, Master, I’m sorry for what I have done, please, please have mercy. Just tell me what I need to do. Please, just tell m-ack!” he gagged as Negan’s eyes narrowed and the leader twisted his wrist around, pulling the chain of the prong collar tighter, cutting off Rick’s ability to speak entirely. Rick’s eyes widened in his wordless panic, and he tensed all over, waiting for Negan to make his move. 

“I goddamn will if you motherfucking shut up, you little shit,” Negan murmured, as if coddling a child that was taking a particularly long time learning his lessons, before he pressed in further with the bat on Rick’s shoulder. Tossing his head back, Rick shut his eyes tightly and shrieked as pain exploded from that spot, causing stars to flash across his closed lids. Negan stood there moments after he’d let up on the pressure from the bat, waiting for Rick to quiet himself. At first glance that might seem like he was attempting to give Rick a brief reprieve, a moment to catch his breath. But Rick had a feeling Negan wasn’t quite so kind. If anything, he felt the man was making sure that nothing, not even pain, would distract Rick from the Savior leader’s next words. 

Finally Negan spoke, in the same calm manner as before, “Now that that little goddamn fucking fit is over, tell me you sorry piece of shit: how did I goddamn tell you I liked motherfucking seeing you?” Negan said gently as if dealing with a particularly dense child, and Rick opened his pain filled blue eyes, tilting his head back and gazing at Negan, chapped lips shaking as he looked at the man above him. Waiting for a proper response to come to mind but in his pain filled state unable to find a single one that he felt would satisfy the killer behind him.

After a few moments of giving Rick the chance to answer, Negan rolled his eyes and frowned at the former Sheriff with a sigh, portraying disappointment as his eyes showed enjoyment, “I SAID I like motherfucking seeing you on your goddamn knees, you sorry cockslut. . . so, unless you goddamn want to fucking irritate me more, you are going to motherfucking crawl like the bitch you are to that fucking wet bar. Then you can motherfucking stand up, understand you sorry shit?” Rick nodded quickly, doing his best to ignore the pain it caused in his shoulder and throat, “Y-y-y-yes sir, of course, s-s-s-sir.” Negan smirked, a look that chilled Rick to the bone, “Good boy.” 

Rick stared at the man for a moment in disbelief. He’d been anticipating the man to go further with what seemed to have been a mini-lesson for Rick. . .With a dark smirk, Negan let go of the collar, smacking Rick across the back with Lucille and causing him to yelp as pain shot through him across the back side of his rib cage, the force of the blow tossing him onto the carpet again, closer to the fireplace. Rick trembled, hating that he had let up his mental guard for even a minute as Negan kicked his thigh harshly with his boot, ripping a strangled yelp from the injured man’s lips, muttering, “Now, goddamn get to it, you sorry fucker, I’m motherfucking thirsty.” 

Moaning gently, favoring his injured shoulder, Rick slowly moved up onto his one working hand and knees, gazing with bleary eyes at the carpet before shifting, forcing himself forward and towards the wet bar, trying not to think about how pathetic he probably looked and focusing instead on the mechanics of moving his arms and legs forward. Finally reaching the base of cabinet that made up the counter of the bar he sucked in a deep breath and reached up with his left hand, shaking all over as a part of him expected Negan to strike him again. When no hit came, he gripped the wood before grunting and hoisting himself up to lean over the bar, wincing and leaning off of his injured ankle as he did so, his back both popping and screaming in agony at having to change its positioning.

Rick panted, leaning over the sink of the bar and gazing into the emptiness of the drain, waiting for his spinning vision to steady itself before blinking around at the numerous small, medium, and tall glasses lined up along the edges of the dark green granite countertop. Deciding on a medium one for Negan and hoping that the Savior Leader didn’t want anything bigger or smaller than that, he pulled it closer and placed it in the sink. Taking a white rag that hung from an O-ring hook over the cabinet, he ran water in the glass before wiping it down. 

Trying to remember as much as he could about Shane’s wet bar, he set the glass down on the edge of the granite and leaned down, moaning gently as he did so and gritting his teeth together to try his best to stifle his sounds. He didn’t know if they would irritate Negan or excite him, but he really didn’t want to find out regardless. He didn’t see either situation working out well for him in the end. 

Opening the cabinet beneath the sink, he found a small ice chest and groaning, using his left hand, pulled out the scoop provided there with some cubes already resting within it. Moving it up, he poured them into the glass. He watched as they clinked together inside the crystalline vessel, swirling about as if in a tribal dance. The hope that it would be a dance wishing for Negan’s satisfaction regarding the drink flitted across his mind, and Rick contemplated how no other drink in his life had meant so much. 

He sighed, closing his eyes before opening them again and turning back to the cabinets to the right of the wet bar. There would be no way of satisfying the sadist if there was no drink in said glass, after all. Gritting his teeth he gripped the jagged door knob in his one good hand and pulled the dark oak door open, revealing numerous bottles of liquor hidden within.

Next came the tough part, he realized as he faced the screw-top bottle of scotch that sat on the second shelf. He both wondered why it was screw top and felt a severe lack of surprise that the bottle’s very manufacturing would only make his task more difficult. Gripping it and pulling it out to rest it on the counter beside the sink, he leaned over it and wrapped his right arm around the bottle tightly, hoping the container wouldn’t slip and shatter on the floor and moaning at the pain of moving his shoulder blades in such a way. 

Tensing around the bottle and trying to ignore the slight numbness that caused throughout his arm’s nerves, Rick then used his left hand to twist at the cap, popping it off before he leaned against the wall, panting with teary eyes as he gripped the bottle and turned it over, watching as the glass slowly filled with the amber liquid, hoping that its presence would at least put a pause in Negan’s swinging of Lucille at him. If not then all of his pain-filled ministrations would have been for naught, something he honestly didn’t think his psyche could handle. “That’s good Ricky,” Negan’s voice suddenly slurred from behind him, and Rick jumped as the callous hand of the killer rubbed his shoulder, nails raking against the scratches made by Lucille moments earlier. The motion caused his hand to jerk and for scotch to spill out around the glass, racing down the sides. Honestly it was all he could do not to drop the bottle. 

Rick’s heart pounded in his ears as he stared at the liquid, frozen for a moment before quickly putting the bottle back upright on the counter, his hand shaking and making the glass base rattle against the counter top. He barely kept it from falling down into the sink as he waited, nerves wracked beyond repair it seemed, for Negan’s next move. When none came and the man’s hand merely rested on his shoulder, his fingers twiddling against Rick’s now bloody, clammy skin, he shuddered and closed his eyes, taking advantage of the man’s apparent hesitation to try to prevent the man from reaching a less than desirable conclusion regarding his next move, “I-I’m sorry, I. . . I didn’t mean t-t. . .” Negan paused for a moment that stretched on like eternity, then chuckled darkly behind him, slapping his shoulder hard and making Rick utter a stifled cry through his teeth, bowing his head and shutting his eyes against the pain before the man leaned forward and grasped the glass.

“Calm down ya shit. I won’t goddamn punish you over a little bit of fucking spilled scotch. . . At least you fucking got the damn shit in the goddamn glass. As slow as you were motherfucking moving, I goddamn wondered if you’d ever fucking manage that! . . .Shame that it fucking spilled though, I outta fucking make you goddamn lick it off of the fucking sides, but I’ll use the fucking rag for once and goddamn leave it for you to goddamn clean the rest up off the goddamn counter. Then I damn well want you to fucking join me across the goddamn room, can you motherfucking understand that shit?” Rick opened his eyes in disbelief as the man’s hand grasped the rag and brought it to where he stood behind Rick.

As if tugged by some invisible force, Rick turned his head, staring as Negan chuckled, eyes glinting darkly at him, a crooked, malicious smile on his face as he shook his head and turned to the glass with the rag. As he was lifting the material to the slim, flat surface of the sides though, the man paused and his eyes flickered back to Rick before his smile turned into a larger,playful smirk. One that didn’t make Rick happy but rather sick to his stomach. “Unless you goddamn want to fucking do it anyway. Tell me Ricky Boy, how fucking much would you want to goddamn lick my scotch off this fucking glass? Goddamn tell me, do you want to clean it the fuck off like the bitch we both damn know you goddamn are?”

Rick gulped, glancing at the liquid streaking down the glass then at Negan’s smug face. He didn’t like scotch, not particularly, but he didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to try to please Negan. . . and to try to stave off future punishment. . . no matter what it cost him concerning embarrassment. In ways, he supposed he’d already been embarrassed far worse by the man. 

So, leaning forward, sticking his tongue out slowly, he raced it up the side of the cold glass, shaking all over both from the strain of leaning closer and from the darkness that only intensified in the man’s eyes as he watched the brunette’s tongue slide up and catch the liquid sliding down the vertical surface. “Good goddamn choice,” Negan murmured and turned the glass in his hand, his teeth gleaming in a horrid smile as Rick continued to race his tongue up the crystalline surfaces, the small amounts of liquid doing little to quench his parched throat. Pulling the glass away finally, Negan smirked at Rick, leaning in to where the two of them were mere inches apart. His hot breath hit Rick’s face and it caused a chill to go down the brunette’s spine as he waited for the mad man’s next move. He watched as the other man’s tongue flicked out and raced over his lips before moving back inside his caverns. The brunette’s glassy blue eyes watched the man’s lips quirk in a soft rolling chuckle as he caught Rick watching him so apprehensively.

Rick bowed his head, breathing hard and clenching the fingers on his left hand only to extend them again as he leaned back and gripped the wet bar for support. Negan’s musk, his scent, his presence, it made it difficult for him to breathe, much less stand. It was so smothering, so consuming. Like a wave that had hit him and was dragging him beneath the ocean’s surface. Any relief he found was bitter, and the moments in between threatened to crush him and rip him apart with their pulls upon his soul. Suddenly the killer’s hand with the drink in it moved up and the rim of the glass closest to Rick pressed into his scruffy chin before forcing his head up so that his worried blue eyes gazed into Negan’s conceited black holes. 

Negan didn’t say anything for a moment, then tilted his head, shaking it. “Now how the fuck about that. You fucking spill my Scotch and I let you goddamn lick some off of my motherfucking glass. Something for your goddamn thirst and HELL, it’s alcohol at that. Look at what you’re goddamn making me do, Ricky Boy. I always goddamn try not to do it with my pets, especially not in the motherfucking beginning, but I can’t seem to goddamn help it with you. . . I guess what I’m trying to say is that I realize that I’m goddamn. . . well, I’m motherfucking spoiling the fucking shit out of you. Now what the fuck kind of owner does that goddamn make me? Well, now that I’ve fucking spoiled you I guess the motherfucking least I can do is teach you some goddamn manners. Salvage my goddamn training of you at least a motherfucking bit. So, let’s help you learn some motherfucking manners. . . In fact, I’ll set you up to know the right fucking answer off the fucking bat. Make it even easier on you, you goddamn worthless piece of shit. Now, I just gave you something you fucking didn’t goddamn deserve Ricky boy. What do you motherfucking say?” 

Rick sucked in a deep breath, the taste of the Scotch on his tongue becoming more repulsive to him by the second as the man by which it got there pushed him even further, his hand clenching around the countertop to the point of splitting the tips of his nails against the hard stone. Letting the breath out he bowed his head and whispered a shaky, “Thank you, sir.” Negan smirked at him, and tossed the rag he’d been holding at the man’s good hand as it gripped the counter. Rick jumped as the material fell onto the floor, Negan moving the glass away in time to take a sip of the scotch before Rick could bump it in his quick movement. “Now that’s a goddamn good boy, so go right the fuck ahead and fucking clean up the counter. When you’re done, I’ll be at the goddamn map, you sorry ass fucking bitch.” Turning, he marched across the room, and Rick watched him go, shaking slightly before turning and quickly wiping off the counter. 

Once he had wiped up the liquid then wiped the counter down with soapy water as a precautionary measure not against ants but against Negan’s wrath, he wringed out the rag as best as he could and laid it in the sink. Once that was done he took a step back, bowing his back and slowly lowering himself to the floor once more before turning and blinking with pain filled eyes at Negan, his shoulder throbbing with each heartbeat.

Assuming that Negan would want him to crawl over to him, Rick grit his teeth and began to force himself towards the killer as he stood across the room from him, in spite of every part of his body wanting to get up and get as far away from the Savior leader as humanly possible. A part of his brain screamed that now would be the time to do it whilst the sadist was blinking at the map, sipping at the drink in his glass with his firm, wide shoulders turned to Rick. Rick gulped as his eyes temporarily darted to the two large oak doors that led to possible freedom whilst his mind went back to another time when Negan’s back had been turned to Rick, like right now, as if the former sheriff was nothing to him. 

Instantly Rick felt like he had back in the RV, staring at Negan’s turned back as he attempted to start the damn vehicle . . . “‘I’m gonna kill you,’” Negan had chuckled, “Are you kidding me? Did you see what just happened? What I JUST DID?” he had then sighed, “You just. . . Your best chance. . . Is to stand up, grab that axe, and drive it through the back of my head. See how ya do!” 

Rick breathed hard as he continued to move towards the Leader, painfully closing the distance between them. The flippancy Negan had spoken with then was the same as the one with which he stood now. He gave Rick the opportunity to attack or escape because he knew the man wouldn’t succeed. Because he knew that Rick knew his chances were better facing the torment the man might have in mind rather than running or fighting for his freedom. 

Rick blinked as he continued to move, eyes flitting to Lucille as she sat propped up with her narrower end lying against the edge of the desk whilst her thicker end, stained with Rick’s blood, pressed against the floor. That made Rick wonder. . . maybe he did want Rick to attack, because he would find it hilarious to take Rick down again. Unfortunately for the madman, Rick wasn’t going to try that, and even if he wanted Rick to attack, Rick figured the man was smart enough to know that Rick knew a cold truth the Savior Leader had toted around from the beginning . . .

Negan had known the minute he’d walked out in that circle created by Rick’s group that he was untouchable. Unbeatable. An unstoppable force. And now, Rick knew that too. All he could do was try to appease the determiner of where that force would be directed next. For his and Alexandria’s sake. Those were the thoughts running through the brunette’s head as he forced himself across the room until he sat beside Negan’s booted feet, head bowed and hands in his lap, gazing with teary eyes at them as his body throbbed. No, if Negan wanted him to fight, he’d be disappointed. Rick would never chance putting any of his loved ones, his family, in the path of the sadist’s potential wrath. 

He waited like that for what seemed like forever, chancing glances up at the darker haired man every now and again to see what Negan would do next, waiting until Negan would acknowledge him and perform the next “lesson”, whatever it may be. Knowing that moving away from that spot, when Negan had specifically told him to join him there, was not an option, no matter how much he wanted it to be. If he wanted to keep everyone safe, it couldn’t be his wants that mattered, but Negan’s. And so he waited, and as the minutes ticked past he felt the anxiety within him grow as he wondered about what horrible thing Negan was going to do to him next . . . and hoped that he would be able to handle it. . . at least to some extent.

As Negan brought the glass down on the table with a loud thud, Rick grit his teeth and tensed all over, staring at the sadist as he moved his hand away from the half empty glass of scotch and grabbing some paper from a portion of the desk closest to the wall, pulled it towards himself. Grabbing a sharpie from somewhere else on the tabletop and putting the cap between his teeth, the Savior Leader proceeded to open the pen, turning and spitting the cap in Rick’s general direction where it hit the man’s chest and made him jump. 

Rick found himself staring at it as it went to the floor, rolling under the desk and out of sight. “Make yourself goddamn useful and get it the fuck up,” Negan muttered, and although the man leaned seemingly distractedly over the table, writing something down on the paper he’d pulled towards himself earlier and seemingly not putting much emphasis on his demand, a quick cutting look from his dark onyx eyes let Rick know that his new lesson had begun, which was most likely the same as the one the man had seemed hell bent on teaching him repeatedly thus far: to do what Negan said, regardless of the request. Rick gulped, his body tensing as it remembered the negative consequences that could occur with such a lesson’s failure. 

WIth those consequences in mind, the brunette moved slowly under the table, glancing at Lucille as she leaned against the desk on the side of Negan closest to him. It was the killer’s left side, not his right one, and so Rick knew that since it would take more time for Negan to reach over and grab her to swing at him, she was there solely to remind him of what would happen if he misbehaved, and Negan’s ability to harm him regardless of how much he appeared to be at a disadvantage.

Turning, he began to search for the discarded cap as Negan continued, “So, I fucking obviously know ya got my guns, and I fucking assume ya got meds. . . seeing as the Hilltop shipment seemed to be motherfucking low in inventory on them the last goddamn time we received shit from there. . .” there was a pause as Rick found the cap and Negan let his words sink in. As Rick’s good hand closed around the item, Negan continued, nudging Rick’s leg as he did so, “Tell ya what you sorry fuck, if your motherfucking people don’t give me too many goddamn problems, I might consider letting those fucking pussies keep the guns, or at least a goddamn few of them. Enough to fucking get more supplies for my own community I’m trying to fucking build here . . . But if I’m gonna hold off on that goddamn Gory Memory and all those motherfucking asses living there, I’m gonna have to get most of your fucking friends’ medicine.” “Y-you said half, before. . .” Rick whispered automatically.

He was thinking of Carl, and how in a split second his son had gone from being fine to needing immediate medical care when he’d lost his eye. He was thinking of Maggie, and her unborn child. Who knew how much more medical care they would need? He thought of Judith. She was still growing, what if something happened to her? In that moment his mind went to all of those places, but clearly not to the one he needed it to because in one movement, Negan grabbed Lucille in his left hand and twisting his wrist, slammed her hard down on top of the table.“What the fuck was that?!” he snapped, and Rick jumped, staring wide eyed at the floor, the desk table shaking around him. 

“N-nothing, I’m . . . I’m sorry, sir,” he said quickly, hoping Negan would let his previous comment slide due to his rapid apology. “You listen to me, and you listen damn well, you fucking piece of motherfucking pussyass shit. . .I decide what’s fucking half,” Negan muttered, and Rick gasped, his bones popping in his injured ankle as Negan stepped on it, slowly and painfully as he put his weight down on the healing joint. Bowing his head, he moaned with fresh tears racing down his face as pain flooded up his leg and spine,“Y-yes sir,” Rick let the words tumble out, tears streaming down his face, “S-sorry, I’m s-s-sorry for qu-qu-questioning you.” 

“That’s more like it,” Negan muttered in a still-disapproving tone, and pulling his foot off of him, kicked Rick sharply in the same ankle. Rick jumped, whimpering as he banged his head and back against the table, before bowing his head with his eyes shut. With an irritated growl from Negan, Rick quickly backed out from under the table, moving around and facing Negan’s side again, gazing at the blurry boots of the man and hoping that that was what his growl had meant. Offering up the pen cap, he felt it get snatched out of his hand and heard it get popped back on the sharpie. Shuddering, he waited for Negan’s next move.

“You’re learning a bit quicker now,” Negan muttered after what seemed like forever. Rick had little time to find any relief in those words, though, as the sound of a zipper being undone was heard. Rick chanced a glance up and stared as Negan pushed his gray jeans and red boxers down to his knees, “So maybe you goddamn deserve a fucking reward. . . Tell me, do you goddamn agree? Does the Goddamn Motherfucking Georgia Pussyass Peach of a Fucking Shitty Sheriff deserve a treat?” Negan slurred and Rick jerked his eyes up to the man’s face, seeing the look of malice in the obsidian rounds as the man smirked down at him, gripping his own cock and rubbing his fingers up and down it, teasing his tip with precum before working the liquid up and down the thick member, fondling his balls gently when he’d reach the base. 

Rick instantly tried to look anywhere but at Negan’s hand moving up and down the man’s cock, finally resting on the map on the wall. He blinked at the A scrawled where Alexandria was. Where his family was. The reason he was here, the reason he’d continue to accept what Negan and even Doctor Carter would do to him. “You want to fucking help them, you might as well watch, you fucking slut,” Negan grunted in a husky voice, and Rick turned, blinking at him with glassy eyes as the man smirked a crooked smile down at him, “I’m doin’ this for you now, you fucking shit, but one day you’ll be required to fuckin’ do it. And who knows what’ll be the consequence if you can’t. . . Maybe I take your kid’s other fucking eye. Make him all fucking symmetrical.” Rick grit his teeth, doing his best to hold back a retort, and moved his eyes to Negan’s cock, forcing himself to watch the calloused hand pump it up and down, back and forth.

Rick felt his breath quicken as the man closed his eyes, continuing his obscene ministrations to his cock as he used his other hand to lift his glass to his lips. Drinking some of it as he continued his stroking, he moved his gaze back to his cock. Twisting his wrist around to grip his dick tightly at its base, the man lowered the glass and let the last of the liquid within race down the upper side of his cock, “But for now, how’s about this for a fucking treat, you fucking piece of shit? How about I offer you the last of my drink, you little cockslut?” 

Rick watched as the brown liquid moved along the man’s cock as it trickled down towards the floor, following the ridges of the veins of Negan’s dick as the long organ twitched at the tickling sensations. “I. . . I. . .” Rick stumbled over his words, trying to find a reason for himself to not get “rewarded”, especially not the way Negan wanted him to be. He knew he had to be careful, though. If he angered the man he didn’t want to think what the consequences would be. He gulped hard as a drop of scotch fell to the floor. “Well?” Negan slurred, his tone malicious and expectant. Rick darted his blue eyes up to the Savior leader’s, pleading with him, “I don’t . . . I don’t deserve a rew-” 

Negan chuckled, and putting the glass down, reached down and around to grip the back locks of Rick’s hair and pull him forward, so that his cock pressed against the brunette’s lips, precum and scotch slipping between Rick’s closed lips to his tongue. Rick felt his heart race in anticipation, the smell not an attractant but a deterrent. He darted his eyes up, feeling tears bead up in them, silently begging the man to not force him to do what he was clearly wanting him to. He’d take the man fucking him, pounding into him and tearing at his insides, to this. Somehow that seemed less humiliating. . . 

Negan let a cold smirk cross his face, “No need to be fucking scared you pussyass piece of shit. You see, it’s ok Ricky Boy. You have to goddamn understand, whether you motherfucking think you deserve one or not is goddamn irrelevant you little shit. Ya see, I fucking decide when you get something to motherfucking drink and when you don’t, and when you goddamn eat and when you don’t. And if I decide I want to see those puffy pink lips of yours sucking motherfucking scotch off my goddamn thickass cock as I ram it inside that little tight fucking throat of yours. . .” 

He thrust forward and Rick gagged as the man entered him, forcing his way through the brunette’s lips. Rick instantly opened his jaw to avoid harming Negan’s cock with his teeth, knowing that doing so would not help his situation. With that, the brunette man shivered, eyes shutting tight as tears streaked down to fall onto the carpet below as he whimpered around the intrusive organ, his mouth widening all the way as his nose was forcibly buried in the man’s dark pubic hair. “That’s just what’s gonna fucking happen,” Negan finished darkly with a chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, what do you think? Mostly this was supposed to be a tame chapter, with Negan just continuing to fuck with Rick, trying to tear his psyche down to make him the perfect slave/pet. Please comment! I'd love to hear what you all think! And I hope it was worth the precious time you spent reading it! Did you guys like the "Bartender Rick" part? Just so you know, he does surface again as a way of Rick working his way up a little in Negan's point of view in order to be able to try to alter the situation in his favor. He may not be able to do much of anything. . . but he can fix a drink! ;)


	13. When To Speak & When To Be Silent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan takes his lesson of teaching Rick when to talk and when to use his mouth for other things to a whole new level.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, miss me? I apologize for not updating in so long, and apologize if I have lost anyone through not updating or through the intensity of this story. I have felt guilt settle within me each time I have come on here and read other people's magnificent stories without updating my own, but honestly, there have been some stressors for me this holiday season which I will not go into because I doubt anyone would want to hear of them, and this story, due to its intensity, can be a hell of a thing to write or proofread. For those of you who are still with me, I will say that this is a chapter that has a lot of intensity and a lot of detail. I promise that soon we will start to see Rick getting the upper hand on Negan, but of course, the bad must get worse before it can get better, and I have never said that this is a happy tale.  
> I also want to, out of respect for all of you, give you a warning. It can be considered a trigger warning, but I will just put it as a warning: IF YOU DO NOT LIKE STRANGULATION OR THE EFFECTS OF ASPHYXIATION, DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER.  
> PLEASE, PLEASE, KNOW YOUR OWN LIMITS, AND EITHER DON'T READ IT OR STOP READING IF YOU THINK THAT THIS WILL BE TOO MUCH FOR YOU. I WILL HAVE THE NEXT CHAPTER POSTED VERY SOON (IT IS AT LEAST 3 QUARTERS OF THE WAY COMPLETE). IT WAS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE A PART OF THIS CHAPTER, BUT I CUT THIS CHAPTER SHORT, SO THAT IF YOU DON'T READ IT, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FOLLOW ALONG WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER JUST FINE. I REPEAT: IF YOU DON'T LIKE STRANGULATION, DO NOT READ, JUST WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER WHICH WILL BE UP SOON! YOU WILL BE FINE!  
> That being said, I do think that this chapter is relevant, because again it plays a role in breaking Rick down and leading into the next chapter.  
> For those of you who are willing to continue on, I hope you enjoy this chapter in all of its brutal glory. It was very difficult to write and proofread, but as with all my stories, I stick by it as it forms on its own, and while it is intense, I do marvel at the details put into it, and hope it is well worth the read. Enjoy!

Rick breathed hard around the man’s cock, sucking in a deep breath tainted with the Leader’s natural musk through his nose and letting it out as best he could around the appendage currently lodged inside his maw and poking at the back of his throat. As his warm breath moved over the sensitive organ, Negan’s hand found his brown curls, tangling within them as he groaned appreciatively at the unintended stimulation, jerking his hips forward and forcing Rick to fight his gag reflex, swallowing the bile back down his throat and willing himself not to jerk away from the man’s hips. He doubted that would be acceptable, after all. But perhaps that effort would be all for naught anyway, since given the size of Negan’s cock which was currently trying to block all of his airways and the fact that it was NOT one of the things he’d love to have there, he didn’t know if he could perform in an “acceptable” manner anyway. 

He felt like he could barely handle the man’s dick in his mouth and throat with it being still, and that was just by holding his mouth around it as if it were some cheap cocksleeve you’d get at a specialty store. He expected that he would need to do a lot more than that to please the man above him, and quite frankly, he wondered if he’d be able to do anything of the sort. Giving a whine to the sadist, tears beading at the sides of his eyes due to the strain his jaws currently felt, Rick silently begged Negan to take the cock out of his mouth, his body shaking as his hands clenched against the carpet beneath him. Anxiety raced through him, not just at the thought of giving Negan a blow job, but at the thought of potentially giving him a bad one. Even if Negan had been the one to suggest this from the beginning and so technically would be to blame for receiving a shitty performance Rick knew that he and Alexandria would most likely pay for any mistakes he made or anything he failed to do.

The pressure that arose from that threatened to smother him with fear and anticipation. “Now, now, calm down Ricky boy,” Negan slurred from up above, and Rick shivered, choking out a weak sob around the man’s cock, the man’s coddling tone not helping him in the slightest as it pulled him out of his own thoughts. 

“Listen to me,” Negan continued in that calm, husky tone. Rick paused, trying to let the man know he was paying attention as his glassy eyes gazed ahead into the skin that stretched between the man’s thighs, at the balls dangling just inches from his face, at the pubic hairs threatening to tickle his nose and make him sneeze. Yeah, he was sure that would yield really lovely results . . . closing his eyes, he tried to block all of that out and focus on Negan’s next words, which oddly were taking their time to come forth. What was he waiting for? “I saaaaid, LISTEN! AND WHEN I SAY LISTEN YOU BETTER GODDAMN LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING PRICK!” At that Lucille came down like a sledgehammer on Rick’s backside. Rick yelped as pain sparked and shot up his spine as he felt like a rib was cracked by the force of the man’s strike. He quickly darted his bloodshot eyes up to the face of the man in front of him, just barely keeping his teeth from biting down in his pain.

Negan let a smirk cross his face, eyes glinting with malice as he twirled the bat around at the end of his arm, some of Rick’s blood flying off and landing on the man on the floor, “There we go, now is that gonna be so fucking hard to understand? To goddamn look at me when I’m fucking talking to you?”

Rick shivered and shook his head, trying his best to ignore the sickening feeling of the man’s wide cock moving in and out of his mouth as he did so, brushing against the insides of his cheeks and gliding over his tongue, leaving a revolting taste of scotch and precum in its wake. He wanted nothing more than to spit the cock out, or better yet, bite it off of the man in front of him. The taste alone nearly made him want to wretch, and the fact that the hardness of the organ proved Negan was getting off on shaming Rick like this only made him hate it more.Negan chuckled and wiggled his hips a little, “I know it’s hard now, but don’t worry Pet, you’ll get fucking used to it. Trust me, with those lips of yours, you’ll be a cockslut in no time. Soon, you’ll beg to have me in that mouth of yours, craving my taste. But for now, you better do your damn best to fake it for me, you sorry shit. After all, if I’m not happy, then you certainly won’t be happy for long, now isn’t that right you fucking prick?” With that he jerked his hips forward.

Rick moaned as the man’s actions forced the organ to move further into his mouth, the fingers of his left hand digging into the carpet as his nose fought to get oxygen into his struggling lungs, that function alone getting tougher by the instant as Negan’s hips collided with his face, busting his nose with the man’s sudden force and causing blood to start streaming from his nostrils and over his lips and chin. Negan paused for a few moments before getting a firmer grip on his hair and yanking, making Rick whine in pain. “Fucking keep up asshole, I asked you a goddamn question. . . DAMN I hope that you’ll learn to answer me with a bit more goddamn promptness in the future, because the way you’re acting right now is just fucking pathetic. . .”  Rick’s lips shivered as the fresh blood from his nose continued to race over them, moving down through his beard and onto the carpet below, but he nodded, forcing his head up and down. 

 

Negan chuckled and jerked harder on the man’s hair making Rick utter a muffled wail around the cock in his mouth, wondering vaguely if he’d have any hair on his head while he was Negan’s prisoner, “Atta boy, now if only you could do that like ten fucking times faster next time, you’ll be on the right track. Now you can suck, you can lick, you can play with my balls, you can deep throat me. Hell, you’re definitely gonna be doing THAT, and I would suggest you do your goddamn best to relax for that part,” Negan chuckled, and pivoting his hips back, pulled his cock out slowly to where the head of it was just between Rick’s red lips, the slow gradual motions causing his dick to slowly get coated with the blood coming from Rick’s nose. 

Rick felt his heart race as he gazed at the saliva and blood covered cock as it moved out of him, feeling the round head of it just inside his lips. Unable to bring himself to look at the length of the cock in front of him for much longer, he closed his eyes, knowing that his face was red with shame as Negan continued, “But you better not goddamn bite.” With that he thrust back inside Rick so quickly the man had no time to prepare himself, making him gag as his eyes shot open. Rick didn’t have a minute to adjust before Negan chuckled, beginning to rapidly pump himself in and out of the man, mercilessly assaulting Rick’s tightened throat as the man tried vainly to relax the channel to accommodate the rapid repeated invasion caused by the man’s thrusts.

Rick panted and gagged around Negan’s thick cock as his shoulder, forced to move with the man’s movements, screamed in pain, Negan’s hand holding his scalp firmly beneath his fingers and forcing Rick’s head to remain around his cock as he thrust in and out of the brunette. The taste of the Scotch, Negan’s precum, and his own blood was revolting as the Savior Leader moved quickly and forcefully across his tongue and between his lips at such a rate that split Rick’s lips open in multiple places. Rick scrambled to stay upright as Negan’s assault forced his face to make contact with the man’s hard hips with each inward thrust and rocked his body with the man’s passion, hands splayed against the carpet, trying desperately to prop himself up on them. He struggled even more to breathe, forcing his bile down for fear that that could only make things worse. He wouldn’t be surprised if Negan kept fucking him even as he hurled up whatever was in his stomach around the man’s member. 

As the nerve endings in his shoulder twisted and pinched together in such a way that made his arm go numb and slack, he almost slammed into the  floor and yelped as he quickly put his broken hand on the floor to try to stay upright, screaming as pain shot up it. That alone threatened to take his consciousness away from him, but as with most things recently, Rick was nowhere near that lucky.

His struggles only seemed to egg Negan on, and as he moaned and grunted around the man’s cock it only seemed to grow, serving to further strangle him. As his oxygen supply continued to diminish in spite of his attempts to breathe through his nose, Rick’s throat began to contract and expand rapidly as his body went into a form of panic that could only be brought on by a desperate need for air.“Oooooh fuck yeah,” Negan groaned and Rick glanced up to see in between the black spots that peppered across his vision a picture of the man with his head craned back, rocking his hips with that same  insane grin on his face that had been there when he’d bashed Glenn’s head in, “Damn I knew my dick would feel so goddamn good in that prick mouth of yours! Goddammit I LOVE BEING MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT!” Rick closed his eyes, letting his tears of pain and sorrow fall down his face.

He had thought that nothing could be worse than the physical anguish of Lucille, and a part of him still thought he had been right in that, but another part of him was beginning to wonder if Negan’s sexual assaults were worse than his bat. It was just so much more personal this way, and in that moment, he wondered if he would rather be beaten to a bloody pulp than deal with this. As he pondered this and Negan fucked his throat raw, he felt the man slow and his crystal blues opened to blink as he looked ahead at Negan’s slowing hips. Was Negan done? Had he somehow felt that whatever point he had been trying to make had been made? Was it all about to be over? The hand left his head and he let out a sigh of relief around the hard cock in his mouth, temporarily getting feeling back as his shoulder was allowed to relax. He slowly put his uninjured hand down to be a new support, relief flooding him at the man’s mercy. That relaxation lasted only a moment before he was forced to gag again and whimper around the Leader’s cock as the ring to his collar was grabbed.

He coughed out sobs around Negan’s dick, grateful he hadn’t bit it in surprise as the prongs dug painfully into his skin. “Fucking lick your bone and play with your balls, you little bitch. Like a Good Pet should,” Negan hissed darkly, “And you better fucking look at me when you do it. Let me see those crystal blues.” Rick gulped hard and slowly raised shaking eyes to Negan’s own smug dark ones. There was no more pleading in his gaze. He knew that was never going to work. So instead he began to work his tongue around the man’s cock as he slowly lifted his bad hand to fondle Negan’s balls, trying to remember how he liked his own fondled whenever Lori or Michonne would pleasure him in such a way.

If given the chance, he wasn’t sure if he would let anyone do this to him ever again. He knew he couldn’t be as bad as Negan, but just the memory of this would be enough to take any pleasure out of the experience, he was sure. It was like a twisted form of being scared straight. . . 

The ball fondling was easy enough even with his damaged hand, but his tongue was another story, his maneuverability with it daunted by how far Negan was pushing into his mouth as well as the man’s girth. His tongue strained from the effort, causing even more pain to enter his senses and causing more glassy tears to build up in his eyes as he tried to wrap the tongue around the fat, stiff cock. Negan flashed his teeth at the man with a smile, seemingly enjoying Rick’s pathetic effort, “Yeah, fucking hell yes that’s goddamn turning me on. You like my fucking dick in your prick mouth, don’t you Ricky?” Rick breathed hard through his nose and nodded around the cock, trying not to wince as the action caused the prongs to dig deeper against his skin. 

 

”Now, I’m gonna start going back and forth again, and you better make it worth my fucking while. I want you fucking licking and sucking on me like it’s the best feeling in the goddamn world to serve me this way, you fucking understand me?” Negan remarked coldly, and Rick’s eyes darted over as the man laid Lucille down on the desk once again, the unspoken threat of her pain in addition to the agony Rick felt still very much there. Rick nodded, the dick sliding back and forth between his swollen, broken lips, the salty precum leaking out of his mouth making them sting. “Good boy,” Negan praised in a frighteningly calm voice, “Then let’s go in for fucking Round 2 with that slutty mouth of yours.” Moving back, he thrust back inside, and the rapid pace from before began anew.

Rick tried his best to do what Negan wanted, licking and sucking at the man  
as best as he could manage. But no matter how hard he tried to please the sadist he felt like a kid fumbling about as he attempted his first dance with a girl-to his credit this was his first time giving a  blowjob-and he wished that the consequences regarding error would be just as minimal. But this wasn’t some girl he was trying to impress. This was Negan, the Leader of the Saviors and one of the people that determined whether Rick, Carl, or any of his group would live to breathe another day. That made his inability to function his tongue properly around the man’s cock seem so much more detrimental. He tried to keep his hand on Negan’s balls moving as quickly and gently as possible to help compensate for his self-perceived inability to suck the man off properly and prayed to any god that might be out there that that would be enough to appease the man as Negan jerked periodically on the collar around his throat, making him gag and choke around his cock. 

He supposed the man sought to cause the vibrating sensations that such actions brought about because every time he succeeded in strangling Rick and forcing crystalline tears from his baby blue eyes he gave guttural grunts and husky words of satisfaction as he continued to throat fuck the former sheriff. Unfortunately while that did serve to please Negan, it also made Rick lightheaded, his mind in a constant fog as he forced himself to continue looking at the man above him. 

Minutes passed by like years as they continued on like that with Rick praying the man would finally cum but dreading the moment when he would. “Oh fucking Christ,” Negan muttered, gazing down at him with that insane, smug smirk on his face, his eyes as black as pitch as he rocked his hips back and forth quickly, “Goddamn it you little shit, I’m about to fucking cum. And you better fucking believe it, the thought of cumming in that pretty little prick mouth of yours is so goddamn tempting. But with how you’ve lubed me on up. . .” an evil look went through his eyes like a flash of fire at that, “It’d seem a shame to waste this sort of fucking OPPORTUNITY.” 

Before Rick knew what was happening he had been grabbed by his cracked shoulder and before he had a chance to cry out he was slammed onto the table, pressing down on the paper Negan had been writing on and the wet, opened sharpie. He was only just lucky enough to miss the now empty Scotch glass. The last thing he needed was a bunch of glass digging into him. Unfortunately the quick movement did make him land hard on his injured hand, forcing a strangled cry from his lungs as it felt like the hand was rebroken, the healing bones snapped anew and popped out of place. He grunted, panting with wide eyes as he stared at the map and as he felt Negan twist the chain of the collar in his grip, the man behind him pulling on his neck to force Rick up higher on the tabletop. Gagging  and hacking up mucus, blood, and precum, Rick quickly scrambled up further until his ass was in the air and he was allowed to fully collapse against the wood. “Damn I can’t wait to be in that tight ass again,” Negan hissed with a smirk.

Rick choked out a sob, slowly lowering his forehead to the table top and wincing as pain radiated from his stitches and the pressure forced blood to ooze out from between them. “Spread those goddamn legs for me you fucking slut, unless you don’t want me to ram inside that fine ass of yours . . .” Negan let the question hang in the air, using one hand to slap Rick’s right butt cheek hard. Rick moaned and slowly widened his legs, his breath coming in quick, shattered gasps as his heart began to race, memories of the last time Negan had fucked him causing his anxiety level to rise even more. No, he didn’t want Negan inside him, but how could he deny the man? After all, who knew what suffering would occur if he didn’t do what he said?  

A part of him was expecting Negan to prolong the pressure like the first time and slowly enter him, and so he was surprised and his cry got caught in his throat as the man pushed right into him in one move, one hand holding his chain whilst the other’s nails dug into his thigh. As he gasped, staring ahead at the map, he tried to determine whether this was any better than before. In a way he supposed it was better this way, in that Negan had taken him quickly and not drawn it out. But the sharp burning pain from his anus where Negan had just ripped him anew and the tightening grip of the pronged collar  begged to differ with that opinion. 

“Damn,” Negan muttered, jerking Rick’s head back and Rick grunted, his eyes staring straight at the “A” written on the map. For a moment all the people he’d been forced daway from flashed before his face, and he shuddered as Negan repositioned his thighs slightly behind him, his skin rubbing against Rick’s, “I don’t know if you felt better last time or if you feel better this time, you little shit. Guess we’ll fucking find out.” Rick sucked in a deep breath as the man’s hips moved away slowly before jumping and crying out as the murderer slammed back into him.

For ages it seemed Negan pounded Rick into the table, the brunette’s crotch slamming into it repeatedly as the pronged collar held his neck tightly, making Rick’s sobs get caught in his throat and held there causing only grunts, moans, and gurgling sounds to come out of his lips as blood trickled down onto the table below, Negan’s other hand holding his ass down. The slaps of the man’s skin on his and the man’s grunts were the only things he heard from Negan for those moments he was thrust against the table. Twice Rick tread the line close to unconsciousness as pain both ripped through his backside and exploded in his crotch, and both times he welcomed it before rejecting it. Nothing would make him happier than to be able to leave what was happening to him, but he knew that even if it wasn’t his choice, Negan would blame him for blacking out and the punishment for that would be far worse than what he was currently enduring.

So he held on, panting as sweat poured from him and Negan pounded into him, tearing him in two like the unstoppable force he was, the brunette wishing for the man to reach his climax and cum inside him if for no other reason than for it to be over. “Goddamn, you’re so fucking tight,” Negan grunted behind him, “Dammit I want you tighter though. I want you so goddamn fucking tighter!” At that the man twisted his wrist and Rick gasped, staring at the ceiling as the chain of the prong collar wrapped around Negan’s hand and the prongs dug into him tighter as the collar was shortened, cutting off his windpipe almost entirely. As the spots began to dance in his vision the man behind him rammed into him harder and Rick whimpered as the struggle for oxygen reached a new intensity.

At first Rick attempted to bring in more air as best he could through his mouth and nose, but when Negan tightened his grip Rick felt his body give up on that, a numbness spreading through him as his jaw and head became heavy and his body started to convulse in protest to the lack of oxygen, forcing his ass to tighten around Negan’s firm, invading cock. Rick’s world went black but for the man ramming into him, the tightening anus being shredded and rubbed raw due to its closer proximity to his dick. Blood raced down his legs and to his shame piss pattered on the carpet as his body went into panic mode, writhing beneath Negan on the table before them. He swore he heard Negan say something about how good it felt, seemingly ignoring the thin stream of liquid leaving his dick-at least he hoped that was the case- but once more everything the man said sounded like he was underwater, and Rick try as he might couldn’t figure out the words with absolute certainty.

His lightheadedness grew with each passing moment as the collar choked at him and dug into his skin, making tears pour from his eyes as blood streaked down from his throat. In sharp contrast to that lightheadedness, a splitting headache was also beginning down the middle of his skull, his ears popping with each passing second. That was all he could feel, his fingers and toes becoming numb as his limbs became slack, ceasing their erratic movements. All he could sense was the feeling of the man behind him pounding into his ass mercilessly as his anus- the only active thing on him- convulsed, contracting and retracting around the man’s dick as it pushed inside him, and the sounds of the table ramming against the wall before them. Rick welcomed the cold grip of unconsciousness as it beckoned to him, hoping to escape the heightened pain. Perhaps Negan was offering him a way out in this twisted lesson of his. If so, Rick was without a doubt willing to take it now. This was torture like he’d never felt, and he wanted out. He wanted out of it so badly . . . 

Suddenly another pounding was heard, and he heard Negan shout something. His forehead screwed up in confusion, his pale lips twitching as his brain tried in its sluggish state to process what his body was hearing. He panted, slowly opening his blurred eyes, and gazed ahead of him, his mouth trembling as he gazed at the bottom of the map before him. The faint sound of a door opening reached his ears. Almost immediately Negan stopped moving, his dick still wedged up inside of Rick, and Rick’s head was jerked back, making his world spin as he threatened to fall out of reality once again. In Negan’s jerking movement, part of the chain unraveled from his hand, loosening the collar and allowing Rick’s airways to open back up. Gasping in air for the first time in what felt like forever, Rick bowed his head, staring at the blood splattered desk beneath him, unsure if said blood was from his forehead, his nose, or his neck, sucking in deep breaths as his lightheadedness slowly ebbed and his headache gently receded, his hearing becoming normal in time to hear Negan address whoever had entered the room. Those had to be the sweetest gasps of air he’d ever taken, he was sure of it, as his nerve endings tingled and sparked back to life.

“I TOLD you to wait a GODDAMN MINUTE!” Negan shouted, jerking on the collar again, and Rick whimpered, eyes closing temporarily as the man continued, “CAN’T YOU SEE I’M FUCKING BUSY?!” “I. . . I know what you s-said s-s-s-sir. . .B-b-but you said th-th-that wh-wh-wh-when,” a timid voice began and Rick groaned, turning his head slightly, looking through tear filled eyes as an obese man with greasy hair and a small equally greasy beard addressed Negan, his small eyes darting about the room in fear, seeming to not want to look at the man fucking his victim at the desk. 

“Fat Joseph, you better spit the hell out whatever the FUCK you came here to say to me, or I’m going to lose my GODDAMN patience really quick. And if that happens, you can fucking take what I’m goddamn dealing out to Rick yourself,” Negan snarled, jerking back on the collar and making Rick choke out a sob, head hanging forward as he closed his eyes at the prongs digging into him, “Believe me, you do NOT want to make me lose my motherfucking patience. Does he Rick?” With that he thrust into Rick hard, slamming Rick’s hips into the table and making him yelp before shaking his head quickly, “N-no sir,” he managed between gasps, “He doesn’t.” “Good boy,” Negan muttered so only the brunette could hear, before the Savior Leader turned to “Fat Joseph”, “So, what the fuck did you come here to goddamn tell me?”

“I. . . I left the door un-unlocked l-like y-you s-said sir,” Joseph said quickly, having a slight tremor in his voice in spite of gaining a bit of confidence whilst Negan and Rick had been talking, “An-and Daryl has es. . . he has gotten out,” he stammered the last phrase out quickly. Rick’s eyes widened as he stared at the bloody, marker covered table beneath him. Daryl had gotten out? He felt a flicker of hope begin in his stomach. After all, even if he was stuck here, if Daryl could get to Alexandria or Hilltop, he could help them fight back. That at least gave them all a chance.

“Aaaah, has he now?” Negan slurred, and Rick’s hope was threatened by the smug tone of the man’s voice, “Figured the dog would take the chance to run.” He grunted and thrust into Rick again causing the brunette to let out another whimper, “Ok, you go get some men and make sure the mutt doesn’t fucking get anywhere past the goddamn compound, Fat Joseph. I’ll finish up here and Rick and I will be on our way.” Fat Joseph nodded quickly, having made an effort to only barely acknowledge Rick the entire time, “Y-yes sir, of c-c-course s-s-s-sir.” Turning, he rushed out, slamming the door behind him.

“Now, where were we?” Negan slurred, not wasting any time before slamming Rick’s head back down on the table with the force of his next thrust.  In no time the jackhammer pace had resumed as Negan began to thrust once more into Rick’s sore ass. Reaching up, his fingers dug into Rick’s scalp before he flung the brunette back onto the table, pressing Rick’s nose and forehead into it like he wanted Rick to be pushed through the wood. 

Rick panted, his head spinning from the pain it caused, and leaning over him, Negan breathed hard on his ear as his elbow shifted to push Rick’s head into the table and the hand that had been in his hair gripped the collar, jerking it back to start to make him gasp for air again against the wood, “Here’s what’s about to goddamn happen Ricky boy. We’re about to go fucking remind your friend just who’s boss here, you fucking piece of shit. See, I’m motherfucking trying to teach him a lesson and the fact that he’s motherfuckin’ tried to escape means that he failed my pop quiz and needs that lesson really hammered home. You are going to try to motherfucking ensure that the hammering doesn’t come from my pretty girl Lucille here,”he hissed in Rick’s ear, “And if you don’t try to help, it’s only going to get fucking worse for you, Ricky boy, and him. Because then I will MAKE you help me hammer it home.”

Rick gulped hard around the collar, tears leaking out of his blue eyes as he choked out a sob. He didn’t want to help Negan at all with whatever the man was trying to teach Daryl, but he certainly understood the threat in the man’s voice and gulped hard before whispering hoarsely, “Wh-what lesson is that?” Negan growled, and jerked harder on the chain, making Rick moan, “You should motherfucking know, you fucking piece of goddamn shit. After all, it’s the same lesson I’m trying to teach you, and that you’re going to eventually fucking learn for fucking good.”

Negan chuckled, “The lesson is that it’s best if people do what I fucking want, because I can always make life so much worse. Your motherfucking buddy Daryl, I want him to be one of my right hand men. He’s got fight, and from what I can tell just by how fucking stubborn he’s being, over the past few years he has been pretty goddamn loyal to the bitch of a leader you were. Now, all that loyalty is going to be put towards me, one motherfucking way or another. And you’re going to help me guide him to that motherfucking conclusion. Soon he’ll be a powerful tool for me to fucking use to reshape this whole goddamn world. Even if I have to break him to fucking pieces to do it. Hell, you know what they say about making fucking omelettes. As for you, I’m gonna make you the best goddamn pet I’ve ever had, sucking me off and being a goddamn fuck toy for me to use as I take each step closer to my goals. Ricky boy, I’m gonna make you the best fucking cock slut there is. You see, the more I fucking fuckity fuck the hell out of you, sooner or later. . .” he chuckled and a rough tongue raced up Rick’s ear lobe as the man jerked behind him, thrusting his cock deeper inside the brunette and making him whimper before he continued, “You’re gonna fucking love having my dick up that fine ass of yours. It’s gonna get so goddamn natural that not having my thick ass cock inside you  is going to feel so awkward that you’re gonna be fucking on your goddamn hands and knees, BEGGING me to stick it back inside you. You understand me, you motherfucker?” Rick sucked in a deep breath and in that moment Negan paused before biting down hard on his ear lobe.

Rick shot his head back, pushing the wounded rear of it against the man behind him’s hand and causing new pain to spike as his blood raced over Negan’s tongue. Negan let go of the lobe and Rick panted as he stared at the map, blood trickling from the ear and down his neck, Negan’s words more painful than the ear that was now throbbing with each pulse. His plans for Rick and Daryl shook him to his core. Sure he’d assumed that Negan would torture them, but to hear the man actually say his plans and ideas made him shake with fear.

Negan growled suddenly and jerked his hips forward, slamming Rick-and by consequence his still injured dick- into the table, “I SAID, DO YOU MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTAND ME?!” Negan snapped, jerking Rick’s head back via the collar and making him gag around it. “Y-yes sir!” Rick whispered, panic dripping from his voice as his world spun and he fought to breathe. “Good boy,” Negan chuckled, “Now I want you to finish me off.” Rick’s breath caught in his throat, this time not due to the chain around his neck, its prongs causing rivers of red to streak down his chest, “Y-you want me to . . . to. . .” “You fucking heard me, you sorry ass bitch. I want you to move that little prick asshole of yours up and down my dick, from right where you’re standing. Buck back into me, you goddamn slut. Make me fucking cum,” Negan slurred, chuckling, “Then right before I cum, just because you took so goddamn long right there to fucking answer me, I’m gonna teach you something else to do with that throat of yours. Hopefully all of this will make you better at answering my goddamn questions in the future. Because, if today was any indication, most of the time you SUCK  at giving me the right answers annnnnnnd, you take too goddamn long to give them the rest of the time. Now start bucking and get ready to open that mouth wide, Ricky, because we’re going to see if you can swallow my cum a little bit faster than you can talk.”

Rick grunted in the next moment as he started to force himself to move back against  
Negan, who had gratefully started to slow his thrusts down a little to allow Rick to move. That did little to ease Rick’s emotional pain, though, as he forced his body back on the cock of the man behind him, forcing his torn, ripped, bleeding arse hole along Negan’s spit and blood slick cock. Tears streaking down from shut eyes, Rick sucked in a deep breath, face contorted in concentration as he forced the cock deeper within himself, before letting that breath out panting as he continued to force his trembling, injured body backwards against the man who had caused him so much pain. Negan chuckled in amusement and grunted in pleasure at his antics. 

After Rick had carried on like that for what felt like forever, Negan let loose three more thrusts that slammed the unexpecting male against the table so hard he was sure the man had cracked his pelvis before bringing a hand down hard on Rick’s injured shoulder, jerking his cock out of the man’s ass so quickly it made Rick shriek at the burning sensation and pain as the nerves in his shoulder were pinched again. Both pains shot through him at paralyzing speeds, and he landed on the floor on his injured back, screaming and arching back as his wounds were made worse by the impact. Before he made to rise a knee came hard down on his chest, knocking the breath out of him and causing him to finally fade out of consciousness just as the spurts of cum from the man kneeling on him could be felt hitting his face and neck. Rick let out a shuddering breath through his trembling, blood soaked lips as the semen struck him, the cold embrace of the darkness quickly taking him from Negan’s moans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, did anyone make it to the end? I certainly hope so, and I hope you enjoyed it. I would love to hear thoughts, good or bad. I understand how intense this chapter was and have to say that I even surprised myself. Very difficult to proofread, but I certainly hope it was worth it. There won't be a lot of strangling in this story, I can assure you of that. This is mostly just Negan being a fucking asshole. :) But if you want some more strangling, let me know and I will consider it. You guys are awesome, I hope it was worth the wait and the read, please please comment if you can!  
> And, as with everything Negan does in this story, please. . . do NOT try anything he does at home! At least not in this way!


	14. The ONLY Way It Was Going To Really Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick and Negan meet up with Daryl in the hopes that Rick can convince Daryl to do as Negan says. But really, there was only one way it could all go. . . from bad to worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter took a minute, grew from 5 pages to 11 over the course of proofreading, but I certainly hope that everyone enjoys it.   
> Disclaimer: This chapter involves a modified version of a scene from season 7, episode 3. That means I watched that scene over and over and over again to try to get everything just right!

“My love is deeper than the holler, stronger than the rivers. . . Higher than the pine trees growin’ tall upon the hill. . .” The voice of Randy Travis rolled on in the background, creating the perfect relaxed atmosphere for the couple tangled up together in the bed of the pick-up parked beneath the Georgia sky. Rick smiled behind the kiss, his hands wrapped around the brunette woman beside him, holding her tight in the bed of his truck. Pulling away, he gazed at Lori with a smiling face that caused his blue eyes to sparkle in a way that rivaled the stars shining down on the two of them. Their King’s County High graduation robes lay discarded along with the rest of their clothes at the end of the bed, their naked bodies free to be kissed by the warm pre-summer breeze. They’d left the graduation bonfire early to have their own more private celebration, but the 12 pack of beer that sat beside the battery powered radio behind Rick had as of that moment been left untouched.

What HAD been touched was every inch of his and Lori’s bodies, the woman gazing at him with swollen lips and eyes filled with love for her high school sweetheart. Her long brown locks were a mess that made her look like the sexiest goddess Rick could have ever imagined, and the feeling that her dark eyes sent through him ignited him. It was the look she gave him each time they made love to one another, and one that he was severely addicted to. They’d only gone all the way a few times, but every time left Rick both satisfied and craving more of the woman beside him. For a few moments, Rick smiled at his girlfriend, simply unable to do anything but sit there, gazing at her and imagining what a lucky young man he was as the radio played behind them. 

Lori chuckled suddenly, bringing Rick out of his daze. Quirking a crooked, eye crinkling grin, the grad smiled at the love of his life, “What is it?” She shook her head, that grin still in place on her face, reaching up and stroking his brunette curls. They were always unruly if they ever grew past the roots, and were some of the things that Rick detested the most about himself, especially since he felt people didn’t take him very seriously while the curls were in place on his head. One moment that had cemented that feeling had been when he’d stepped out of the shower after a hard workout with Shane. Shane, who had been flipping through a playboy magazine on his bed, had looked up and laughed as Rick had moved the towel away from where he’d been drying his hair. He had claimed Rick’s long locks looked like a dirty mop, and that had been enough confirmation of Rick’s own preconceived notion to have him keep it closely cut to his head from then on out. 

That had been about a year and a half ago, six months after Lori and Rick had become official. Lori hadn’t liked the change, having been a fan of being able to card her fingers through Rick’s longer locks, and so to humor her he had let them grow out again for graduation. After all, the next day he would be going to. . . “I’m just savorin’ this moment, Rick. The peacefulness, the crickets chirpin’, the music playin’. . . that goofy smile you’re givin’ me,” Lori murmured, smiling lazily at him before rolling over onto her back and turning her head so that her brown eyes were still on Rick as she arched her spine, stretching and simultaneously causing her breasts to lift up into the night, two deliciously gorgeous mounds standing peaked against the warm spring air, “After all,” she sighed, resting back on the blanket, a pout making its way across her plump lips as a look of longing entered her eyes, “Tomorrow. . .” 

Rick sighed and hung his head as he gazed at the threads of the blanket beneath them, “Lori, we talked about this. If I wanna get the head start I need then I need to head to the GPSTC Police Academy in Forsyth tomorrow. Shane’s goin’ with me, and you have plenty of people here to hang out with this summer. Not to mention, you gotta get ready for college, Miss School Teacher.” “I know there’ll be plenty of people, but not a single one of ‘em is the one I wanna hang out with,” Lori pointed out. Rick sighed, locking his crystal blue eyes with his girlfriend’s dark brown pupils, “Lori, we talked about this,” he repeated calmly. Sometimes it seemed like they were on the same wavelength, but sometimes it felt like her stubbornness would just not let him appease her. Still, he repeated what he’d tried telling her a million times already, “Babe, the sooner I leave the sooner I get back.” “And what if your feelings for me change over that time? What if you come back and it’s not the way it was before?” Lori whispered, a hint of worry and concern in her tone, “What if you’ll be changed? What if I’m different?”  

Rick chuckled, “How long do you think I’ll be gone babe?” leaning in, he tilted her chin up and pressed his warm lips to hers before pulling away, gazing into her concerned eyes with as much love as his own could convey. “The only thing that will change about me is that I’ll get leaner, more muscular. Honestly, I can’t see how THAT is a bad thing. Can you?” Lori smiled weakly, eyes still full of unspoken concerns, and shook her head, reaching up and stroking Rick’s cheek with her palm. He smiled and turning, pressed his lips to her hand before turning back to her, “And as much as I’m gonna miss my beautiful, sexy girlfriend, it’ll only make comin’ back home all that much sweeter. And you’ll only keep gettin’ more beautiful to me anyway, sweetheart.” Lori smiled a little wider at that, two hot tears racing down her cheeks, the origins of which Rick wasn’t 100% sure about. Were they happy tears, relieved tears, sad tears? Or were they a combination any one of the three?

Leaning down towards her, he kissed them away all the same before pulling back and grinning at her, “Now, how about you have one of these beers over here?” rolling over he grabbed one out of the cooler they were chilling in, “Just ‘cause I can’t have any alcohol doesn’t mean you can’t. . .” “Actually, Rick, I can’t either. . .” Lori whispered suddenly. Rick’s eyes widened and he dropped the beer. As it smashed against the blanket and began to soak into the material, Rick turned, staring at her, a whirlwind of emotions beginning within himself as he processed what she had just said. She smiled weakly and rested her hand on her stomach, “Are. . . are you mad?” she whispered shakily.

 

“Mad?” Rick whispered, before grinning and rolling on top of her, gazing down at her with the biggest grin on his face before lunging down and kissing her firmly on the lips prior to pulling back up, “I’m ecstatic! This is great news! I-I’ll get you a ring, as soon as I can! And then, then we will get married! As soon as I get back!” She smiled up at him, tears of happiness streaking down her cheeks. He WAS SURE that was the cause for these! “ Y-you mean it?” she murmured. Rick grinned at her and lunging down again, kissed her firmly once more before dotting her neck with kisses, love bites, and hickies, “Do I mean it? Hell, of course I do! This is great news! We’ll be a family, Lori. And there ain’t nobody I would rather have one with! Me, you, and our baby!” “If only it was yours. . .” a gravelly but masculine voice that made Rick’s skin prickle sounded suddenly behind him. Whipping around, he stared at the Walker now standing at the other end of the truck bed, Shane’s glazed over eyes not holding the confusion/hunger that most Walkers’ eyes did. Rather, they held a dark intent as he stood at the end of the blanket, staring at them with a gun pointed right at Rick.

Rick grit his teeth, narrowing his eyes before growling out, “Carl’s mine, Shane.” Shane smirked, tilting his head back, the dried blood on his chest gleaming in the moonlight, “Now how can you be so sure Rick? I mean, after you learned Lori switched over to me when all hell broke loose, didn’t you fucking wonder?” he took a firm step forward and fired a shot. Rick roared in pain as the bullet tore through his calf, but Walker Shane ignored it and  walked closer, “I mean we all ran together, didn’t we, Ricky boy? What if you weren’t Lori’s first like you thought? What if I plowed into her pussy long before your prick even thought about it?” Rick growled, his hand on his leg, glaring at Shane, “Shut the hell up Shane. That’s fucking bull shit and you goddamn know it.  Lori wouldn’t have done that to me, she wouldn’t ha. . .” Turning to Lori, he started, jumping back as she too now had a Walker-style face, her cheek hollowed out as she gazed up at him with sad eyes, empty of the soul that had ignited his being just moments before. 

“Oh god, Lori!” he gasped, scrambling up before a firm hand caught him by the back of his neck. Panicking, he was about to twist out of the grip, believing it to be Walker Shane’s, before the hand clenched around him and he registered the leather covering the other man’s grip before he was slammed face first into Lori’s gaping stomach. The smell of death and blood flooded his senses and Rick began to panic as Negan’s voice cut through the void, “Course she would have, Rick. After all, you were never meant to FUCK. You were meant to BE FUCKED.” Just as the man’s dick was breaching Rick, some voice, further away and yet still the same, began to call to him, shouting his name over and over and over. Telling him to do something. But how was he supposed to do something? His face was buried in the gaping stomach of his undead wife. How was he supposed to even move? How was he- the ice cold water struck Rick across the face, wrenching him from the dream turned nightmare with a jolt.

Rick’s head was pounding as cold water splashed across his face  again. Coughing and sputtering, he jerked his head away from the water, bringing his uninjured hand up to wipe the water and blood out of his eyes.“Wake the fuck up you prick,” Negan growled from above, his boot nudging Rick’s injured side before moving to tap impatiently against the blood red carpet. Rick groaned, curling up slightly before moving his hand down to steady himself as he rolled onto his knees and looked up, blinking reality back into focus. His head was pounding and he felt like his head had been split down the middle. In that moment, he longed to return to his nightmare, if only to escape the monstrous reality he’d been forced back into. There was a saltiness on his tongue along with the coppery taste of blood, and he remembered Negan cumming on his face. He shuddered.

Suddenly there was a jerk on his collar, ripping him out of his self-inspection.  Rick yelped and lifted his numb fingers up to feel the latch of the chain leash now attached to his collar’s ring before his sorrowful blue eyes darted up to Negan. The man stood, now fully clothed and composed, over him, his cock tucked safely back into his pants. The only thing that let Rick know that what just happened really happened was the pain his back side was in and the cum on his tongue, face, neck, and chest. It stung at his eyes and he reached up to wipe it off with his uninjured arm. “Get up you shit, we don’t have much time thanks to your pussy ass fainting spell,” Negan snarled, jerking again on the short chain that was attached to Rick’s collar. 

Rick gagged, gazing with trembling, bloodshot blue eyes at the carpet before gritting his teeth and slowly forcing his body to rise up into a crawling position, remembering Negan’s order for him to only crawl. This earned a chuckle from the man and a pat from Lucille on Rick’s rump that might have been intended to be comforting but only caused him to tense in anticipated pain, “Good boy, learning your lesson from before. But we gotta get to your fucking redneck piece of shit friend, and I ain’t got fucking time to have you crawling around behind me. So get the fuck on your feet for once you sorry shit. Savor it, cuz you might not be allowed to do it again any time soon.” “Y-yes sir,” Rick forced out through his lips, slowly rising as Negan walked over to stand in front of him, trying his best to stay off of his angry, pulsing ankle.

Instantly the man grabbed Rick’s face with the bare hand holding the handle to his leash, and Rick jumped slightly at the sudden movement as his head was jerked up, Negan’s hand firm on his jaw as the man’s obsidian eyes bore into his own, a deep frown set on the Leader’s face, “Now here’s how this is about to go, you fucking prick. I am about to do most of the talkin’, so that should make it goddamn easier for your sorry ass. What you are going to do is fucking agree with me when I need you too, and when you get the chance, try to fucking persuade that dumbass dog of yours to accept his new master. And you better goddamn try your fucking hardest, because if I don’t get what I goddamn want then you and Daryl are going to fucking regret it. Understand?” Rick nodded, tears beading in his eyes at the pain in his jaw, “Y-yes sir.” Negan smiled and his eyes darted up and down Rick, taking in his bloody, broken form, “Good. Now you better fucking keep up.” turning around quickly, making Rick dodge Lucille as she swung through the air behind the black haired man, he set a quick pace that Rick had to stumble and stagger to keep up with.

After almost falling into the Leader going  down the stairs, the back of his neck getting scratched by the prong collar as Negan moved quickly to the first story of the house, Rick breathed a sharp sigh of relief as his bare feet touched the floor of the main story. But he had little time to relax as Negan set about at an even faster pace past the room with his wives in it, yanking Rick along as he whistled and strutted his stuff. Rick panted, slamming against the walls as he lost his balance in following the mad man, catching a glimpse of the women in the room as he passed, legs flailing as he fought to catch himself. He didn’t think Negan would stop for him if he fell, after all. As Negan opened the door before him, he could see for just a second Sherry, her face full of fear and worry as she looked at what her “husband” had done to Rick. He didn’t blame her for her reaction. He couldn’t imagine how he looked but he was sure he didn’t look particularly good. She stood there with her drink, looking at him a lot longer than the other wives who glanced at him then looked away, drinking whatever drinks they’d made and eating whatever food had been provided. Suddenly he was yanked out the door by Negan, struggling to quickly close it as he went through it. 

The rocks and dirt dug into Rick’s feet and toes as he stumbled behind the Leader as they made their way under the blazing sun to the main compound, the sounds of the shouts of men and the groans of hungry Walkers reaching his ears as his eyes fought to adjust to the bright, glaring sunlight. Shortly, they approached the warehouse style buildings of the place. Was this where he’d been kept when Carson had cared for him? He imagined so. A hospital wing, makeshift as it may be, would seem out of place in Negan’s cookie cutter home of lies. 

Rick found he both loved being outside and that he felt saddened by the experience. He sought to breathe in fresh air, but his nose was still busted and any intake or release was filled with pain. Multiple times he almost fell forward as they approached the large concrete  set of buildings and he wondered how in the hell he was able to keep standing. That was the moment when the man in front of him came to a sudden stop. Rick grunted and staggered, falling to his knees in the dirt to avoid hitting Negan, the pain of the cement beneath him now filling him in addition to the plentitude of pain he already felt. Rick shuddered, gazing at the ground and silently thanking whatever god there was that he’d been able to stop short of hitting the sadist. He only was able to do that for a second before Negan reached back, grabbed Rick’s bangs, and jerked his head back, making Rick gasp in pain before focusing on the chain link fence and gate before him, and what lay beyond them.

It looked like they were near the back of the factory-style building closest to them. There was what appeared to be a smaller building that had been built in front of where they stood in between two larger buildings, blocking the majority of  what appeared to be a small alley made by two sides of the two bigger gray structures from view. From what Rick could tell from his spot on the ground, the alley held multiple motorcycles. He could see Daryl’s old bike amongst them, and from what he could see in the center of the alley was Daryl, in a dirty sweatshirt and some equally dirty sweatpants, surrounded by Negan’s men with Fat Joseph having a gun trained on him. From the distance, it didn’t look like Daryl had been through much, aside from what had happened to him before he and Rick had been separated upon arrival at the compound. 

He was barefoot and his hair was greasy, but he certainly looked better off than Rick. “Here we fucking go,” Negan murmured, and Rick winced at the smugness in his tone. After a yank on his bangs that made him groan, Rick staggered to stand upright, bowed his head, and followed Negan through the gate in the fence, around the smaller building, and towards the circle of the men, Negan whistling happily as he broke through the circle and turned to stand in front of Daryl, Rick being twisted by the leash to stand right behind Negan’s left side, wincing as he was forced to put some weight on his injured ankle. Sucking in a deep breath, he was only able to bring himself to glance up at Daryl, shame and guilt written all over his features as his blue eyes felt tears enter them anew as he gazed over the sadist’s black leather shoulder at his friend.

He had been dreading doing Negan’s bidding regarding persuading Daryl, but standing there, just feet from his best friend who had become like a brother to him, in the condition he was in with Daryl’s eyes full of concern towards him and hatred towards the man standing in front of him. . . it threatened to make Rick break down and weep right there. Negan chuckled, a soft “Ah” coming from his mouth before turning and smirking with devilish eyes at Rick, knowing the turmoil that raged within the brunette behind him and the unexpected pain this meeting was about to cause, “Are we PISSING our pants yet?”

Rick felt his heart hammering in his chest as the man’s dark eye chilled him to his core, daring him to defy him by acting against Negan’s previous instructions, “Now, it’s been a minute since you two sad fucks saw each other, and clearly quite a bit of shit has happened. So perhaps introductions are in goddamn order. . . Daryl, is it?” he glanced at Daryl for a moment, then looked back at Rick, “You know my PET here, I’m su-” “Rick,” Daryl rasped out. Making Negan turn back to Daryl and causing Rick’s jaws to grit together as his heart dropped to his stomach. If he had thought Daryl would do what was needed to make this interaction easier, that thought was dashed immediately.

“What?” Negan hissed in a surprisingly calm tone, taking a firm step forward. That tone and his movements were more terrifying than his growl, Rick felt. “His name is Rick, you narcissistic son of a bitch,” Daryl growled, glaring at Negan, “And I’m gonna beat your fucking face in for what you’ve goddamn done to him.” At that he lunged forward, and Rick felt his heart seize up and his mouth open in a plea that never came as the gunshot went off and Negan took a step back as Daryl landed, panting and growling, on the ground, the bullet having torn into his right shoulder just as that arm had lifted to grab the Savior Leader. 

Negan chuckled down at the man on the ground, eyes alight with an inner fire, “WELL LOOK. AT. YOU!” His boot connected hard with Daryl’s jaw, making the redneck roar in pain before landing on his back. Seconds later, that boot came down hard on Daryl’s chest as Rick was jerked forward with Negan’s firm step, knocking the wind out of the sweatshirted man. Rick felt for Daryl as he wheezed, his head slamming into the concrete and beginning to bleed. He knew that pain, but at least Daryl wasn’t passing out. He didn’t want to think of what Negan would do if he did that. . . “SO MUCH FUCKING SPIRIT. . . DEFINITELY GOT MORE GUTS THAN YOUR PISS POOR LEADER HAS SHOWN. . .UNFORTUNATELY, THE REDNECK PIECE OF SHIT DOESN’T SEEM TO HAVE A LOT OF SMARTS UP AT HIS GODDAMN TOP STORY TO GO WITH IT, DOES HE BOYS?!” Negan shouted, and pressed the tip of Lucille against Daryl’s head. With that he began to twist her around, making the man on the ground roar and arch against the cement as pain entered his forehead and blood began to streak down the sides of his face. The men laughed, and Negan pulled Lucille back to bring her down against Daryl’s head. Rick whimpered as the hit made contact, not hard enough to knock him out but enough to cause blood to pour and for him to have his head spin a little. 

Taking a step back, Negan forced Rick to take a step back as well, onto his injured ankle, to avoid bumping into the Leader. Negan seemed to take no notice, motioning for two of his men to haul the prone man on the ground to his feet. “So let’s give him a fucking crash course. Help make him goddamn think a bit better while he’s here. . .”Once Rick had steadied himself, Daryl’s chin was forced up by the man on his right so that the prisoner, blood streaming down his chin from a bitten tongue, was forced to look at the monster who stood between them, blood pouring from his shoulder. Negan let silence hang in the air for a moment, the sounds of the compound, Rick’s labored breathing, and Daryl’s seething being the only things one could hear. It was then that Rick saw Lucille swinging, and he winced, assuming she was coming at him or Daryl. Instead, she pointed at Fat Joseph as Negan said in a calm tone, “Who are you?” Fat Joseph took one step forward, eyes frowning as he glared at Daryl, “Negan.”

Swinging her around in front of him, Negan pointed the bat at the man on Daryl’s right, “Whoooo arrrrrre. . . you?” The man smirked, eyes glinting dangerously, “Negan.” Negan smirked and swung her out to his side, holding her limply there as he tilted his knees forward and bent his head back, chuckling, “Who are you?” he asked the group of men, who all answered in a chorus of “Negan”s. Chuckling, the Savior Leader took a firm step forward, twirling Lucille in a circle pointing to the sky, smirking at Daryl, “Ya see that? I am EVERYWHERE,” he remarked, and Rick felt a chill settle within himself at the confidence in the man’s voice as he spoke about the force of nature he had proven to be. Negan was unstoppable, dangerous, and deadly. That much had been made clear to the naked man. And it was terrifying, the fact that Negan knew he was that powerful.

He was pulled out of his thoughts as Negan continued, “And this was your shot to prove to me that that fundamental fact was sinking in, and you FAILED. Which sucks because your life was about to get SO MUCH COOLER!” he laughed and prodded Daryl’s bullet wound with the tip of Lucille, and Rick winced as Daryl staggered from the pain. Negan wasn’t paying much attention to the two prisoners’ reactions though and turned to Fat Joseph, smirking, “Am I right?” Rick glanced over, seeing the fat man shake his head, a smile like one would give to a child that wasn’t learning its lesson spreading on his face, a sharp contrast to the fear he’d seen in the obese man’s eyes before, “Damn right.” Fat Joseph murmured. 

He was pulled back to what Negan was doing as Negan took a step forward, forcing Rick to lean forward slightly as he did so. With that, Negan started to jab Lucille’s tip down against the concrete, forcing Daryl to grunt and try to move his feet away from her. Rick grit his teeth. The man was clearly playing with Daryl, making him move the way he wanted. Like the cat that had trapped the mouse but wasn’t quite ready to tuck in yet. Rick breathed hard through his teeth, knowing Negan was getting a sick pleasure from pushing his friend around. As Daryl’s eyes darted to Rick and held his gaze, there was only contempt in the other man’s gaze, a fire that Rick both admired and feared. 

If he saw it he was sure Negan did, and that would only egg him on to further harm either Rick or his friend. As Rick had predicted, Negan unfortunately did notice Daryl’s eyes move to Rick, and as the man turned and grinned wider at Rick, malice once again dancing in his obsidian gaze, the silent message was sent: if Rick wanted to do what he needed to do and save the both of them from future pain, he was about to have to work A LOT harder to convince his friend to play along with Negan than the Savior Leader had believed he would have to. And Negan was going to LOVE to see Rick do just that.

Turning back to Daryl, Negan chuckled, rubbing his temple before lowering his hand and waving at the prisoner nonchalantly, “Now Dwight gave you some options. But I don’t think you get it yet. So I’m gonna break it down for ya. . .” Turning he walked over to stand beside Rick and put his elbow, which was attached to his hand which still held the leash, up and onto Rick’s injured shoulder. Rick gasped as the leather covered elbow dug into the damaged limb joint, sparks of pain and numbness flying through him to the point where he very nearly passed out. Through blurry, tear filled eyes, he watched as Lucille swung around pointing towards the way opposite the one they had come as Negan’s calm, dark voice continued, “One, you wind up on the spike, and you work for me as a dead man. . . Two. . .” turning on his heel, he marched behind Rick, coiling the leash that was still on his hand  before jerking back hard on it, making Rick squint his eyes tightly and whimper through gritted teeth as the prongs were forced hard against his throat again. 

Through pain filled eyes, he saw Daryl begin to move forward, just as the man on Daryl’s right took a step forward and gripped the man’s dirty sweatshirt in one hand, holding him still. “You get out of your cell, you work for points, but you’re gonna wish you were dead,” Negan continued in a jovial tone, “Or three. . .” moving over, easing up on Rick for a moment as he moved to stand between Fat Joseph and the man that had been standing beside him to Fat Joseph’s left, the mad man swung his arms around the two, his firm hands patting the men on the chests in spite of the fact that they still held Lucille and Rick’s leash, making Rick lean closer to avoid choking again. “You work for me! You get yourself a brand new pair of shoes and you live like a KING!” Negan paused and looked between Rick and the other men, dark eyes dancing, “Choice seems. . . pretty obvious. . . you should know, there is no door number fucking four. . .” Turning, he walked back over to stand in front of Rick again, “This is it. This is the ONLY way,” he murmured, tilting back and giving a small yank on Rick’s chain for added emphasis.

Rick gulped, glancing at the cold eyes of the man as they cut a quick look back at him, immediately understanding the yank to be his cue. Moving forward slowly in favor of his ankle, he whispered a hoarse, “D-d-daryl.” He winced at how weak and hoarse his voice sounded, and he didn’t miss the fact that most of the men chuckled at it. But Daryl’s eyes darted to him and to Rick, that’s all that mattered.

He didn’t want Daryl to join Negan, didn’t want to give his torturer what he wanted, but that cold look told him what hid beneath the man’s jovial surface: if he didn’t try, then things would end up worse for him and the man with the bleeding shoulder in front of him. And Negan’s words only served to remind him of Benny. There was an option other than being a prisoner and working for Negan as one of his right hand men. Negan could simply decide to dispatch Daryl completely, and Rick could very well be forced to see his friend end up on the spikes outside, gnawing hungrily at the world as a mindless corpse. That threat had been directed at Rick as much as it had been at Daryl, and he knew Negan would most likely make him watch as he killed Daryl and watch as Daryl was put outside the compound as some fucked up version of a guard dog. That thought alone made his blood run cold.

“P-please,” he whispered through shaking lips, trying to exude as much confidence and conviction in his eyes as possible. Trying to wordlessly let Daryl know that even if he didn’t want to join Negan, even if Rick didn’t want Daryl to, that right now that was the best option, for both of them. “Please take the third option, Daryl,” Rick whispered. Immediately he saw rebellion flare up in the man’s eyes. Taking a chance, Rick took another step forward, to where he was almost closer to Daryl than Negan even was, tears beading up in his eyes as he gazed at his friend, racing hot down his cheeks in a way that made the guards guffaw. 

He heard Negan tap his foot behind him, as if to say that he was getting close to his time being up. It made his heart pound and his inner panic rise, and he reached out with a shaking hand, unfortunately his broken one due to the condition of his injured shoulder. Slowly, taking the chance of Lucille crashing down on him from behind, Rick placed the hand on Daryl’s own shoulder, leaning closer to him so that that moment was as much of them talking amongst themselves as he could manage. He couldn’t deny the awkwardness that swirled in his gut and passed through him. Daryl at least had sweatpants and a sweatshirt on to hide his bruises and cuts, after all. Rick was out in the open, completely vulnerable. In a way, he wished Negan would have afforded him clothing for this. That might have helped his case a little. . . but then, pets didn’t get clothes in the man’s mind. 

“Daryl, I kn-n-n-now how hard a decision this is for you,” Rick whispered, his desperation dripping from his voice, his shaky blue eyes locked on Daryl’s own dark ones, “But it would be the best thing. F-f-for all of us. . .” Daryl looked over Rick, skepticism written all over his face before leaning closer, so that his hot, stale breath hit Rick’s own lips. Rick shuddered, already knowing what Daryl was going to say, “Would it? What the HELL would it do for me? For YOU?” Rick gave a shuddering breath at Daryl’s defiant words, just as Negan’s hand landed on his injured shoulder, gripping it firmly in a way that made spots dance across his vision as explosions of pain raced through his brain.

It felt as if he passed out for a moment as he quickly fell to his knees, the skin over the two joints busting open as his crimson blood began to spill on the concrete as he cried out, sliding to his side on the ground and panting as his head lay against the concrete, seeming to vibrate with aftershock as he recovered from the strike of hitting the stony surface beneath himself. Through locks of sweaty, bloody hair, he panted, seeing Daryl lunge to try to help him as the man who had grabbed him before snatched him back at the same time, hand digging into his bullet wound. Daryl roared as he was wrenched back, falling to his own knees on the pavement as Negan moved forward. 

As Rick’s ears slowly stopped ringing, the sadist could be heard talking, telling the man to back away and for Daryl to get up, the threat of what would happen if he made for Rick looming in the man’s tone. Rick choked out a weak sob, shuddering against the hot pavement as he watched the two men, Daryl slowly getting up to look at Negan and Negan staring the captive down. Daryl had one leg drawn back, as if he was trying to move away from Negan but didn’t want to leave Rick. Negan was in the exact opposite position, one foot firmly in front of the other. The hand that still held Rick’s leash was firm to the point of the knuckles gleaming white in a sign of ownership, and Rick swore he saw the other hand clench tighter around Lucille. 

“Ya hear that?” Negan murmured in a dark, calm voice, the one that sent a chill down Rick’s spine. It terrified him that so much power, so much rage could drip from a voice that sounded like it was inviting someone over for a meal. Especially since he knew what that rage and power were capable of. The pain from those lessons vibrated through his entire being, threatening to swallow him whole. “Your old boy Ricky here has seen the light, now why can’t you?” Negan slurred calmly, “He wants you take me up on my offer, hell he’s practically fucking begging you too! Aren’t you, Ricky boy?” 

Rick shuddered, eyes gazing at Negan as the man turned his head, glancing at him. He grit his teeth against the pain that seemed to be flooding his entire being. He didn’t even know where the pain originated from at this point. From his head, from his shoulder, from his back, from his knees, from his hand, from his now perhaps broken ankle. It was a flood of pain that was almost suffocating. And yet he knew that he was required to answer Negan verbally, even if the simple act of moving his jaws and tongue was a strain, especially given the tight hold of the collar around his throat, threatening to choke him and silence him. Forcing his jaws to move, trying to ignore the new dull throb of pain that that caused, he answered, “Y-yes sir. I-I-I am.” 

Negan nodded before turning to Daryl, who was still staring the man down. Rick blinked away the tears as Negan continued, the man still on the ground getting a clearer visual of Daryl’s face. He could see conflict in it, and prayed that Daryl would decide to join Negan. For both of their sakes. Finally there was that look. It was a look of rage and pity, of stubborness and indecision, and it gave Rick hope. Maybe this would go Negan’s way after all. Perhaps Daryl would make a decision that would make things easier for Rick. Then again, he had no idea how Negan would act, with Daryl being a right hand man. He was sure that he’d be forced to watch as Negan abused Rick, just because the man seemed to be a sick enough bastard to do that. Rick shuddered at the thought of Daryl seeing the sorts of things Negan had done to Rick already. But he was sure that things would be far worse if Daryl denied the man, and so Rick would take Daryl agreeing with Negan over the alternative at that moment. So he held out hope for Daryl to see the reasoning Rick now understood regarding their situation. 

“See? Now why don’t you do your former leader a solid and join me? Probably would be the damn brightest part of his sorry-ass day!” Negan said brightly. Rick nodded as Daryl’s eyes flickered to Negan then to him, the smallest of nods but one that he knew Daryl saw. He watched as his friend’s eyes flickered to each person around him, before glancing at Rick one more time and turning to Negan, a decision clearly made in them. Rick felt hope fill his heart, only to be drowned out in fear as Daryl spat rather than speak, the spittle landing on Negan’s cheek. In that instant, his action spoke louder than all the words in the world. It seemed like everything in that moment froze, as Negan’s entire body tensed up and Rick’s eyes widened, his heart seeming to stop as he held his breath. Even the other men seemed to be too in shock to know what to do as Daryl took a firm step forward, his bare right foot’s big toe just inches from Negan’s boots. 

Negan was the first to move, turning his head so that his face was facing Rick. His expression was emotionless as he dropped Rick’s leash momentarily, wiping the spit off with one hand slowly, as if still processing what had just happened. Then his dark eyes opened up wider and Rick felt his blood run cold and his eyes widen at the rage, the offense, the anger within Negan’s obsidian gaze. A dark smile crossed the man’s face, cruelty taking over his features, “Screw it.” Turning he gripped Lucille in both hands and the bat came around in a swing, and Rick could tell by the way Negan’s entire body twisted, by the way he put all of his weight into the swing, that this was no swing like those Rick had gotten. This was a finishing one. 

Rick cried out, a weak cry that while wordless held every plea for mercy, every notion for Negan to stop what Rick was certain he was about to do within it. But Daryl didn’t even wince, and just as the bat was coming around to his head. . . Negan stopped.

Rick panted, his eyes wide as he stared at the man, not knowing what the hell had just happened. He had been sure that they were about to all be splattered by Daryl’s brains. Negan suddenly chuckled, “Wow!” he said, taking a step back, “You. Don’t. Scare. Easy. . .” he said, as if slowly processing what he was seeing, slowly bringing Lucille down to rest at his side, “I LOVE THAT.” Rick licked his lips nervously, watching as the man backed off of Daryl. He didn’t let himself fully rest in the hope that Negan wasn’t going to harm Daryl, and found himself thinking that that slight apprehension was rightfully felt as Negan brought the dreaded bat back up to rest in his free palm as he took a step back, “But Lucille here, she finds it to be disrespectful. . .” Rick felt his whole body tense once more as Negan took a step forward, patting her barbs against his skin. This was it, he knew it. A false sense of hope and then.  . . “Lucky for you, she’s not feelin’ too thirsty today.” Negan murmured, “But I am.”

That one phrase alone set all of Rick’s inner alarm bells off as he saw Negan turn, glancing at him with that dark, malicious smile on his face. His eyes widened and he curled up, as if trying to press himself into the pavement and out of the situation. In that moment he understood. Negan wasn’t about to kill Daryl, he was saying that he was about to follow through with the promise he’d made Rick, that things were about to get way worse now that Rick hadn’t been able to convince Daryl to join him. And although Rick hadn’t had much of a chance to begin with, he knew Negan wouldn’t see it that way. He never would. 

Turning, Negan walked towards Rick’s face as the men held Daryl back, the man jerking in their grips as Negan knelt before Rick, the smirk on his face and the look in his eyes letting Rick know that even though he had tried to convince Daryl, he had still failed miserably, and his consequences would be severe. Rick grit his teeth, tears beading up in his eyes as the man leaned forward, chuckling as he gripped the ring of the prong collar, not the leash, and curled his wrist, choking Rick with the device, making Rick move his neck and head forward just to keep from having the prongs cut too deep. “So I’m gonna go GET ME A DRINK!” Negan laughed, before turning and wrenching Rick up. Rick cried out as the prongs dug deeper into him and he was guided to stand upright.

He tried to stand, he really did, but once he tried to put his weight on his broken ankle, that was it. His world blacked out again with that additional source of pain and he collapsed hard on the ground, Negan’s dark laughter and Daryl’s cry of protest all that he could hear before unconsciousness claimed him once again. Luckily this time there were no dreams of Lori and Shane and the doubts he’d formed over the years of the apocalypse. There wasn’t even a single thought or fear about what was about to happen. The darkness was an empty void that held out its arms to Rick’s tired, aching soul. And he gladly accepted its as he was dragged away, the pain in his throat a tiny spark in the abyss that claimed him, Negan’s whistling and Daryl’s scuffling fading into the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, what did you guys think? I plan to start on the next chapter soon, hoping to have it posted in the next week or so. I can already tell everyone: it is going to be hot and heavy with a sick Negan twist, like I have not shown before in this story. ;) Stay tuned, and I would love to hear what you guys think of this chapter!


	15. Sweet Release. . .

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick wakes up expecting a punishment, but instead of waking up to a scene before him, he awakens to darkness. Instead of punishment, he receives something he'd never expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I can't guarantee that every chapter post will be as quick as this one, but you know, when it flows it flows, and this one flowed so fucking beautifully I couldn't help but post it with a grin on my face! Definitely a different take on Negan and I hope that it satisfies all of you readers! Thank you for all of the encouragement! Enjoy! -devil smirk-

Rick came out of one darkness into another, one that was currently pressing its fabric against his open eyes. Rick breathed hard in and out of his nose, trying to ignore the small spark of pain that that caused. . . it was then that he realized that that was the only pain he really felt and it seemed to fade away quicker than expected. 

As he pondered his lack of pain, he thought he heard some sort of footfalls, but when he turned his head, which felt far too heavy, to the location he thought they were coming from, they stopped. It seemed all of his senses had disappeared, except for perhaps his sense of touch. That took in the feeling of fabric pressing up against him from below, not like that of a floor but like that of a bed. It could feel the pillow beneath his head, pressing up against it in a comforting way that hadn’t been shown to him the entire time he’d been here. It could also feel the soft ropes tight around his wrists, forcing his arms above his head, and the identical ropes tight around his ankles, the two sets effectively holding him spread eagled on the bed structure beneath him. It left him exposed, defenseless, and the blindfold over his face didn’t serve to alleviate his fears. 

He felt his heart start to pound as he tugged at his restraints, his breath coming quickly, the only sound he could sense in the quiet void. All he could remember was passing out as Negan was dragging him away from Daryl and the others. What had happened between then and now? How much time had passed? What was going on? Where was he? Was anyone with him? Was he alone? The frustration of not knowing caused tears to prick at his eyes and race down from beneath the blindfold. He’d been defenseless and at Negan’s mercy the entire time he’d been here. But at least before now he’d been able to move a little, had been able to at least see what was going on around him. Now, he was just someone tied to a bed. Hell, all the Saviors could be watching him. He could be in the middle of a huge room, tied to a bed as others guffawed. Yes, that was as much of a possibility as the one in which he could be just tied to a bed in a silent, empty room, maybe as a part of one of Negan’s mind games. 

The thoughts and possibilities of what was going on around him and the frustration of not knowing finally came to a head as he choked out a weak sob, deciding to try to call out, to interact with something in the soundless void around him, “Is . . . Is there anyone h-h-h-here? P-p-please. . . if y-y-y-you’re here, p-p-please answer m-m-me,” Rick whimpered. Silence was his only answer for a moment, before just the barest tips of calloused fingers touched his jaw, just barely touching him as the nails danced over his skin. Rick arched his back, leaning his head into the hand, pressing his the top part of his head against the pillow as the figure above him leaned down, his hot scotch scented breath hitting Rick’s lips and nose. “N-negan,” Rick stuttered, surprising even himself as the thought was made vocal in his current state. He didn’t mean for the name to come out. He wondered if he would get punished, for calling Negan by his name and not “Master” or “Sir”, and it made him shake. After all, what could he do to stop Negan? And how would he even be able to predict what the man was going to do next without seeing him? Now was definitely not the time to piss the Savior Leader off, but before he could work up an apology the other man’s warm lips pressed against his own, forcing a kiss upon Rick, his tongue darting into the surprised former Sheriff’s mouth and plundering his caverns.

Rick tensed behind the kiss, wanting to pull away instinctively. But the killer held his head firmly by the jaw, his fingers digging in warningly as his teeth bit Rick’s lip in response to the offending movement. Rick whimpered at the slight pain that caused, even when it was quickly wiped away by whatever had caused all of his other pain to leave him. Still, sucking in a deep breath through his busted nose he did do his best to obey the silent order and relax against the man’s assault, twisting his good hand around and gripping the rope holding it firmly instead. With a satisfied hum, the Leader moved his teeth off of Rick’s lip and his tongue once again slid over Rick’s own, dominating the man’s mouth as his hand traveled down the man’s jaw and over the place where the prongs had dug into him on his neck.

Rick winced slightly, the rawness of the area not causing the movement to produce pain perse but definitely causing the movement to provide some form of irritation. Negan’s gloved hand pressed against Rick’s forehead, holding it down surprisingly gently over his damaged stitches before the man finally pulled back just as Rick felt he might start struggling to breathe. The minute Negan’s mouth left his, Rick panted hard, sucking in deep breath after deep breath as Negan got a firmer grip on his throat, though not the point of choking Rick, his thumbnail rubbing over the prong marks, “I think it’s safe to say you didn’t convince your buddy out there, wouldn’t you agree?” the man muttered, a serious, disappointed tone etched into his voice. Rick tensed immediately, “I-I tried. I did m-m-m-my best, M-Master.” 

He was expecting a retort, but instead Negan’s hot, scotch scented breath hit his lips in a sigh before the man seemed to concede with him, “I know you did. You opened your mouth and begged as much as you could with that little throat of yours, didn’t you? You sang your song, but he just refused to listen, now didn’t he?” Rick gave a weak whimper as the thumb pressed down on his Adam’s Apple, gulping hard, “Y-y-yes sir.” “It’s a shame. Because his life REALLY could have been SO MUCH cooler. . .” Negan muttered, moving his hand down and over Rick’s chest, fingers raking over Rick’s body, Rick shivering as the nails scratched over his skin. It didn’t cause any real pain, but he knew that Negan could go from 0 to 100 (usually feeling like 0 to 1,000) in an instant. And honestly, he was so used to receiving only pain from the sadist that he didn’t know where this tenderness was coming from, or what it could lead to. Why was Negan being so nice to him? The confusion he felt surrounding the matter set him even more on edge.“P-please, wh-why. . .” Rick whispered, realizing that he didn’t just have that question to ask. Rather, he had many. Why was Negan doing this to him? Why couldn’t he see? Why had the man just KISSED him? Hadn’t he said there would be consequences to Rick failing to turn Daryl? Didn’t that mean there would be a punishment, not a reward? Or maybe this was a punishment and Rick just didn’t realize it. . .

“Coulda been one of my main guys, but maybe I didn’t want him. I mean, after all, I overestimated his loyalty to you. . .” Negan continued, ignoring Rick’s open ended question, “I mean why wouldn’t he agree? If it meant saving your sorry ass from more pain. Sure it’s not an easy decision to make for some people. I really didn’t expect it to be one for him. But dammit I thought you could turn him, Ricky Boy, I really did. . . now I gotta figure out what the hell to do with him. . . I could go with the original fucking plan, have you cut off pieces of him. Feed it to some Walker. . . That would serve to punish you and him at the same time. . . I imagine that oaf would fill one’s belly really fucking nice and tight. . .” with that his hand reached down to Rick’s stomach and his fingers dug in, again only enough to cause slight pain. Still it made Rick whimper. He dreaded the very idea of what Negan was suggesting. “P-please, no. . .” he whispered, tears streaking down from behind the blindfold. He didn’t want Daryl here, and didn’t want him to comply with Negan especially. But he certainly didn’t want his friend to end up in some Walker. “G-g-give him another chance, p-p-please!”

“I don’t know Ricky,” Negan remarked, doubt in his voice, “I’m not usually one to give second chances. . . after all, what could happen now to convince him? We already tried letting you talk to him. . .” Rick licked his lips nervously, tasting the blood that was slowly coming out from where Negan had bit his lip, “L-L-Let me talk to him ag-g-g-gain. I-I’ll try harder to convince him. I’ll g-g-get him to see the b-b-benefits of j-j-j-joining you, p-p-please just let me t-t-t-try one m-m-m-more time,” Rick begged, his whole body shaking as tears streaked down his face. Suddenly a rough tongue was on his cheek, and Rick shuddered as it raced up the tear streak on that side, his heart pounding as Negan licked the salty tear and anything else that was on his skin off of him. The hand that had been on Rick’s forehead moved to stroke his hair, “You really will try, won’t you Pet? Ok, I’ll let you. And between us, I know you were really trying earlier. . . you know, perhaps you shouldn’t be punished after all. I mean you’re willing to give it your all to try to turn your loyal moronic dog, aren’t you?” “Y-yes sir,” Rick whispered, hope rising in him at the thought of escaping another punishment. “Yes, perhaps you should be REWARDED,” Negan slurred suddenly, a lecherous tone entering his voice.

Rick’s blood ran cold, his hope plummeting at the man’s words, and the immediate recollection of what had happened the last time he’d been “rewarded” flooded his mind. He shook his head, “N-n-no, no I don’t th-th-think I should be, Master,” he whispered, trying to use the title to appease Negan, to try to appeal to his good nature as the man’s hand began to travel from his hand down to his crotch. “Oh? And why is that, Pet?” Negan murmured, leaning down to breathe on his ear the words, making Rick shiver as the man’s long finger raced down the upper side of Rick’s cock before his fingers started to softly knead Rick’s sensitive head. Rick sucked in a deep breath, his lips shaking as his body tensed. Sure Negan wasn’t doing anything nefarious at the moment, but he knew how quickly that could change. “B-b-b-because I h-h-haven’t turned him yet, Master,” he whispered. Negan chuckled softly, “Oh but you tried, Pet, and even though you didn’t succeed, perhaps I should show you that while I can punish, I can also be QUITE generous. . .” at that his hand moved down below Rick’s cock and squeezed the man’s balls.

Rick sucked in a deep breath as Negan’s fingers started to quickly-yet still not to the point of being painful-massage the sensitive organs, shots of pleasure rushing up his spine with each movement. Suddenly a weight was pressing down on his hips as Negan moved to straddle him on the bed like surface. Feeling the bulge in the man’s erection pressing against his crotch, Rick felt his anxiety level rise. Even though there was pleasure caused by the man’s movements now, he felt no doubt that soon he’d be in nothing but pain, and he tried to move out of the man’s grip. He let out a desperate whimper as Negan’s hand calmly followed him. Leaning down, the man’s gloved hand moved down to rest on Rick’s face gently, his hot breath hitting Rick’s lips, “Calm down Pet and accept your reward. Don’t you want to see how generous I can be?” he said in a mocking tone. 

Leaning down, he pressed his lips firmly against Rick’s own, his tongue once more sliding into Rick’s mouth, dominating his own tongue as it explored. Rick felt more tears streak down and he whimpered gently behind the firm kiss. As Negan moved away, Rick panted, his lips swollen, bloody, and shaking, “I know you can be generous Master,” he lied, as Negan continued to massage and tug gently at his ball sack, “An-n-n-d I ap-p-p-preciate th-th-that. . . B-b-b-but th-th-there’s no need for y-y-y-you to pr-prove it t-t-t-to m-m-m-me. N-n-n-n-no r-r-r-r-reason,” he whispered. “Oh but there is, Pet,” Negan slurred, and his hand moved to grip the base of Rick’s dick firmly, making Rick cry out in surprise, “In fact there is the simplest of reasons why. . . I’m going to reward you, show you how generous I am, not because I need to PROVE it to you, but because I WANT to. Don’t you remember what I’ve been teaching you, silly boy?” he began to pump Rick firmly, up and down, up and down, and Rick grunted, his entire body tensing as the man leaned down and flicked a tongue over Rick’s ear, whispering to him, “I can do whatever I WANT with you. And right now, I WANT to give you your proper REWARD. Now isn’t that reason enough for you to sit back and enjoy it, little Pet?” Rick’s whimper was the only reply.

Negan chuckled as he leaned down and kissed Rick roughly on the lips before leaning back and leaning over, causing his body to shift over the bound man’s own. Rick’s eyes scrunched in confusion behind the blindfold as Negan’s gloved hand temporarily replaced his other before the other was back, this time with a gel substance on it. Rick immediately tensed at the chilly substance when it made contact with his wounded crotch, but as Negan’s other hand moved up to cradle his jaw again and the bare hand began to pump him gently but firmly, the gel started to warm up, the warming lube reacting to the movement and friction as intended. It caused more pleasure to form inside of Rick, and though he didn’t want to he couldn’t deny the pleasure that began to flow up his spine as his cock started to respond to the man’s ministrations, Negan’s hand pumping up and down on his dick as his lips found Rick’s neck, biting and sucking as he marked the man on the bed and stimulated him, forcing unwanted moans out of Rick’s mouth as his neck arched naturally to give Negan better access and his hips began to pump into Negan’s skilled hand. 

Negan chuckled against a particularly sensitive spot, amused by Rick’s reactions, and only chuckled more as the action alone caused Rick to whine, “That’s a good Pet. See how it’s so much better when you don’t fucking think? When you just do what your Master says?” Rick whimpered gently, not wanting to be as aroused as he was by the killer, but unable to deny his peaked nipples and hardening crotch. Kissing him firmly over that spot, Negan slid further down, taking Rick’s right nipple into his mouth as he went, nibbling and sucking hard at it until it was an angry rose bud and Rick was arching into the heat of his mouth. No, he tried to remind himself. It was his body that was arching up against Negan. His mind didn’t want this, not really. It was his body. . . the dissonance started to cause him to soften below, and he panted as his body finally ceased to betray him. 

Negan seemed to not feel the same relief, however, and he leaned back, breathing hard on the nipple, his warm scotch scented breath hitting it and causing Rick to shiver on the bed, his fingers now clenched even tighter around the rope, his ankles tied firmly with his feet wrapping around the ropes there due to the intense situation. “Nervous are we?” Negan tutted, before sliding down further, his tongue leaving a long trail of saliva that made Rick shiver before he was at the prisoner’s crotch. That made Rick tense all the more. Was Negan disappointed? What was he about to do if he was? The possibilities were endless, with each being more terrifying than the one imagined before. Gulping hard, he longed for his cock to be hard again, if only to please the man. “P-please,” he whimpered out, “I’m. . . I’m trying to enjoy it, I am,” a statement that moments before wouldn’t have been nearly as true.

“Of course you are,” Negan purred, his hot breath hitting Rick’s dick. Rick panted his heart hammering in his chest, before Negan’s bare hand slid down to grip the base of the cock tighter, “P-please,” he whimpered, not entirely sure what he was asking for. A part of him was worried that Negan was about to take this reward away from the street of pleasure and down the highway to hell instead. A part of him knew what Negan’s movements could elude to happening next, and was curious as to how it would feel. Another part of him felt he’d have to pay Negan back if that conclusion was the right one, and would rather have Negan just continue jerking Rick off instead. Rick grit his teeth. Did it even matter what he was asking for? Negan was just going to do what he wanted anyway. At that moment his dick was jerked up and a long tongue raced up the underside of it, making Rick cry out and arch into the feeling. 

That earned him a chuckle from the man who was most likely kneeling at his crotch, and the devil’s tongue swirled around his swollen head, dipping into his slit which had already leaked some precum. Pulling away, Negan chuckled more as Rick’s body instinctively bucked hard up towards him, the man on the bed groaning as his cock sought that hot mouth and tongue out, “Tell me what you want,” the man grunted huskily, “ASK me for it.” Rick gulped hard, licking his lips nervously, his hand and feet now getting rope burn in spite of the softness of his restraints. He didn’t want to ask Negan for it. Didn’t want to have to. His body might seek the gentle intimacy the man was displaying, but in his mind this was still the madman who had beaten Abe and Glenn to death. This was the madman who had tortured him since before he had arrived here. He didn’t want this intimacy, didn’t want to ask Negan to suck him off. He didn’t want that kindness. It conflicted far too much with the notions he already felt towards him. All of this was dissonant to what he’d already experienced and it was enough to make him start to get a headache, which for whatever reason was quickly dissipated with by whatever force had taken away all of his other pain. 

Suddenly there was a twist at the base of his cock, and Rick cried out, arching at the pain that the movement caused. “I said, ASK ME, Pet. Tell your Master what you want. Since I am such a GENEROUS man, I MIGHT give it to you, IF you convince me,” Negan slurred, and Rick could see the smile cross the man’s face. That self-satisfied smirk. That self-assured confidence, so much like the kind the man’s face had held that night when he’d stepped up to Rick outside of the RV. Rick deep down didn’t want to ask him, didn’t want to give Negan such satisfaction, but he was more worried about what the man would do to him, to Daryl, to everyone if he didn’t. Swallowing his pride, he tilted his head slightly in the man’s perceived direction, forcing his jaws to move even as he inwardly screamed, “P-P-Please, Master. Please.”

Negan tsked through his teeth, “Tsk tsk tsk Pet. . .” as he did so he moved Rick’s dick back and forth with jerky movements that made Rick groan in the slight pain it caused, gripping the rope around his wrist even tighter and tugging, as if that would help him get away. “I said TELL ME what you want, Pet, and I’m still goddamn waiting. Please, what?” Negan murmured, giving Rick’s flaccid cock a firm yank that made Rick give a weak cry at the pain. Rick licked his lips, letting a sob escape as he gave in fully, “Please, Master. Please pleasure me. Make me hard, Master. Please, help me enjoy my reward.” The words felt sour leaving his lips, but Negan chuckled and leaning forward, kissed Rick’s dick’s tip, making Rick tremble as the man’s stubble scratched against the sensitive organ. 

Leaning back, Negan chuckled, and the breath came out as a gust of wind that made Rick whine, “Well, since you asked so nicely. . .” he let his tongue languidly swipe up Rick’s cock, faster this time, before moving forward and engulfing Rick in one take that made Rick cry out at the suddenness of the movement, arching against the bed as Negan sank down his flesh, teeth grazing Rick and making a slight amount of pain mix with the pleasurable sensations of a hot mouth around his cock.

If Rick thought that Negan was going to take him slowly, he was definitely wrong. Immediately the man began moving up and down on Rick’s cock, sucking so hard it bordered on painful as his tongue wrapped firmly around the member, taking Rick with an ease that caused this experience to dwarf what Rick had managed with him before. As his bare hand moved down to grip Rick’s balls and began to fondle and tug at them, his leather glove rounded Rick’s base, his tongue and mouth movements coupling with those to make Rick harden quickly. Rick panted, mouth agape as the sensations overwhelmed him, arching off of the bed before beginning to writhe in the ropes, unable to stop the sensations coursing through his body. There was no pain, only him and the mouth around his cock and the hand firm around his balls. Firm, controlling, and as Negan’s ministrations continued, Rick found himself not minding that control. That was perhaps the most terrifying part of it, the fact that he felt his body give in so easily, with his mind beginning to agree with the pleasure this was causing him. This was easily the best blow job that he’d ever received, fast, determined, and demanding as Negan pushed him closer and closer to his climax. It forced throaty moans out of Rick’s throat and groans as Negan raked his teeth across his Pet’s dick. 

In those moments he bucked into that hot mouth, pushing his cock further into the warm, moist caverns that continued to suck him towards completion, relishing that intense heat as another part of him, the part that had been humiliated by Negan, relished the fact that Negan was doing something typically subservient to him, something that he had forced Rick to do for him just hours before. But of course, in the back of his mind Rick knew who was in true control. After all, who was tied to the structure beneath the two of them? And as far as Rick could tell, he might be nude but Negan was fully clothed. Rick supposed that that thought should be a downer, but with another suck and lick from the man around his dick, his body seemed to defy such logic as another moan was pulled from his lips. Negan pulled off of his cock in that moment and Rick whined, trying to move with the man only to be stopped by the bare hand holding his hips down. The dark haired man chuckled and Rick cried out in a yelp as an unwanted bite was made to his inner thigh, reminding him just who was in control. 

“Patience, my little slut,” Negan slurred in a voice that threatened to bring Rick down from the sensational high he was currently in. Inwardly, Rick bristled at the term, but as Negan’s hand began to pump and down his cock as his bare hand moved away, Rick couldn’t help but melt once more beneath him. He felt two tugs at his ankles followed by the ropes falling away and he frowned. What was. . . “On my shoulders, now,” Negan muttered. “Wh-what are you- ah!” Rick gasped, arching back as the man twisted his dick firmly once again. “A good Pet doesn’t question their Master. Certainly not in the middle of such a reward. Legs, shoulders. Now,” Negan slurred. Rick gulped hard but slowly, shakily, moved his legs into the air. Negan chuckled and slammed against them, making Rick cry out as his legs and arse were pushed higher into the air. 

“That’s a good Pet,” the man murmured, Rick now essentially a V, his legs being pushed to the point where his two feet, the one swollen and the other not, pointed at the wall above his head. Taking advantage of the way it forced Rick to be angled, Negan craned his body forward, forcing more of his weight onto Rick’s thighs as he pressed his lips against Rick’s cock once more, breathing a hot, steamy breath on it as Rick’s eyes trickled with tears of pain at the bending. He’d never been good at yoga, after all. Rick whimpered gently at both the pleasure and once again disappearing pain that raced through him, Negan sliding down about halfway around his cock before beginning to pump the base of it once more with the gloved hand as his mouth bobbed up and down, once again setting a brutal pace that had Rick keening as it forced him towards orgasm and his bare hand moved back to hold Rick’s balls. 

In no time the former Sheriff was crying out and moaning as he bucked into Negan’s face once again, only pausing when the bare hand’s finger tip traced down the length of skin between his cock and arsehole. Rick whimpered as it teased the hole, dipping in and out gently, “M-Master, please. . .no,” he whispered, his body tensing all over. He’d known the good treatment wouldn’t last long, but he had hoped it would last a bit longer. . . at least before Negan decided to take what he really wanted from him. Moving off of his cock, Negan chuckled calmly, before making shushing sounds, “Shhh, Pet. This is still your reward, remember? Tell me, do you want it to continue? Do you want to continue to enjoy yourself? Because I can make you enjoy it. I can make you enjoy it all, my little whore.” 

Rick bit his lip as the finger moved up and around his arsehole. He didn’t want to chance it, he didn’t. But maybe for Negan, while this was about control, it was also about Rick being rewarded. Maybe this was the man’s way of giving him a pleasurable incentive to turn Daryl. And what if he could make it enjoyable? Besides, wouldn’t Negan just take him anyway? His mind went to being raped by Lucille, being raped so brutally on the desk and table by the man who wielded her. If there was even a slight chance of him enjoying this, then he’d take that over the alternative any day, he was sure of it. “Y-yes Master, please, continue, I’m sorry,” “Good boy,” Negan slurred, kissing the area over where he’d bitten Rick before before moving down and slowly sliding his lips down over Rick’s cock again, setting a brutal pace that had Rick’s half-softened cock hard again in an instant, right around the time he slipped the finger inside of the man on the bed.  
Rick groaned at the feeling of the digit inside him, but he had to admit that it was bearable. It was a lot smaller than the man on top of him’s cock, after all, and as Negan set a stimulating pace again, he was sure he could handle it. It was as a second finger entered that he whimpered, and Negan began to suck harder, as if he was trying to distract Rick from the scissoring that was happening within his anus. It worked, and Rick bucked hard into Negan’s mouth once again, landing back down and impaling himself on the two fingers inside of him. Pushing them deeper did cause an irritation at first, but gradually with Negan’s sucking and fisting, Rick found that they were at least manageable. It wasn’t until the third that he whined, whimpering as he pulled away, “P-please,” he whimpered, this intrusion actually painful. Negan hummed around his cock, before suddenly the hand on his base moved away, returning shortly there after with something that latched around the base of the organ and started to vibrate against Rick. Rick cried out as the vibrations went up through his cock, and where the pleasure of their stimulation ended, Negan’s own stimulation seemed to begin, making the third finger more bearable. Minutes into the double stimulation, Rick’s pleasure fogged mind was interrupted by the fourth finger.

He barely had time to whine though as Negan, seeming to sense the protest that was coming at the painful stretching, arched his hand expertly in that moment and struck something. That something was deep within Rick, something he hadn’t realized he really had. It was like a bomb of pleasure exploded within him and he cried out, thrusting hard up into the sadist’s mouth and making Negan laugh around the organ between his teeth, nipping Rick and making him cry out again as his teeth caused pain and his fingers once again struck that spot. The mixture of pleasure and pain coarsed through the bound man, and Rick let out a throaty wail as he felt his balls tighten. This was it, he knew it, he was about to cum. . . And then. . . nothing. He panted, confused as he collapsed against the bed. Moving back, Negan chuckled calmly, kissing Rick’s swollen, weeping cock, “No, not yet dear Pet. . .” with that he struck the man’s prostate again, and Rick cried out, arching against the bed once more as another wave of pleasure moved through him, accompanied by the vibrating device around the base of his cock, “Not until your Master’s had his own fun. Now tell me, are you ready for that? Are you ready to feel me inside you? Are you?” the man said in a husky tone.

Rick paused. He feared the man being inside him once more, but as Negan stretching his fingers inside Rick’s now prepared hole, he tried desperately to convince himself that it wasn’t about to be as bad. Hadn’t Negan said he would make Rick enjoy it? ‘What if he’s lying to you?’ a cold voice, the voice of the man that had told Negan he was going to kill him, sounded in his mind, ‘How can you enjoy this murderer pounding into you? The man who killed Glenn, who left Maggie a widow, Carl and Judith essentially fatherless? The one who is trying to get you to force Daryl to turn on his family, your family?’ It was then that Negan arched his fingers once more, and Rick cried out, jerking his hips as the man slammed into his prostate again. Forcing that voice into silence.

Yes, Negan had done all those things, but was Rick in any position to deny the man? No. Because Negan was a monster, or at least he could be. He’d proven that to Rick many times before. And if Rick didn’t comply, what would that monster do? To Carl, to Judith once he found her? To the others? To Rick, to Daryl? Rick gulped hard, his prick sticking out from his body, held firm and swollen in the cock ring that continued to vibrate around the base. The base of the cock he’d begged Negan to suck on. He drew a shuddering breath. Even though a part of him was repulsed by it all, Rick had to admit to himself that another part of him wanted this side of Negan, at least if he was going to be forced to stay with the man as some sick Pet. He didn’t want to be like Benny, didn’t want to keep getting hurt. He wanted this version of Negan so much more, wanted to feel the way the man’s touches had caused him to feel, even if those same finger tips had wielded Lucille and killed his friends. In that moment, he wanted the pleasure Negan could afford him, because it in comparison to the other things he’d endured made his choice oh so simple. 

So, swallowing his pride in favor of what he wanted, Rick forced the words from his lips, and was shocked at the lack of force they required as he essentially sold his soul to the devil yet again, “I. . . I want you inside me, N-Negan. Please, I want to enjoy you inside me, Master,” he whispered. There was a dark chuckle, before the fingers were slowly removed, and Rick grit his teeth as the undoing of a belt and zipper was heard before his hips were grabbed and the tip of Negan’s hard cock pressed into his opening. “Good Boy,” Negan slurred.

Rick panted as the cock, inch by inch, slid into him, much easier now that the man had taken his time with widening his arse, but still with a twinge of pain. “Breathe, Ricky Baby, breathe in,” Negan murmured in a still commanding tone, the man’s gloved hand resting on Rick’s chest and rubbing it in the center before moving and tweaking around one nipple, making Rick groan and arch his back, sucking in a deep breath. “There we go,” Negan slurred, “Now, out. . .” He pushed down at that moment, forcing the air from Rick’s lungs. Rick wheezed slightly as his chest was forced down, and tugged at his bonds, but he continued to breathe as Negan loosened the pressure and continued to press into his anus.

His fingers tightened around the rope as the man’s jacket pressed against his naked legs, until finally, the sadist was seated firmly inside of him, Rick’s prepared opening still straining around the Leader’s girth. Rick moaned weakly at the tightness as Negan groaned appreciatively, wiggling himself against Rick before slowly pulling back out, “Goddamn that’s good. But where are my manners? No reason you shouldn’t enjoy it too,” the man chuckled, and with that altered his angle and rammed into Rick. Rick cried out, not from the pain as Negan’s clothed hips slammed into his arse cheeks, but because of the explosion of pleasure as Negan’s heavy cock slammed into his prostate. Negan paused, and Rick knew the man was grinning at the flushed look on Rick’s face as he panted, back having arched automatically at the shot of pleasure. 

“There we go, Pet. Now get ready to moan and move that fine ass of yours around my cock. Your reward has just gotten started. . .” with that he pulled back and slammed back into Rick, earning a throaty moan as his dick hit the pleasure point once more. Rick came down from the moan, his head pressed against the pillow as the pleasure washed over him, leaving him with aftershock tremors that seemed to roll through his body in time with the vibrations of the cock ring. Negan only paused a moment, kissing Rick’s knee before setting a punishing pace that normally would have caused the other man only pain, but now caused overwhelming waves of pleasure to flow over Rick, threatening to drown him and forcing his body to twist and arch against Negan’s firm hold and for his head to crane back emitting whorish noises that normally would have made him blush in embarrassment. He supposed in many ways he should be ashamed. He was submitting to Negan entirely. It seemed like this was even more submissive a position than when Negan had been forceful and painful. After all, this was handing himself over to the man, to be manipulated to the point of pleasure. But honestly, as ashamed as he knew he should be, Rick couldn’t bring himself to feel any hint of embarrassment as the waves of pleasure washed over him with every clash of his prostate against Negan’s sizeable, obscenely precise cock, and with every vibration from the toy around his own.

They went on like that for what seemed like a far too short eternity, Negan ensuring that each hit caused spasming pleasure to rush over Rick as the man on the bed went from writhing in pleasure beneath the Leader to bucking against him, gaining a rhythm that matched Negan thrust for thrust, producing a result that was most favorable. Rick reaped the benefits of such a thing and let Negan know it, moaning and groaning as his body was overwhelmed with pleasure and frustration alike. He was sure that he came close to climaxing at least 5 times while Negan pounded into him, the bed knocking against the wall behind it as they moved the structure. But each time the cock ring painfully made sure that Rick wasn’t allowed to cum, wasn’t allowed to exude a single drop of his own seed. It was a pleasurable torture like no other, and it made him yearn to bring Negan to his own release in order to reach his ultimate climactic opportunity. It made him move faster against the man, grinding and thrusting himself along the man’s cock at a pace that rivaled Negan’s own.

Finally, he started to feel the man’s cock begin to tense, and he panted, desperation in each keening sound as the darker man leaned over him, gripping Rick’s locks possessively as his body thrust against the brunette . Pain shot through Rick’s legs but he ignored it as the other man’s scotch flavored breath hit his lips, lust dripping from his voice, “Goddammit, I’m about to cum in your tight, fine ass, Pet. Tell me, would you like that? Would you like feeling me coating those fucking insides of yours? Filling you up? Tell me, my little slut, would that make you happy?”

Rick gulped, licking his lips as the man’s pace slowed. No. He didn’t want that, not really. But as long as Negan came, he would get to as well, and so yes, he did want that, he supposed. In a way. Such reasoning made his next words a little easier. “Yes, Master,” he breathed, panting, sweat covering both of their bodies, “I. . . I want to feel you come inside me. I want you to fill me up. It’ll make me happy, Master, so, so goddamn happy,” he whispered. Negan chuckled, and pressed a harsh kiss to Rick’s lips, “That’s my good Pet.” Leaning back, he growled and set a harsher pace, his thrusts becoming more and more erratic. Not all struck Rick’s prostate, but the vibrations around his cock’s base seemed to intensify, and he panted, his own thrusts against Negan becoming erratic as well as he approached his own release yet again. ‘Please, please let me have it,’ he thought desperately. He didn’t have long to wait, as moments later Negan stilled before exploding within him, spurt after spurt of cum filling Rick as he unloaded into the brunette, making him groan at the full feeling it produced. It was then that the cock ring was quickly removed, and Rick came in what could only be described as a series of bright explosions.

Rick screamed as his dick erupted violently, the angle he was in forcing streams of white to cover his stomach and chest as his hips bucked, thrusting him onto Negan’s own ejaculating cock even more, head arched back as his pleasure finally peaked in a way that made him nearly pass out. Suddenly he realized over his own cries that Negan was laughing, and not in a way that was comforting but in a way that chilled him to the bone as the man dug his nails into his hips. He wasn’t laughing in relief, Rick knew that. He was laughing at Rick. It confused Rick. What was going on? What the he- “GET MY POINT NOW, YOU SORRY REDNECK SHIT?” Negan shouted, and with a jerk ripped off Rick’s blindfold, making Rick’s eyes fly open. His eyes, once filled with lust but now filled with that emotion mixed with embarrassment, flew over the small, dingy looking room he now found himself in. It wasn’t the worst place he’d seen since the apocalypse had started, but it certainly was no Alexandrian house.

He saw the small kitchenette, saw the armchair, saw the tv, saw the dresser, saw the radio, saw the lamp, saw the windows letting light stream in from outside. He saw the rack of clothes, saw the door no doubt leading to a bathroom or closet. But what he focused on, the thing that shattered him to his core, that made him wish he could hide as his orgasm forced him to buck and continue to expel his cum, was the man he saw looking right at him as he lay pinned beneath the Savior Leader. There stood Daryl, a cloth tied around his mouth having forced him to be silent through it all, as Dwight and another man held onto his shirt tightly, most likely the only ones that kept him from lunging at his former leader and the man who had just fucked him until his legs were rubbed raw by the man’s jacket.

His face was swollen, his body clearly having been beaten on since they last saw each other, his bullet wound roughly dressed. His eyes locked on with Rick’s, the pain and anguish within them evident. Rick sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, beginning to sob as Negan continued to thrust up inside him, seeming to want to continue to do so even after he’d stopped cumming inside of Rick, his laughter filling the room along with Rick’s sobs, shame and embarrassment flooding through him where lust and passion had moments before taken root. “Why?” he croaked. Negan paused, in both his laughter and his thrusts, and smirked at Rick, grinning evilly, “Why the hell not? You said you wanted another chance to try to turn Daryl, and this was the perfect demonstration of a point I am trying to make to the sad fuck.” Leaning down, he grabbed Rick’s hair and licked the man’s ear, making Rick shiver as the man hissed, “And if I can punish you by pounding into you and making you moan like the whore I’m gonna make you to do it, then why not hit two birds with the same goddamn stone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd end scene. I have to admit, I squirmed quite a bit while writing this chapter. Writing it at work definitely made my shift after my lunch break very. . . interesting, to say the least. So what do you guys think? I would love to hear your thoughts . . . will try to have the next chapter posted soon enough!


	16. A New Lesson Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Negan prepares to force Rick to feel pleasure in a new form of punishment, conversations are had, thoughts are mulled over, story time is held, and an offer is rejected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Before I introduce this new chapter, let me apologize for the long time it took to post again. Times for me have been hectic. Finding place after place to try to rent and having either the place not work out or someone else get approved before I have a chance to apply has been nearly maddening, driving me and my beloved up the walls. And of course alongside that life goes on, being its fun, stressful, unpredictable self. All amazingly effective ingredients in creating a writer's block! But today we put down a security deposit for an apartment and so the stress has been lifted and the writer's block has been removed! At least for the most part! And here is chapter. . .14.5. Yes, you heard me right, 14.5. Due to the fact that I wanted the reader to experience the last chapter the same way Rick did, not knowing what was really going on past his waves of pleasure, I decided to wait to put a prequel to that chapter here, basically what Negan was doing before Rick woke up. I hope you all enjoy it, those of you who haven't been scared or turned off from my fiery little tale that is. . .

Negan watched as Carson jammed the needle of the IV into Rick’s arm, the doctor having already hung the medical bag connected to it on a hook set in the wall of the small room that he had brought Rick into. The Savior Leader had gotten to the room and tied Rick’s limp body to the bed with relative ease, using easy release knots to secure his wrists and ankles. Well, easy for Negan to release anyway. It would prove quite difficult for the man on the bed to remove them, but then that was the point. He had tested the firmness of each loop of rope before putting his red ascot across Rick’s closed eyes, the final preparation needed to start his new and latest form of punishment. Now it was just a matter of Rick waking up at the right time and then the fun would begin.

He looked down at the beer in his hand as he sat in the armchair of the room, the thing only 3/4s of the way full, moving the bottle around with twists of his wrist so that the amber liquid inside swirled. A sigh from Carson suddenly drew his dark obsidian eyes up to the man in the white coat standing beside the bed. 

“Yes?” he muttered, sarcasm dripping from his tone at the other man’s derisive sound, tilting his head back and bringing the beer to his lips, taking a long sip of the home-brewed alcohol. “He SHOULDN’T be here. I SHOULD see him immediately. I MAY need to reset his collarbone, I DEFINITELY gotta see to that hand and ankle, not to mention I’m GONNA have to RE-STITCH that forehead of his . . .” Carson muttered, disapproval radiating in his tone, “Not to mention what you and that bat of yours have done to him just THIS MORNING. . . and his THROAT. . . I just HOPE what you’ve done hasn’t gone too deep.” As the doctor put his hands on his hips, looking down at the unconscious prisoner on the bed, shaking his head, Negan’s lips curled slightly, his already dark eyes blackening further.

Rick had been wiped down upon Carson’s arrival while Negan had observed from his chair. The wipe down hadn’t proven to ease the doctor’s nerves, apparently, but then, that wasn’t the point. The POINT was that the doctor needed to figure out what the hell was wrong with Rick in order to patch up the man so that Negan could further use him to meet his own ends. Apparently what was wrong with him included quite a few things. . .The jagged puncture wounds around the brunette’s neck were gruesome, the stitches were now a bloody mess on Rick’s forehead, and if his ankle was in bad condition before it was in even worse shape now. And the collarbone and spinal injuries were nothing to play at. Carson sighed, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the brunette. He was certain that ultimately the blue eyed Pet would have SOME form of nerve damage SOMEWHERE on his body if Negan didn’t rein in his punishments. . . And that was ONLY if he didn’t have any damage already. 

Negan narrowed his eyes as Carson looked over at the leather clad man due to lack of a response from the Savior Leader. Carson grit his teeth seeing the irritation in the man’s face, and he darted his eyes down submissively as Negan took a long sip on his beer before resting it back on his knee, the cold smile that accompanied it enough to chill the other man to his core. He gulped, hoping that he had not said too much to irritate Negan. Even in his arrogance there was a part of him that always remembered just how much of a deadly force Negan had proven he could be. Negan might be a brute, but that was not something he accomplished by sacrificing his intellect, at least not very often. Negan knew almost everything that was going on within his network the moment it happened, and anything he didn’t know right away, when he found out he dealt with it swiftly and firmly. And for the victim, often painfully. 

“Oh I’m SURE just another half hour or so won’t do any further harm to my Pet,” Negan said sarcastically. “Then you can come collect him and take him to get all fixed up. By the way, you’ll also have the redneck dog to deal with after that. Somehow he got a bullet wound in his shoulder,” Negan finished with a shrug, his voice using an innocent sounding tone as if he had no idea how a bullet could have gotten to Daryl. 

Carson sighed, his shoulders slumping at the thought of having to fish out a bullet. Even with proper pre-apocalypse procedures, that had always been a tough job for him. . . “Funny how things just seem to ‘happen’ when you’re dealing with new recruits, huh?” Negan shrugged again, smirked at the man, and took another long drink of his beer. It wasn’t half bad, to be completely honest. 

“What can I say? Some people just take their time learning their lessons and places. And I can’t help it if my SHEER DEDICATION allows me to teach them valuable lessons, over and over again, until everything starts to SINK IN. But I’m sure that a skilled doctor such as yourself can handle my Pet and his redneck friend. . . unless I need to look for another . . . MORE SKILLED doctor. Perhaps a younger one?” his eyebrows raised at that, and he stroked his chin as if trying to think of who that might be or where he might find that sort of doctor.

The reaction was a farce and the doctor knew it. The man wouldn’t need time to figure out where to find another doctor, and that thought was proven true as he remarked, “Say, I believe you have a son you were teaching your work to over at the Hilltop settlement?” He let a slow, white toothed smile glisten across his face, eyes sparking dangerously at Carson as cruelty laced his next words, “Maybe some young blood would be an innovative way to improve in areas wherein you may be lacking some fucking creativity. Yeah, maybe that’s just what we need. . . so, if this is too much for you, I COULD just reopen your position, and pay Gregory and the younger Dr. Carson over there a little vis-” 

“That won’t be necessary,” Carson interrupted quickly, frowning at Negan before lowering his eyes once more after a sharp look from the deadly man across the room was sent his way. Negan set his jaw tightly, the bones pressing together almost painfully as his grip tightened on the bottle in his hand. Even if he had seen the outburst coming, Negan NEVER liked being interrupted. Still, he allowed the doctor to continue.

“I-I will be able to handle it,” the man continued quietly, “Please, I hope I haven’t caused you to doubt my abilities.” Negan looked at him coldly for another moment which caused the Doctor to stiffen as Negan turned his head and rested his free hand on Lucille’s handle, bringing her up so that he was gazing at her barbs as they gleamed in the dim light of the room, twisting her around, “I suppose I still believe in you. . . for now. . .” he looked at Carson, blinking at him, “You may go. Prepare for the two of them. Come back in 45 minutes. I want my Pet back in his cage by nightfall. If you deem it necessary he can continue to be on painkillers and antibiotics for tonight and tomorrow. But the day after he better be able to walk around for half a day AT LEAST on his own. If not, you will be to blame, Carson.”

Carson stared at him, disbelief flooding his face in a pale wave, “W-w-walk?” he stuttered, Negan’s already tall order seeming even more absurd with that requirement tacked onto it. To properly heal, Rick Grimes would need to stay off of his ankle for at least half of a month! And Negan wanted him walking around for hours on end just after two days? Negan suddenly gave him a colder look, arching a black eyebrow, drawing the Doctor out of his ruminations, “Yes, ‘walk’. Is that a problem?” Carson gulped and shook his head, “N-no sir, I’ll go ready my equipment.” “Good, You fucking do that,” Negan muttered, and with that the other man rushed out of the room.

Negan blinked, watching him leave. Once the Doctor had closed the door quickly behind him, the man frowned and turned back to Rick, lifting a walkie talkie to his lips, pressing a button on the side, “Go get ‘im, D.” “Yessir,” was the gravelly, static doused reply, and Negan stood, tossing the walkie down on the armchair where it bounced a little but didn’t fall off. Slowly he approached the body of the man lying dormant on the bed. He frowned, blinking at Rick for a moment, focusing on the rise and fall of the man’s chest as he contemplated just what he was about to do.

It was something he’d never really done with Benny. That boy had gotten on his nerves from the beginning, and Negan had never really moved past wanting to beat the ever loving shit out of him. But Rick was different, much more complex and intelligent compared to the Oceanside mongrel. 

While Benny had been only frustrating, Rick was a true challenge, and unfortunately, Rick had also attacked Negan’s men. “It could have been so goddamn better for you, you fucking prick,” Negan hissed coldly down at the man, “If only we could have started things on the right goddamn foot. But then you had to come and piss on my territory.” After what Rick had done and what Negan had had to do in retaliation against him, there was no fucking way in hell that he would let Rick be an equal, or even let Rick lead his people while following Negan’s orders. The bastard would only try to circumvent him, Negan knew it. Which only left one way of controlling the man lying on the bed. Breaking him. It would be harder to break him, but Negan was sure that he was up for the challenge.

And why shouldn’t he appreciate the side effects of it? He felt his cock start to harden in that moment, the thought of ramming it up into Rick’s tight arse incredibly arousing. He LOVED THE FEELING OF DOMINATION, of feeling CONTROL over others, and if that was a side effect of breaking the man on the bed down and buildng him back up as a perfect Pet, he was going to at least enjoy fucking Rick’s ass every chance he got. Another perk was that he could be as rough with the prick as he wanted. 

Negan was good with a nice, sweet, tender fucking every once in a while, but there was something about some good rough sex that got his blood going and left him feeling almost numb with power for hours after the act. To feel another human tremble as he dominated them, to have them cry out as he drove his large dick into them, plowing into them like it was going to tear them in two while he felt them struggle to gain control to no avail against the impending force that was him, it was incredibly erotic. 

But it was also something he refused to do with any of his wives. No, that was his father, when he’d beat his mother and him in his drunken rages. It was NOT him. His wives were clearly off limits. But Rick Grimes? As his Pet? Hell, that was fucking fine. And if it kept him AND his group in line, that was all the better. He smirked down at the man on the bed, “Too bad for you Ricky boy. You need to be broken, no ifs ands or buts about it. And I plan to enjoy the fucking process as long as I can.” 

With that, he leaned down and whispered with his alcohol tinged breath on the man’s ear, “And I’m particularly going to enjoy this punishment of yours, little whore. It’s a fucking great one, worse than any other you’ve felt yet, you fucking slut. You literally won’t see it fucking coming, and by the end of it I’ll have made you moan and groan and whine like the goddamn Pet I’m going to turn you into, whether you want to or not. I’m going to make you need to keen and moan for me, you sorry shit, then leave you shattered. Trust me, next time I need you to do something, you’re gonna damn well try harder to get it done.”

At that moment, the door opened and Daryl was hauled in, his face swollen, his shoulder having been semi patched up with a piece of gauze and duct tape. Blood still oozed from around the patch that had already been stained an ugly red color. Negan let a cool smile cross his face at the appearance of the redneck dog before turning and pulling a syringe full of yellow tinted fluid from his pocket, holding it in front of his face and flicking his finger against the needle. 

“Jesus, you look AWFUL,” he pushed the plunger a millimeter deeper into the syringe cylinder and smiled as a bit of liquid popped out of the end. “Don’t you worry though. . . we’re gonna have Carson fix you all up. . . right after this little lesson. It’s a great one, I gotta tell ya. VERY ENTERTAINING, and it’s a dual one, for you and your buddy over here. Well, FORMER buddy.” leaning forward, taking Rick’s painkiller drip, he pushed the needle into the IV tube, injecting the contents straight into the device headed into Rick’s arm. 

As he did so, he heard Daryl struggle behind him, and even saw the bed jerk to the side before Dwight had him under control once again. Chuckling, he turned, smirking at Daryl, a dark light playing in his eyes as he schooled his features into that of a calm expression, “Thirsty?” He held out the beer, and Daryl’s eyes darted to him from where he’d been looking at Rick on the bed, concern filling his dark depths. Daryl grit his jaws firmly together but reached out for the bottle reluctantly, and Negan chuckled as he moved the bottle away and out of reach, “Huh? I don’t think I fucking heard you.” Daryl looked at him, the initial confusion in his gaze turning quickly to irritation as he forced out a “Yesh,” from behind puffed up, swollen lips.

Negan smirked, “Well here ya go then,” he pushed the bottle into Daryl’s hand immediately , “Need a straw? I mean, with your mouth all fucking puffed up like a baboon’s ass, you might need one. . .” Daryl’s eyes moved from Negan to Rick again, as if debating what he should do and contemplating what exactly could be about to happen. Negan’s grin only grew at the apprehension in the prisoner’s eyes, “All that fucking thinking you’re doing, I’m surprised I don’t smell some of your goddamn brain cells frying.” 

Daryl’s jaw tightened, and he cut Negan a dark look that only made the black haired man chuckle, “I’ll tell you like I fucking told Ricky boy here. You need to be goddamn careful how you’re fucking looking at me. Most people who look at me like that end up shitting their pants REAL soon. Or causing someone else to. . .” he jerked his head to Rick on the bed, and instantly the redneck’s look of anger turned to one of concern. Negan smirked, clearly pleased by the effect that merely threatening Rick was having on the man in front of him. It made him feel even more sure that what he had planned would serve to dig more into Rick’s psyche and get what he wanted from the man in front of him at the same time. That was what he liked. Knowing what affected people and learning how to manipulate them using that knowledge. It made him feel powerful and granted him a new level of security.

“Learning slowly but surely, aren’t we?” Negan chuckled, “Now, do you need a fucking straw or not?” Daryl visibly clenched his free hand whilst the knuckles of the one holding the beer turned white from the strain he was putting on them. Still he nodded, face still a bit too swollen for him to talk properly. Turning, grinning, Negan winked at Dwight, “Well go, get him a straw D, what’s your goddamn problem?” 

Instantly Dwight moved into action, hurrying to the kitchen area of the room, opening a drawer and rummaging around a moment, avoiding looking at Rick tied to the bed at all costs. “See that? He hustles. I LIKE hustle,” Negan murmured, turning around to grin toothily at Daryl again, flashing his vicious pearly whites, “And when people hustle, they get rewarded. Ya see, I’m not someone who deals out only punishment without a reward. I’m such a goddamn fucking stand up guy, I deal out both! When they’re deserved, anyway. . . And everything can change in a motherfucking instant. Take D here. . .” he motioned to the scarred man as he moved forward and stuck a straw in Daryl’s bottle, not meeting the redneck’s eyes before turning to stand beside him, taking a firm hold on the sweatshirt once more. 

“Believe it or not, things weren’t always cool between us. . . D here, he worked for points, him and his super hot wife and her super hot sister. But that’s hard work, and her super hot sister got sick. Now medicine, that’s harder to scavenge, so obviously it takes a fuckton more points to get that shit and her super hot sister started losing most of hers just to try to get fucking better. . . well, I could see that her situation wasn’t gonna get any fucking easier if something didn’t goddamn change. . .”

Turning, he walked to the fridge and opening it, grabbed another bottle of beer from the twelve pack inside, twisting the cap off and chucking it to a random corner of the room before tilting his head back, guzzling some of the amber liquid down before turning back to Daryl and Dwight, “So I asked her to fucking marry me. Told ‘er I’d take care of her, in sickness and in health, no fucking points required. Because I’m a goddamn STAND UP guy, and a PRETTY fucking handsome one to boot. She’d live in the best fucking lap of luxury we could give her, and NEVER have to worry about any goddamn shit again. Seems like the best shit ever right? All she has to do is marry me, and she gets one HUGE MOTHERFUCKING REWARD! . . .And then. . . she looks at me and tells me she has to goddamn THINK about it. THINK about THIS. . .” He motioned to himself as if the thought of rejecting him was something only an insane person would do as he walked back over to Daryl.

“So I said ok, decided to let her think about it and figure out what a goddamn AWESOME deal it fucking was. . . . Next thing ya know, I’m dealing with a downright ornery situation. See, Dwighty boy here STOLE all the fucking medication, took his super hot wife and my super hot, soon to be maybe fiance, and ran the fuck out of town! So. . .” Negan turned and gripped Lucille’s handle where she leaned against the armchair he’d been sitting in, moving her around and pointing her at Dwight, mentally reveling in the wince the man gave ever so slightly as the deadly bat was pointed at him, “So I sent men after him, because I can’t let shit like that slide. There are RULES for a GODDAMN REASON. . . And you know what Dwighty boy fucking did? He STILL got away! End of story right? Wrong! Ya see D, he saw the light! He came back! He motherfucking asked for my goddamn forgiveness! . . . I LIKE that.” Negan gave a chuckle at that, leaning forward and pushing the barbed end of the bat into the carpet, twisting it slightly as he moved his head down and tilted it up so that his obsidian eyes looked right into Daryl’s, “Made me. . .” he gave a wink, “Take notice. . .”

Leaning back he swung Lucille back up and around, to rest the barbed end on the wrist of the hand that still held his beer, “But Lucille. . . Well, you know how SHE is. . .” He took a step closer to Daryl, to where the bat was only about five inches away from the edge of his sweatshirt. It made the redneck suck in a deep breath in spite of the brave front he was attempting to put up as Negan rolled his eyes as if exasperated with the weapon.

“She is a STICKLER FOR THE RULES. AND SHE WANTED PAYMENT. . . But Dwight, he begged me not to kill Sherry,” He nodded in the blonde haired man’s general direction at that, taking a step back and tapping Lucille against his wrist, “And we both thought it was kinda cute, so I was just gonna kill HIM. But then Sherry . . .” he chuckled and moving Lucille down again, leaned on her against the floor as he lifted the beer lazily to his lips, “She says she will marry me. . .” 

He moved the beer towards his chest before moving it slowly in Dwight’s general direction, an amused grin playing over his face, “Which is a pretty screwed up fucking deal when you think about it, because I was already gonna marry her fucking sister until she wound up dead. Buuuut, Sherry is . . . super hot! Well anyway, it was a fucking start but it wasn’t goddamn enough. . .So Dwight, he got the iron, and then I married his super hot wife. . .” He glanced at Dwight with that knowing grin on his face, and Dwight shifted slightly, his jaw set firm as he looked right back at the Leader, “Well. . . ex-wife. And then, after all that fucked up shit, he STILL got on board, and now look at him! POW! One of my top, right hand motherfucking guys!” He smirked at the blonde before turning to Daryl, holding up his bat in one hand and his beer in the other, “And we are TOTALLY cool!” 

Negan let the silence hang in the air before moving Lucille to point at Daryl, “Ya see, punishment. . . and reward. . .” he pointed the bat over at Dwight, “The point. . .” he turned and marched over to his armchair before sitting down, looking at Daryl, “Of that whole goddamn story is that I think YOU could be THAT guy. And not in the next month, not in the next fucking year. I mean right the fuck now. I think you are READY to be that guy. Right now I know you’re fucking hurting. Hell you’re supposed to fucking hurt, you’re receiving goddamn punishment for being a dumbass and being rebellious. But just like THAT,” he hit the carpet with his bat, “YOU could switch straight into the reward part, and enjoy ALL THIS. . . ALL THIS,” he chuckled, and nodded at where Rick still lay unconscious, “Well, minus one little part. That sorry ass fucker is MINE. . . But the rest of it COULD BE YOURS. All YOU gotta do, is answer one simple, fucking question. Who are you?” 

Moving his head back, he drained half of the rest of the beer before turning and refocusing on Daryl. But the magic words didn’t fall from the stubborn man’s mouth. Negan gripped the bottle tighter, his jaw setting as his gaze darkened, “What, cat got your fucking tongue? Are you just amazed at the sheer awesomeness of all this? I’ll ask you another fucking time, just in case your fucking brain is taking time processing this amazing goddamn deal I’ve just laid out on the fucking goddamn table for you: Who the fuck are you?”

Instead of answering, Daryl just looked right back at Negan, his eyes, though swollen, defiant as he tilted the untouched beer. The straw and fluid went flying down to patter against the carpet below. Dwight gave a startled shout and, grabbing Daryl, socked him hard across the jaw, the bottle flying to land hard against the carpeted concrete where it broke on impact. “Woah now D, calm the fuck down!” Negan suddenly shouted, and the two turned to him, shock written on both of their faces, clearly having expected an angry outburst from him if anything.

And the anger was there, swirling about inside him, threatening to build up to the point of lashing out. But the man forced a calm look to cross his face, glancing over as Rick’s fingers started to twitch along with his face. Excellent. The stimulants were right on cue, and he was about to use his Pet to both punish Rick and Daryl and prove to the dumbass redneck just how fast someone who was expected to cause pain could also cause pleasure. “He made his decision. . .” Negan smiled at the blonde haired man before turning to Daryl, that cheshire grin stretching further across his features in a way that made even the redneck take a step back, “And I understand. You don’t believe that I can deal out so much fucking punishment and still make people feel good with a fucking reward. Heck I get it. . .” 

He clapped his hands and stood up, resting Lucille in the chair and draining the last of his beer, “So maybe instead of a fucking story about how quick things can go from bad to damn good for you, you need a demonstration to drive that fucking point home. . . And I think your former Leader over there can help me with that. D, get a gag in the redneck pup’s mouth and hold on tight to him for me. . .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, what did you think? Please leave a comment below, the next chapter will be posted soon, if the universe permits, lol! Also, I am thinking of writing an AU Rick/Negan story, decidedly not as dark. Just as a heads up! My inspiration without a shadow of a doubt is from another fabulous Author here, GettinGrimey!


	17. Worse Than Any Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Negan has tried to use Rick to win Daryl over, will the redneck decide to join him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good evening ladies and gents, and welcome to the birthing suite. I am proud to announce the eminent arrival of your bouncing, badass, new chapter.  
> And yes, I did just take that straight paraphrased from Iron Man 3's first Mark 42 set up scene. ;)  
> So, hi there! First let me apologize for the long wait for this chapter. I hope that it is worth it, and I promise there is more to come! I actually have most of the next chapter written, it just needs to be finished and proofread.  
> I really want to thank everyone who has kept up with this story. I personally know how hard it is to get into a story and then have it not update for months at a time, and every time I end up doing it I kick myself in the ass (or would if I was that flexible). So what is my excuse? Life, plain and simple. Moving, work being a pain, adulting (if we had all heard it was going to be this hard and actually believed it, I feel like we would have been far less excited about it). . . but now most of the storms that has caused have passed and I'm getting back to proofreading and working on this story as best and as often as I can! So, I hope you enjoy this chapter, will try to have the next one out soon, please comment below! Warning: hints of some form of ptsd. Not really, but for those of you who didn't like the strangulation in previous chapters, there are hints of that here, although it is not the main theme.

~ “Why the hell not? You said you wanted another chance to try to turn Daryl, and this was the perfect demonstration of a point I am trying to make to the sad fuck.And if I can punish you by pounding into you and making you moan like the whore I’m gonna make you to do it, then why not hit two birds with the same goddamn stone.”~  
Rick trembled at Negan’s words, staring at the ceiling as tears began to form in his eyes, knowing that if he looked at the sadist he’d have a complete emotional breakdown. ‘But aren’t we having one already?’ a solemn, somber voice in his head whispered. He choked out a sob at the thought. Part of him that didn’t want to admit that Negan was right, but overall he was forced to face the facts of the matter all the same. And unfortunately those facts led to only one conclusion, and the satisfied look in the Savior Leader’s eyes let him know that the other man knew what that conclusion was.

. Rick had thought it had been bad enough when Negan had been just beating him, raping him and focusing on his own pleasure while causing Rick only pain. Then he’d believe-albeit foolishly- that that was as bad as things were going to get. But now he knew that Negan could do something that was far worse, as the final tremors of his orgasm raced through his body. They made his arse tremble around Negan’s cock that was still wedged deep inside him and the Savior Leader groaned appreciatively before thrusting his now half hard member up into Rick one more time before pulling out, tucking his dick back into his boxers and pulling up his pants, dark eyes watching the man on the bed with cold hearted satisfaction.

“Goddamn it all if you don’t look fucking hot like that,” the man slurred, slipping his tongue over his bottom lip before biting down on it with a smirk, “All flushed, panting, and red faced, and with your cum all over your front and mine peeking out from between those round ass cheeks of yours. . . I mean goddamn!” as he’d talked he’d slid his black leather belt out slowly from his gray jeans. Rick’s tearfilled blue eyes followed the leather as it hissed through the loops. With his final statement, the man now snapped the belt forward, striking Rick’s ass cheek, making a loud cracking sound and causing Rick to jolt with a soft whimper, “Hot damn what a fucking slut you are,” Negan slurred, “The way you moaned and begged, some of my wives could learn a thing or two from you, you little shit.” 

Rick couldn’t bring himself to look directly at the sadist, and instead moved his head back to rest in the center of the pillow as he looked at the ceiling. Negan’s words cut deep, but not nearly as deep as the aftershocks that still wracked him, reminders of the high that he’d been on just minutes prior to now. The fact that Negan had caused them brought new crystals to his blue eyes before they spilled in thin rivers down his cheeks. Closing his eyes, he choked out a weak sob, hands and feet jerking slightly at his rope bonds, his body subconsciously wanting to leave that place only to be reminded that there was no way to do that. The feeling of the ropes holding him there, forcing him to remain in the reality Negan was creating for him, only made him sob more, crying harder as his chest pulsed with each breath. 

This wasn’t even on the same level as the punishments Rick had received thus far in Negan’s sick initiation process. This was far worse. . . to have actually enjoyed the man’s cock inside him, to have actually begged for the man’s ministrations to continue. . . To moan and groan as he was touched and filled by the man who had killed Abe and Glenn. Who had kidnapped Rick, who had forced him through so much pain already, who had threatened to have him cut up Daryl!

Rick couldn’t even bring himself to look at his friend and closed his eyes, continuing to weep brokenly as he lay against the bed. That was probably the worst part, that Daryl had seen him in such a state. What could Daryl possibly think of him now that Rick had been begging for Negan to fuck him, now that he’d been moaning and groaning in pleasure at what the Leader had done to him? Rick would take a beating any day over this feeling of being used, of feeling like a cheap whore that had just been tossed aside after willingly handing himself over to some random John. . .Suddenly, Rick’s throat was gripped, making him gasp in pain as Negan bore down on it, putting weight behind his palm pressing against Rick’s ripped and torn skin. 

As his windpipe was slowly crushed Rick panicked, his eyes shooting open as he began tugging at his restraints to the point of shaking the bed, writhing beneath the man’s grip and giving pathetic, pleading whimpers to his tormentor. Gazing at him with tearfilled eyes that only radiated fear and pain, Rick silently begged the Savior Leader for mercy even where he knew there was none the man would afford him. 

True to Rick’s assumptions, Negan’s face only stretched into a satisfied smile as he continued to apply more pressure to his prisoner’s neck. Rick wheezed, tossing his head back and opening his mouth, trying to get some form of air into his lungs as memories of Negan choking him out flooded his mind. That had been horrifying for Rick, and to relive it now was torture.

As the leader continued to press down on his windpipe, Rick’s heart pounded, a deafening beat that flooded his ears as he struggled against Negan’s hold, his body shifting quickly into panic mode as he feared for his life and the lives of the ones he loved. After all, if he was gone, what would Negan do to all of them? To think of any of them in his position filled him with more dread than anything the sadist could do to him directly. 

Just as the last of his air was about to leave him, he mustered his strength and managed a weak “P-p-please.” to the man above him, which was welcomed with a dark chuckle before the Savior Leader leaned down, murmuring on his ear in a dark, cold voice that sent a chill up Rick’s spine, “I’ll let you go if you promise to be quiet now, little whore. Your former friend and I have some talking to do, and although I love so many of the sounds you make, I don’t really need them for this. Well, not anymore. If you’re lucky, you will have just helped my conversation with your dumbfuck of a friend go the way I want it to. Which will only lead to good things for you if it does, my little cockslut. And of course, it might lead to the opposite should things go motherfucking sideways. So I suggest you quiet down and pay goddamn attention to what’s going the fuck on.”

Rick gulped hard and nodded, eyes shut tight as his ears popped and he started to feel lightheaded, “Y-y-yes sir,” he barely rasped out. Negan chuckled, and with a short kiss to Rick’s cheek that made the brunette shudder in disgust, the Leader released his pressure and Rick sucked in a deep breath of fresh air, arching back and gasping it in, holding it in his lungs for a moment before breathing out again. His heartbeat returned to its normal rate but fearful tears still streaked down his face. He definitely knew one of the things he would dread Negan doing above most others. The feeling of not being able to breathe terrified Rick and was a feeling he never wanted to experience again. Well, that and the sheer embarrassment he still felt regarding what just transpired between the two of them. Unfortunately he doubted there was much he could do to prevent either from reoccurring.

Finally his breathing returned to normal and he lay quietly on the bed, eyes closed, tears still streaking down but fewer in number this time, his whole body still shaking from residual fear. But he was paying attention. He didn’t dare ignore what was going on, especially when it involved Daryl and himself. “Now, where were we?” Negan muttered, and Rick opened his eyes just a little to watch through his lashes as Negan made his way over to stand before Daryl. The redneck, whose eyes had been on Rick, suddenly moved his gaze to the man in charge. Rick licked his lips nervously, hoping that this did go the way Negan wanted it to. . . for both of their sakes. 

“Oh yeah, I was letting you think over that decision I asked you about earlier!” Negan said with a laugh, stepping closer to Daryl and Dwight with his eyes glittering dangerously. Stopping in front of Daryl, he smirked at the man before him, seeing the hate and concern swirling together in the depths of the prisoner’s eyes, “As you can see, I can be a stand up guy. As fast as I can punish, I can reward, and if need be, hell, I WILL MOTHERFUCKING PUNISH AGAIN! So, let’s quickly recap, shall we? You can A- decide to stay in the hell that you’re currently fucking residing in, getting essentially starved and let us not forget getting the ever loving SHIT beat out of ya! B- get killed and put on a goddamn spike out in front of my compound to guard us all and serve me whether you fucking want to or not. Or C-you can answer one simple little motherfucking goddamn question right and all of this. . .” he turned and motioned to the room, “Could be yours. So. . .” 

Turning, he picked up Lucille, putting her in his left hand and walking closer to Daryl slowly like a predator closing in for the final kill. Daryl glanced over at Rick, who was now watching with both eyes wide open. The naked man’s eyes pleaded with his friend to answer the question the way Negan wanted him too moments before Negan was blocking Rick from Daryl’s vision entirely, his dark eyes intense as he looked at the man, “I’m gonna ask you, one . . . more. . . fucking. . .goddamn . . . time. . .” Lowering his voice to a husky whisper, the Leader leaned closer, so that his lips were inches from Daryl’s ear, “Who the fuckity-fuck-fucking hell are you?”

For a moment, it looked as if the beaten man before him was going to say yes as he looked down, apparently considering the options. But as he looked up and Negan moved back to stand straight before him, the Savior Leader saw the firm stubborn resolve from before enter the redneck’s eyes. Clamping down on any other emotions like the door of a steel vault, it told him what Daryl was going to say before he even said it, and it made Negan set his jaw firmly in irritation and grip the bat even tighter, the leather padding on the handle creaking beneath the pressure. 

Lifting his head up, Daryl let his remaining pride enter his gaze and in spite of his swollen, bloody mouth, he smiled a little, the glee he felt in denying the leader defiantly obvious. One could hear a pin drop, Dwight and Rick’s breaths held tight in their throats as they waited for the redneck to answer. Until finally. . . “Daryl,” he muttered in just barely a whisper.

Rick moaned weakly, closing his eyes and sagging against the bed. He didn’t know whether to feel proud or depressed that his friend had chosen to remain firm in his resolve to stay himself in spite of Negan’s power. He was proud of Daryl’s resolve, sure. He would have hated to have been forced to see his friend be turned into something he wasn’t. But he could only imagine the further torture that that would mean for the both of them. 

Dwight was more vocal with his concern regarding the decision made, grabbing Daryl roughly by the shoulder and jerking him back so the redneck was looking more at him than Negan, who hadn’t moved a muscle since the prisoner had spoken. “Son-of-a-bi” “Woah woah woah, D,” Negan murmured, smirking as he held up a hand, stepping back to the bed and lowering the hand so that his fingers began racing over Rick’s leg, moving back and forth as they tickled the flesh there. Rick whimpered weakly, even the soft raking of the man’s nails feeling like a threat. After all, the fingers attached to those nails had done so much harm already.

Negan chuckled, shrugging his shoulders as he continued, “Man made his goddamn choice, D. Ain’t my goddamn fault it was a motherfucking stupid one. . .” As he continued to step backwards, toward the headboard, he smirked darkly at Daryl, an evil glint in his eye, “After all, each choice has to have goddamn consequences, right?” Moving his hands up over Rick’s chest and across his neck and cheek, making the man on the bed flinch away, Negan grabbed his hair, wrenching Rick’s head back and making the brunette on the bed yelp in shock and pain, eyes shut tight at the strain on both his neck and collarbone due to the nature of the unnatural bending being forced upon them. “Don’t!” Daryl shouted, and lunged forward, only to have Lucille go flying across his cheek, ripping it open in passing. 

Luckily the bat only gave him a glancing blow, but it still made blood fly across the wall and made Rick scream, squirming more against his bonds as Daryl when down on one knee, Dwight following the man, clearly wondering if Negan had hit him hard enough to kill. “CALM THE FUCK DOWN YOU MONGREL DOG!” Negan shouted, his voice making the entire room shake, ‘YOU MADE YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING CHOICE, AND I’M PRETTY FUCKING SURE RICK AND I MADE IT CLEAR WHO MIGHT END UP SUFFERING BECAUSE OF IT! SO YOU HAVE NO GODDAMN RIGHT TO MOTHERFUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO AND NOT DO TO HIM NOW!” At that moment, the door burst open and Carson walked in quickly, anticipation in his gaze, followed by another, more muscular Savior “What the heck is going on in here?!”

The doctor pushed a gurney, whilst the other man merely pushed a wheelchair. Upon seeing Negan with his hand in Rick’s hair and Daryl crouching down, cradling his bleeding face, Carson couldn’t repress a sigh, “Can I please take them now? Before you hurt either any further and make my job even harder?” “Course you fucking can,” Negan muttered, not hiding the threat in his voice regarding the doctor’s tone, “I’m all fucking done here any-goddamn-way.”

Rick grit his teeth and glanced over as he saw Daryl slowly rise to his feet. He felt his hammering heart slow just a little, grateful that the recent blow the redneck took appeared to look worse than it truly was. Negan grunted, swinging Lucille back up and over his shoulder, spraying those in the room with fresh blood that made everyone wince and jerk away, “Go ahead and patch both of ‘em the fuck up. Then you can stuff the redneck bitch back in his fucking box and bring my Pet back to me so I can fucking say goodnight to him.”

“Very well,” Carson said tightly, still not happy with the time limit the Savior Leader had given him but accepting it anyway. Moving forward, he motioned for his assistant to gather up the bleeding prisoner with his hand firmly over the side of his face. Turning, the man watched Negan quickly undo Rick’s bonds, hands shoved into his lab coat. “Don’t let me down, you fucking quack,” Negan growled out, stepping aside as he undid the final knot, the threat regarding the man’s son quite evident in his voice. Carson grit his teeth and straightened his back. He’d been picked on by jocks all of his life, and in spite of going to college and making progress in a career he’d paid dearly for and worked hard at, here he was again, basically having to do the head football player’s homework. Or head baseball player, he supposed. . . 

There was nothing he wanted more than to snap at Negan, or kill him, or do something to make the man feel a mere ounce of the inferiority he imposed on Carson. As he moved forward quickly and gripped Rick’s arm, not missing the way the other man flinched at the cold touch of his gloves, he decided that fucking the man on the bed would have to be his passive aggressive way of doing just that, even if Negan never found out. 

In all reality, the Leader couldn’t find out, for Carson’s sake. Sure he wished he could show Negan what he did with the man’s personal pets, but he knew that that would end with him on a spike outside the compound if not worse. So he merely resolved to fuck the pets in private and feed their dull minds with the lies that Negan wouldn’t care if he fucked them, that telling Negan would be stupid, or that Negan already knew he was fucking them and that the man allowed it. As sadistic as Negan could be, that lie wasn’t a hard sell. Granted, a part of him felt guilty for what he did to them, but another part just simply didn’t care anymore. And besides, he patched up them and checked in on Negan’s wives on a daily basis. So in a way the sex was his latest form of copay.

“Just stay still,” he muttered and rested another hand on the injured portion of Rick’s collarbone to feel it and steady it, “I need you to help me get you on the fucking stretcher now,” the man hissed in Rick’s ear, “Just try not to move your neck too much and this’ll all be a little less painful for you.” 

Rick grit his teeth and nodded, eyes on the sheets of the bed, not forgetting what Carson had told him the last time he’d seen him, especially regarding payment for the drugs he used up. He had been on drugs before, and Negan had had him on drugs for the entire time he’d been on the bed. Who knew how long that had been? It was quite possible that in the doctor’s mind he had racked up a considerable amount of medication debt, and something in his gut told him he’d soon have to pay for every drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! I know some of you probably wished for more action in it, and I'm sorry if you were disappointed. Trust me, there will be more things happening in the next chapter, I just felt that exploring Rick's feelings and of course doing the epic "Who are you?" "Daryl" scene was vital. Hope you liked it, any critiques or thoughts, please comment below! I seriously love you all who have stuck with this story. Each and every comment has warmed my heart, and it's so good to hear that what I write is being appreciated by someone in this screwed up world we live in!  
> btw, Disclaimer: I do not own any properties of Marvel, including Iron Man.


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